Hey, everybody else has started a let's play and abandoned it. Lets Play X-Com!

[Tengu_temp]

How the heck can you see a female in that picture? I mean the soldiers barely have any detail.

I have awesome eyesight. My shooting accuracy is the highest among newbies for a reason.

[chiasaur11]

Well, I do like being the Captain.

I mean, there's the captaining hat, the comparisons to Kirk and Rodgers...

Well, all I'm saying is that Captaining was pretty nice.

Well, another breakthrough ended March. We now knew what the fuel we'd recovered from the UFOs does.

Not how to use it, mind. We still had some study to go before our ships would outpace the enemy, but the lab boys were still amazed. Cubey was sitting back, eyes closed, muttering to himself.

"Said my Power Armor'd never have fuel enough to power it, did they? I'll show them. I'll show them all!"

Mad scientists. (Needless to say, I approve)


Our big march paychecks came in, and I once again was pleased with the results. Seems X-COM is now the name to trust in paramilitary psychotics with no loyalty to anyone but the highest bidder. (Also theme parks.)

And the money was good to have, with the recent money drain of the psi labs. Seems soon enough I'd be able to bend my lessers to my will. I had the main mission team (minus Copper. He can learn to kill with his mind by himself.) signed up for lab time.

Chumbley briefed me on the status of his involuntary bunkmates. Seems we had a navigator, a Reaper, and a grunt. Chumbley said the grunt wasn't going to be a problem, and the Reaper was basically a big puppy you wouldn't have to feel guilty about performing unethical experiments on, but the Nav officer kept trying to contact HQ every time it was awake. Of course, if we watched what it did...

Not a bad idea from Chumbley. And he managed to get his mitts on one of the lost "Doctor Who" serials. Dalek's Master Plan, complete with Mission to the Unknown.

I mean, I'm not a huge fan of Dennis Spooner, but it was a good effort.

As I watched some hokey old BBC special effects, I heard an alert blaring from the hangers.

"Scramble the jets or something. Watching Daleks."

I know how to delegate. What can I say.

As soon as some exterminating had finished, I got the squad out of the testing room, let Copper stop organizing the supplies by number of vowels, and hopped in the Skyranger. The speakers were working, finally, and as we flew toward the desert, the Ramones blared out of the familiar old sky bus.


It turns out, unfortunately, even Too Tough to Die doesn't encourage some people who recently saw exactly how tough you need to be to survive a plasma blast. And how you tend to bleed to death anyway.

Fortunately, Lopez and I weren't such cowards. The only alien at the crash site dropped quick enough.

As the most mind numbingly dull mission since Febuary ended, a call came in. Seems I'd been doing well enough to make Colonel. I promoted a few of my better officers and rookies

Sadly, they promoted Copper too. Can't have everything.

As I got back, Cubey asked me to swing by the psych testers. Might as well. Always wanted to see how to kill folks with my mind.

[Eldan]

Captain Copper? Huh. Has a ring to it, actually.

[Pie Guy]

Why the heck aren't they attacking America? What, do the aliens not like the smell of apple pie?

[Eldan]

We... I mean THEY totally do like that smell.-

I mean, I have no idea.

[Cubey]

My idea was supposed to be unrealistic, huh? Well, let's kick realism in the nuts!
Introducing, in X-Com stores around the globe, in roughly 2-3 weeks (maybe more, maybe less, depending on how the boss feels about researching UFO Power Sources):

[Eldan]

Too small. Also needs more muscle-enhancers.

[Cubey]

That would be too heavy, we'd be able to deploy only 3 soldiers on a mission. Wait until we have Avengers, and then we talk.

Also, Samus doesn't need muscle enhancers. She's badass by herself. We could use a Samus, but there aren't any women in X-Com. Only a shapeshifter who I swear is totally not an alien spy.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Ha! I'm a sergeant now! Can I propose my dinosaur idea again?

[chiasaur11]

Ha! I'm a sergeant now! Can I propose my dinosaur idea again?

Yes.

Cubey, Fiddler has some ideas. Pretend to care.

[Lord Herman]

Sergeant Dark Fiddler sir, how'd you feel about forming a mad science division of X-Com? With Chumbley's help, we could make some of our ner... ahem, scientists go mad. Think of the crazy gadgets we'd get to play with! And the dinosaurs. Don't forget the dinosaurs. Maybe we could even get them to make us nukes, so we can try my 'nuke all terror sites' plan.

[The Dark Fiddler]

We don't need to danged nukes if we have dinosaurs!

Especially if we genetically engineer them to breathe pure death!

[Thanatos 51-50]

Clearly, X-Com needs to hire a man like Nevada Raiderbane.

My Fallout 3 character for the survival challange. Has killed a seriously badass amount of Raiders in a span of five game-days.

[Lord Herman]

We don't need to danged nukes if we have dinosaurs!

Especially if we genetically engineer them to breathe pure death!

But... but... nukes make big boom! Don't we want big boom?

I suppose we could research both projects, and place bets on which racks up the highest body count. My money's on the nukes.

[Eldan]

Or we make Tyrannosaurs breathing nukes. You know, Godzilla.

[Pie Guy]

People, let's compromise! Make nuke proof dinosaurs!

[Eldan]

Can we also make dinosaur-proof nukes?

[chiasaur11]

Can we also make dinosaur-proof nukes?

Silly Eldan.

Nothing is Dinosaur proof.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Silly Eldan.

Nothing is Dinosaur proof.

Maybe if we put the Nuke inside a dinosaur? Dinosaur is the only thing that can be Dinosaur proof. And it doesn't work often.

[Lord of Rapture]

Wait...

I'm not a soldier?

Then who am I?

[Eldan]

Wait...

I'm not a soldier?

Then who am I?

You are my father.

Dun-dun-dun.

[Pie Guy]

Jeebus, LoR is totally and completely human as well?

[chiasaur11]

Wait...

I'm not a soldier?

Then who am I?

I'm pretty sure you're a soldier. Assigned to Fort Fri.

AKA, where tech is built, not used.

[Eldan]

Jeebus, LoR is totally and completely human as well?

No, he's just human. My mother was totally and completely.

[Copacetic]

I find it amusing Copper out-ranks everyone except Chia and yet he's locked in a closet and beaten repeatedly.

[chiasaur11]

I find it amusing Copper out-ranks everyone except Chia and yet he's locked in a closet and beaten repeatedly.

He's the same rank as Knight.

So, that explains it.

[Alex Knight]

He's the same rank as Knight.

So, that explains it.

I got told to stop using him as a weapon, so...there's that.

[Copper8642]

Yeah, the only person who continues to abuse me I can't actually order to stand down. Ok, only person except Chiasaur. Speaking of which, I fear for the life of the person who ordered me promoted. It's a shame someone is probably going to have to face Dino-Nukes just for a routine promotion.

Wait a minute... are you guys going to be keeping these dinosaurs where you keep all of your other weapons......?

THIS

COULD

BE

SWEET!

[Alex Knight]

Wait a minute... are you guys going to be keeping these dinosaurs where you keep all of your other weapons......?

Well, we have to train them first.

.....

I'mma gonna need a bigger stick.

[Fri]

Hello?

Anyone?

It's kinda dark here. I know I'm a ghost and all, but it's still dark and lonely.

Why do now I think that hiding in a medkit isn't a good idea and all. Especially if no one is ever going to use them.