Hey, everybody else has started a let's play and abandoned it. Lets Play X-Com!

[chiasaur11]

Sir, I'm pleased to report that both the large alien and Copper have been subdued.

On a related note, sir, I need a new stunstick.

We're working on it.

I think you'll be pleased with the results.

[Alex Knight]

I hope so, sir, because Copper is a poor substitute for a good stunstick.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I hope so, sir, because Copper is a poor substitute for a good stunstick.

Hey, its you! You stunned me!

ME NO LIKE BE STUNNED

*Pulls out Morning Star*

[Alex Knight]

Hey, its you! You stunned me!

ME NO LIKE BE STUNNED

*Pulls out Morning Star*

*starts to reach for his stunstick, remembers that it's broke*

*grabs Copper again and beats Fiddler*

This is X-Com, rookie! You should be thankful you got stunned, instead of shredded by plasma fire, or eaten alive, or any of the other horrible fates that are probably going to happen to you in the field. Some of them at the same time!

[The Dark Fiddler]

*starts to reach for his stunstick, remembers that it's broke*

*grabs Copper again and beats Fiddler*

This is X-Com, rookie! You should be thankful you got stunned, instead of shredded by plasma fire, or eaten alive, or any of the other horrible fates that are probably going to happen to you in the field. Some of them at the same time!

...you know, you're right! I should stop hiding, because there's so much stuff that I'm missing out on by doing so!

[chiasaur11]

*starts to reach for his stunstick, remembers that it's broke*

*grabs Copper again and beats Fiddler*

This is X-Com, rookie! You should be thankful you got stunned, instead of shredded by plasma fire, or eaten alive, or any of the other horrible fates that are probably going to happen to you in the field. Some of them at the same time!

He's a squaddie now.

Means you have to stop beating him in about...

Two minutes.

And if he makes Sgt, you can only beat him if he panics.

[Winterwind]

Hmmm... while I have neither desire to be a spoilsport, nor to make it seem as if I was presuming the right to speak for Copper, I have to say this has stopped to be funny.

Chiasaur as commander who (not-so-)secretly wants one soldier whom he dislikes to die? That was amusing.

Everybody in the thread ganging up on Copper, insulting him, throwing in something hurtful in just about every post? That's gone far beyond funny, that's simply repulsive.

[Alex Knight]

Everybody in the thread ganging up on Copper, insulting him, throwing in something hurtful in just about every post? That's gone far beyond funny, that's simply repulsive.

Hey. I'm just using Copper as a substitute because the commander wouldn't approve of reckless abuse of X-Com equipment, and the other squaddies don't make good stunstick replacements.

[Copacetic]

Hmmm... while I have neither desire to be a spoilsport, nor to make it seem as if I was presuming the right to speak for Copper, I have to say this has stopped to be funny.

Chiasaur as commander who (not-so-)secretly wants one soldier whom he dislikes to die? That was amusing.

Everybody in the thread ganging up on Copper, insulting him, throwing in something hurtful in just about every post? That's gone far beyond funny, that's simply repulsive.

Hey, the moment he says "Quit it guys" They'll all shut up. Or if he really doesn't think it's a joke anymore he'll tell a mod.

[Thanatos 51-50]

I'd like to set forth a proposal that Alex is the Alien Sympth! He's constantly beating other X-Com members for no reason other than apparent sadisim! I humbly recomend we increase his OPTEMPO, so we get more healthy guns pointed at the bad guys.
And If I'm wrong, well we've eliminated one suspect and all our thwackin arms are opertaionally good to go!

[Alex Knight]

Hey now, the commander has voiced full approval of my thwacking efforts. That means you suspect the commander of being an alien Symp as well.

Since the commander is obviously not an alien symp, and since he approves of my morale-raising efforts, I'm obviously not an alien symp.

Besides, if I was, Lopez woulda shot me by now.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Retort: The Commander is Human, and like all Humans (such as myself), can be fooled by chicanery.

And you could have used your alien mind-powers or whatever to re-wire Lpez to not shoot you.

[Alex Knight]

Retort: The Commander is Human, and like all Humans (such as myself), can be fooled by chicanery.

And you could have used your alien mind-powers or whatever to re-wire Lpez to not shoot you.

Wait...you're accusing HWP Lopez of being vulnerable to filthy alien mental powers?

<narrows eyes>

That's defeatist talk. Bad for morale.

[Cubey]

Reporting on our classified project:

Spoiler

Show

During the work on Lopez Jr, I mean Project Enforcer, some of our science staff came up with an interesting option. The machine will be more efficient if we control it using an extracted human brain. Despite permanently existing in agony and rage, it will be easy to control due to restraining measures, which totally are not a bunch of nuts and bolts and a handshake zapper I bought in a slapstick accessories shop. Our initial reports suggest that the best man for the job of having his brain sacrificed for the project's greater good is anyone who shares anti-nerd sentiments Lord Herman. Shall we pursue this option?

Also, now that we have two bases, I have an idea. If we transfer personnel so that it is in transit on new month's eve, they won't be able to pick up their paychecks and will not receive their salary for the month. That should help us save on expenses. This only works with engineers and soldiers - scientists insist on electronic transactions.

[The Dark Fiddler]

In the end, it wasn't guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
—Scary Door Announcer: Futurama: Bender's Game

Clearly this means we should research DINOSAURS.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Wait...you're accusing HWP Lopez of being vulnerable to filthy alien mental powers?

<narrows eyes>

That's defeatist talk. Bad for morale.

Dooooon't try to change the subject, you dirty Alein Symph!

[Eldan]

Clearly, the one accusing others is the alien symp. That means all of you except me!

[Alex Knight]

Clearly, the one accusing others is the alien symp. That means all of you except me!

Nah, I'm not accusing anyone, I'm just raising morale.

[Eldan]

But isn't that exactly what a symph would do? Raise morale to the point where we become careless, so that we make mistakes?

Hah! I'm on to you, traitor.

[Alex Knight]

If you make careless mistakes, you're clearly not X-Com material.

Our mistakes are all carefully planned in advance. Why else do you think you and Thanatos are still here?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Guys! Stop fighting! Fighting wastes time we could use to get Dinosaurs!

Spoiler

Show

In the end, it wasn't guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
—Scary Door Announcer: Futurama: Bender's Game

[Thanatos 51-50]

If you make careless mistakes, you're clearly not X-Com material.

Our mistakes are all carefully planned in advance. Why else do you think you and Thanatos are still here?

Because our Most Holy Emporer the guy at the recruiting office decreed that we, as good Soldiers Newbloods of the Imperium X-com were to purge the Heretic, Xeno and Mutant.

[Alex Knight]

Because our Most Holy Emporer the guy at the recruiting office decreed that we, as good Soldiers Newbloods of the Imperium X-com were to purge the Heretic, Xeno and Mutant.

Like I said. carefully planned in advance.

[Lord of Rapture]

Cubey, why are you wasting time with your prototype when you could be making a much more powerful robot that has already been made:

Spoiler

Show

I have the blueprints and the know-how (read: kidnapped creator) to make that robot, and all the materials needed are already found on Earth.

So why not make it already?

[Cubey]

So why not make it already?

Too big to fit into a Skyranger.

[Artanis]

Also, now that we have two bases, I have an idea. If we transfer personnel so that it is in transit on new month's eve, they won't be able to pick up their paychecks and will not receive their salary for the month. That should help us save on expenses. This only works with engineers and soldiers - scientists insist on electronic transactions.

The game's on easy, there's (some) savescumming, and we have psionics and a navigator before the fifteenth UFO shows up. He shouldn't need to pile the salary/transfer exploit on top of that.

[Lord of Rapture]

Too big to fit into a Skyranger.

Alright, I'll come up with a prototype so that it can fit. And I didn't know that Gundams could fit into Skyrangers as well. Or needed brains.

[Pie Guy]

Sir, may you please post my stats, sir! I want to see if it's possible to shoot Alex in the head from across the ocean!

[chiasaur11]

Sir, may you please post my stats, sir! I want to see if it's possible to shoot Alex in the head from across the ocean!

No.

You've got fifty time units, 55 stamina, 30 health, a pitiful ten bravery, 47 reactions, 29 strength...

On the upside, you've got an accuracy of 69. As a rookie.

[Copper8642]

Out of Character: Ya, I was noticing the fact that insults headed towards me by people who aren't chiasaur were getting less witty is time went on (with exceptions). Like looking away due to my gross incompetence. I'm kinda the best shot on the team. And I know they're not personal assaults. But keep it witty, that's all I ask. Oh, and while Alex beating people with me I did find humorous, in character you might one day be surprised to find I dislike being used as a club, and that I'm kept in a room full of deadly, easily concealable weapons for most of my life.