[Heroic Fantasy RPG] Incomplete Draft Release

[Juggernaut1981]

I've mentioned other times around here that I have been working on a RPG system of my own. Very d20 influenced, since I think that core system had a large number of very good ideas. Much of the D&D 3.5 system has been fairly heavily restructured, but a large number of elements are still incomplete. Thematically, it is there. I am still not sure if I should push the entire system across 30 levels or 20 levels... this decision is mostly around trying to ensure that Magic Users don't crap all over Fighters like they do in D&D3.5... it's currently 110,000 words and counting.

At any rate... here is the link where you can download the PDF for free. It is currently 153 pages long with no artwork. For the artsy amongst the community, I'd be more than happy to get given artwork if things in my text inspire you... there would be full credit for artists who provided artwork.

Please send any comments you have to PM, those of you who seem to be providing the most constructive critical feedback I will probably give you my email address so you can send larger more detailed critiques.

Thanks in advance for those of you who either download and/or give feedback.

EDITS: Link above has been changed. Download should now work.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

When I open the PDF, it says it's locked; what's the password to read it?

[Juggernaut1981]

I haven't set up a Password on it. That seems very wierd. I will investigate.

EDIT: It appears that my Work-based PDF-maker does wierd things, but my personal PDF-maker doesn't. So hooray for awesome laptops.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

I did an initial read-through, and overall it looks quite good. The main critiques I have at the moment:

1) You really need to switch the Character Attributes and Building your Hero sections. With the changes in terminology between this system and 3e, the abbreviations in Building your Hero get a bit confusing without seeing Character Attributes first.

2) At times it seems you're changing things for the sake of changing things. Is there a reason to go for Effective Spellcaster Level and ESL when caster level and CL are more familiar (and shorter)? Is Lie really as accurate or versatile as Bluff? There's not necessarily anything wrong with this, but as I'm reading this I keep thinking "Oh, so X is exactly the same as Y in 3e, except the name is different," and these little changes obscure the big-picture changes everyone switching to this system would want to know.

Other than that, as I said it looks great on first inspection. I'll give it a more thorough look when finals week finishes up.

[Juggernaut1981]

In general there is a deliberate effort on my part to distance things between 3E and this even when similar results/functions are occuring. I don't want people to read this and think "This is variation 3E". This is particularly the case with really wierd and badly described ideas in 3E such as HPs, some of the skills and "alignments".

Biggest Changes: Point-based magic, Skills drive Feats and Feats are not "auto-succeed/use", spells are/will be "pulled back", significant structural elements of d20 Modern-format.

RE: Lie Skill
Feats now drive off Skills. Part of the things I wanted to do was expand the role of skills and also try to get some things about 3E that bugged me cleared up or scrubbed out. Bluff skill was one that was always a bit "wierd". You didn't need to bluff to not tell the truth, but you did need to bluff for a white lie?? So now the entire point of this skill is that it will need to be used whenever you are attempting to not speak the truth.
You want to "omit" the truth? Make a Lie check.
You want to decieve someone about your actions? Make a Lie check.
And so on...

I potentially will need to change some of the text to make it less conversation based after re-reading it just then.

RE: ESL
ESL is a construct that is supposed to hold a similar rols as CL but to also be tied directly to an ability (Intellect, Wisdom or Charisma). This is to also basically hinge things such as a Paladin as a "Priest who fights more" or when you have 4 different classes giving you spellcasting based on Wisdom (for example) they stack for calculating effects/durations/ranges/etc.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

In general there is a deliberate effort on my part to distance things between 3E and this even when similar results/functions are occuring. I don't want people to read this and think "This is variation 3E". This is particularly the case with really wierd and badly described ideas in 3E such as HPs, some of the skills and "alignments".

And that's fine to go for that; I just wanted to make sure you knew that was the impression you were giving.

RE: Lie Skill

[...]

RE: ESL

I didn't have any problems understanding how those worked, I was just using those as examples of things that sound very similar but use a different term.

[Maerok]

Class-wise, it looks more like d20 Modern than DnD.

Looks good. When did you start? And if you ever need a playtest...

[Juggernaut1981]

Started the very first draft in about August last year. Got a chance to interact with the d20Mod system and saw a bunch of potential improvements and most of those from Class Structuring.

Most of my writing is done on the train two-and-from work... it also hasn't been constant work as there have been months where I have written nothing at all and then come back to write heaps in a very short space of time.

There are whole sections I'm not releasing yet as well, like a book of Monsters and possibly more detailed Planar stuff. If/when I get around to writing a "DMG" for this system I will be planning for it to be less of a "source of rules/text" (the Players can have that) but instead a "This is how to build a world/campaign/city/etc" or "You want a new monster to do XYZ, here are the tools to build it and build it balanced". It would all be about giving GM/DMs the tools they need to get the ideas in their head into the games without grinding through complex rules/formulas etc.

Although other people may find them complex because I do have a strong Mathematics background.