Something X that isn't X at all

[Gaius Marius]

Please help this non-native English speaker.

I am trying to make a witty point in a text where
I say conventional wisdom is no wisdom at all. So I try to find an example of something named "Something X is not an X".

An idea I had is "People's Democratic Republic is not democratic", but I'd rather avoid political-flavored jokes. People have an alternative?

[Zherog]

Common Sense isn't very common.

Does that fit what you're looking for?

[hamishspence]

"Friendly fire, isn't."

[The Glyphstone]

Military intelligence isn't intelligent?

[hamishspence]

"They said it was foolproof. They underestimated the ingenuity of fools".

[Gaius Marius]

Common Sense isn't very common.

Does that fit what you're looking for?

Pretty much, but too close to the original point.

I like Friendly Fire. Military intelligence is also a keeper.

Keep them coming!! :-D

[Ravens_cry]

What you are looking for is a kind of oxymoron. There is some good examples on the wikipedia page, you could also Google "oxymoron" for others.

[LaZodiac]

I can't believe it's not Butter is a type of butter that is not actually butter, if that helps.

[Mando Knight]

"Friendly fire, isn't."

Suppressing fire doesn't.

"Adult situations" are often quite immature.

[hamishspence]

Smart bombs aren't.

[Mono Vertigo]

Artificial Intelligence isn't very intelligent.
... why do so many examples revolve on intelligence? It's starting to worry me.

[hamishspence]

Civil warfare, isn't.

[Lady Moreta]

Best oxymoron I've ever heard...

Microsoft Works

[Gaius Marius]

I'd rather go for something not insulting against a particular groups, be it social, economical or political.

I guess an oxymoron would be what I look for, but maybe not exactly. I am looking at something that is.. I don't know.. some sort of ethymology artifact.

"inflammable" --> is flammable

demilich --> isn't actually half a lich

and so. Something that it's true name is simply completely remote from what it's actually is.

"Greenland" --> isn't green

[ForzaFiori]

Yea, for some reason, english decided that inflammable and flammable should mean the same, which has probably caused uncountable amounts of non-native english speakers to catch things on fire.

Also, Greenland is covered in ice, while Iceland has plants. The wonders of advertising.

[LaZodiac]

Yea, for some reason, english decided that inflammable and flammable should mean the same, which has probably caused uncountable amounts of non-native english speakers to catch things on fire.

Also, Greenland is covered in ice, while Iceland has plants. The wonders of advertising.

Literally. The dude that discovered said lands named them such to trick people like that for that exact purpose.

Also, I can't think of another example, sorry.

[Mando Knight]

"inflammable" --> is flammable

Actually, you've got it backwards... ish.

The original term was inflammable, as it was able to be inflamed. Flammable is etymologically a corruption of the term that was adopted because enough people stopped at comparing it to words like indestructible rather than looking up the contextual meaning of the prefix. The acceptance of flammable has only worsened the issue.

[hamishspence]

Peking duck isn't duck.

Rock salmon isn't salmon.

Buffalo wings aren't wings.

Etc.

(The funny bone isn't especially funny either )

[Serpentine]

Literally. The dude that discovered said lands named them such to trick people like that for that exact purpose.

Probably actually not true. It is currently believed that Greenland probably was relatively ice-free when... was it Lief or Erik? originally discovered it.

Peking duck isn't duck.

What?

[hamishspence]

Sorry, got the place name wrong. I was thinking of Bombay Duck:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombay_Duck

[Zeb The Troll]

Military intelligence isn't intelligent?

I cannot tell you how much I hate this. If you don't want to insult people, never make this implication.

Buffalo wings aren't wings.

What Buffalo wings are you eating? Do you mean Buffalo wings don't come from buffalo? They most certainly ARE wings.

[Murdim]

Microsoft Works

Don't forget Microsoft Excel.

Guinea pigs are not from Guinea. They're also more closely related to humans than to pigs.

Antibiotics and antibodies actually protect your biosis and your body.

On the other hand, many "antiviruses" are themselves malware. Famous examples include Internet Antivirus 2011, Advanced Virus Remover, MacDefender and Norton Antivirus.

A "friendly warning" is a polite threat, and thus way less friendly than your average warning.

[hamishspence]

What Buffalo wings are you eating? Do you mean Buffalo wings don't come from buffalo? They most certainly ARE wings.

I've never eaten them- only know them from that one OoTS strip where Belkar eats them and complains.

Must have gotten confused- thought they were bits of buffalo that were shaped like wings but aren't, rather than wings that come from a place called Buffalo.

[Gaius Marius]

Buffalo wings are the biggest rip-off of all time. If you buy "10 wings", they'll give you 10 half-wings!!!

They cut their cost in half that way. Grrrr

[The Succubus]

I cannot tell you how much I hate this. If you don't want to insult people, never make this implication.

What Buffalo wings are you eating? Do you mean Buffalo wings don't come from buffalo? They most certainly ARE wings.

Bufflo Wings are actually a hot-sauce covered projectile weapon.

[LaZodiac]

Eggplant is neither egg, nor plant. What's up with that!

[ghost_warlock]

Kitten Chow isn't made from kittens.

Long pork isn't made from pigs.

Snail mail isn't correspondence sent by Gastropods.

Seth Green is actually sort of a pinkish color.

Eggplant is neither egg, nor plant. What's up with that!

It's a berry, how is that not a plant?

[Serpentine]

Baby food.
That actually caused problems in Japan...

[LaZodiac]

It's a berry, how is that not a plant?

I'm just going off of what I heard.

[Serpentine]

So... Out of curiosity, if what you've heard says it's not a plant, then what have you heard it is?