A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
You can get A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2 now at Gumroad
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Review template

  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Thistle's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Gender
    Male

    Default Review template

    I just kinda had this idea and threw it together. Views welcome.

    Thorn Guardian

    Jesen lay sleeping in his bedroll, next to the campfire. It had been a long hike to the mountain meadow and there was still a days travel to the cave entrance, according to the map. He was awoken by a sharp pain on his cheek, only to find hisself entangled in roots and weeds.
    Kneeling next to him was a woman with what looked like spines piercing her skin. Jesen could feel the blood on his face.
    "Who are you and what do you want?" he demanded.
    She pointed to the circle of stones with the embers of his fire. "There was a clover patch there. And you burned it." She turned back and ran a finger along his other cheek. "I am the one to make you pay the price."

    Thorn Guardians are viscious protectors of nature and beauty. Break a thread of spider silk from a web and they will attack. Tread on a flower and they will mercilessly slaughter you and your companions. Cut down a tree for fire wood and they will ravage you,those you love and the village you're from. And then scatter the gore for fertilizer.

    Thorn Guardian is an aquired template that can be added to any animal, dragon, fey, giant, humanoid, magical beast, monstrous humanoid, or vermin.

    Size and Type Size remains the same. Type changes to fey. Do not recalculate Hit Die, base attack, saves, or skills.

    Speed Speed remains the same

    Armor Class Natural Armor increases by +2. This stacks with any natural armor the base creature has.

    Attack A thorn guardian has thorns growing out of their bodies. They are considered to be wearing armor spikes when grappling. They also gain a slam attack. Damage depends on size (1d2 Tiny, 1d3 Small, 1d4 Medium, 1d6 Large, 1d8 Huge, 2d6 Gargantuam, 3d6 Colossal). Along with normal damage the thorns are treated as wounding. Creatures reduced to 0 Con become Thorn Guardians in one day.

    Spell-Like Abilities Entangle 3/day, Goodberry 1/day, Spike Growth 1/day, Plant Growth 1/week
    Caster level is equal to HD

    Special Qualities
    Trackless Step
    Woodland Stride
    DR 10/cold iron
    Speak with plants
    Rose bush dependent (where the thorn guardian raises a rose bush grows. They must remain within 300 yards or become ill and die in 1d4 days. At the end of the last day they become diabled. They then have an hour to get back inside the radius or die.)
    Roots (As a move action that provokes an AoO, a thorn guardian can gain stability and tremorsense 30ft. A thorn guardian must be touching the ground and cannot move more than 5ft per round while this ability is active. It is another move action that doesn't proke an AoO to retract the roots.)

    Abilities Str +4, Con +2, Wis +4, Cha +2 (Int is raised to at least 3)

    Alignment Always Evil

    Level Adjustment +3
    Check out Avatar

    Some of my creations Forgotten Golem, Lady of the Fallen

    Great avatar done by Thecrimsonmage

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location

    Default Re: Review template

    It sounds like their slam attack is supposed to drain constitution, by your statement that 'Creatures reduced to 0 Con become Thorn Guardians in 1 day'. You need to state this however.

    Given that 0 Con means you die, I suggest not Thorn Guardians but some type of plant-based zombie.

    You need to spell out how they are dependent on the rose bush and how the rose bush comes about.

    I'd say that putting down roots should be a move action that does not provoke AoO, just as retracting the roots does not.

    Otherwise, I'd actually suggest giving them a Con penalty, due to the damage inflicted as thorns sprout from them.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Jack Mann's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default Re: Review template

    He said their slam attack is wounding. Wounding does con damage.

    0 Con normally means you die. However, this is a special attack, essentially, which means that the normal rules don't necessarily apply.

    I wouldn't say that the thorns should give them a con penalty. After all, they're not really piercing their skin so much as they're growing out of their skin.

    I like the idea of these evil fey. They remind me of Vorpal's spirit of the virgin lands.
    I am a poor man, some say Im half crazy,
    son of the sword and the knife
    Lady I pledge you my sword and my honor,
    my heart and my pride and my life
    --Bella Doa, by Joe Bethancourt
    Spoiler
    Show


    Alas, poor Draknir. By Mephibosheth

    Owl-atar by KingGolem
    You will be missed, dear 'stache...

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Thistle's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Review template

    As stated the thorns are wounding.

    The template is aquired by "dieing" for one day.

    For the bush, they need to be within 300 yds. If they leave they have 1d4 days to get back to the bush radius or die. At the end of the last day they die. I suppose I'll give them an hour to get back, since you bring it up.
    The bush just sprouts from the ground below them when the become guardians. They would then probably cast plant growth on it.

    I pictured putting down and pulling out roots as like sheathing and drawing a weapon. I might change it if more people agree.


    I'll have to look up that spirit of the virgin land
    Check out Avatar

    Some of my creations Forgotten Golem, Lady of the Fallen

    Great avatar done by Thecrimsonmage

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Scorpina's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Paradise Island
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Review template

    This is very cool, and seems pretty balanced to me as well.

    *plots to steal it*
    I promise, we will find all your moms. And I'm gonna tell!.- Wonder Woman

    Avatar by FdL

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Thistle's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Review template

    Yeah, someone likes my work!

    Took a look at the spirit. :o That things a beast. A little more extreme than a guardian as well. It doesn't seem fond of any non-plant creature. (It would try to change the thorn guardian into a pile of vegetables and that probably wouldn't go over well.)
    I thought of the guardian to be more of an extreme evil dryad. That's why I gave them a longer time away from their bush, to take out loggers themselves. And the ability to "recruit" some to the cause.
    Plus any creature with spikes is pretty cool. ;)
    Check out Avatar

    Some of my creations Forgotten Golem, Lady of the Fallen

    Great avatar done by Thecrimsonmage

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •