Lightning warrior?

[Grynning]

I've seen like a dozen Lightning Warrior gags in the last couple weeks. What is this class and where is it from? I can't recall it from anywhere. And what, exactly, is the joke?

[Pharaoh's Fist]

It's a fairly weak class. It doesn't get a familiar or anything.

[Thurbane]

It's a running joke of an extremely (and deliberately) OP homebrew class at the WotC forums - don't have a link at the moment.

[Grynning]

I googled it and the only link I found to the thread seemed dead. Useful advice for anyone else who googles it - use advanced search and exclude the word "Raidy," otherwise you will get a bunch of crap relating to some Hentai game. Or don't, if that's your thing...

[daggaz]

The funniest part about it were all the mentally deficient people who actually took it seriously and started flaming the OP, often with highly detailed discussions of the rules and balance set up to prove their points.

It was such an obvious joke, and really well pulled off. No familiar! Man! Honestly, I dont know how dragons survive as long as they do, being mere sorcerers and all, with such wimpy little HD on top of it all..

Lightning warrior was basically a full casting wizard with like every good ability from every class dumped in.

Off the top of my head, it had d20 hit die, all good saves progressions, ability to use all weapons and armors (I wanna say with no ASF either), TWF for free and I think some other ranger abilities, wizards spell list but spontaneous casting like a sorcerer and double the sorcerers normal spells per day, I think treated metamagic as a wizard, somehow ended up being able to cast divine spells full progression as well I believe, and hmm... was there anything else?

Oh yeah, no familiar. That was the main justification for its power, toying with a funny logical argument based on how wizards are teh pwn.

[Keld Denar]

In the google cache'ed files, I found:

http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cache...&gl=us&strip=1

Spoiler

Show

Class Skills
The Lightning Warrior’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Decipher Script (Int), Handle Animal (Cha), Heal (Wis), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Knowledge (all skills, taken individually) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Ride (Dex), Search (Int), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Swim (Str), and Use Rope (Dex).
Skill Points at 1st Level
(6 + Int modifier) ×4.
Skill Points at Each Additional Level
6 + Int modifier.


Lightning Warrior
Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special

1st +1 +2 +2 +2 Bonus feat, Two-Weapon Mastery
2nd +2 +3 +3 +3
3rd +3 +3 +3 +3
4th +4 +4 +4 +4
5th +5 +4 +4 +4 Bonus feat
6th +6/+1 +5 +5 +5 Improved Two-Weapon Mastery
7th +7/+2 +5 +5 +5
8th +8/+3 +6 +6 +6
9th +9/+4 +6 +6 +6
10th +10/+5 +7 +7 +7 Bonus feat
11th +11/+6/+1 +7 +7 +7 Greater Two-Weapon Mastery
12th +12/+7/+2 +8 +8 +8
13th +13/+8/+3 +8 +8 +8
14th +14/+9/+4 +9 +9 +9
15th +15/+10/+5 +9 +9 +9 Bonus feat
16th +16/+11/+6/+1 +10 +10 +10 Perfect Two-Weapon Mastery
17th +17/+12/+7/+2 +10 +10 +10
18th +18/+13/+8/+3 +11 +11 +11
19th +19/+14/+9/+4 +11 +11 +11
20th +20/+15/+10/+5 +12 +12 +12 Bonus feat



Spells Per Day
Level 0 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th
1st 5 3 — — — — — — — —
2nd 6 4 — — — — — — — —
3rd 6 4 3 — — — — — — —
4th 6 5 4 — — — — — — —
5th 6 5 4 3 — — — — — —
6th 6 5 5 4 — — — — — —
7th 6 6 5 4 3 — — — — —
8th 6 6 5 5 4 — — — — —
9th 6 6 6 5 4 3 — — — —
10th 6 6 6 5 5 4 — — — —
11th 6 6 6 6 5 4 3 — — —
12th 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 — — —
13th 6 6 6 6 6 5 4 3 — —
14th 6 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 — —
15th 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 4 3 —
16th 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 —
17th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 4 3
18th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 5 4
19th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 5
20th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6


Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Lightning Warrior.


Weapon and Armor Proficiency
Lightning Warriors are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with light armor.

A Lightning Warrior can cast spells while wearing light armor without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. However, like any other arcane spellcaster, a Lightning Warrior wearing medium or heavy armor or using a shield incurs a chance of arcane spell failure if the spell in question has a somatic component (most do). A Lightning Warrior still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

In addition, the Lightning Warrior may perform a spell with a somatic and/or material component even while holding a weapon in each hand. Casting a spell in this way still provokes an attack of opportunity. The Lightning Warrior can deliver a touch spell through a weapon attack (either a melee touch attack or a normal melee attack).

Spells
A lightning warrior casts arcane spells which are drawn from the sorcerer/wizard spell list. A lightning warrior must choose and prepare her spells ahead of time (see below).

To learn, prepare, or cast a spell, the lightning warrior must have an Intelligence score equal to at least 10 + the spell level. The Difficulty Class for a saving throw against a lightning warrior’s spell is 10 + the spell level + the lightning warrior’s Intelligence modifier.

Like other spellcasters, a lightning warrior can cast only a certain number of spells of each spell level per day. Her base daily spell allotment is given on Table: The Lightning warrior. In addition, he receives bonus spells per day if he has a high Intelligence score.

Unlike a bard or sorcerer, a lightning warrior may know any number of spells. He must choose and prepare her spells ahead of time by getting a good night’s sleep and spending 1 hour studying. While studying, the lightning warrior decides which spells to prepare.

A lightning warrior begins play with all 0-level lightning warrior spells plus six 1st-level spells of your choice. For each point of Intelligence bonus the Lightning warrior has, he receives two additional 1st-level spells of your choice. At each new lightning warrior level, he gains four new spells of any spell level or levels that he can cast.

Unlike the wizard, the Lightning Warrior does not need to use a spellbook, he simply memorizes his spells. The Lightning Warrior can learn spells from scrolls in the same manner wizards do, but do not need to spend money copying the scroll, as he simply looks at it and memorizes it.


Bonus Feats
At 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, and 20th level, a Lightning Warrior gains a bonus feat. At each such opportunity, he can choose a metamagic feat, an item creation feat, or a fighter feat. The lightning warrior must still meet all prerequisites for a bonus feat, including caster level minimums.
These bonus feats are in addition to the feat that a character of any class gets from advancing levels. The lightning warrior is not limited to the categories of item creation feats, metamagic feats, or fighter feats when choosing these feats.

Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Two-Weapon Fighting and Two-Weapon Defense feats as bonus feats at 1st level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for them.

Improved Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Improved Two-Weapon Fighting and Improved Two-Weapon Defense (Complete Warrior) feats as bonus feats 6th level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for them.

Greater Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Greater Two-Weapon Fighting and Greater Two-Weapon Defense (Complete Warrior) feats as bonus feats at 11th level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for it.

Perfect Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Perfect Two-Weapon Fighting feat (complete warrior) as a bonus feat at 16th level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for it.


At first glance, the lightning warrior looks like a weaker version of the wizard, due to the fact that it lacks a familiar and can’t specialize in a school like most wizards can. However, the special abilities and increased stats of the class help it catch up to the wizard somewhat, though it will probably continue to lag behind it. Trained in the arts of war, the Lightning Warrior has a bit more hp than a normal wizard, and can fight with two swords in order to offset his loss of his familiar. He gets a couple more spells to offset his lack of ability to specialize in a school of magic.

This is a class which truly sacrifices power for flavor.

[olentu]

It's a fairly weak class. It doesn't get a familiar or anything.

Don't forget the fact that it can't specialize making it even weaker.

[SparkMandriller]

OH GOD TO MUCH TO MUCH STUPEDNES


That thread was pretty cool, yeah.

[sonofzeal]

OH GOD TO MUCH TO MUCH STUPEDNES


That thread was pretty cool, yeah.

The thread was frigging hilarious!

Please tell me it's been saved for posterity, flames and all....

[Paulus]

In the google cache'ed files, I found:

http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cache...&gl=us&strip=1

Spoiler

Show

Class Skills
The Lightning Warrior’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Decipher Script (Int), Handle Animal (Cha), Heal (Wis), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Knowledge (all skills, taken individually) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Ride (Dex), Search (Int), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Swim (Str), and Use Rope (Dex).
Skill Points at 1st Level
(6 + Int modifier) ×4.
Skill Points at Each Additional Level
6 + Int modifier.


Lightning Warrior
Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special

1st +1 +2 +2 +2 Bonus feat, Two-Weapon Mastery
2nd +2 +3 +3 +3
3rd +3 +3 +3 +3
4th +4 +4 +4 +4
5th +5 +4 +4 +4 Bonus feat
6th +6/+1 +5 +5 +5 Improved Two-Weapon Mastery
7th +7/+2 +5 +5 +5
8th +8/+3 +6 +6 +6
9th +9/+4 +6 +6 +6
10th +10/+5 +7 +7 +7 Bonus feat
11th +11/+6/+1 +7 +7 +7 Greater Two-Weapon Mastery
12th +12/+7/+2 +8 +8 +8
13th +13/+8/+3 +8 +8 +8
14th +14/+9/+4 +9 +9 +9
15th +15/+10/+5 +9 +9 +9 Bonus feat
16th +16/+11/+6/+1 +10 +10 +10 Perfect Two-Weapon Mastery
17th +17/+12/+7/+2 +10 +10 +10
18th +18/+13/+8/+3 +11 +11 +11
19th +19/+14/+9/+4 +11 +11 +11
20th +20/+15/+10/+5 +12 +12 +12 Bonus feat



Spells Per Day
Level 0 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th
1st 5 3 — — — — — — — —
2nd 6 4 — — — — — — — —
3rd 6 4 3 — — — — — — —
4th 6 5 4 — — — — — — —
5th 6 5 4 3 — — — — — —
6th 6 5 5 4 — — — — — —
7th 6 6 5 4 3 — — — — —
8th 6 6 5 5 4 — — — — —
9th 6 6 6 5 4 3 — — — —
10th 6 6 6 5 5 4 — — — —
11th 6 6 6 6 5 4 3 — — —
12th 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 — — —
13th 6 6 6 6 6 5 4 3 — —
14th 6 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 — —
15th 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 4 3 —
16th 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 —
17th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 4 3
18th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 5 4
19th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 5 5
20th 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6


Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Lightning Warrior.


Weapon and Armor Proficiency
Lightning Warriors are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with light armor.

A Lightning Warrior can cast spells while wearing light armor without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. However, like any other arcane spellcaster, a Lightning Warrior wearing medium or heavy armor or using a shield incurs a chance of arcane spell failure if the spell in question has a somatic component (most do). A Lightning Warrior still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

In addition, the Lightning Warrior may perform a spell with a somatic and/or material component even while holding a weapon in each hand. Casting a spell in this way still provokes an attack of opportunity. The Lightning Warrior can deliver a touch spell through a weapon attack (either a melee touch attack or a normal melee attack).

Spells
A lightning warrior casts arcane spells which are drawn from the sorcerer/wizard spell list. A lightning warrior must choose and prepare her spells ahead of time (see below).

To learn, prepare, or cast a spell, the lightning warrior must have an Intelligence score equal to at least 10 + the spell level. The Difficulty Class for a saving throw against a lightning warrior’s spell is 10 + the spell level + the lightning warrior’s Intelligence modifier.

Like other spellcasters, a lightning warrior can cast only a certain number of spells of each spell level per day. Her base daily spell allotment is given on Table: The Lightning warrior. In addition, he receives bonus spells per day if he has a high Intelligence score.

Unlike a bard or sorcerer, a lightning warrior may know any number of spells. He must choose and prepare her spells ahead of time by getting a good night’s sleep and spending 1 hour studying. While studying, the lightning warrior decides which spells to prepare.

A lightning warrior begins play with all 0-level lightning warrior spells plus six 1st-level spells of your choice. For each point of Intelligence bonus the Lightning warrior has, he receives two additional 1st-level spells of your choice. At each new lightning warrior level, he gains four new spells of any spell level or levels that he can cast.

Unlike the wizard, the Lightning Warrior does not need to use a spellbook, he simply memorizes his spells. The Lightning Warrior can learn spells from scrolls in the same manner wizards do, but do not need to spend money copying the scroll, as he simply looks at it and memorizes it.


Bonus Feats
At 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, and 20th level, a Lightning Warrior gains a bonus feat. At each such opportunity, he can choose a metamagic feat, an item creation feat, or a fighter feat. The lightning warrior must still meet all prerequisites for a bonus feat, including caster level minimums.
These bonus feats are in addition to the feat that a character of any class gets from advancing levels. The lightning warrior is not limited to the categories of item creation feats, metamagic feats, or fighter feats when choosing these feats.

Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Two-Weapon Fighting and Two-Weapon Defense feats as bonus feats at 1st level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for them.

Improved Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Improved Two-Weapon Fighting and Improved Two-Weapon Defense (Complete Warrior) feats as bonus feats 6th level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for them.

Greater Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Greater Two-Weapon Fighting and Greater Two-Weapon Defense (Complete Warrior) feats as bonus feats at 11th level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for it.

Perfect Two-Weapon Mastery
A Lightning Warrior receives the Perfect Two-Weapon Fighting feat (complete warrior) as a bonus feat at 16th level, even if he doesn’t meet the prerequisites for it.


At first glance, the lightning warrior looks like a weaker version of the wizard, due to the fact that it lacks a familiar and can’t specialize in a school like most wizards can. However, the special abilities and increased stats of the class help it catch up to the wizard somewhat, though it will probably continue to lag behind it. Trained in the arts of war, the Lightning Warrior has a bit more hp than a normal wizard, and can fight with two swords in order to offset his loss of his familiar. He gets a couple more spells to offset his lack of ability to specialize in a school of magic.

This is a class which truly sacrifices power for flavor.

Don't forget the fact that it can't specialize making it even weaker.

You know I was considering it, it looked exactly like the kind of class i've been dreaming of. Until you said he looses specialization. Right now I'm having a hard time suppressing my outrage at that!! It's like the Green Star Adapet all over again. No specialization? you might as well take away the wizard's ability to use divination spells to prepare for every battle and the assumption that every encounter the wizard has to face he can face with full spells readied and with hours and hours of before time preparation as well as a goodnight's sleep, and his spell book readily at hand, and the pleasure to address the problem whenever he felt like it!

I mean what are we trying to do here people? Flavor?! in sacrifice of exactly what it is that makes a wizard God and Batman!? I hope you are happy, I've already reported your post because it is clearly solely meant to incite anger. I just can't even look at you right now. Can I get a mod to lock this? Pelase??

[olentu]

and his spell book readily at hand

Looks like you are going to be even more disappointed.

Unlike the wizard, the Lightning Warrior does not need to use a spellbook, he simply memorizes his spells.

[Paulus]

Looks like you are going to be even more disappointed.

PPP PP PP!! Oh well that alright... at least they didn't nerf his ability to have to research and study spells for years to become a Wizard. After all, even these fools know they can't sacrifice THAT kind of power. Especially not for flavor.

[olentu]

PPP PP PP!! Oh well that alright... at least they didn't nerf his ability to have to research and study spells for years to become a Wizard. After all, even these fools know they can't sacrifice THAT kind of power. Especially not for flavor.

Could you elaborate a bit?

I think I may have to rain on your parade a bit more with this but I can not be sure.

The Lightning Warrior can learn spells from scrolls in the same manner wizards do, but do not need to spend money copying the scroll, as he simply looks at it and memorizes it.

[Paulus]

Could you elaborate a bit?

I think I may have to rain on your parade a bit more with this but I can not be sure.

NO, no, no, that's not what I meant at all. See here from the PHB:
"These simple acts make magic seem easy, but they only hint at the time the wizard must spend poring over her spellbook preparing each spell for casting, and the years before that spent in apprenticeship to learn the arts of magic. Wizards depend on intensive study to create their magic. They examine musty old tomes, debate magical theory with their peers, and practice minor magics whenever they can. For a wizard, magic is
not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art."

See? Wizards have the unique ability to study and research for years before they can cast a single spell, which is what makes them so powerful. It is obviously one their most powerful features, second only to Specialization and third only to their familiar. There is NO WAY anyone would be STUPED enough to removed this feature for mere 'flavor'.

[Elfin]

Hilarious thread.

[olentu]

NO, no, no, that's not what I meant at all. See here from the PHB:
"These simple acts make magic seem easy, but they only hint at the time the wizard must spend poring over her spellbook preparing each spell for casting, and the years before that spent in apprenticeship to learn the arts of magic. Wizards depend on intensive study to create their magic. They examine musty old tomes, debate magical theory with their peers, and practice minor magics whenever they can. For a wizard, magic is
not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art."

See? Wizards have the unique ability to study and research for years before they can cast a single spell, which is what makes them so powerful. It is obviously one their most powerful features, second only to Specialization and third only to their familiar. There is NO WAY anyone would be STUPED enough to removed this feature for mere 'flavor'.

I can see how one might miss it since the spoiler was missing the class description but unfortunately the class description only has this.

The Lightning Warrior is a powerful fighter and an excellent spellcaster. Trained in the arts of war, he wields his two blades with perfect form and fires off spell after spell at his foes. He is named the Lightning Warrior for he can slay his enemies faster than lightning itself!

[Paulus]

I can see how one might miss it since the spoiler was missing the class description but unfortunately the class description only has this.

. . .

You've been reported. This farce will continue no longer! NO LONGER I SAY!
This can't possibly exist, I've never seen such an underpowered class. No familiar, no specialization, no need to research and study their spells for years before they can ever cast them?! Where is the caster power? This removes ALL of the power from the Batman and GOD types, I could see it as MAYBE a gestalt to add to a REAL wizard, Maybe THEN it could be good enough for SOMETHING, but this sacrifices far too much for flavor. FAR TOO MUCH. I'll thank you to remove this from the thread entirely. and Keep it from my sight, we don't need this kind of nonsense cluttering up our otherwise Wizard worshiping optimization discussions.

I have to go now, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

[olentu]

. . .

You've been reported. This farce will continue no longer! NO LONGER I SAY!
This can't possibly exist, I've never seen such an underpowered class. No familiar, no specialization, no need to research and study their spells for years before they can ever cast them?! Where is the caster power? This removes ALL of the power from the Batman and GOD types, I could see it as MAYBE a gestalt to add to a REAL wizard, Maybe THEN it could be good enough for SOMETHING, but this sacrifices far too much for flavor. FAR TOO MUCH. I'll thank you to remove this from the thread entirely. and Keep it from my sight, we don't need this kind of nonsense cluttering up our otherwise Wizard worshiping optimization discussions.

I have to go now, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

I am sorry that you disliked the class so much but some people do choose classes based on their flavor even though they will have to deal with being underpowered. In any case it was nice talking to you and I am glad that I could bring to your attention some things about the underpowered nature of the class as I would not want you to choose the class based on flavor and then later discover that you are underpowered.

[Mongoose87]

I am sorry that you disliked the class so much but some people do choose classes based on their flavor even though they will have to deal with being underpowered. In any case it was nice talking to you and I am glad that I could bring to your attention some things about the underpowered nature of the class as I would not want you to choose the class based on flavor and then later discover that you are underpowered.

If it wasn't for those people, what would the Planar Shepherd be for?

[Superglucose]

It's a fairly weak class. It doesn't get a familiar or anything.

Also twf? So supbar without bonus damage, and ALSO it doesn't get favored weapons or animal companions! Plus can't it only wear light armor?

[SparkMandriller]

Bumping a thread just to tell a joke that everyone's already heard? Not so cool.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Bumping a thread just to tell a joke that everyone's already heard? Not so cool.

Hey it wasn't Thread Necromancy, it was only a week or two old. Besides, it's come up a lot in my optimization contest thread, and it confused a couple of people, so a bump was within the code of conduct for the forum.

Not everyone, apparently, has heard of the Lightning Warrior.

[Douglas]

What, no perform skill? Weak.

[SparkMandriller]

I'm not saying it was necromancy. I'm just saying that everyone else heard his joke ten days to two years ago. Kinda old by now.

[Douglas]

You have a rather strange definition of "everyone". I'm sure I am not alone in having never heard of this class before.

[Eldan]

Since it's called lightning warrior, it sould also treat all weapons as shocking. And gain a permanent 3.0 haste, to make up for the lack of familiars.

[Superglucose]

Bumping a thread just to tell a joke that everyone's already heard? Not so cool.

My bad, pretty sure this wasn't that far down on page 1. Must've accidentally been on page2 or 3 somehow

[SparkMandriller]

I'm never going to forgive you.


Ever.

[Deth Muncher]

I'm never going to forgive you.


Ever.

I wouldn't either.

[BobVosh]

I think my favorite bit is the outraged self promotion plug:

06-17-07, 09:59 AM
I came here after seeing this class self promoted in another thread. Since I have a hard time getting responses to my Engetsu Shinobi I thought it would be only fair to support a fellow home brewer.

What in the...?

d20 hitdice?

Power for flavor?!! What flavor? The only thing even mentioned is some lame machismo about how he can kill quick as lighting. Check out my Engetsu Shinobi. It in itself is sometimes referred to as overpowered, but most people tend to back off that stance after really reading it through. More importantly though, there is a variant called the "riaru" which also gets full AB and 9th spells. It is presented as intentionally unbalanced since it revolves entirely around flavor and is only for gestalt or high powered games, and even it comes NOWHERE close to this garbage which "gives up power for flavor".

Thanks a lot for helping to give homebrew works a bad name.

DC