Hail friend computer! (Paranoia)

[Hiest, monkey]

I played Paranoia or the first time today, and it was great!

I had so much fun I almost forgot to take my happy-time meds, but I would never forget somethig so nessesary.

I'm the happiness officer, in charge of keep all of you happy and efficient!

Would you like to hear a song?
I'd like to sing a song!

What's that? You resent the happiness the computer offfers you? Or was that a communist symbol you just showed to those passersby?

You don't know what I'm talking about? Well of course you don't. On your knees you dirty IF Commie Mutant traitor.

Is that a fireball in your ha-....

[Alex Knight]

Now, now, friend citizen. Friend Computer would not approve of the wasting of resources. Now, what evidence did you have that this citizen is a commie mutant traitor?

[Hiest, monkey]

Great game. I'm gonna do a follow-up session tomorrow (today?). Any fun moments you can remember?

[Alex Knight]

Great game. I'm gonna do a follow-up session tomorrow (today?). Any fun moments you can remember?

GM: "Ok, so he dropped an armed nuclear hand grenade. What do you do?"

Me: "I hide from the blast!" <roll> "Critical success!"

GM ".....what clone are you on?"

Me: "One." (Note: the rest of the group was on 3 or 4 at that point.)

GM: "You hide so well you can't find yourself. Increment clone."

[Gorgondantess]

What is this paranoia you speak of, and where can I get one?

[Duke of URL]

What is this paranoia you speak of, and where can I get one?

I'm sorry friend citizen, but that information is classified.

--------------

Playing as the Computer, my best in-game moment was getting the players to initiate a firefight inside the briefing room at the beginning of the mission, simply by having the briefing officer call everyone by someone else's name and hand out assignments to the wrong person accordingly (and slipping one of them a secret, albeit harmless, message). Of course, the Blue Vulture Squad guards ended the firefight pretty quickly.

If I could ever get players to survive past a visit to R&D, I have a collection of experimental devices that I'm sure would ensure that hilarity ensues, but... *sigh*

[Cristo Meyers]

What is this paranoia you speak of, and where can I get one?

Mongoose Publishing still has the rights to the game and is still producing the rulebook and supplements as far as I know.

Best moment: leveling an entire sector with a thermonuclear hand grenade, thus completeing my secret mission of destroying the parcel we were to deliver

Funniest moment: rolling a critical success on my Regeneration power while on fire. I was constantly burning off and regenerating flesh until someone shot me.

[Avaris]

I played once where my character had the special skill of 'If I can't see you, you can't see me'. Therefore my reaction in a firefight was to sit there with my hands over my eyes. He didn't last long.

[Tengu_temp]

Wrong forum - should be in Roleplaying Games.

[BRC]

Wrong forum - should be in Roleplaying Games.

Posting in the wrong forum is Treason.

My best paranoia game concept, the Troubleshooters (three of them) were asked to investigate who blew up a Public Happiness Enhancer (read, a really big public jumbotron). They were also the suspects, and intsec had reason to believe there were two culprits (So nobody could team up on the other person). Also, each had been in that area doing suspicious things the previous daycycle (nothing to do with blowing up the Public Happiness Enhancer though).



My best moment was the time I sent them into a munitions plant that had been taken over by P.U.R.G.E in order to disarm a Tacnuke. The methods by which one disarms a Tacnuke were not available at their security clearance. Some of them had to leave a 9:00, so I said that's when the Tacnuke would go off. All their secret societies wanted them to grab the same box that was inside the plant. They were too busy drugging/fighting each other to check the time. I ended the session with
"You're grenade does not go off. But the Tacnuke does."

[Hiest, monkey]

I played once where my character had the special skill of 'If I can't see you, you can't see me'. Therefore my reaction in a firefight was to sit there with my hands over my eyes. He didn't last long.

^ Best Narrow skill ever.

Mine are more along the lines of: effectivly-hack-terminal-with-the-brick-I-keep-in-my-handbag.

I also like to make up my own mutant powers: immune to negative efects of drugs leads to some interesting arguments...
GM: Hallucinations for LSD are not a negative effect
Me: but what if I have a bad trip? What then?

My character is also a bitter, resentful, cynical individual whose sarcasm has yet to catch up with her, so by random chance I was assigned to be happiness officer (I saw the roll too, not GM fudging). Everytime I remember m duties I read a great joke, but with terrible timeing and in a monotone out of my "1001 Troubleshooter jokes" book. For songs: one of our group members plays piano, and there's a piano in our game room, so I get to improvise songs about commies.
My favorite tick: Germophobe.

[Cristo Meyers]

My favorite intro scenario to Paranoia is also one of the easiest. I was run through it by my old GM a long time ago:

Your troubleshooter team must deliver a message of utmost importance from citizen Pee-O-BOX in Sector ONE to citizen Recip-I-ENT in Sector TWO. Each of the troubleshooters, of course, as their own secret mission ranging from things like destroy the message, steal and replace the message, or just frag the Team Leader.

Last time my wife ran a group through it we had tics like "Constantly Invades Other's Personal Space" and "If You Can't Be Sure, Be Confident!" Hilarity, of course, ensued.

[BRC]

Hilarity, of course, ensued.

Hilarity is Mandatory.

[Cristo Meyers]

Hilarity is Mandatory.

Especially when S.P.L.A.T. cans are involved...

(Think what happens when you mix a grenade with a fire extinguisher...)

[BRC]

My best experimental Equipment, posting quickly before I have to go.

Double Ended Laser (Never again let Commie Mutan Traitors sneak up behind you! Also, if you yourself are a Commie Mutant Traitor, eliminate yourself AND your foe Simultaneously!)
Sticky Grenade (Now 100% Adhesive Coated)
Returning Grenade (Don't worry about wasting valuable computer resources if you miss your throw. Disarming device currently in development).

[mangosta71]

I loved that game. I was given the electroshock mutant power, with the sparkly skin (ala Meyerpire) side effect of using it. I was able to use my power to burn my way out of the S.P.L.A.T. detonation, and shouted "I'm sparkly clean!" The hygiene officer looked over at me and said simply, "I approve."

[factotum]

I always liked the quote from the back of the rulebook that went something like:

Welcome to Alpha Complex! The Computer wants you to be happy. If you are not happy, you may be used as reactor shielding.

Pretty much summed up the whole game.

[Dairun Cates]

Of course, I love Paranoia. After all. Everyone thinks I'm the mild mannered player Dai-R-UNN. But I'm actually the High Programmer GM Dair-U-NNN.

[Kurald Galain]

GM: "You hide so well you can't find yourself. Increment clone."

Ah yes, I've had a clone once who used his mutant power to will himself out of existence through causing paradox...

One of my best missions was locating and terminating a red-clearance traitor with a long beard, that handed out suspicious packages to everyclone and said "HO" a lot...

[Cristo Meyers]

One of my best missions was locating and terminating a red-clearance traitor with a long beard, that handed out suspicious packages to everyclone and said "HO" a lot...

He was a red-suited pimp that worked for UPS?

[Kurald Galain]

He was a red-suited pimp that worked for UPS?

Knowledge of UPS is not available at your security clearance, citizen. Please report to the nearest termination center at your convenience. Now!

[TheCountAlucard]

I want to play Paranoia. I just has no one to play it with.

[BobVosh]

I also like to make up my own mutant powers: immune to negative efects of drugs leads to some interesting arguments...
GM: Hallucinations for LSD are not a negative effect
Me: but what if I have a bad trip? What then?

Arguments with Ultraviolet clearance citizens is high treason, citizen. Please enter the closest termination center.

[Dairun Cates]

I want to play Paranoia. I just has no one to play it with.

Friend Computer recommends playing by yourself by using the following EXCELLENT solo mission rules.

Step 1: Go to Mission debriefing.
Step 2: Accuse self of treason.
Step 3: Go to nearest termination booth
Step 4: Happily repeat Steps 1-3 until out of clones
Step 5: Thank you for your continued loyal service to Friend Computer.

[DamnedIrishman]

I want to play Paranoia. I just has no one to play it with.

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=51?

[chiasaur11]

Friend Computer recommends playing by yourself by using the following EXCELLENT solo mission rules.

But not too often or you'll go blind.

Knowledge of any secondary meaning is ultraviolet, citizen. Please report to the nearest self termination booth if this comment elicits any amusement.

[Dairun Cates]

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=51?

Oh, and I just remembered.

www.paranoia-live.net

Online live paranoia.

[DamnedIrishman]

But not too often or you'll go blind.

Knowledge of any secondary meaning is ultraviolet, citizen. Please report to the nearest self termination booth if this comment elicits any amusement.

Hiding messages is treason, citizen. Please report to the nearest self termination booth


Reading hidden messages is ultraviolet, citizen. Please report to the nearest self termination booth.

[Pulsecode]

We had a really weird game that started out slapstick fun, and got really dark by the end... we'd all reported to R&D for equipment for our mission. One person got a continuous beam laser, but unfortunately the beam really was continuous - there was no way of shutting it off, once it was fired. Then the powerpack overheated, and exploded. Another person got a highly experimental particle launcher. This actually worked perfectly, as far as it went... turns out the noticeable effects of being hit by a particle are pretty much nothing.

My character got an IQ booster, which was unstable. The effects increased exponentially - at first it was the GM slipping me hints, by the end of the game the character was severely mentally ill, withdrawing into himself in a recursive loop, unsure that reality really was real. In fact, it wasn't. He could prove it. Scientifically. With FORMULAE. So that was fun.

Funniest moment : the group was tasked testing out another piece of R&D equipment - one which sent them back in time to the founding of Alpha Complex. This was a complete surprise to us, and led to much trickery later on. My character decided that the entire thing was a simulation, to test their loyalty to Friend Computer by offering them a chance to destroy it at its inception. Naturally though, as we passed the guards at the entrance to the complex, one of the party praised Friend Computer.

We got funny looks at first, until one of the quicker thinkers asked who was in command. The guard said depending on how you looked at it, either General Geoffreys, or the USA.

"I love Friend Geoffreys!"
"Uhh..."
"Ah. Then... I love the USA!"
"Damn right you do! Go on in!"

[chiasaur11]

Hiding messages is treason, citizen. Please report to the nearest self termination booth


Reading hidden messages is ultraviolet, citizen. Please report to the nearest self termination booth.

Not knowing the proper format for Ultraviolet level messages is treason, as is accusing an ultraviolet class citizen of treason.

Please report to the second nearest self termination booth, as the nearest one is occupied.