Stay or go?

[Eon]

Okay, my original thread has been eaten by the imaginary page monster so i'm making another with more things and i'll try to include what was on the old one too.
maybe i'll just list them with dots

• threatening to kill characters if he gets annoyed at us

• telling me that we are having dnd at my house without asking

• railroading alot!

• blaming me if something happens

• telling me when/where we are having dnd, the night before

• gets mad at me if i can't make it/assumes i don't have a life

• too easy of fights

• trying to get me to print all of the other peoples character sheets using the WOTC character builder, even though he has it

and that's just some of it.

should i stay our should i go?

[Akal Saris]

stay!

with a trainwreck like this, will you really be able to look away?

[Arakune]

Okay, my original thread has been eaten by the imaginary page monster so i'm making another with more things and i'll try to include what was on the old one too.
maybe i'll just list them with dots

• threatening to kill characters if he gets annoyed at us

• telling me that we are having dnd at my house without asking

• railroading alot!

• blaming me if something happens

• telling me when/where we are having dnd, the night before

• gets mad at me if i can't make it/assumes i don't have a life

• too easy of fights

• trying to get me to print all of the other peoples character sheets using the WOTC character builder, even though he has it

and that's just some of it.

should i stay our should i go?

That looks like a certain guy I know

Dunno, talk to him first. You have a lot of good points. Are the others with the same problems?

[Dust]

The 'imaginary page monster' may have been an actual thread deletion. That being said, I just woke up and think this is a legit question, if a fairly straightforward answer.

I'm assuming you're talking about your GM, who is also a friend? I would say that your GM is fairly juvenile just for the 'threatening to kill characters if he gets annoyed at us' one - the rest of the things you listed could be interpreted differently depending on the viewpoint.

That said, since you seem to be looking for a simple answer, I'd suggest that you find a new GM, yes.

[Reaper_Monkey]

Go. Go quickly. Go quickly and leave acme explosives. Only then can you be sure you've gone far enough.

Either that or stand up to them/replace them (seems your doing most of the heavy lifting and can ID poor DMing skills), I guess you could be diplomatic and just talk things over expressing how much these bullet pointed issues are irritating you and request for them to reform. But that leaves little room for explosives, so best stick with the original plan. Good luck, and bring ear plugs.

[Eon]

The imaginary page monster is actually a joke from when i used to play runescape and they had a page 51 monster that ate your threads when they got there.

also, me and the dm are the only ones that have played before so they don't know the difference.

and i have talked to him before and he just acts suprised and denies it.

[Telonius]

Rule of thumb: if you aren't having fun, leave. I promise you there is more than one DM in the world.

[Guancyto]

Dunno, talk to him first.

Definitely this, if he is a friend. Oh, and with

-telling me that we are having dnd at my house without asking
-telling me when/where we are having dnd, the night before
-gets mad at me if i can't make it/assumes i don't have a life
-trying to get me to print all of the other peoples character sheets using the WOTC character builder, even though he has it

Some variant of "this game is not my job and it isn't yours either" might help. If he's DMing all newbies except you, he's probably feeling a lot of pressure and may be counting on you for help. Trying to get him to chill out a little might be the best way.

[Zeta Kai]

I agree that you should leave. It's a game, & meant to be fun. If it's not fun, then it's not worth playing. There are more productive ways to crunch numbers if you aren't gonna enjoy yourself.

That said, I have to ask: What are his good qualities? What keeps you playing, or at least hesitating to go?

[Eon]

I agree that you should leave. It's a game, & meant to be fun. If it's not fun, then it's not worth playing. There are more productive ways to crunch numbers if you aren't gonna enjoy yourself.

That said, I have to ask: What are his good qualities? What keeps you playing, or at least hesitating to go?

A) we are friends (even though he was directly responsible for my wow addiction)
B) he got me into my first group for dnd (a different dm, much better)
C) i don't get to play dnd much
D) probably some more stuff

[Kylarra]

I'm not seeing a really good reason to stay.

[Eon]

i hope you all understand, but i'm only turning 14 in a few days, and i find it hard to do that to friends....

[Kylarra]

i hope you all understand, but i'm only turning 14 in a few days, and i find it hard to do that to friends....

Even at 13 there's something called "common courtesy", which your DM doesn't appear to be showing.

[Vangor]

A few of those are simply a person being a jerk. I mean, having a DM with too easy of combat or railroading or a few other pitfalls is not the worst when you can have fun with friends. However, many of those negatives are personality traits, which happens to influence his DMing but mean being his friend probably is not that worthwhile.

Does not matter what you do, you ask about using a house and you shouldn't be getting pissed if people are unavailable. The night before, eh, happens.

[jiriku]

So you've already told him you're unhappy, and he doesn't care, huh?

It sounds like this is a friend you want to keep, but who treats you in a bullying, insensitive way. It also sounds like you don't enjoy playing in his games very much.

Leave politely. If he asks why you left, answer honestly. He's your friend, so he deserves to know the truth. He's not likely to change his ways, but if you treat him with respect while refusing to allow him to disrespect you, you should still be able to maintain your friendship with him.

And the others are right. There's always another DM out there looking for new group members.

[Elfin]

I have to agree with everyone who's saying you should leave. It doesn't sound like you're having fun, and I'm sure you'll be able to find another DM.

[Ehra]

Your first step should be to tell him that he's being a jerk and you'd like him to stop. Too often people never tell anyone that they're upset and then they flip out and no one knows why. There are a TON of otherwise intelligent adults out there that honestly have no clue that they come across as jerks at times, and if they're told they'll usually adjust if it's a reasonable request. At age 14 it's only going to be more common.

People are obnoxious at that age. Give them a reason to stop being obnoxious and chances are they will.

[Godskook]

If you have to ask if you should stay or go, you should probably go. Typically, someone won't bother asking unless they're pretty sure already, and just looking for the 'moral support' to go through with it. From personal experience, I can tell you that walking away with class will sometimes provoke change(staying when they aren't listening, won't).

[Mastikator]

and i have talked to him before and he just acts suprised and denies it.

Maybe he doesn't know.
Get him red handed the next time he does any of the things mentioned, he can't deny it right after he did it.

Well, he can, but he'll lose all credibility and that's a surefire sign you should go.

[The Glyphstone]

Wait, he's hosting games at YOUR house without asking you, telling you instead?

This isn't a friend, it's a bully using you as a doormat.

[chiasaur11]

Well, if you stay there could be trouble.

And if you go there could be double.

Clash references aside:

Go. Definitely, for reasons said above.

[Zeta Kai]

i hope you all understand, but i'm only turning 14 in a few days, and i find it hard to do that to friends....

Then do what so many of us didn't learn to do until much later in life: Don't waste time with people who make you unhappy. I wish that I hadn't flushed away so much time with so-called friends who were never there when I needed them, & always there to drag me down when I was better off alone. Be kind & courteous to everyone who deserves it, but don't subject yourself to those who don't deserve you.

[Paulus]

First of all make it clear that this is a game, and he is seriously edging on ruining your friendship for good with his actions, over sed game. Tell him exactly what you have told us, and then listen to what he has to say. Tell him you don't want to loose him as a friend, but he has been acting very strange lately, and maybe the DM stuff has been to hard for him. Offer to help him out, and if he flat out refuses on all counts. well... Next, offer to Dm for the group, show your other friends how it's suppose to go. Make sure you do everything you are suppose to, make it fun. Then let the other players decide who they would like to DM, and if your previous DM doesn't shape up... ship him out. and stick with the group. Rotate DMing. HAVE FUN. D&D is never suppose to be a reason to break up friendships, nor cause stress. If either is happening, it isn't the D&D my friend... and some situations you'll just have to sort out heedless of the game or not.

[Kiren]

Keep a checklist for a couple of sessions of the things you mentioned in the first post, then talk to him about it, use the checklist as backup if he denies it.

[Hadrian_Emrys]

By all means, stay. I want to see how many more of these threads you make before the reality of the situation, and the true nature of your 'friendship' with this guy, finally sink in.

[Eon]

First of all make it clear that this is a game, and he is seriously edging on ruining your friendship for good with his actions, over sed game. Tell him exactly what you have told us, and then listen to what he has to say. Tell him you don't want to loose him as a friend, but he has been acting very strange lately, and maybe the DM stuff has been to hard for him. Offer to help him out, and if he flat out refuses on all counts. well... Next, offer to Dm for the group, show your other friends how it's suppose to go. Make sure you do everything you are suppose to, make it fun. Then let the other players decide who they would like to DM, and if your previous DM doesn't shape up... ship him out. and stick with the group. Rotate DMing. HAVE FUN. D&D is never suppose to be a reason to break up friendships, nor cause stress. If either is happening, it isn't the D&D my friend... and some situations you'll just have to sort out heedless of the game or not.

that would be a good idea, but it won't happen. most of the other players are on his side... though they don't know much of the arguement...

[Physics_Rook]

As mentioned many times before, the game is supposed to be fun to play.

If your friend is making things difficult for you, let him know as early as possible. Waiting will only make it harder to talk to him about it.

If you think that he'll be angry or even violent, then maybe you should talk to him while the other players are present (safety in numbers).

Another thing to do, is talk to your parents about it.
It might feel a little weird, but talking to your parents is a little like calling down a tactical nuke.

You'll want to try other options first, but if all else fails, evacuate the area and drop the big one on him.

[Fiendish_Dire_Moose]

Leave the game. Just go. If you're 14 it's only going to get worse.

Oh, and being told the night before, is okay.
I don't even get that. I plan us to meet up for a game a month in advance, and on the day we are supposed to play, half the group is missing, and cannot be contacted.
I don't organize for my IRL group anymore. I got tired of scheduling just for them to piss on me.
So, save yourself the headaches.

[Kallisti]

If he's your friend, talk to him first, but if you've already tried talking to him out of the game and he still won't be reasonable, go. Quickly.

[herrhauptmann]

You're 14. I assume everyone playing lives in the neighborhood, right? No one's asking their parents for a ride to the game?

Then unless every book is stashed in your basement, there's no reason to NOT put your foot down and say "Can't or won't" If he doesn't accept that, a)he's not much of a friend b) use the parents as an excuse.

Seriously dude as far as DMing issues, if they bother you, take over DMing for a while, show him how to do it instead of telling him how to improve.

With the people issues though, you need more level and rational heads than you're liable to get among teens. So back out of the game for a while. And why do you have to keep printing out other peoples character sheets?