"Random Transmutation" (D&D 3.5ed)

[TheCountAlucard]

So, I DMed a rather awesome D&D session earlier.

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I had actually been dreading it; I hadn't prepared anything in particular for that session (didn't think we'd be playing, you see), and worse yet, one of my players was bringing along two friends who were new to D&D but wanted to play (and thought that "D&D for Dummies" was too complicated! ).

However, once everyone had gotten there, we had a few sodas and started on character creation for the two newbies; the process probably took an hour or two. Eventually, we had a half-elf sorceress and her travelling companion, a halfling rogue, both second-level. The other players already had their characters, a third-level human healer, a third-level elven scout, and a fourth-level human warlock. The two groups eventually met and began travelling together.

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The party was heading along a rarely-traveled road in their wagon, when they came to a spot in which nature had retaken the road for about 300 yards or so. The group decides to do some work, the warlock using his Eldritch Blast to break up obstructions, the (16 STR ) halfling and sorcerer clearing away the rubble, while the scout led the horses to graze and the healer looked around for dropped possessions (found five rocks "that look perfect for slinging" and a rusty-but-still-useable bullseye lantern). After that, the party went ahead a little farther, and then decided to make camp.

The scout would take the first watch, while there was still enough light for her to see by, followed by the warlock (who can see perfectly well in darkness thanks to Devil's Sight).

In the middle of the night, the healer decided to go for a walk in the lightly-forested area nearby.

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He takes a rock, casts light on it, and loads it into the bullseye lantern, and begins walking around, "looking for stuff." I decide, eventually, he comes to a tree with a piece of parchment on it. The parchment has something written on it in Druidic (which he can't read), and when he casts detect magic, there's something behind the parchment that pings Conjuration. He decides to leave it alone and keeps looking around. He comes to a pool in which the water is pristine and crystal-clear. He again casts detect magic on the pool, and gets overwhelming transmutation.

I tell the player that his character would probably have heard rumors about magic pools such as these, and that their effects are very random, based on the type of magic inherent to the pool. The healer doesn't have any other bottles on him, so he quaffs one of his vials of antitoxin, and fills the empty vial with the magic water. He then chugs it, and I tell him that his armor and clothing have turned to solid gold. His powers as a healer fizzle, and he has to thrash his way out of his metallic prison (which he then puts in his backpack), but the player wants to give it another try. He fills another vial and gulps it down, and immediately grows massive butterfly wings.

After some OOC-joking involving the phrases, "You guys will never believe THIS!" and "Please don't fly," the healer decides to make some makeshift clothing out of nearby plants (we jokingly called it a "vine Speedo"), fill up the vial again, and go back to the camp. After some discussion with the warlock (and the half-elf hastily giving the healer her cloak), the healer and warlock head back to the pool, armed with the warlock's ten or so flasks. The warlock decides to experiment a little, and pours a few drops from one flask onto a pinch of some fiendish tobacco (don't ask). I tell him that after a few seconds, the tobacco stops smelling of brimstone and misery, and starts smelling like happiness and flowers; i.e., it's celestial now. After they're done filling up the flasks, the healer's beautiful (and not at all manly) butterfly wings crumble into dust.

So, tl;dr, the low-level party has eleven flasks of magic water that will produce a random transmutation effect on the imbiber.

Any suggestions?

[Frog Dragon]

Here's some

One that extends the imbiers hands temporarily, doubling reach
One that makes the imbier (and anything he wears/carries) light as a feather
One that makes a random itme grow wings and flap around the character
One that makes you and all you wear/carry transparent.

[Necrus Philius]

Since they're temporary have one just be a stoneskin followed by turning the next guy INTO stone. "Temporarily"

You can have a dr.jekyll/Mr.Hyde moment truning one into a frenzied berserker.

The good old gender change is a good stand by.

Having them change colours (if fighting a minotaur have the first one to down a potion turn red.).

Have them grow extra limbs (If legs increased movement but chance to trip, arms more attacks).

Temporary lichdom, followed by the next guy growing a single zit.

Turning into a cake and see if anybody eats him, pay attention to how too, if they sweallow a piece whole then they die after a few minutes too since a fully grown arm pops open their stomach, if they chew their safe.

If they pour it on a bow or weapon make it super cool like +5 bow of thunder +4 but cursed to cause blindness, or if melee have it constantly have a grease spell on it.

[Serpentine]

I've got some random Druid drift tables of you wanna roll up some random plant or animal aquisition, or pick some out.

[derfenrirwolv]

Gender change

age change 1d6 (1 baby 2 child 3 teenager 4 adventuring age 5 middle age 6 Geezer)

Species change Mammal (your life as a naked mole rat)

Species change Humanoid

Feet grow to enormous size

Turned into a golem

All hair falls out (ALL hair)

Character grows fur

Your charcter is turned into a 1/32nd miniature of himself.

character turns into a puddle of water (and is automatically defeated by a sponge)

Your characters vocal cords have turned into those of a nightingale.

Your grow tentacles

character becomes incredibly beautiful

charcter becomes incredibly ugly

worlds worst case of acne.

characters skin becomes invisible.

character behaves as if they're made out of rubber (+5 feet reach)

character halves density (+2 dex -2 con)

character doubles density (+2 con -2 dex)

character glows 1d6 R O Y G B V

symptoms persist for more than four hours. Call your priest or apothecary.

Everything you touch gets slightly damp. You make people want to take a shower.

You grow antler

You sprout leaves

You grow a tail

Your eyes turn bright red and glowing

[Kyouhen]

The person who drinks it is affected by Feather Fall and Reverse Gravity. For extra laughs make it permanent.

[OracleofWuffing]

Breath Weapon: Cone of Confetti.

Everything the imbiber eats tastes like strawberries.

Anyone you touch develops a paper cut.

Your feet/footwear develop a greasey substance on their soles.

Become magnetized.

Extreme farsightedness, double your vision range, but you are blind to anything in your original vision.

All of your coins turn into bricks.

You can now speak and understand all verbal languages, but are incapable of reading anything. (Or vice-versa)

All non-spoken sounds you hear are replaced by the calls of farm animals.

Your carrying capacity drops to 0.

Feet and hands switch places.

After every sentence you finish speaking, you uncontrollably add the words "Or so it seems."

[Zaq]

Add a random Drift effect (from the Geomancer class in Complete Divine), a random Deformity feat, a random Aberrant Blood feat, or a random Abyssal Heritor feat.

Then roll on the Polymorph Any Object duration table to see how long it lasts. (I know that the PaO table is not usually accompanied by a random die roll. This is not the point.)

[Dogmantra]

For 1d10 hours, you turn into a housecat.
Better hope there are lots of level 1 wizards about to kill.

[raptor1056]

You are high, and act as if confused.

[Worira]

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It's

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really

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annoying

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when

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you

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spam

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for

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no

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reason.

[TheCountAlucard]

It's really annoying when you spam spoiler tags for no reason.

My intent wasn't to "spam spoiler tags," but to break the text up a little, and separate it into manageable pieces by what happened. My apologies for your inconvenience.

[TheCountAlucard]

Well, just had my latest session, and the PCs didn't go too overboard with the magic water.

The healer drank/dove into the water enough times to:

• Turn into a living cloud of steam.
• Turn back.
• Have his arms double in length.
• Have his legs double in length.
• Grow a beard.
• Grow a second beard while the first beard was still in effect.
• A temporary +6 to Strength.
• Reverse the last five effects.

On the other hand, the Warlock drank the water twice. He got:

• Four bony spurs sprouting from his shoulder blades.
• The taste of wine in his mouth.
• A temporary +6 to Dexterity.

Later on, the Warlock, feeling mischievous, mixed in one of the flasks of water with the party's drining water. When the PCs drank it later, they were surrounded by "a golden, shimmering aura" for one round. Since they didn't question it, I left it at that.

When the PCs got to town, the Warlock sold the flask that made things celestial to a priest of Garl Glittergold, who was very interested by it. While the party was off gathering information about the main plotline, the priest began to test it on various things, including some of the local wildlife.

That's how the healer came across a celestial squirrel at the end of the session. Thanks to some applications of speak with animals and goodberry, the party now has a celestial squirrel travelling with them.

All in all, not a bad session.

It was only after the session that someone pointed out that the Warlock might've been able to obtain much "Hilarity Ensues" with the dust of dryness he had on him.