The Ugly Stick

[Godskook]

The Ugly Stick: This unusual stick is a +4 club that looks like it is freshly ripped from a dead tree. Whenever a creature is struck with this club, it takes 1d4 charisma burn. In addition, that creature's physical characteristics are mutated as if per the Alter Self spell, except it is a cumulative +1 per strike(no max) that is applied as bonus on checks made to keep your identity a secret and as a penalty on checks made to get someone to recognize you. This penalty applies only to checks that use a visual component. This effect is instantaneous. Any creature that reproduces while under the effects listed above produces offspring that are naturally more ugly than the parents(children affected in this way are considered naturally that ugly). An opponent who does not have a skin is immune to all the effects of this item(it still counts as a +4 club).

Lore:

DC 15: Legend speaks of a stick, wielded by an evil sorceress, so that she really could be the fairest of them all.

DC 20: It is said that the first Ugly Stick was created by Beholder, and that while wielding it, he stabbed himself in the eye with it, and it became stuck there.

DC 25: One of the deep secrets of Gorgons is that any creature may become a Gorgon by beating themselves to death with an Ugly Stick.

[The Mentalist]

I like it. What happens if the ugly tree falls on someone?

[Godskook]

Well, it only is one hit.

On the other hand, we now know what happens when someone falls out of the ugly tree and hits every branch on the way down.

Anybody want to price this thing?

[Zeta Kai]

Oh, neat. In one of my old campaigns, I came up with a joke item called this. It turned out to be quite useful against Charisma-based casters.

Ugly Stick

• Looks like a crudely-wrought wooden club, gnarled & twisted into a vulgar & disturbing shape.
• Upon a successful critical hit, this weapon inflicts 1 point of Charisma damage upon the struck opponent. Extensive magical research was needed to apply the Keen ability to a bludgeoning weapon.
• +1 Keen greatclub.
• Faint necromancy; CL 10th, Craft Magic Arms & Armor, inflict minor wounds; price 12,305gp; cost 6,305gp + 240XP.

[KaganMonk]

The art to making such a marvelous and funny item must have been long lost to time. It is surely a minor artifact, else there would me many fools running around with them, and far more ugly people in the world.

[Kiren]

I hope that no one ever applies returning to to the ugly stick.

[Stormthorn]

On the other hand, we now know what happens when someone falls out of the ugly tree and hits every branch on the way down.

You drop to zero charisma and fall into a comatose state where you die from your injuries suffered while falling off the tree. Not a pretty (zing!) way to go.