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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RogueGirl

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    Default Friend with an eating disorder- how to help?

    Some of you that follow the relationship advice thread may remember a while back my attempt to start a relationship with a friend. We went to prom together and we're now in college a couple hours apart; I confessed my feelings but got the answer I expected-- he wasn't interested in a long-distance relationship, but was okay with staying friends.

    I hadn't known until maybe a couple weeks before prom that this same friend had had an eating disorder for a while. Not many people had known; I found out through a documentary on the subject he did for a class project. I told him that I thought he was really brave for putting it out there and we talked a bit about the subject, but that was about it.

    He's attending one of the Ivy League schools and he mentioned having a heavy workload; we've been keeping in touch through Facebook. I'm still not sure whether or not I still have feelings for him, but I just wanted to be a good friend still since I cared about him and worried still.

    Anyway, I went to check his Facebook this morning and learned that he's taking the rest of his semester off and checking into an out-of-state hospital for his eating disorder. He asked everyone to write to him and such, and I added to the people wishing him good luck and hoping he'd get better. I just want to know if anyone has ideas of how I can possibly support him or do anything to help. Even if he doesn't feel for me the way I felt about him, I'm still really worried about him and just wanted to ask the Playground for any ideas.
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    No one asked you, Haley's Latent Bisexuality.

    I require a reminder as to why raining arcane destruction is not an appropriate response to all life's indignities.

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Dragonrider's Avatar

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    Default Re: Friend with an eating disorder- how to help?

    That's really brave of him - a lot of times assumptions about EDs being female-only diseases make it difficult for males to seek the help they need.

    At this point? Just be there the way you would for any friend who was depressed or sick. And let him know that you will be his friend no matter what he looks like (I assume it's the sort of ED that involves obsession with weight/appearance).

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    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Friend with an eating disorder- how to help?

    DR is right on the mark here. Right now, the best thing you can do for him is to be a friend. Don't assume anything about his disorder right now. Just offer him your support. That's the best thing anyone can do for him (assuming he hasn't already seen a doctor. Though if he hasn't, I'd at least suggest that he go to one. Most doctors will promise confidentiality, and knowing what he's up against will definitely help him figure out what to do next.)
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    Orc in the Playground
     
    RogueGirl

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    Default Re: Friend with an eating disorder- how to help?

    Quote Originally Posted by Introbulus View Post
    DR is right on the mark here. Right now, the best thing you can do for him is to be a friend. Don't assume anything about his disorder right now. Just offer him your support. That's the best thing anyone can do for him (assuming he hasn't already seen a doctor. Though if he hasn't, I'd at least suggest that he go to one. Most doctors will promise confidentiality, and knowing what he's up against will definitely help him figure out what to do next.)
    He was in treatment by the time I started getting closer to him. I've known him for at least four or five years, but we didn't start getting more friendly until this year, shortly before I asked him to prom. From what I can remember, he was seeing a few doctors (psychiatrist, etc.) and on mood stabilizers. He was in recovery for a while, but he's started to relapse.

    I think the most I can do is stay in touch right now. I'm thinking of putting together something to send him once I have an address-- not really a care package, but sort of? I just don't know what I could put in there. I thought maybe pictures or something, but I'm a bit stuck.
    Last edited by Trai; 2009-09-25 at 01:57 PM.
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    No one asked you, Haley's Latent Bisexuality.

    I require a reminder as to why raining arcane destruction is not an appropriate response to all life's indignities.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Bonecrusher Doc's Avatar

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    Default Re: Friend with an eating disorder- how to help?

    Some good books or magazines with photographs to be used as bookmarks.

    He's already done the most important part - admitted that he has a problem, and sought professional help.
    Thanks to Daryk for the Paladin avatar. Darius Sungold. 1648 OOC.

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