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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    CeliaxGender flipped Celia

    ...

    Not touching that one.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  2. - Top - End - #32

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by EvilDMMk3 View Post
    CeliaxGender flipped Celia

    ...

    Not touching that one.
    Wimp!

    I got MiTDxEntitre Hobgoblin Army One-Sided.

    Woah. The new table IS way better than mine.

    Spoiler
    Show

    "C'mon, it's time for some exercise." The hobgoblin said, tossing the umbrella into the cage. "Tell me when you've got it working."
    "It's kind of hard to tell when I'm in the darkness..." The hobgoblin rolled his eyes and opened the cage.
    "Only stick the umbrella out, Redcloak don't want you to be revealed to ANYBODY. Yet." He chuckled slightly at his addendum as the Monster in the Dark stuck the umbrella out of the cage. It cast a magical shadow on the ground, and it stepped out of the cage, careful to remain under the shadow. It knew that it'd be punished if anybody saw its true form. 'Yet.'
    "Okay, where are we going for the exercise?" It asked as it closed the cage behind it.
    "We're just going for a walk, that's all. You'll be back soon, and you'll probably enjoy it... I know I will..."
    "Ok then, goodbye Mr. Stiffy!" it called to his friend, in a separate cage, waving at him, despite the fact that he couldn't see. O-Chul sighed.
    "Goodbye Monster-san, be safe," he said, waving back.
    It was a short walk, the hobgoblin lead the monster into the courtyard, and stopped, before pulling out a conch shell and blowing on it.
    "What was that for?" the monster asked.
    "Just the signal," the hobgoblin smirked back in reply. Several more hobgoblins came into the courtyard, and began surrounding the pair.
    "What signal?" the Monster asked, confused. He hadn't been told of anything out-of -the-ordinary.
    "You'll see..." Slowly, more hobgoblins filed into the courtyard, continuing to surround them until there were several hundred, and escape would be impossible (or so they assumed).
    "W-what's going on?"
    "Can't you tell, Monster? We love you! We all do! And... we... lust for you as well..." the original hobgoblin said as he slowly walked towards the darkness.
    "W-what?! No! No! Stop!"


    I think I did pretty good.
    I don't get it, what happened Mr. Stiffy?
    O-Chul: I'll tell you when you're older, Monster-san.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-05-17 at 07:26 AM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    TSED's Avatar

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    Sep 2007

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Julia Greenhilt X The Chimera
    IN THE AFTERLIFE


    ...

    ...

    I don't want to, I really don't want to, but I am bored enough to do this. :(

    Spoiler
    Show

    "Well, that like, sucked. I guess I should've realized that being chaotic wouldn't lend well to judging blast radiuses." Julia stood up and dusted herself off. At least her hair was back in the afterlife.

    "Huh? Who're you? You're not on our files."
    "Oh, uh, Julia Greenhilt. I kind of betrayed my family in a climatic battle with a major villain, and, like, ended up getting caught in an area of effect spell and dying anyways. It like, sucked, and it like, sucks that I am going to like, burn forever and didn't even get like, an extra minute out of it."

    "I see. Oh, yes, your file's being transferred over right now actually. Have a seat in the waiting room."

    "Waiting room? That doesn't seem terribly 'chaotic.'

    "Well, I'm actually a subcontractor. Anyways, there's a huge line and frankly, you couldn't take on these souls anyways. I'd suggest going and sitting down before you get eaten."

    Lousy good for nothing outsourced customer services. He was like, totally cute though. Mmm, he sure said that last word sexily.


    Yeah, nevermind. I still have my pride. You're not getting any more than that.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Cracklord's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Somebody stop me!
    OK, (1,20,9)(3,19,2,17)(13)
    That gives me a gender swiitched Nale, the shadow dancer and the Soulsplice. And a french maid costume.

    Spoiler
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    Kaboom Redaxe adjusted his kilt, and sorted out the tangles in his beard. "I'll be going to get me some booty. The king should be here soon."
    The shadowdancer waved his hand airily. "I know, I know." He watched his partner leave, something like jealousy in his eyes. He envied Redaxe and his promiscuous ways, the way he was always so easy around girls. He was always shy, and when he forced part that he managed to be a friend, or, at best, like a brother. Well, he was tired of it. He may be living with the most unoptimized build imaginable, but that didn't mean he had to be mediocre in everything. He resolved to ask out the next girl he met, and then, well he'd see.
    There was a knock on the door, opening it he beheld a vision of loveliness. A petite, demure women, classically beautiful and garbed in a tight fitting maid costume that showed of her curves to best effect. Her long blond hair framed he heart-shaped face like the halo of a saint, and the dress clung to her long legs, the generous portion barely constraining the swell of her breast, opening his mouth he gave out a small yelp and slammed the door closed. Looked like he would be alone after all. It was for the best, he decided. No matter how pretty she looked, girls do not have facial hair.
    Kill them all, whispered Hatera in Nalette's ear. Make them suffer, concurred Jephton enthusiastically. Only Ganaron was silent. He had been in simmilar position most of his life, before he built is multi-dimensional empire. Beside, the kid looked kind of hot.


    There, nothing actually happened, but that's probably for the best.
    Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-05-17 at 06:50 AM.
    Nadir We,
    Youth Born,
    Blood Letters,
    Axe Weilders,
    Victors Still.

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    So.. many... questions....
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  6. - Top - End - #36

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I edited in my MitDxHobgoblin Army fic. I think I may be a bit short of the WHOLE army, but... eh...
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Blackbird's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    *reads thread*

    HEAD EXPLODES!!!!!!

    Wow these are freaken hilarious, I might try one sometime.
    Spoiler
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    Left-Eye by NamonakiRei
    Stick swordsman of the Kyrie fanclub!
    My bro's homebrew class.

    How to: Glibness

    Spoiler
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  8. - Top - End - #38

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by EvilDMMk3 View Post
    CeliaxGender flipped Celia

    ...

    Not touching that one.
    You know... I'm gonna try it!

    Spoiler
    Show

    After giving Roy the trinket thing, before discovering he's dead.
    Celia is sitting at a table, talking with her friends and eating lunch, when a male sylph walks up.
    Male Sylph: Hi there, I'm Celio.
    Celia: Hey, I'm Celia.
    Celio: Want to go have sex?
    Celia: Well... I'm already in a committed relationship... so okay!


    That was a fun waste of 10 seconds.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  9. - Top - End - #39
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    CapedLuigiYoshi's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I got:

    Male Sarah Greenhilt x Female Zz'dtri x IFCC
    Plot Device: Stuck on a desert island

    Anyone wanna do this?

    Edit: Nice.
    Last edited by CapedLuigiYoshi; 2009-05-17 at 12:42 PM.
    Pseudo-Luigi of the Solt Lorkyurg Fanclub.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgeo View Post
    So Vaarsuvius is an Epic Whatsit now. "Whatsit". I think I like that term.

  10. - Top - End - #40
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Ooh! Me, me!

    Spoiler
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    "Come on, it could be worse!"
    "No."
    The drow crossed his arms across his chest and pointedly turned away from the previously female human. Why couldn't they just ask for his soul and be done with it?

    "I'm afraid, Mrs-" "Mr." "...Greenhilt, unless Mr.Zz'dtri also participates, the deal is off." "So you'll just have to pursuade him. Take all the time you want." The three cloaked figures stood patiently, unmoved.

    Sarah Greenhilt sighed and walked over to the drow, who was unsuccessfully trying to cast a spell.
    "Look" He said "your magic obviously isn't working and this is the only was off this damn rock. Stop being a wimp and put the belt on!"
    "But-"
    "Just do it!"

    The three Fiends watched the exchange with some amusement. True, neither mortal seemed to know anything about the gates, and the circumstances that had led to them being trapped so were suspicious. But, they though as the disgruntled drow finally moved to put on the belt, maybe this trip to the mortal plane wouldn't be a waste after all.
    Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-05-17 at 01:23 PM.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  11. - Top - End - #41
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Used the roller on the Wizard's site
    Roll(2d20)+0:
    6,7,+0

    Elan & Nale?

    that isnt a crack pairing at all!

    Used the other table

    Hinjo & Sarah Greenhil...Snowed in

    much better..hmm
    Last edited by FatJose; 2009-05-17 at 01:14 PM.
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    Every few years, the yank moviegoing public is greeted with a movie that instantly earns the desirable tag of "One of the Scariest Movies Ever Made!" This designation accustomed be reserved for less than the foremost special of terror tales — psychotic, The Exorcist, Alien — however currently, it is a catch phrase combat, Saw, The Descent, Paranormal Activity, Insidious, Sinister — the list goes on. (But no Jack and Jill? What the hell?) -A Wise Adbot

  12. - Top - End - #42
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PId6's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Well this thread is trying as hard as possible to make me want to gouge out my own eyes. My turn to contribute!

    Sarah Greenhilt x the Hydra in the Afterlife

    Piece of cake!

    Spoiler
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    Sarah: So they just kept hitting you and hitting you?
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: And they just assumed you were Evil? They didn't even ask if you were a Chaotic Good hydra fighting against the oppression of your Evil brethren?
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: Oh, you poor thing! Let me hold you.
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: You have so many heads, it's so hard to pick one to comfort...
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: Hey, are heads the only part of you that can multiply?
    Hydra: Grrr?!
    Sarah: Let me just test it a little. Don't worry, this is Celestia! This won't hurt a bit...
    Hydra: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

    Yeah... I think that's about enough.

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Blackbird's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by PId6 View Post
    Well this thread is trying as hard as possible to make me want to gouge out my own eyes. My turn to contribute!

    Sarah Greenhilt x the Hydra in the Afterlife

    Piece of cake!

    Spoiler
    Show
    Sarah: So they just kept hitting you and hitting you?
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: And they just assumed you were Evil? They didn't even ask if you were a Chaotic Good hydra fighting against the oppression of your Evil brethren?
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: Oh, you poor thing! Let me hold you.
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: You have so many heads, it's so hard to pick one to comfort...
    Hydra: Grrr.
    Sarah: Hey, are heads the only part of you that can multiply?
    Hydra: Grrr?!
    Sarah: Let me just test it a little. Don't worry, this is Celestia! This won't hurt a bit...
    Hydra: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

    Yeah... I think that's about enough.
    Yay filler text
    Spoiler
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    Left-Eye by NamonakiRei
    Stick swordsman of the Kyrie fanclub!
    My bro's homebrew class.

    How to: Glibness

    Spoiler
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  14. - Top - End - #44
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by CapedLuigiYoshi View Post
    I got:

    Male Sarah Greenhilt x Female Zz'dtri x IFCC
    Plot Device: Stuck on a desert island

    Anyone wanna do this?
    That's so crazy I'll have to try this:

    Spoiler
    Show
    "No, I was right, those things were not Belts of Flotation!" Sarah Greenhilt exclaimed. "I totally should not have believed you."

    "Still, it was worth trying," said the dark elf clinging to the piece of driftwood next to the formerly-female Greenhilt family member. Secretly Zz'dtri appreciated her new, ample breasts that made her so much more buoyant than before, even if the feeling did not actually give any rules benefit. Sarah no longer had such an advantage, and her bulkier muscles did nothing to actually increase her strength score.

    Still, Zz'dtri could not help but appreciate Sarah's lean, sculpted build, so handsome, so male, so... What's happening to me? Zz'dtri's chain of thoughts stopped with a shudder. Am I turning gay? They had been drifting for hours now. If full effect of the Belts of Masculinity/Femininity was not limited to just the immediate transformation...

    Really, everything had started to go strange when that thing called "the Snarl", whatever it was, had got itself loose and eaten a lot of holes to the fabric of the planes themselves. Good and evil afterlives getting mixed up, earthquakes, tsunamis, the living and the dead ending up dumped randomly here and there, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria...

    "Look, an island," Sarah interrupted his train of thoughts. "Let's guide this driftwood there." Zz'dtri paddled against the current with all her might.

    *

    The island was small and deserted indeed. Zz'dtri had walked around it in a half an hour and found no signs of other people. The weather was great, though, and there was a small spring that provided fresh water. As for the food, Zz'dtri had found out that coconuts crack open handily when one can cast Magic Missile.

    The unlikely pair relaxed on the beach as the sun set below the ocean. Here, far from everything, it was hard to believe that the universe was in the process of ending. Cocooned in his calm, Zz'dtri was surprised when Sarah's lips sought her own. She did not resist, though, and allowed herself to be embraced by the god-like young human man. She would just try to have to forget that the beautiful youth was actually an old woman. On Sarah's strong arms that turned out to be easy.

    "We might be the last people in the entire world," she murmured. "Let nothing stop us from having this beautiful moment before our souls die."

    "Ahem," someone said behind them. The lovers turned around to see three tall beings clad in robes the color of dried blood. No faces were visible, but three pairs of eyes shone from below the hoods. One pair gleamed yellow, one purple, and one orange.

    "You know, the destruction of your souls is a matter that is far from certain," the yellow-eyed being said.

    "We have come here to discuss about it..." the one with purple eyes said.

    "To offer a trade," concluded the one with orange eyes. "We are the Inter-Fiend Cooperation Commission." The three fiends each tried to produce a business card from some dimensional storage, but without success.

    "Heaven, the Snarl had to go and eat those too," the purple-eyed fiend complained to the others. "We're going to have to make a new batch when this temporary matter is solved."

    "Please don't use language like that here," the yellow eyes fiend said.

    "Anyway," said the orange-eyed fiend. "You are Sarah Greenhilt, the currently-male mother of one Roy Greenhilt, who is centrally involved in this mess." Sarah peered at the fiend suspiciously.

    "And you, the other one, are a mid-level wizard who just happens to be in the universe's top ten list of remaining arcane power, when so many of your competitors have gotten themselves eaten," concluded the fiend with yellow eyes.

    "We just need a little help," said the purple-eyed fiend.

    "I won't sell my soul or anything like that, and in any case I don't trust you worth anything, so please go away," Sarah announced.

    "No, no, no," the fiends all said in a chorus.

    "We don't want the world to be destroyed."

    "We like the world."

    "The Snarl on the loose will destroy us all, no matter the alignment."

    "We have to let such piddling issues be beneath us for the moment."

    "So, what do you want from us?" Zz'dtri said.

    "We still have a little while before they get to the gate," said the orange-eyed fiend. "You know what, we'll help you save the world for free just this once, tell you how, planeshift you to the right place, everything. We'd just like you do a little something for us in the meanwhile."

    "The world is ending," the yellow one said.

    "We cannot be certain of our success," the orange one said.

    "We would not like to die virgins," the purple one said, strangely wistful. Zz'dtri had never before known that fiends could be wistful.


    Let your imagination take care of the rest, if you dare.

    EDIT - Oh, this turns out to have been a popular subject. So, now there are MULTIPLE fanfics about this crack pairing.
    Last edited by Nerdanel; 2009-05-17 at 01:28 PM.

  15. - Top - End - #45
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Zanaril's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Yours is better than mine. I don't mind at all.
    This post may contain sarcasm.
    DeviantArt

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    roy_greenhilt's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Wow.

    RedcloakxMiko

    TsukikoxXykon

    MITDxKazumi


    HaleyxCelia
    HAWT!
    I'm a:
    Neutral Good Human Bard/Sorcerer (1st/1st Level)
    Ability Scores:
    Strength- 10
    Dexterity- 12
    Constitution- 10
    Intelligence- 14
    Wisdom- 14
    Charisma- 11
    What are you?
    --------
    Threeshades is the best avy maker EVA!

  17. - Top - End - #47
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Okay, I'm gonna try... I hope I got this right *Rolls*
    (3,1) Heavyweight-initial
    (10)The Snarl
    (1) Roy
    Plot device: (15)High heels and black leather

    ...

    Spoiler
    Show

    He never thought he'd be doing this. How did they convince him? How could they do this to him?
    The bald man walked toward the huge rift on the sky, until he was right underneath. He looked very uncomfortable on the tight black leather outfit, and heels that matched. He was no female, and he tripped upon reaching his destination. Then, he saw something strange. The rift seemed to have acknowledged his prescence. Something came toward him. Closing his eyes, he prepared for the worst.
    Nothing happened. He heard a scream. He was about to open his eyes, when he felt something surrounding him. It was a strong claw, gently lifting him from the ground. He knew this was going to happen.
    "Roy!" He heard his friends screm. And then, suddenly, he was gone to them.

    As he woke up, herealized that he was surrounded by claws. Pulsating threads were all around. He blushed, his heart was beating faster. But... just why?
    Then he saw them. Beautiful red eyes, made of raw reality material, looking into his. He could feel his temperature rising. He felt the outfit tighter at each second.
    Then the Snarl reached toward him.
    Warning: NSFW-ish, lime. Absolutley Lime.
    Spoiler
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    Before he knew, the leather jacket was gone. So the snarl, the deicidal abhomination, was about to unmake him, part by part? Or...
    He gasped as the snarl's claws got nearer to him. To his surprise, the tangle was soft.
    "You... are not going to kill me, right?" Asked Roy, letting his weight onto the Snarl's claw beside him. The snarl growled. But it sounded more like... a purr?
    The heels were gone in a pinch. Roy felt his feet wonderfully light after wearing those horrible things. A bunch of threads, forming roughly a body, got near to him, pressing against him. He looked in the red eyes. The red eyes looked into his. Suddenly, Roy knew what the Snarl wanted. And he was oh-so-willing to give it.
    The claws reshaped, now like hands, and reached for his pants as he surrendered hiself to the feelings they provoked in him...



    Oh... oh gods, I hadn't written a lime in years! The scariest is that it was actually fun...

    I'll roll again!

    (2,2) Pathetic table-pathetic table
    (2) Sarah greenhilt
    (19) Roll again on lightweight (9) O-Chul

    Oh come on! that one is decent! Let's see if the plot device helps a little...
    (11) Pregnancy... Okay, let's see...

    Spoiler
    Show

    "So, Mrs. Grenhilt. I believe I had the pleasure of working with your son, back there" Saluted the Azurite.
    "Really?" Said Sarah, welcoming the man into her house. Seemingly his parents weren't home, so he had wandered off around Celestia until he found her. "I hope he behaved. He can be a meanie sometimes, but he has a heart of gold"
    "I do think so" Said O-Chul "He made really good deeds. Unfortunatley, I didn't really get to know him, but his heroic actions speak for him"
    "Aww, that's good. But you know I didn't invite you to my house for talking about Roy, right?" she changed her tone to a more sensual tone "I have a proposition for you" She whispered in his ear. He felt a chill come down his spine. He hadn't done this in so long...

    And three months later he got a letter to his parent's residence. He jumped on his seat.
    "Oh, by the twelve gods!" He exclaimed
    "I didn't know either" Said a female voice from behind him "I didn't know I could get pregnant in celestia"


    I... am scaring myself. I want to do this again...

    (1, 3) Just like my first roll...
    (20) Genderbent (8) Miko
    (16) ... the oracle...
    (13) ... french maid costume...
    Okay, let's get going, then!
    Spoiler
    Show

    "Arghh!" Exclaimed the young paladin. "I can't get this cursed belt off!"
    "Sorry, Miko, I tried to warn you" Said Roy "But, you know, there's an oracle in the Sunken valley, maybe you can... just... go there, and ask him how can you take the belt off?"
    "Very well, Greenhilt. Durkon, please see that nobody tries to escape during my absence"
    "Aye, lass. I'll try ta." Said Durkon, thinking that as soon as Miko was gone, the rest of the group wold run away no matter what he said.

    Miko set off. When he arrived to the sinken valley, he found that there were no tests. He wondered what was going on. He entered the tower, it was completley dark. He found a staircase, and climbed it. Maybe this was a test?
    "Hello, Miko" He heard a male voice "You wonder why are there no tests outside. It's because I decided to get all three tests together in one"
    Miko looked around for the source of the voice.
    "Who are you? Where are you?"
    A light turned on. He was in a small room, only with a bed. Right in front of him, there was a male Kobold, with a French maid outfit, and a duster on the floor.
    "So..." Miko suddenly felt the hormones inside his new male body boil. How was this happening? The kobold closed the door, and sensually walked toward him. That was it.
    LEMON-ISH, NSFW-ish... okay, NSFW content ahead!
    Spoiler
    Show

    Miko threw the kobold on the bed
    "You are the oracle, right? You knew this was going to happen" He said, between kisses
    "Y-yes..." Said the oracle. His skin felt delicious undermeath Miko's. The clothes were part of the past now. The passion that now ran through their veins took control. They were made for this moment. The belt was a bother to Miko, but a small one. It was useful for the oracle to get a hold while they became one...



    ... this stupid dice wants me to get again into the Yaoi industry. This is just fun...

    So thast was the last one. I don't want to get into straigt forward Yaoi-lemon territory.

    But, it was fun. How did I do?
    An eye for an eye will make us all blind - Mahatma Ghandi.
    Technically, Fire is a chemical process, wherein Oxygen, a fuel, and heat trigger a quick, heat-releasing oxidative reaction that produces carbon dioxide and water vapor. This process is called Combustion. They're not called Combustionals, you know?
    Also Water is a molecule, Air is a bunch of different molecules, and don't let me get started on Earth.
    (Sorry, I'm a Chemist, can't resist.)

  18. - Top - End - #48

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I think we can officially declare Sarah Greenhilt x Drow whose name I can't for the life of me spell and official crack pairing!

    This is victory.

    EDIT: NamonakiRei wins a full cake. Magical cake that changes flavors.
    Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-05-17 at 01:41 PM.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    CapedLuigiYoshi's Avatar

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    Male2Female

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddle View Post
    I think we can officially declare Sarah Greenhilt x Drow whose name I can't for the life of me spell and official crack pairing!

    This is victory.

    EDIT: NamonakiRei wins a full cake. Magical cake that changes flavors.
    I call credit for starting it!
    Pseudo-Luigi of the Solt Lorkyurg Fanclub.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgeo View Post
    So Vaarsuvius is an Epic Whatsit now. "Whatsit". I think I like that term.

  20. - Top - End - #50
    Firbolg in the Playground
    Join Date
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    where the wind blows

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    This thread singlehandedly justify the existance of this subforum. We need to spread the love.
    You got Magic Mech in My Police Procedural!
    In this forum, Gaming is Serious Business, and Anyone Can Die. Not even your status as the Ensemble Darkhorse can guarantee your survival.

    Disciple of GITP Trope-Fu Temple And Captain of GITP Valkyrie Squadron.
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    The OTP in the playground.
    Awesome Elizabeth Shelley by Hollamer
    My Gallery/My Star Wolves 3 LP

  21. - Top - End - #51

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by CapedLuigiYoshi View Post
    I call credit for starting it!
    You get an extra cookie.

    Too bad there's not more Erfworld characters, we could do one for them too. Or a Erfworld table for crossovers.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  22. - Top - End - #52
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I rolled on the first table and got Roy/Elan.

    Which, coincidentally, I already have a picture of:
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  23. - Top - End - #53

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Oooh, art. That's awesome.

    Art is worth extra too now.
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  24. - Top - End - #54
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Aug 2007
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    Germany
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Warning: The following fanfics are intentionally horrible. Not really NSFW though.


    Cliffport chiefxNale, Plot Device: Police Uniform

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    Together they were sitting there, watching the sunset. Everything went according to plan. The chief couldn't help chuckling a little.
    "What's are you thinking about?" asked Nale. "Oh, I'm just looking forward to tomorrow. That Order of the Stick won't know what hit 'em." "They won't be alone." "I guess so. I hope it's worth the effort, though. You can't imagine through how many loops I had to hop to get the mayor to pass the law that prohibits the use of alignment-detecting spells and abilities." " I can assure you, that we appreciate your work. Trust me, your price will be worth it."

    They sat there a little longer, honoring the moment. Suddenly, Nale laid his head on the chief's shoulder, whispering into his ear: "You know, I could give you a taste of what awaits you when this is all over." "Are - aren't you in relationship with Sabine?" "It's okay, I asked her and her only prerequisite is that she gets to watch the action." "Oh, you're a bad boy, Nale. I believe I have to arrest you now."

    They went into the bedroom, where Sabine was already waiting in an armchair, giggling full of expectation...

    I leave the rest to your fantasy



    Bandit KingxRedcloak in a love/hate relationship

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    "The prisoner has been taken to the torture chamber, just as you commanded, Supreme Leader." Redcloak could almost taste the obeisance in the hobgoblins voice. "Very good. You are dismissed, soldier."

    When the goblin entered the dungeon, the Bandit King waited for him, chained down on the rack. He examined Redcloak with a look that was a mixture of of fear, fury and desire.
    "Why have you come back?", asked the cleric. "To get vengeance for Samantha." "And...?" "To see you again." "I thought so."
    The Bandit King paused for a short time, before speaking again: "I love you, Redcloak. But at the same time, I really want to kill you. You have taken my daughter from me. Not even a week after the two of us had been raised."
    "You are a fool if you think that you had any chance to kill me. And you have lost the last bit of your mind, if you think that I would ever love you back. I hate humans. I only did, what I did back then because I thought it would embarrass you."
    "You probably did. But I know that in that moment of magic you felt like I did. You're just hiding behind your duty now, so you don't have to face your true feelings."
    "I have already sacrificed everything I loved for the future of my people. Don't expect that I will spare you, should I find you to be a nuisance in the future. But for now... let's see if we can replicate that "moment of magic", shouldn't we?"

  25. - Top - End - #55
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Well, the first one was okay... but the second one... it's for fanfics like that that I stopped writing (and reading) yaoi...
    An eye for an eye will make us all blind - Mahatma Ghandi.
    Technically, Fire is a chemical process, wherein Oxygen, a fuel, and heat trigger a quick, heat-releasing oxidative reaction that produces carbon dioxide and water vapor. This process is called Combustion. They're not called Combustionals, you know?
    Also Water is a molecule, Air is a bunch of different molecules, and don't let me get started on Earth.
    (Sorry, I'm a Chemist, can't resist.)

  26. - Top - End - #56
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Dogmantra's Avatar

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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Redcloak & MitD

    Daigo & Roy

    Roy & Durkon

    Durkon, Gender Bent Roy & Gender Bent Elan

    Celia & Belkar

    Haylee & Bellcar

    I'm going to have to start writing fanfics
    Last edited by Dogmantra; 2009-05-17 at 03:30 PM.
    BANG → !
    OH LOOK AT HER/.../YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN/YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN/YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN MEAN/RICHARDS

  27. - Top - End - #57
    Halfling in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2009

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I actually signed up just so I could join your sick little games.

    3:1 - 2:14 - 12

    Which gives... Soon Kim and Jirix with pink frills and white lace.
    Hmm...

    Spoiler
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    Soon Kim, now in the afterlife but unwilling to let Azure City go, can't help himself but spend time scrying on the city. He follows the plight of the resistance closely, rooting for their small victories and cries with them for each setback.
    Of course, being dead, there's precious little he can do but watch.

    Turns out he has some impressive experience in watching, all that being bound to the portal and such after his death.
    From his vantage point in the throne room he has seen quite a lot, but mostly boring paladin politics and more recently the antics of a seemingly senile ruler and his cat.
    Now, no longer restricted to a single room, Soon Kim discoveres he has aquired a taste for watching.
    Though he is loath to admit it, he's simply become a Peeping Tom, a vouyer spying on his own people.

    Needlessly to say, this situation makes him immensly frustrated. Being able to see all that takes place in Azure City, but unable to do anything about it takes it's toll.
    Of course, he can always try to take his mind of things by visiting Roy's mum, but he just can't help himself. Time and time again he returns to Azure City, most of the time just by scrying, other times by visiting as a ghost.

    In the early days after the collapse of the city, Soon Kim tried using his ghost form to contact the resistance. As a ghost he could have offered valuable intelligence on the hobgoblin army and such.
    But, as Roy has discovered before him, it's suprisingly difficult for the dead to contact the living if there's no Blood Oath involved.
    So far Soon Kim has only managed to make the azurite's "#1 psychic" vaguely uncomfortable and giving himself a strong feeling of impotency.

    So, dispirited (metaphorically) and full of pent up frustration, he keep watching Azure City (with a certain partiality for the female resistance members sleeping quarters).

    ...

    Ok, the premise for the rest of the story is that Jirix is becoming a nervous wreck from being around Xykon and Tsukiko. And the added burden assosciated with being Redcloak's whipping boy doesn't help either (Redcloak treats the poor hob as a clerk, not a cleric).
    By virtue of being one of the highest level clerics left, Jirix had his own rooms in the palace.
    In a closet he finds some rather intriguing pieces of lingerie in white lace with pink frills.

    Jirix, stressed out and close to snapping, finds this completely alien clothing strangely soothing. As a hobgoblin he should be repulsed by such frivolous and decadent human things.
    Attracted by a powerfull double taboo (crossdressing, and in human lingerie to boot), Jirix finds solace in these garments.

    Now, enter the our vouyeristic ghost, Soon Kim. Jirix, a high level cleric, turns out to be a bit better at sensing the dead than the aforementioned "#1 psychic". He can feel a strong presence, which in turn triggers his latent exhibitionic tendensies.
    Soon Kim is at first repulsed by the crossdressing hobgoblin, but...

    The details are a bit hazy, but it all ends up with Jirix covered in ectoplasma.



    Scary how fun this was.
    You guys should be gratefull that my English is so rusty, or I might've been tempted to write out a full story, not just a summary.

  28. - Top - End - #58
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    CapedLuigiYoshi's Avatar

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    Feb 2009
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    I just did some heavy rolling, so here goes:

    Yokyok x Chimera (True love/Not PG)
    Not enough of a stretch, actually.

    MitD x Bozzok (American high school)
    Meh.

    Crystal x Argent (Adultery/Pregnancy)
    Conversely, I'm not touching this "with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot poooooole!"

    Mr. Rodrigez x Miko (American high school)
    ...What? They're both Lawful Stupid, it's completely tame!

    Chief of Police x Durkon w/ Thor's Might (Snowed in)
    Um, okaaay...

    Lien x Deemun Roches (Aliens made them do it)
    Okay, this make a good crack pair. Still, just because...

    Thog x Female Zz'dtri x Hilgya (Snowed in/True love)
    Wow, three dual plot devices in only seven rolls? And the return of Female Zz'dtri! Someone do a fanfic on this!

    Feel free to write for any or all of these.
    Pseudo-Luigi of the Solt Lorkyurg Fanclub.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sgeo View Post
    So Vaarsuvius is an Epic Whatsit now. "Whatsit". I think I like that term.

  29. - Top - End - #59

    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by CapedLuigiYoshi View Post
    Crystal x Argent (Adultery/Pregnancy)
    Conversely, I'm not touching this "with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot poooooole!"

    Feel free to write for any or all of these.
    I take this as a challenge, expect the results in a bit.

    Also, to lindorm, I feel so happy that I convinced somebody to join the forums. It makes my life have purpose. =D
    It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.

    If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).

    The best answer is always to ask your DM.
    Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.

  30. - Top - End - #60
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    The Blackbird's Avatar

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    Nebraska, USA
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    Default Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table

    Quote Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddle View Post
    I take this as a challenge, expect the results in a bit.
    The gods help us all.
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    Left-Eye by NamonakiRei
    Stick swordsman of the Kyrie fanclub!
    My bro's homebrew class.

    How to: Glibness

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