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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty P-Wizard

    In an all-wizard game, I am playing the noble Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate. Only he's been transported from his dimension to the game world of Al-Qadim under a curse which makes him a wizard, not a pirate. In fact, he's not even able to say the word "pirate," he automatically says wizard instead. Technically, he's a Beguiler/Wizard. The other two party members are a creepy necromancer and a hot fire sorceress/wizard.

    Now, the DM allows us one or two magical items at character creation, so I turn my jacket into a robe of useful items, so that 1/day I roll a percentile die and pull out a random, usually useless object or something good like the Animated Navigator's Head, which will point me in the direction of my current goal.

    I also have the demonic talking skull Murray, who always returns to me like a cursed item. Murray hates my guts, and wants a body so he can kill me and reign hell and earth. He's completely nonthreatening though in his current form.

    So, game starts, first thing that happens is we have to teleport to the desert city of Al-Qadim. When we teleport, we somehow end up several miles outside the city, and my jacket pocket starts smoldering. I check said pocket out of concern, and the dimensional space within ruptures and ALL 100 PERCENTILE ITEMS FALL OUT ONTO ME. Buried under a pile of near useless crap, I gather what I can: a bucket to carry stuff, a shovel, Murray, the Animated Navigator's Head, and a few other random knick-knacks.

    We get to the city, get introduced to the other members of the local wizard's guild, and find out that there's some strange unknown effect that's causing conjuration magic to go wonky. Hence why the teleportation effect was off and my jacket ruptured. We also find out I'm under several voodoo curses, not the least of which is the fact I say 'wizard' when I try to say 'pirate.'

    Well, we do a few jobs around the city while trying to investigate the whole conjuration-magic-doesn't-work-here thing, including excavating a drow temple and getting the hell out of there when we found out what it was and hired other adventurers to check it out, and some random "Find my lost pet" quests, all of which my Animated Navigator's Head comes in extremely handy.

    Now, the fire sorceress and I hit it off, but the necromancer is extremely creepy. I try to speak with him late one night to introduce myself, only there's a Silence effect in the wizard's guild when people are sleeping, so I tap the necromancer on the shoulder. The necromancer reacts by violently turning around and using his magic shovel to cast a Dig spell in the middle of the hallway. A six-foot grave in the middle of the wizard's tower. The ensuing debris knocks several other members into the interdimensional walls normally used to convenience the place with extra-dimensional rooms. So, we don't know what happens to the others (remember, conjuration magic doesn't work right right now) and I am permanently freaked out by the necromancer. The necromancer is fascinated by Murray, the talking demonic skull, and promises not to murder me in my sleep as long as he can occasionally study Murray, so I grudgingly oblige. Murray randomly comes back to me anyway, so it's not like he's going anywhere.

    So, one day, the DM in desperation of moving the plot along, says the Animated Navigator's Head directs me, the necromancer and the fire sorceress to a tent in the 'entertainment' district, where one of the tents is pulsing with demonic energy. We investigate, naturally, and a few cloaked cultists run out the back. Well, while the necromancer and the fire sorceress give chase, I decide to stay behind because (a) someone needs to keep an eye on this place for any more funny business and investigate, and (b) there are a bunch of dancing girls outside that require my subtle love and affection.

    The others subdue a few of the cultists and go to take them to the guard, yadayadayada, boring stuff here... Meanwhile, I take the girls inside the tent to 'console' them, only to find a dead human sacrifice in the middle of some eldritch circle. Well, I investigate further, and the only item I could really take is the ritual dagger stuck in the corpse, as well as an imp inside. I take out Murray who is delighted to intimidate the imp into submission, who promptly teleports out.

    Well, the first thing I plan to do is go back to the wizard's tower and Identify the dagger and study it. Unfortunately, said creepy necromancer was dissecting one of said cultists trying to derive the suicide poison he used. Well, that's not happening, so I go elsewhere. There's the sultan's park, but that's heavily patrolled by guards, and magic used within the city is frowned upon, so I decide to go to one of the brothels and just pay for a room for an hour.

    One casting of Identify later, I find out it's a +3 Unholy dagger which does double damage to Good creatures and gives evil creatures +1 to all stats. Well, I am Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Wizard, I simply must try out any and all combinations of items in inventory. So I touch the dagger to Murray to see what happens.

    The DM at this point breaks for dinner so HE can figure out what happens next.

    Suddenly, Murray starts screaming in agony as the dagger and he start merging. I try to pull them apart, but to no avail. Suddenly, there's a huge explosion and the room bursts into flames. Not just regular flames, but pure hellfire. And Murray, the demonic skull which threatens to eternally torture me should he ever get a body, gets a body. Murray is now a flaming skeleton of hellfire and is eager for the pain to commence.

    My clothes are on hellfire and can't be put out by simply dropping and rolling, so I strip naked and run out of the room, taking 4 damage (I have 10 HP total, so down to 6) and there's now a panicked crowd in a burning building.

    At this point, I should explain the custom MP system we are using. I get 25 MP for my wizard spells and can cast them otherwise like a sorcerer, and I get 40 MP for my beguiler spells which function normally. A 0th level spell costs 5 MP while a 1st level spell costs 10 MP. If I absolutely need to, I can roll a Fort save to substitute HP for MP on a 1:1 basis.

    I start running away as fast as possible while blowing Ray of Frosts at the demonic skeleton chasing me. They work well, but are not enough to stop Murray. I dash down the stairs, but the exit is blocked, and ace 2 reflex checks to leap over the banister and out a 1st-story window, while naked, mind you, without taking any damage miraculously. I start running down the streets butt-naked, no weapons or items, with a flaming skeleton chasing after me. I only have 5 of my wizard MP left, so I cast Expeditious Retreat from my Beguiler reserve so Murray doesn't catch up to me, but he's still not far behind. I ask the DM if I can find a rope lying around, and luckily I find just that. I race to the large fountain in the plaza and soak the rope as much as possible, and then take a hiding place. Another 10 Beguiler MP gets me a Silent Image of myself in plain view for Murray to attack, close to the fountain of course. Luckily, he takes the bait and tackles the illusion. I use my remaining 5 MP and 5 hit points (dragging me down to 1 hit point) to cast Animate Rope and have the rope tie itself around Murray and drag him into the fountain. The rope starts to singe from the hellfire, but thanks to soaking it first, it manages to hold long enough to drag Murray into the fountain. One explosion of steam later, and there's nothing left in the fountain except the dagger and a now lifeless skull. Hooray, as I single-handedly saved the city from the demonic skeleton! Right?

    Right?

    Well, not only did ALL my possessions, clothes, and money get destroyed in hellfire with the rest of the brothel, but now three quarters of the city's water supply is GONE, leaving enough to maybe last a week. Everyone in the city knows my face (as well as my buttcheeks) and I get to go on trial for causing all this destruction. Will Guybrush Threepwood convince the sultan and the city that he's not to blame and their hero? Or will he be exiled butt-naked into the desert? Find out next session in the Adventures of Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Wizard.

    (P.S. Yes, this all actually happened to me. Just now, in fact.)
    Last edited by DiscipleofBob; 2010-03-11 at 10:58 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Pluto's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Haha. Nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by DiscipleofBob View Post
    I start running away as fast as possible while blowing Ray of Frosts at the demonic skeleton chasing me. They work well, but are not enough to stop Murray.
    What? Were your comebacks not witty enough?

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Pluto View Post
    Haha. Nice.
    What? Were your comebacks not witty enough?
    Apparently that only works in swordplay, and my sword (with all of my other clothes and possessions) were destroyed in hellfire.

    Also, I'm currently charged with the following crimes:

    1. Unlawful Use of Magic Within City Limits
    2. Infernalism
    3. Murder
    4. Destruction of Property
    5. Destruction of Town's Water Supply
    6. Indecent Exposure

    I think I can get out of all but the last one.

  4. - Top - End - #4
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    Lycanthromancer's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    For some reason the name of this thread seemed inappropriate for children.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Don't worry, that's just your mind in the gutter.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    The thread title is less then accurate, it's ThreepWOOD.
    And it would surprise me if Guybrush could cast even the simplest cantrap.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Mr White's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Not to question your logic of combing everything in your inventory but ...

    What was the purpose of Murray? I know he has had at least one moment of usefulness but what's the use of holding on to an entity that has sworn your painful doom? I know it always returned to you but why didn't you try to destroy it?
    Awesome Delirium-avatar by Recaiden
    Looking for friendly contact with an evil outsider in the fanclub

  8. - Top - End - #8
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    Lycanthromancer's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr White View Post
    Not to question your logic of combing everything in your inventory but ...

    What was the purpose of Murray? I know he has had at least one moment of usefulness but what's the use of holding on to an entity that has sworn your painful doom? I know it always returned to you but why didn't you try to destroy it?
    Disjuction, then disintegrate.

    Use him as a spell component.

    Or better yet, make him WANT to leave.

    Bedpan, anyone?
    Last edited by Lycanthromancer; 2010-03-11 at 10:29 AM.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr White View Post
    Not to question your logic of combing everything in your inventory but ...

    What was the purpose of Murray? I know he has had at least one moment of usefulness but what's the use of holding on to an entity that has sworn your painful doom? I know it always returned to you but why didn't you try to destroy it?
    Mostly for humor purposes, and Murray was pretty harmless until he got his own body.

  10. - Top - End - #10
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    Lycanthromancer's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    The thread title is less then accurate, it's ThreepWOOD.
    Oh, that's all sorts of better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    And it would surprise me if Guybrush could cast even the simplest cantrap.
    I don't know of any wizards who do.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwod, Mighty P-Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycanthromancer View Post
    Oh, that's all sorts of better.
    Blame not Lucasarts or I, blame P.G. Wodehouse.
    I don't know of any wizards who do.
    I was semi quoting, I think, Vaarsuvius's admonishment to Elan when he wanted to become a wizard.
    Last edited by Ravens_cry; 2010-03-11 at 12:59 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty P-Wizard

    i personally quite enjoyed the story, and would love to hear more! where were the fire sorceress and the necromancer this whole time? bah, never mind, they aren't interesting. i'll read more when you post more. eagerly awaiting...

    1. Special projects:
    Campaign logs archive, Campaign planning log, Tactical mass combat Homebrew, A unique monsters compendium.
    2. My campaign logs:
    Three from a GM's POV, One from a player's POV. Very detailed, including design and GMing discussions.
    3. Various roleplay and real life musings and anecdotes:
    For those interested, from serious to funny!

    Thanks for reading!

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty P-Wizard

    Should've given the knife to the animated navigator's head.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Homebrew
    To Do: Reboot and finish Riptide

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: The Adventures of Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty P-Wizard

    Quote Originally Posted by Kol Korran View Post
    i personally quite enjoyed the story, and would love to hear more! where were the fire sorceress and the necromancer this whole time? bah, never mind, they aren't interesting. i'll read more when you post more. eagerly awaiting...
    The fire sorceress had, for some reason, managed to get hired into the city guard as a temporary guard, so she was getting officers to the tent to investigate, and the necromancer was taking one of the dead cultists and performing an autopsy to derive the suicide poison used by said cultist.

    The next session won't be for awhile, and until then I need to prepare for my defense. Most likely, I'll be rerolling my character, but there's no reason I can't give it my all.

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