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    Ogre in the Playground
    GreatWyrmGold's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2009
    In a castle under the sea

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    First part here (thread-locked)

    General (board)
    Quote Originally Posted by Roland St. Jude
    Thread necromancy makes baby thog cry.
    Quote Originally Posted by lindorm View Post
    Are you talking religion or the Matrix?
    Quote Originally Posted by Zeta Kai View Post
    There once was a kobold named Pun-Pun,
    Who thought that godhood would be fun-fun,
    So he found a Sarrukh,
    Whose powers he took,
    And he told his DM, "I won-won!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Rutskarn View Post
    If you have a diminutive stature, speak in a high register, and participate in an elaborate guild-based structure, you might be a munchkin.
    Quote Originally Posted by JT Jag View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Herald Alberich View Post
    Conception allows a reflex save? What happens if you don't have Evasion, but make your save for half damage?
    Fraternal twins.
    Quote Originally Posted by Danin View Post
    DM - "Congratulations, you succeeded in collapsing the mountain on it, the arcane energies tearing the entire area asunder"
    Players - "Woo hoo! We did it guys! We kick a-"
    DM - "I never said it was dead"
    Quote Originally Posted by sonofzeal View Post
    Red Dragon: "*casts Disguise Self* Why yes, I am a Silver Dragon! What would you like?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Stormthorn View Post
    "You wake up in the tomb of horrors. Make a Fort save."
    Quote Originally Posted by Agrippa View Post
    Voldemort, even as one of his world's most powerful and fearsome dark wizards, has a hard time hitting the broad side of a barn.
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimystik View Post
    But then they don't have a will save
    Quote Originally Posted by Storm Bringer View Post
    'If I hadn't been born a dwarf,' said The Dwarf, 'I would have been ashamed of myself.'
    Quote Originally Posted by FlyingWhale View Post
    In that case... Lemme put the mind on the burner and AAHHH FIREEEEEE
    Quote Originally Posted by Solaris View Post
    ... Yes, but there aren't any reptiles, mammals, or dinosaurs with six limbs or a breath weapon.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponce_LeRue View Post
    I think V creating a spell specially designed to grab and hold Belkar for extended periods of time is completely plausible by this point.
    Quote Originally Posted by Discord View Post
    the only reason he knew it existed was because he was once invited to a mage's symposium where a gnome wizard had tried to mix technology and magic together to mount a lamp, which ended with a Chain Lightning wounding and stunning everyone in the room, himself included.

    Good times, good times.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xefas View Post
    I mean, it's hard to classify a mechanic as "overpowered" if Team Rocket can beat it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Swooper View Post
    Damn rouges, so overpowdered
    Quote Originally Posted by hachface View Post
    I do not want to make rulings on the core system. That just gets in the way of making the interesting decisions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sermil View Post
    "THAT'S how I use my Charisma score in combat, DUMBASS!!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Liliet View Post
    And this is how Crystal learned her Aesop that there are more important things in life than killing. Not being in constant excruciating pain, for example.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bulldog Psion View Post
    The only thing V wants a partner to be in the bedroom is "quiet, so I can finish reading this ancient tome on spells before I trance."
    Quote Originally Posted by ahdok View Post
    Hey... HEY! I found the monster's secret weakness! Turns out it's weak to being killed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    It's not even the first time Haley killed this person she knew really well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gift Jeraff View Post
    All speech besides caveman grunts are colloquial phrases the world could do without.
    Quote Originally Posted by zyxophoj View Post
    Smash a wizard's spell component puch [sic], and he turns into a commoner in a dress.
    Smash a cleric's holy symbol, and he turns into an expert without the skillpoints.
    Smash a druid's divine focus, and he turns into a dire triceratops and stomps on you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Smolder View Post
    Ok, Giant, we know you're a talented story-teller. Now you're just show-boating.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jasdoif View Post
    Oh good, do you know how hard it is to get all eleven pipers to be quiet? I've yet to see an entire set that can tell the difference between a request for a silent night and a request for Silent Night.
    Quote Originally Posted by The gF View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Coat View Post
    A wise woman once said "There wouldn't need to be paladins if the world was like, fair!"
    Maybe the world needs more Paladins.
    I dunno, the ones we have aren't helping. :V Maybe the world just needs BETTER paladins.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coat View Post
    Part of being Good - and especially of being a Paladin - is opposing Evil. If someone lights up Evil on your Morality Radar, you kind of ought to do something about that.
    Opposing Evil does not need to mean punching it in the face. Opposing Evil can mean playing Go with it. It can mean establishing trade relations and introducing, delicately, over time, the idea of things like the rule of law. Some days, it can mean be treating someone with courtesy and respect, even though they're angry and resentful: because not being treated with courtesy and respect is a good way to make someone angry and resentful.
    O-Chul is totally my hero, because just like Miko, he opposes Evil everywhere he sees it, and because exactly unlike Miko, force is his weapon of last resort in doing so, not the first thing that comes to hand.
    Quote Originally Posted by Douche View Post
    I think many parties could benefit from selling their souls to an eldritch abomination, and I don't appreciate you trying to discourage that.
    Quote Originally Posted by War-Wren View Post
    Ha! I was just about to say that myself Looks like art may have triumphed in the comic section, but in the forums, science is King!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ridureyu View Post
    How To Play A Rogue:

    1. Spend 90% of the game doing 1d6+piffle damage.
    2. Attempt to set up flanks, only for other melee party members to go, "cool, you got this" and walk out of melee.
    3. Gain limited-use invisibility. Use it, do a bajillion in sneak-attack damage to one lowly minion.
    4. Get in troble as other players accuse you of being overpowered, and threaten to quit.
    5. Go back to doing 1d6+piffle damage.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kid Jake View Post
    Working for the government gives you super powers?
    (The above may be taken out of context)

    Quote Originally Posted by DaggerPen View Post
    Roy is never going to live his death down, huh?
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    You have now convinced me to play an Aboleth bard who sings about how things are better under the sea as it uses its slime to force people to stay underwater.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rakaydos View Post
    We're getting ahead of ourselves. Lets colonise mars before we start making generation ships to other stars.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shining Wrath View Post
    Then there's Rogue Waves, which do extra damage due to Sneak Attack.
    Quote Originally Posted by dtilque View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sniccups View Post
    So, confirmation that this is Thrym.
    Yes, that eliminates Parsley, Sage and Rosemary, who were the other suspects.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jasdoif View Post
    Well, it goes off when the author gets around to it....So probably tuit rounds.
    Quote Originally Posted by ExLibrisMortis View Post
    It gets worse. The template doesn't actually mention taking the creature's charisma score; you have to apply the rule on page 312 of the Monster Manual to figure that out. If you don't, you have a creature with self-awareness, but no ability to perceive anything. It's like taking Plato's cave and boarding up the entrance.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    It's like the opposite of the Heart of Gold's Infinite Improbability Drive. Imagine being a peasant working your field, and for the next 2 hours a party of schmucks appear and disappear every few minutes, leaving their +1 footprints all over your freshly ploughed soil.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheNecrocomicon View Post
    Yeah, when someone makes Belkar look like a paragon of diplomacy, they are doing something profoundly wrong.
    Quote Originally Posted by Forikroder View Post
    i feel bad for your coworkers having to deal with 3 frost giant assaults
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    (If I was new to this forum, I would think having Andi say "You stubborn little brat, why won't you ever just do what I tell you to do?!?" was selling Andi being thoroughly in the wrong here way too hard. As it is, I'm surprised the arguments that Andi is in the right took as long to show up as they did.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Today I learned that on any ship, if a single crewmember does not believe the captain is qualified, then the captain is unqualified.
    Brb, joining the Navy. My rise in the ranks shall be meteoric!
    Quote Originally Posted by Quibbilcious View Post
    When I get old, I want to live in a home where I can take it over by conquest.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xyril View Post
    If Scotty spendt five minutes on a whiny, passive-aggressive rant questioning why the hell Starfleet put Kirk in charge of a star ship, no reasonable captain would spend another five minutes listening on the off chance there's some critical information coming later.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sybarith View Post
    You commit one little act of genocide and the party leader never lets you live it down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    It's better than canonical, it's funny.
    Quote Originally Posted by 8BitNinja View Post
    I came here to talk about a web comic, but it turned into a discussion about the Roman Empire.
    The internet is a strange place.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quibblicious View Post
    As one player discovered, it's not wise to correct the grammar of a dragon.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quibblicious View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Hamste View Post
    You know when you are at the gym and there is only one treadmill left open? You and another person want to use it and you end up taking it (possibly kicking them in the nuts while doing so). Thus you better yourself at the expense of others.
    Usually, that's called assault. Not personal improvement.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Imagine a ballroom dance, except instead of graceful spinning skirts, there are deadly spikes of death.
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestia View Post
    Having to worship a deity named Blibdoolpoolp is punishment enough.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gildedragon View Post
    Paladin: What the?! This farm is full of undead!
    Peasant: Yeah, that's Freddie for you; never missed a day of work. Died in summer and came right back up to help with the harvest. Ain't too bright now, but thenagain he never was what we'd call Wizard material
    Quote Originally Posted by Gildedragon View Post
    Commoner: Oh! And sir Paladin, stay away from the Rutabaga... it came up particularly mean and evil this year.
    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    [G]etting into retroactive continuity is probably not healthy for your average farmer.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosi View Post
    There's a bunch of speculation about why, and it turns out that all the answers to that question make for pretty cool adventures.
    Quote Originally Posted by Milo v3 View Post
    I am young enough that when I first read the monk class I immediately thought "Oh so it's like House of Flying Daggers or Naruto". Which I actually feel maybe a worse misconception, considering I was reading 3.0 where the monk Is closer in power level to a random medieval english monk than a martial art's master.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    Imagine how many problems you can solve, how many ways you can help your friends, when not constrained by paltry morality! Imagine how much good you can achieve when you're willing to go to any length to achieve it! Imagine the monsters you can slay when you are the greatest monster of them all!
    Lots of books, series, and movies, have a protagonist who is a hero because, deep down, he is an even more dark and terrifying creature than the enemies he hunts. A trained killer killing other trained killers. A demonic vampire hunting lesser vampires. A man with a beast soul slaying monsters who threaten the innocent.
    (I can't tell if this is silly or serious, and that worries me.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gildedragon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Fizban View Post
    Creating a ridiculous mess everywhere you go.
    That's called being a wizard.
    Quote Originally Posted by Parvum View Post
    Dragonspider Adept is my vote.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mandor View Post
    TARQUIN considered Malack a friend and was outraged at his death. Tarquin is not exactly going to join Roy in the Heavans when it's all said and done. So I don't think Belkar caring about the "real Durkon" or about Mr. Scruffy, or other specific single beings, is going to cut the mustard with the Celestial Ratings Bureau, when he honestly doesn't give a sheet about random strangers. He's still a ruthless evil bastard, even if he's our lovable ruthless evil bastard.
    Quote Originally Posted by littlebum2002 View Post
    Guys, Belkar is only as Evil as 1000 Nazis! He's surely going to a neutral afterlife!
    Quote Originally Posted by CNagy View Post
    For some reason this feels really fitting; I got a mental image of a bunch of psions setting up a LAN party.
    Quote Originally Posted by factotum View Post
    Well, it's not that if you use the correct definition, but don't forget that the *Internet* definition of a deus ex machina is "Any unexpected plot development I don't like".
    Quote Originally Posted by nedz View Post
    Player 1: "My character is an Artist. I make a quick sketch of the suspect"
    DM: "Make a skill check"
    Player 2: "I cast Silent Image to create a likeness of the suspect."
    DM: "OK"
    Quote Originally Posted by littlebum2002 View Post
    "Hmmm, there's a big boulder on board, I wonder where it could have come from. I mean, we've only seen pictures of frost giants throwing boulders at the ship for 20 strips or so, but let's keep our minds open for other possibilities."
    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by mikeejimbo View Post
    I mean a TTRPG. It's SimAnt's fault in the first place.
    Now you're just arguing SimAnt-ics.
    Quote Originally Posted by Morquard View Post
    Uhm... I'm kinda worried now about how often you find giant corpses or giant boulders in your house...
    Quote Originally Posted by Yendor View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by factotum View Post
    Yeah, stabbing helpless prisoners is a really bad ass thing to be doing.
    Well, it's a bad thing to do, and an ass thing to do, so...
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    I'll tell you right now, if anyone asked me whether I thought they should wear a ballista on their head, I'm pretty sure I'd say "no."
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    An Airbus can make a water landing. Doesn't make it a good idea.
    But then you can make keel-hauling work!
    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Most people who get chicken pox do not encounter chickens.
    Well obviously we need to seriously re-think what were naming our diseases then
    Quote Originally Posted by georgie_leech View Post
    Honestly, arguing about whether previous OotS debates were justified is probably the closest thing to on-topic these discussion threads can get.
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Look, I'm as much a fan as anyone here of ridiculously specific, overly semantic arguments, but it'd be nice to argue about how stupid Dvalin is/isn't for accepting/rejecting the vote of a council of vampires/dominated dwarves once it actually happens.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ruck View Post
    "When the Order of the Stick isn't on the screen, everyone else should be standing around asking, 'Where's the Order of the Stick?'"
    Quote Originally Posted by Shining Wrath View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    Enough with the short jokes, eh?
    Far be it from me to mock your shortcomings.
    Quote Originally Posted by Snails View Post
    "Excuse me, m'lord, but you are two centuries too early to Protestant Reformation. The Inquisition is here to rip out your entrails to help you confess your trespasses, so they can save your soul before your imminent expiration."
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWyrmGold View Post
    If you're citing sources, you're probably serious.
    False. See here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Inevitability View Post
    If you read this sentence and thought 'can it get to infinite?' then congratulations; you're a typical member of the GitP forums!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    What killed them?
    Lack of hit points, mostly.
    Quote Originally Posted by SilverCacaobean View Post
    [COLOR="#0000FF"]If Rich specifically avoids writing everything that is on these forums, the only thing that will be left for him to write is a great coherent story!
    Quote Originally Posted by Manty5 View Post
    Prophecy, or do not. There is no lie.
    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ZamielVanWeber View Post
    You don't control when you use it. Your allies would need to successfully scare or anger you.
    The One and Only time a Kender would Benefit a party.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coretron03 View Post
    So when the Ancient Egyptians removed corpses' brains, they were optimizing them for the afterlife?
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Give a man a warhammer, and everything starts to look like a war.
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestia View Post
    I'm guessing that's an oversight as they probably didn't expect badger wizards.
    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    If a leopard is a valid option and you pick a horse, that's just bad decisionmaking.
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestia View Post
    Hill giant with +16 attack bonus: Yeah, that's fine.
    Hill giant with +19 attack bonus: Oh, God! What is that horrifying monstrosity? How could anyone possibly defeat such a terrifying beast?
    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    GMs shouldn't let everything look like a nail. Sometimes they should get screwy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    When attacking balance, your eyes vanish.
    It's like Botnik reads this forum.
    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    There are certain advantages to a game being as badly written as 3.5.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Changelings are so good at infiltration, they've infiltrated every official setting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Warchon View Post
    I think EliDupree is "in the lead" right now, for having used the imaginary poison damage to make a Pun-Pun out of a goddamn hairdresser.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    It's like an incarnation of 4chan as a creature.
    Untouchable vermin, useless and impractical, but potentially annoying for everyone else.
    Quote Originally Posted by Inevitability View Post
    Problem: high-level beatsticks are easily negated by flight and projectile weapons.
    Solution: create a high-level beatstick that can throw stuff, holy crap I'm a genius.
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestia View Post
    I can't see any situation in which being a shrub would be beneficial and not completely undermined by also having a wizard stand next to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Luccan View Post
    Orcs. Truly the Half-Orcs of Monster PCs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    Also your chicken flesh golem will look terrifying, so there's that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quertus View Post
    Also, because "milk or be milked!" just seemed like a cool threat.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quertus View Post
    Right, so, how many butter golems can one make from an established 25 ton benchmark?
    Quote Originally Posted by Angel Bob View Post
    Well, duh, you obviously ought to make the orcs Texans. Problem solved.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arbane View Post
    "If the rogue can't sneak into the Underworld and steal a soul back out to the land of the living, maybe the wizard shouldn't be building their own pocket universe."
    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari View Post
    Durkon is too Lawful for his own Good. It wasn't an exile, it was a mission and Hurak could send him on missions. That the mission was an obvious pretext is not the point.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lapak View Post
    Four otyugh siblings were raised as Swordsages by a rat who ended up in the sewer after his owner was assassinated by a rival ninja.

    Now they patrol the streets above by night, each named for a famed master of the ancient era.

    Mordenkainen is the fun one.
    Drawmij always has the right magic item on hand.
    Rary is the take-no-prisoners bruiser who dumped CHA.
    Leomund is the party face.
    Quote Originally Posted by Resileaf View Post
    If you are modeled after an animal which's [sic] sole purpose is to wake people up in the morning, then yes, you are definitely evil.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Welcome to Druid politics: the losing candidate will be eaten.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shining Wrath View Post
    It'd be like kids on the playground with "My dad can whup your dad", only the dads might actually show up and fight.
    Quote Originally Posted by MrConsideration View Post
    Someone has sat down in front of blank Word documents at Wizard of the Coast HQ, watching the accusing blink, and thought of an ecology for a monster that pretends to be a cloak so it can eat you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Broken Crown View Post
    It would be cool, but on reflection it's probably for the best that my basement isn't full of panthers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nifft View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Regitnui View Post
    Some kind of adolescent victory goddess?
    Zeus: "Turn down that damn music! You're giving me a headache again!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Regitnui View Post
    If French or German are elves and dwarves, English is a gibbering mouther.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shining Wrath View Post
    Also, who wants to eat orcs? Seriously, have you ever tasted one?
    Quote Originally Posted by EvilAnagram View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Shining Wrath View Post
    Imp is another name repurposed for D&D with a long history. It used to mean a child of a noble house ...
    But how would that come to refer to an evil, lazy, vicious, impatient, poisonous devil...
    Ah, yes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Turin_19 View Post
    So, when Roy's sword falling off is no longer an issue, Roy falling off is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    So in my first game of D&D, my paladin murdered an entire lawful party.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    “Yes, well, that’s because you’re a Paladin, sworn to do what’s Lawful and what’s Good. I’m just a Thief, free to do what’s right.”
    Quote Originally Posted by Fish View Post
    Durkon: Says here, “If any party is found not t’ be in ‘is right mind, th’ entire contract is automatically nullified.”
    Vampire: I don’t know about that.
    Durkon: Tha’ is in ev’ry contract. It’s known as a Sanity Clause.
    Vampire: You can’t fool me, there ain’t no Sanity Clause.
    Quote Originally Posted by FaerieGodfather View Post
    Can I just say how much I love this thread? You've got people on one side arguing that Paladins killing Evil people without other justification will Fall and lose all their Paladin abilities, and people on other side arguing that if Paladins do not kill every Evil person they encounter will Fall and lose all of their Paladin abilities... both quoting RAW...

    .. and the only thing they can all agree on is that the alignment rules are fine as-is and that the Paladin class does not need reform.

    Other Fora:

    My own quotes
    I can't believe I'm finding myself explaining to several people why mass murder is not the solution to all of their problems.
    (This sentiment has come up more often for me than it should have...)

    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWyrmGold View Post
    Next, in adventuring news, a special report on a combat happening in the mountains.
    It appears that a party of adventurers and a conveniently-chartered endgame airship are fighting a group of ice giants! The party rogue has found herself in melee combat with a group of the giants, including one unruly fellow with an axe that would take a whole team of half-orc barbarians to so much as lift. How did she get into this situation, and why hasn't she left? Let's hear what the lady herself has to say on the subject. Haley?
    : ...
    Fascinating! Back to you, Judy.
    (I mostly like the beaten-up Haley icon I made.)

    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWyrmGold View Post
    I question the idea that bear armor is common.
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWyrmGold View Post
    Eugenics: The thickest bureaucracy of Soviet Russia and the darkest logistics of Nazi Germany, combined in one terrible policy!

    Spoiler: Gaming Quotes

    "Why dodge when you can penguin-slide?"

    Other player: tries to roll die, misses table
    Me: "Well, everyone rolls a 1 sometimes."
    Other player: rerolls, rolls a 1
    Me: "I didn't mean that way!"
    Last edited by GreatWyrmGold; 2019-08-09 at 05:00 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Blade Wolf View Post
    Ah, thank you very much GreatWyrmGold, you obviously live up to that name with your intelligence and wisdom with that post.
    Quotes, more

    Winner of Villainous Competitions 8 and 40; silver for 32

    Pixel avatar by me! Other avatar by Recaiden.

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