Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[CoffeeIncluded]

...Have we *ever* had V/Inky? XD
...ohman we need an Initiation roleplay topic on the forum.

Yes, I did Kyrie/Kyrie/V/V earlier. No, that is not a typo.

EDIT: Here it is.

[Sereg]

...Have we *ever* had V/Inky? XD

Yes, we have.

Let me check.

Ah, 3 times, (5 if you include other people)

And I've been ninja'd by Coffee. (Yes I did count her one)

[Asta Kask]

(And a piece of useless random knowledge, halfway off topic: Did you know that in Finnish we have only one 3rd person pronoun(is that what you call it?) "hän". It refers to both male and female characters equally (and makes talking about a certain androgynous elf a lot easier) It's also rather useful when it comes to legal documents and such.)

And Tolkien modelled Quenya on Finnish... coincidence? I think not.

If you need help with V/Inky grammar or words, I'd be glad to help. Just PM me.

[Lavieru]

Zanaril, Closak, Lix Lorn, *hugs* Yeah, hugs are nice!
Closak, I certainly can’t do this shapechanging thing, so please just try not to squash me.

Water-Smurf, Yay! New story! Can’t wait! I think, CWater is right about your writing – you’re amazing! Actually, it was your works that led me to this thread eventually (I read them on ff.net). So you kinda inspired me.

I've hinted at it's existence.

Damn! You just love torture people, don't you?! *deliriously looks through the thread*

Convert or pervert? Ah, it's all the same here.

Asta Kask, Damn, you’ve got that right!

Oh, I almost forgot! I also read Lavieru's debut work! Awesome! That was so in-character!

Thank you, CWater. I’m really glad you liked my fic.

I really don't trust my English to be good enough for story-writing...

Come on! I know you can do it! It’s not that hard… (It’s only took two agonizing days and best friend’s help to write my fic, but I think your English is much better than mine. Don’t want to scare you off, do I? )
Anyway, I hope you’ll decide to write something after all. I'm sure it'll be interesting! I’ll be waiting.

[Asta Kask]

Come on! I know you can do it! It’s not that hard… (It’s only took two agonizing days and best friend’s help to write my fic, but I think your English is much better than mine. Don’t want to scare you off, do I? )

You are, of course, also allowed to ask the Kask for help. *hugs*

[Lavieru]

You are, of course, also allowed to ask the Kask for help.

Thanks. I'm sure I need it, but... do you understand what torments you're putting yourself in?

[The Succubus]

For the purposes of this thread, V/Inky counts as a crack pairing.

I have every faith that the foul creatures that lurk in this thread could take Roy/Celia and Elan/Haley and write a story of such perversity that every mod in the Playground would NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.

Hell, it's been done with Daigo/Kazumi. I still have bad dreams about this one. Oo

[sneakattak]

Whats a crack pairing?

[Zanaril]

Whats a crack pairing?

Go to the first thread and start reading. You'll soon find out.

[sneakattak]

hm ok thanks. wheres the first thread?

[Lira]

hm ok thanks. wheres the first thread?

There's a link to it in the first post.

[sneakattak]

thanks!....how do i get to the first post. JK

[The Dark Fiddler]

I have every faith that the foul creatures that lurk in this thread could take Roy/Celia and Elan/Haley and write a story of such perversity that every mod in the Playground would NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.

That's not very hard.

Now what WOULD be hard is doing that while keeping it legal by the rules of the board.

[CoffeeIncluded]

That's not very hard.

Now what WOULD be hard is doing that while keeping it legal by the rules of the board.

I could do that in my sleep. That's how easy it is. All you need is a basic knowledge of anatomy and physiology and some creativity.

And for the rest, there's the FF board!

[Lycan 01]

Oh dear... XD


So, I got hit with creative ADD, and decided to try rolling up a few more pairings. So here are a few mini-cracks inspired by some of the rolls that jumped out at me.


Celia x Roy's Sword (French Maid Costume)

Spoiler

Show

Celia sighed in annoyance. She'd hoped to spend the evening with Roy, and had even gone out and bought a naughty French Maid outfit. She'd showed up at the tavern they were staying at in some obscure desert town, and swung by his room to surprise him. He'd been quite happy to see her, and she'd scurried off to a closet to change into the costume. The black and white outfit showed off plenty of cleavage, and the frilly skirt barely went past her thighs. But just as she finished putting it on, Durkon had knocked on the door to inform Roy that Elan had gotten arrested for starting a Bard Battle and causing a riot. The Dwarf had then dragged him off, not giving him the chance to grab any of his gear or talk to Celia. And now she was sitting on Roy's bed, alone, frustrated at her now ruined evening.

But then she noticed something. Resting next to the bed was Roy's greatsword, its blade sheathed and its green hilt leaning against the wall. Hopping off the bed, the Sylph approached the weapon, a curious thought passing through her mind. Slowly, she reached out and ran a finger down the length of the blade's hilt. Her eyebrow arched, and she traced her fingertips back up the hilt before tapping the solid pommel a few times. A sly grin slowly spread across her face, and she quickly grabbed the sword from its rest place and headed back towards the bed, giggling mischeviously. Roy might not have been there to entertain her, but at least the evening wouldn't be a total loss...

The Dragons Horde x YokYok x Yor (Someone is a vampire)

Spoiler

Show

"We finally did it, my dear!" Yor roared as he picked up his Kobold lover in his arms and swung him around.

"Indeed!" Yokyok squeeled, kicking his legs with joy. "Ever since you Rezzed me, things have been going our way! And now we're RICH!!" the Kobold exclaimed. Sure enough, the odd couple had discovered a hidden cache of draconic loot in an abandoned cave. The massive pile of gold behind them stretched almost to the ceiling. However, in their jubilation, they failed to notice something.

It was moving.

Slowly, the pile of gold began to rise up, and a pair of glowing red rubies began to glimmer like eyes, while a gaping maw formed in the center of its metal mass, a pair of golden knives leering down like fangs. As it loomed over its prey, the two paused their partying for a moment to both ask in unison: "Do you hear something?"

Before either could look up, it was already too late...

I've also got "Sarah Greenhilt x Therkla (Someone is a Vampire + Stuck on a desert island)" and "Belkar x The Snarl (Pink Frills and White Lace)" planned for later, but I don't like to write so much in one sitting, and I want feedback on these two first.



So, what did ya'll think?

[Lix Lorn]

I love them both. XDD

(Waits for next)

[The Succubus]

Oh dear... XD


So, I got hit with creative ADD, and decided to try rolling up a few more pairings. So here are a few mini-cracks inspired by some of the rolls that jumped out at me.


Celia x Roy's Sword (French Maid Costume)

Spoiler

Show

Celia sighed in annoyance. She'd hoped to spend the evening with Roy, and had even gone out and bought a naughty French Maid outfit. She'd showed up at the tavern they were staying at in some obscure desert town, and swung by his room to surprise him. He'd been quite happy to see her, and she'd scurried off to a closet to change into the costume. The black and white outfit showed off plenty of cleavage, and the frilly skirt barely went past her thighs. But just as she finished putting it on, Durkon had knocked on the door to inform Roy that Elan had gotten arrested for starting a Bard Battle and causing a riot. The Dwarf had then dragged him off, not giving him the chance to grab any of his gear or talk to Celia. And now she was sitting on Roy's bed, alone, frustrated at her now ruined evening.

But then she noticed something. Resting next to the bed was Roy's greatsword, its blade sheathed and its green hilt leaning against the wall. Hopping off the bed, the Sylph approached the weapon, a curious thought passing through her mind. Slowly, she reached out and ran a finger down the length of the blade's hilt. Her eyebrow arched, and she traced her fingertips back up the hilt before tapping the solid pommel a few times. A sly grin slowly spread across her face, and she quickly grabbed the sword from its rest place and headed back towards the bed, giggling mischeviously. Roy might not have been there to entertain her, but at least the evening wouldn't be a total loss...

A classic Crack Pairing, sir. The very best ones cause you to form a mental image in your head of what's going on.

The Dragons Horde x YokYok x Yor (Someone is a vampire)

Spoiler

Show

"We finally did it, my dear!" Yor roared as he picked up his Kobold lover in his arms and swung him around.

"Indeed!" Yokyok squeeled, kicking his legs with joy. "Ever since you Rezzed me, things have been going our way! And now we're RICH!!" the Kobold exclaimed. Sure enough, the odd couple had discovered a hidden cache of draconic loot in an abandoned cave. The massive pile of gold behind them stretched almost to the ceiling. However, in their jubilation, they failed to notice something.

It was moving.

Slowly, the pile of gold began to rise up, and a pair of glowing red rubies began to glimmer like eyes, while a gaping maw formed in the center of its metal mass, a pair of golden knives leering down like fangs. As it loomed over its prey, the two paused their partying for a moment to both ask in unison: "Do you hear something?"

Before either could look up, it was already too late...

A vampiric Dragon's Hoard?! Even Closak won't touch that with a 10ft pole...

[Lix Lorn]

I wouldn't bet on it. XD
Gold Elemental?

[CWater]

You are, of course, also allowed to ask the Kask for help. *hugs*

Thanks. I'm sure I need it, but... do you understand what torments you're putting yourself in?

Seconded!

*sigh* Okay, I'll try my luck with the V/Inky story. It'll be a short one shot anyway, so how hard can it be?

[Lix Lorn]

Good luuuuuuuck!

[CoffeeIncluded]

*Starts giggling* Lycan, the first one was great.

[Lycan 01]

Thanks for the feedback, ya'll!

*Starts giggling* Lycan, the first one was great.

Glad you thought so. ^_^ What's so funny?

It was also probably the dirtiest thing I've written for the Crack Pairing thread, too, but I felt the idea was too good to pass up. XD

A classic Crack Pairing, sir. The very best ones cause you to form a mental image in your head of what's going on.

I feel that one of my strongest talents as a writer is my imagery. I'm good at providing enough details to give the reader a good mental image of what they're reading, rather than a bare-bones description of what's going on, while not over-doing it. I thought about adding a few more details and bits of info, but I wasn't sure if some of them were important enough to warrant mentioning, like the lighting/time, the material the hilt was made of, or the type of underwear the costume came with.

A vampiric Dragon's Hoard?! Even Closak won't touch that with a 10ft pole...

I wouldn't bet on that...



Anyone else care to share some feedback?

[CoffeeIncluded]

The reason I didn't elaborate is because Masamune already said it. Though I wouldn't mind if you painted a clearer picture. Though others might.

[Lycan 01]

Heh, I'm sure some others wanted me to keep writing...

I love them both. XDD

(Waits for next)

I'll write the other two later. I'm thinking the Belkar one will be a short silly one like the vampire gold story. But I dunno if the Sarah x Therkla story should be short and silly, or more developed and detailed like the Celia story.

Thoughts?

[Lix Lorn]

Sounds good!

[Lycan 01]

Should they both be short, though, or should the vampire one be more developed? That's what I'm asking...

[Lix Lorn]

I think the SarahTherkla should be more developed.

[Pokonic]

I say the vampire gold one can be developed more.

[Lycan 01]

Oh? And what would you suggest?

Maybe after I've written all 4 and gotten feedback, I'll edit and repost them all together...

[Pokonic]

A sort of aftermath? I dont know, honastly.