Donkey Bombing the Dungeon [3.5]

[subject42]

Quick question 1: Is this legal?
Quick question 2: If it's legal, how can I make it more absurd?

My gaming group is running the Tomb of Horrors next weekend (8th level characters), and I've been tasked with making a character for my roommate.

The shenanigan level in this game is going to be pretty high, so I figured that I would make a straight Druid 8 and spend all of the character's wealth by level on wilding clasps, and as many Survival Pouches (from MiC) as possible.

Since one survival pouch will let you spawn up to 5 donkey's per day, and I should be able to afford 4 of them, it seems like it would be the ultimate trap finding / flanking / shenanigans tool.

Seriously, 20 donkeys per day is nothing to sneeze at.

Is this legal?

If it is legal, what other absurdity can I pull off with similar items?

[t_catt11]

I won't rule on the legality, since I'm not your DM, but I applaud you for the sheer combination of absurdity and utility.

[Fishy]

If you survive long enough to take Druid 9, the Summon Elemental feat does all this and more.

[subject42]

If you survive long enough to take Druid 9, the Summon Elemental feat does all this and more.

It's ToH, so that's probably unlikely.

[Gan The Grey]

Of course, this will most likely ruin the fun and atmosphere of the dungeon...

[BRC]

If I were the DM, you would do this, only to get attacked by Eyore, God of Donkey's, who disapproves of you using his children this way.

[subject42]

Of course, this will most likely ruin the fun and atmosphere of the dungeon...

We're about two steps off of it turning into a drinking game, so that isn't too much of a concern.

[Starbuck_II]

Quick question 1: Is this legal?
Quick question 2: If it's legal, how can I make it more absurd?

My gaming group is running the Tomb of Horrors next weekend (8th level characters), and I've been tasked with making a character for my roommate.

The shenanigan level in this game is going to be pretty high, so I figured that I would make a straight Druid 8 and spend all of the character's wealth by level on wilding clasps, and as many Survival Pouches (from MiC) as possible.

Since one survival pouch will let you spawn up to 5 donkey's per day, and I should be able to afford 4 of them, it seems like it would be the ultimate trap finding / flanking / shenanigans tool.

Seriously, 20 donkeys per day is nothing to sneeze at.

Is this legal?

If it is legal, what other absurdity can I pull off with similar items?

This only helps with floor traps. The "pull the lever" traps and "stick head in ones" won't be helped.

But I like the idea.

[Tiktakkat]

Of course, this will most likely ruin the fun and atmosphere of the dungeon...

According to the stories, that is how Robilar survived the Tomb of Horrors.
Well, near enough. He used his captured and enlisted orcs to detect various traps.
I am not sure a donkey swarm will serve as well because of various limitations, but when dealing with an overt grudge dungeon like the Tomb of Horrors, there is very little that is against the spirit of the place.

[chiasaur11]

According to the stories, that is how Robilar survived the Tomb of Horrors.
Well, near enough. He used his captured and enlisted orcs to detect various traps.
I am not sure a donkey swarm will serve as well because of various limitations, but when dealing with an overt grudge dungeon like the Tomb of Horrors, there is very little that is against the spirit of the place.

And nothing that will ruin the "fun".

Can't ruin what ain't there.

[AstralFire]

Assume it is the same donkey being spawned five times a day. (Temporal shenanigans if you can have multiple out at once.)

Name him eeyore.

[Bayar]

If you stick blast disks in the donkey's saddlebags, you can really bomb the dungeon with donkeys.

[subject42]

Assume it is the same donkey being spawned five times a day. (Temporal shenanigans if you can have multiple out at once.)

Name him eeyore.

I was thinking about making the donkey look more ragged and grotesque every time the character pulled it out and naming it "Donkenstein".

[KitsuneKionchi]

Not as good as the chicken railgun.

Hire 50,000 hirelings.

Have them stand shoulder to shoulder in a line towards your target.

Have them pass a chicken from one person to another. This is a free action. Assuming the 50,000 hirelings are roughly 2 feet in width (including minor distance between them), the chicken will move 100,000 feet in 6 seconds, or around 11,000 miles per hour. The chicken flies into the dungeon and blasts a hole in it.

Commoners are the best for this, since they get the chicken infested flaw that gives them unlimited free chickens half the time they pull out any item or gear...

[AstralFire]

No, no, I think the Donkey's better. There's just something visceral about its suffering.

[Heliomance]

Not as good as the chicken railgun.

Hire 50,000 hirelings.

Have them stand shoulder to shoulder in a line towards your target.

Have them pass a chicken from one person to another. This is a free action. Assuming the 50,000 hirelings are roughly 2 feet in width (including minor distance between them), the chicken will move 100,000 feet in 6 seconds, or around 11,000 miles per hour. The chicken flies into the dungeon and blasts a hole in it.

Commoners are the best for this, since they get the chicken infested flaw that gives them unlimited free chickens half the time they pull out any item or gear...

DOESN'T WORK.

Seriously, there is no such thing as momentum in D&D. The chicken flies 10 feet at the end, and either does 1d4+STR bonus damage at a -4 attack penalty for being an improvised weapon, or does no damage because it's too soft. The commoner railgun does not work.

[AstralFire]

Astral's Law of Tabletop Physics: Physics are only invoked when it makes the joke funny. They don't exist otherwise.

[Akal Saris]

I don't think it will be an issue, and really it will only be effective in the first 4-6 encounters.

I've read of another group (I think treantmonk's or JaronK's?) who didn't have a rogue or other trap-finder, so they cut down a tree and used the giant "rogue log" to probe everything ahead of them.

[Indon]

You can work in conjunction with the party Wizard to make your donkeys into actual bombs, courtesy of Explosive Runes.

Edit: Also, never underestimate the ten-foot-pole.

[Heliomance]

Astral's Law of Tabletop Physics: Physics are only invoked when it makes the joke funny. They don't exist otherwise.

Heliomance's Law of Tabletop Consistency: Funny builds are still builds, and as such must follow the rules of D&D. Momentum and damage through calculation of kinetic energy are not part of the rules of D&D.

[sofawall]

Heliomance's Law of Tabletop Consistency: Funny builds are still builds, and as such must follow the rules of D&D. Momentum and damage through calculation of kinetic energy are not part of the rules of D&D.

If you're going to use RAW to show D&D is ridiculous, don't suddenly stop using RAW at the end. Keep RAW the whole time, or you've shown basically nothing.

[AstralFire]

My law is simply describing things as they are. You are prescribing as they should be.

I generally try to follow using the system's rules only rather than relying on physics:
D&D: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=121031
SW Saga: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=120391

If you're going to use RAW to show D&D is ridiculous, don't suddenly stop using RAW at the end. Keep RAW the whole time, or you've shown basically nothing.

I don't think this is an attempt to show that D&D is ridiculous, just 'hey this is funny'.

[Myou]

According to the stories, that is how Robilar survived the Tomb of Horrors.
Well, near enough. He used his captured and enlisted orcs to detect various traps.
I am not sure a donkey swarm will serve as well because of various limitations, but when dealing with an overt grudge dungeon like the Tomb of Horrors, there is very little that is against the spirit of the place.

So how did he beat Acererak?

[KitsuneKionchi]

Heliomance's Law of Tabletop Consistency: Funny builds are still builds, and as such must follow the rules of D&D. Momentum and damage through calculation of kinetic energy are not part of the rules of D&D.

Kionchi's rule of theoretical build jokes: Even if they don't work in game, a joke is a joke is a joke.

Honestly, the railgun also has to consider the fact that commoners are, with their average strength, passing a chicken at that speeds just because the PHB says "passing an object...shoulder width...is a free action".

You want it to be pure DnD by the raw? Get a chicken infested commoner with quick draw to continously draw and drop grains of sand while another one pours it into his or her pocket. Half those grains become chickens which you fling into the dungeon via a teleportation circle or just a well placed hole in the ground. Eventually the dungeon will fill up with chickens. Wait for the chickens to starve and get an army of necromancers who can cast Chain Animate Dead and have the feat from the same dragon magazine as the flesh sculptor that allows undead to explode when they die.

Note: if the chain animated dead doesn't work, there's always the resident evil like disease spell from the Black Scrolls of Fu Leng in Magic of Rokugan. Of course, that's not WotC...I'm just more familiar with OA stuff I think...

Stand back. Magic missile one chicken. The whole temple explodes via a chain reaction of undead exploding chickens.

Really the best way to nuke a dungeon is with Transmute Rock to Lava. it create a pillar of the stuff from the center of the earth, likely filling any subterranean cavern below. Earthquake works well too. But these are 9th level spells.

Another alternative is excavation. Get some explosive spells like explosive runes, or, if your setting uses it, some black powder. Get some picks and some hirelings (preferably dwarf I suppose) and just mine out the whole dungeon. Avoid corridors, etc... until the very end and cause the whole structure to collapse upon itself. Then the hunt for treasure becomes more of a dig. Well, not a modern archaelogical dig but a "any magical treasure won't break from a single swing of my pickaxe anyways so lets just dig as fast as we can" kind of thing.

Transmute rock to flesh helps in the excavation, but it might squick out your hirelings to dig through random body parts.

Or just summon a creature that can burrow.

[Radiun]

Am I the only one who sees a problem with a druid sending animals off to die, repeatedly?
(Flavour-wise only, it's very practical)

[AstralFire]

The donkey is an abomination caused by humanity mingling two animals which seemed alike to them, yet are not. Death is the best possible mercy to them.

[KitsuneKionchi]

Maybe it was to offset overpopulation? Or maybe the druid itself is an awakened animal of that race who believes their own race is too 'distanced from nature' in the same way a human druid can believe its ok to sacrifice/kill a human to save something natural.

Or its under mind control. Magic solves everything.

EDIT: Perfect response, astralfire!

[Radiun]

The donkey is an abomination caused by humanity mingling two animals which seemed alike to them, yet are not. Death is the best possible mercy to them.

Nice try, but donkeys still have the animal type :-P

[Haven]

Nice try, but donkeys still have the animal type :-P

I'm pretty sure the druid wouldn't necessarily know that, unless they are in fact playing Order of the Stick Tomb of Horrors--

hot damn, that would be amazing.

[KitsuneKionchi]

I'm pretty sure the druid wouldn't necessarily know that, unless they are in fact playing Order of the Stick Tomb of Horrors--

hot damn, that would be amazing.

If you don't know the ToH, spoiler about a trap...

Spoiler

Show

Who would bet that Elan would stumble into that trap that sends all your clothes and gear to the end of the dungeon...