Hey, everybody else has started a let's play and abandoned it. Lets Play X-Com!

[Eldan]

It's good that Lopez is getting rich, but why is no one buying my book, "
101 Stories of things I would have done if I were a spy but totally didn't because I'm not"?

[Cubey]

That's obviously because we find the notion that you might be a spy, even a theoretical one, to be utterly ridiculous.

I'm sorry but that's how it is. Your very presence just screams reliable, down to earth stability.

[ZeroNumerous]

Nah, that's a sappy title. He should write an insiprational autobiography called "Born Again Plasma, how I put my life, and self, back together with the help of questionably sane scientists"

Bah.

"Death: Or 'How I learned to stop worrying and love plasma'"

[EleventhHour]

Bah.

"Death: Or 'How I learned to stop worrying and love plasma'"

"The heart behind the sixteen inch depleted uranium casing, and power coils."

Lopez, your such a tank. *hugs turret*

[Fri]

It's good that Lopez is getting rich, but why is no one buying my book, "
101 Stories of things I would have done if I were a spy but totally didn't because I'm not"?

Hah! But seriously, aren't there a real book with somewhat similar premise? I forgot.

[Oslecamo]

Well, everybody else was getting lasers and jetpacks. Only fair to give some to the MVP.

Actually, quite generous of you commander to equip the whole gang with jetpacks! Those things are quite expensive.

[chiasaur11]

Actually, quite generous of you commander to equip the whole gang with jetpacks! Those things are quite expensive.

Well, one for each member of the active strike team.

They do get to keep it when they retire, though.

[ZeroNumerous]

They do get to keep it when they retire, though.

... Wait a minute.. We weren't allowed to retire..

[chiasaur11]

... Wait a minute.. We weren't allowed to retire..

You can retire when we win.

And not a moment sooner.

[BRC]

... Wait a minute.. We weren't allowed to retire..

When Johnny the Engineer retired, Commander said he went to a Big Workshop in the country.

[king.com]

You can retire when we win.

And not a moment sooner.

Either that or when the human race is exterminated/submitted to an eternity of slavery.

[chiasaur11]

Either that or when the human race is exterminated/submitted to an eternity of slavery.

You think a little thing like that will let you dodge an X-COM contract?

Awful naive of you.

[Gralamin]

You think a little thing like that will let you dodge an X-COM contract?

Awful naive of you.

Lets put it this way. Devils from hell are impressed by X-COM contracts. Signing it is much worse then signing your own death warrant

[king.com]

Lets put it this way. Devils from hell are impressed by X-COM contracts. Signing it is much worse then signing your own death warrant

More than your soul is signed away thats for sure. Dignity factors in somewhat...

[EleventhHour]

More than your soul is signed away thats for sure. Dignity factors in somewhat...

No, no. They just pull an Imperium on you.

You work from birth to death, and then your dead body is used for spare parts, both organs for the living, and your general body for incorperation into a mindless labour drone.

(When Knight isn't forcing the rookies to do all the lifting.)

[Rockphed]

(When Knight isn't forcing the rookies to do all the lifting.)

I wish we had it so good. No, Knight uses rookies as mops.

[Winterwind]

No, no. They just pull an Imperium on you.

You work from birth to death, and then your dead body is used for spare parts, both organs for the living, and your general body for incorperation into a mindless labour drone.

And here I thought Knight simply beats the dead bodies until they get up and cheerfully march into battle again...

[Oslecamo]

And here I thought Knight simply beats the dead bodies until they get up and cheerfully march into battle again...

He did that for some time, then Death slapped a lawsuit on us threatening to kill all our buyers if we kept interefering in her job.

[Winterwind]

He did that for some time, then Death slapped a lawsuit on us threatening to kill all our buyers if we kept interefering in her job.

Hmmm... can't we take advantage of that somehow? Like, tell her to follow through with that threat, and then start selling to the aliens?

[chiasaur11]

Right. First mission against Snakemen battleships?

Success. No other way to put it. Of course, no time to rest on our laurels.

"Alright men. Back on the Skyranger. Any cowardice will be met with a fate worse than death."

"But we just got back!"

"Had to give Cubey some new toys. You all get to go hunt snakemen twice in one day. Aren't you lucky."

BRC coughed slightly, then muttered something about the oppression of the workers. Communists.

Well, looks like some people were about to learn why X-COM's territory is legally classified as a dictatorship.

As we landed, I noticed a smaller craft taking off. Worth remembering. Also, that meant the most valuable crewmembers of the ship would be gone, meaning a total slaughter is a viable strategy.

Lopez took out the minimal resistance outside the ship, while Copper, Trazoi, and I headed in to scout. Tengu, BRC, and Slaanesh were on radio contact in case any Snakes tried to pull something funny.

After several rousing minutes of laser based gunplay, ducking plasma, and a lot of very creative swearing from both sides, we managed to clear most of the upper deck.

After sending Trazoi down to check some suspicious noises, which netter us another Blaster Launcher, I decided to check the last room.

Of course, Tengu insisted he's had nothing to do with this, that it was a very good thing I'd disarmed the navigator quietly beforehand, and there was no way he was attempting to seize control of the base. Times like that, I miss Knight. Oh well, no sense in killing a valuable resource when maiming will do.

After breaking all the fingers on Tengu's left hand, I looked over the spoils. It seemed we had just got our hands on more Elerium than we'd ever need. Ferrus's suggestion of a "Giant army of Elerium powered walking death machines" was now back on the table.

As soon as we were back, I went into the labs to ask Cubey about that. I mean, he'd mentioned it before, and we had the resources.

I found a smoking crater where the weapon range had been, Chumbley looking equally impressed and horrified, some still sizzling bits of Chryssalid flesh, and Cubey writing some notes next to a Blaster Bomb launcher.

I really should have seen this coming.

"Please tell me you did something other than blow up the lab in the 3 hours I was away."

"I'd be lying, though. I did, however, do something earlier this month. It's in the manila folder."

"Isn't manila used for clean underwear? Or was it porn..."

"Never cared much for filing. I leave that to Copper."

I snuck a glance into the folder.



Hoo mama. So this was the design Cubey had been holding hostage until he got some good explosives. Gotta say, this thing was worth the loss of half the lab. Fort Fri would work on this one immediately.

If we knew where the aliens were striking from, this would pretty much guarantee us a chance at payback. Sweet, sweet payback.

[Winterwind]

Great update as always.



I was always amused by the fact that, after just a bit of research, the X-Com quickly comes up with a vessel that is vastly superior in every regard to every UFO, including the battleships. While being 50 times smaller.
Who is the superior, more advanced race here?

We haven't researched Cydonia Or Bust yet, have we? Gotta find an alien base now...

[Tengu_temp]

Ow. My fingers.

[EleventhHour]

Zoom, awesome UFO-deathbringer time!

[Winterwind]

Ow. My fingers.

Can't you use your vast psionic powers to, say, swap bodies with somebody else or something? At least until your original body has healed up?

[Fri]

Well, humans are special and all that. I learned all I need to know about human-alien relationship from Star Trek after all. Though, maybe I should've brushed my shatner impresionism more before going to the field. Oh well, it's too late now. At least I still can impressionate the doctor now.

[Tengu_temp]

Can't you use your vast psionic powers to, say, swap bodies with somebody else or something? At least until your original body has healed up?

Technically I could, but I don't have a fetish for that, so I prefer to use it only when it serves my world-, or at least X-Com-dominating plans not to do it at all.

[Cubey]

You don't need fingers to mindrape enemies, so no complaining.

I was always amused by the fact that, after just a bit of research, the X-Com quickly comes up with a vessel that is vastly superior in every regard to every UFO, including the battleships. While being 50 times smaller.
Who is the superior, more advanced race here?

And even default human aircraft weapons are superior to alien ones in everything but ammo! Well, except for Battlecruiser guns.
Alien ship designs are like alien tactics - you know they were high when making them, you just aren't sure on what.

I think we have a Commander already. We'll interrogate him... eventually.

BLASTER LAUNCHER BLASTER LAUNCHER.
Boom, there goes half the battlescape!

[ZeroNumerous]

Can't you use your vast psionic powers to, say, swap bodies with somebody else or something? At least until your original body has healed up?

Or just, you know, heal your original body. I dunno. HEAL THYSELF PHYSICIAN!

[EleventhHour]

BLASTER LAUNCHER BLASTER LAUNCHER.
Boom, there goes half the battlescape!

Or the interior of a UFO.

[Kane]

Can't you use your vast psionic powers to, say, swap bodies with somebody else or something? At least until your original body has healed up?

DON'T GIVE Him Good idea, thanks, Winterwind.

[Ninja'd]