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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Brain experiencing some flatulence now, so the best I can think of is <insert witty one-liner comparing the concept of tabula rasa to blank character sheets>

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    The prophet of Delphi: Why Socrates, you rolled the highest wisdom score.

    Neitzsche: Stare into the abyss and a Baalor stares back at you.
    Me: I'd get the paladin to help, but we might end up with a kid that believes in fairy tales.
    DM: aye, and it's not like she's been saved by a mysterious little girl and a band of real live puppets from a bad man and worse step-sister to go live with the faries in the happy land.
    Me: Yeah, a knight in shining armour might just bring her over the edge.

  3. - Top - End - #63
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Will Rogers: When Wizards makes a joke, it's a rule. And when they make a rule, it's a joke!

    William of Ockham: In general, entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity. But if you have power attack, go nuts.

  4. - Top - End - #64
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    If a paladin falls in the outlands, and no one's around to see it, does he need an atonement?
    Me: I'd get the paladin to help, but we might end up with a kid that believes in fairy tales.
    DM: aye, and it's not like she's been saved by a mysterious little girl and a band of real live puppets from a bad man and worse step-sister to go live with the faries in the happy land.
    Me: Yeah, a knight in shining armour might just bring her over the edge.

  5. - Top - End - #65
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Winthur View Post
    (...)

    "There's one rule for the DM and that is: make the most exciting scenarios possible at the lowest railroading possible, paying the highest loot possible." - Henry Ford
    "You can choose any path, as long as it's the only one I prepared."
    Henry Ford as the DM

    "I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice."
    Albert Einstein
    "Stop telling DM what to do with his dice."
    Niels Bohr

    Some unchanged quotes:
    "Friends share all things."
    Pythagoras (probably while disputing loot division)

    "Number is the ruler of forms and ideas, and the cause of gods and daemons."
    Pythagoras spoke as a true powergamer.

    Something different, yet in an equally light-hearted spirit:
    Philosophers Song
    In a war it doesn't matter who's right, only who's left.

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Ravens_cry's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Yukitsu View Post
    If a paladin falls in the outlands, and no one's around to see it, does he need an atonement?
    Since a paladin is one example of a one, I would say the question is invalid, as there is at least one one around to see it inherent in the question.
    Unless he's an NPC, we all know they aren't REALLY people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

  7. - Top - End - #67
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Keld Denar's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Light a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Cast Empowered Maximized Twinned Energy Admixtured Sanctum Orb of Fire on him, and keep him warm for the rest of his (short) life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fax Celestis View Post
    AILHAY THULUCAY! AILHAY THULUCAY! AILHAY THULUCAY!
    _________________________________
    A beholderís favorite foods include small live mammals, exotic mushrooms and other fungi, gnomes, beef, pork, colorful leafy vegetables, leaves, flower petals, insects, and birds.

  8. - Top - End - #68
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    Since a paladin is one example of a one, I would say the question is invalid, as there is at least one one around to see it inherent in the question.
    Unless he's an NPC, we all know they aren't REALLY people.
    If an NPC is in the forest, and no one is aware of it's existence, it doesn't exist. Until they find him dead. Then he was created dead.

    If an NPC is in the city, and the party doesn't plan to fight it, does it have stats? No.
    Last edited by Sliver; 2010-01-27 at 03:11 PM.
    A wise monk trains both mind and body, but a smart monk is actually a swordsage.

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    dspeyer's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    As flies to wanton boys are NPCs to DMs. They kill us for their sport.

  10. - Top - End - #70
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Zombie

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    Since a paladin is one example of a one, I would say the question is invalid, as there is at least one one around to see it inherent in the question.
    Unless he's an NPC, we all know they aren't REALLY people.
    People still play straight paladins?
    Me: I'd get the paladin to help, but we might end up with a kid that believes in fairy tales.
    DM: aye, and it's not like she's been saved by a mysterious little girl and a band of real live puppets from a bad man and worse step-sister to go live with the faries in the happy land.
    Me: Yeah, a knight in shining armour might just bring her over the edge.

  11. - Top - End - #71
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Ravens_cry's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Sliver View Post
    If an NPC is in the forest, and no one is aware of it's existence, it doesn't exist. Until they find him dead. Then he was created dead.

    If an NPC is in the city, and the party doesn't plan to fight it, does it have stats? No.
    And neither does the forest.

    "Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the DM amongst his books for to you your characters and their equipment are mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment to be overturned by the flicking of a finger."
    Last edited by Ravens_cry; 2010-01-27 at 03:50 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

  12. - Top - End - #72
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Locke: We all start with a blank character sheet.

    Kant: I ought never to make a house rule except in such a way that I could also will that my maxim should become RAW.

  13. - Top - End - #73
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    The bigger they are, the larger their grapple bonus is.
    A wise monk trains both mind and body, but a smart monk is actually a swordsage.

  14. - Top - End - #74
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Mercenary Pen's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Tiamat does not play dice- Albert Einstein in reference to the 4e statblock
    Part of YugiohITP
    Avatar by Smuchmuch

    Warning: This post may contain traces of nuts, madness and/or sarcasm, you have been warned.

  15. - Top - End - #75
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Confucius: "Do not be ashamed of fumbles and thus make them crimes"

    Gandhi: "Hate the sin, love the succubus"

    Kurt Vonnegut: "Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."

    Julius Ceasar: "I came. I saw. I critically hit."

    Charles Darwin: "Owlbears? Well, err..."
    Last edited by Armoury99; 2010-01-27 at 03:48 PM.
    Coming Soon....

    Orbis Terrarum RPG: Gritty heroism in a customisable world of secrets, daemons, and strange ecologies...The historical roleplaying game of a make-believe world. Meet us on Facebook, Google Plus, and coming soon to kickstarter!

  16. - Top - End - #76
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Subtle is the DM, but malicious he is not...
    ...I have second thoughts. Maybe he is malicious...
    ...I, at any rate, am convinced that he does not throw dice. -Albert Einstein

    To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority myself. (After becoming the DM)

    As a child, I received instruction both in the Players handbook and in the DMG. I am a player, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the DM.
    Last edited by Asheram; 2010-01-27 at 03:53 PM.
    Boats are like nuts, the outside is hard but the inside is usually good to eat.


    And remember, things can always get worse.

  17. - Top - End - #77
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kallisti's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by dangerprawn View Post
    Ah, I see. I think my understanding of the Tippyverse was distorted as my first exposure to it was the Tippyverse '84 recruiting thread.
    Yay! I'm twisting perceptions!

    Oscar Wilde: "Nothing worth learning can be taught. Only learned through the indiscriminate slaughter of unrelated monsters."

    Plato: "He who neglects his education wastes his first level on a low-education class, and his build walks lame for the rest of his progression."

    Mark Twain: "I see no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure. *PLANE SHIFT!*"

    Nietzsche: "A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum proves that it takes more than faith to take Cleric levels."

    Nicola Abbagnano: "Reason itself is fallible, for logic must account for all the crazy **** wizards keep doing."

    Anaxagoras: "The descent to Hades is the same with every Plane Shift."

    Anaxagoras: "Everything has a natural explanation. The moon is not a god but ammo for cheesy Hulking Hurler builds, and the sun ammo for Half-Red Dragon Hulking Hurlers."

    Anaxagoras: "Men would live exceedingly quiet if these five words, talking is a free action, were taken away."

    Anaxafriggin'goras: "Appearances are a glimpse of the illusory."

    Neil Gaiman: "Sod this. Fireball."
    "Once upon a time, a story was never finished..."

  18. - Top - End - #78
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    Telonius's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Marcus Aurelius:

    - Despise not death, but welcome it, for nature wills it like all else. Besides, you might get better stats on the reroll.

    - A great pile of GP is a great disadvantage to those who do not know how to use it, for nothing is more common than to see PCs blow half their loot on a single easily-sundered, easily-stolen item; riches do them no service in order to virtue and happiness; therefore 'tis precept and principle, not WBL, that makes a character good for something.

  19. - Top - End - #79
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Schrodinger: "Quick! My familiar MAY need healing!"
    but just as some things can be right and useless at the same time, canít something be wrong...and priceless?


  20. - Top - End - #80
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kallisti's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Schrodinger: "I'm gonna roll up a wizard."
    "Once upon a time, a story was never finished..."

  21. - Top - End - #81
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateWench

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    Thumbs up Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Dust View Post
    Nietzsche: "Chapter Three: Why my stats are so high"
    Quote Originally Posted by Ormur
    Locke: We all start with a blank character sheet.
    So much win

    Also:
    Foucault: "The soul is the prison of a black sapphire of at least 1,000 gp value for every Hit Die"

    Marx: "The DMs have only interpreted the pre-built settings, in various ways; the point, however, is to change it."

    Now I'm thinking of all the possibilities!

    *runs to philosophy bookshelf*
    "In those halcyon days I believed that the source of enigma was stupidity. Then the other evening in the periscope I decided that the most terrible enigmas are hose that mask themselves as madness. But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth." -Casaubon, Foucault's Pendulum
    LGBTitP

  22. - Top - End - #82
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Athaniar's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    How has this one not been mentioned yet?

    "The die is cast."
    -Julius Caesar


    Also, completely unaltered (except for the translation):

    "I do not care to play the part of Monk; I will not play it myself, and I do not choose that others shall do so. "
    -Napoleon Bonaparte
    Last edited by Athaniar; 2010-01-27 at 04:44 PM.

  23. - Top - End - #83
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    A campaign is the sidequests that come up while you're busy trying to achieve the main plot.
    John Lennon
    Last edited by zql; 2010-01-27 at 04:54 PM.
    but just as some things can be right and useless at the same time, canít something be wrong...and priceless?


  24. - Top - End - #84
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Freshmeat's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Spoiler
    Show
    Spoiler
    Show

    Sigatar by Crimmy

  25. - Top - End - #85
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by industrious View Post
    Hamlet: To play a monk or not to play a monk, that is the question.
    I never said that . . .








    Sorry. I apologize.
    It doesn't matter what game you're playing as long as you're having fun.

  26. - Top - End - #86
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Yora's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Kirkegard: "I reached 20th level, what do I do now?"

    Obi-Wan: "Use the d20."

    Genesis 1: "I cast Genesis"

    Otto von Bismarck: "If there is ever another war in Khorvaire, it will come out of some damned silly thing in the Lhazaar Principalities"

    "I have an Intelligence score, therefore I am."
    Last edited by Yora; 2010-01-27 at 05:18 PM.
    We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.

    Spriggan's Den Heroic Fantasy Roleplaying

  27. - Top - End - #87
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dust's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Freshmeat, I am wholly amused at that collage. The alignment of moustaches.

  28. - Top - End - #88
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dimers's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Quote Originally Posted by Yukitsu View Post
    People still play straight paladins?
    Particularly odd considering how much fun gay paladins are.

  29. - Top - End - #89
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Person_Man's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Rawls: Always write your character sheet as if you had to give it to someone else to play, and you had to accept and use the character sheet written by a different anonymous player.

    Foucault: The only dungeons are the ones constructed in your mind by society. But first, let me explain the last 100 years of back story...

    Derrida: What does an attack of opportunity really mean anyway? What does it mean to attack? Is it really an opportunity? And who wrote these rules anyway?

  30. - Top - End - #90
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateWench

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    Default Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners

    Freshmeat reminded me of something:

    Image may contain language that may offend.
    Spoiler
    Show
    "In those halcyon days I believed that the source of enigma was stupidity. Then the other evening in the periscope I decided that the most terrible enigmas are hose that mask themselves as madness. But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth." -Casaubon, Foucault's Pendulum
    LGBTitP

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