help with a campaign speech.

[Mystic Muse]

I want to use a certain speech from OOTS. however it's extremely meta and I prefer to avoid metagame discussions in character. O-chul's speech here.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0417.html

can anybody help?

[drengnikrafe]

I imagine I will be ninja'd in doing this, so I will state so first.

It would probably turn out something like this...

"Listen, I know you're confident in your abilities, but things aren't going to be a cakewalk, like the things you've experienced before, a lot of us are going to die, and you may too.

They best us 3 to 1, and they are going to swarm us like nothing you've ever seen. Let's pretend, just for a moment, that they practically never hit you. That's a big almost. You are going to get hit at some point, and it is going to hurt. And then you'll be distracted, so you'll get hit again. And again. And again.

Let's even say you can take out something like... 10 enemies, all at once, without taking a single hit. What if more than that come? Can you handle a hundred? Two-hundred? Two thousand? What if you let your guard down for a moment?

And most of the people here... they can't handle situations like you can. No, many of these ladies have never even battled a real foe. They may not be able to do anything about anything after that first hit. We could fall like dominoes. Even if we win, a lot of us WILL die. Maybe you, maybe your friends.

Take a moment. Really, really think about this. And take it seriously."

(Edited to break up text-wall)

[root9125]

You, sir, are suffering from overconfidence. I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from spreading this disease. No, don't interrupt. I want to explain something to you, and you will listen to me all the way through.

You are an extremely powerful man. It would be nary a challenge for you to slay a dozen foes without being harmed in the least. If the forces of evil were nice and kind, sending forth their armies in nice, small groups, you could take out an entire army without even needing healing.

The forces of evil are not stupid.

The forces of evil will march forth, swarming us. Do you understand what it is like to be assaulted by a sea of creatures? Their contemptible little bodies piling up around you even as they swarm past you on all sides... It is nothing to laugh at.

This is not some pleasant, simple adventure. This is war. People will die. I pray that the sickness you have spread so far does not contribute to the casualty count.

Good day.

[drengnikrafe]

You, sir, are suffering from overconfidence. I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from spreading this disease. No, don't interrupt. I want to explain something to you, and you will listen to me all the way through.

You are an extremely powerful man. It would be nary a challenge for you to slay a dozen foes without being harmed in the least. If the forces of evil were nice and kind, sending forth their armies in nice, small groups, you could take out an entire army without even needing healing.

The forces of evil are not stupid.

The forces of evil will march forth, swarming us. Do you understand what it is like to be assaulted by a sea of creatures? Their contemptible little bodies piling up around you even as they swarm past you on all sides... It is nothing to laugh at.

This is not some pleasant, simple adventure. This is war. People will die. I pray that the sickness you have spread so far does not contribute to the casualty count.

Good day.

Yours is better, I think. Good job. Much more realistic.

[root9125]

Thank you, sir! I appreciate it. Unfortunately for the players for whom I DM, I write better than I improvise.