Support the GITP forums on Patreon
Help support GITP's forums (and ongoing server maintenance) via Patreon
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 40
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    NJ
    Gender
    Male

    Default Your Best OOC lines.

    We all know that we have our badass funny and so forth lines that our characters have said. but What have we said out of game that brings you to laughter, joy, or groans?

    Here's one of my favorites:
    DM: Through the door you see 12 grimlocks and one really big one that looks like it's been mutated
    Player: What's a Grimlok?
    Me: Giant Robot Dinosaur.
    <beat>
    Player: Really?

    Cue everybody laughing for five minutes.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Siegel's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    You can't attack him with your Greatsword, you have a cauldron in your hand
    Quote Originally Posted by kyoryu View Post
    I swear, about 50% of what makes BW awesome is the little stuff like that that's applicable to just about any system.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Elyria, Ohio
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    "No, you can't crit with a codpiece!"
    How to Play Rogues Properly:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Like this:

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Zombie

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    The great state of denial

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    The reason I'm doing well, and you're failing, is that I'm playing an engineer and am basing my science on the actual technology available in the period, whereas you are playing a theoretical scientist who bases his ideas off of star trek.
    Me: I'd get the paladin to help, but we might end up with a kid that believes in fairy tales.
    DM: aye, and it's not like she's been saved by a mysterious little girl and a band of real live puppets from a bad man and worse step-sister to go live with the faries in the happy land.
    Me: Yeah, a knight in shining armour might just bring her over the edge.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Canberra, Australia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Goblins, the other green meat.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    AngelisBlack's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    To DM: My character does have, Knowledge (Common Sense) right?
    Failure is not only an option, its expected.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Oracle_Hunter's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    (In a 4th Edition Game)
    N00b: How do we determine facing?
    Me: There is no facing, only Zuul

    Reference

    Really though, this is just a good go-to line
    Lead Designer for Oracle Hunter Games
    Today a Blog, Tomorrow a Business!


    ~ Awesome Avatar by the phantastic Phase ~
    Spoiler
    Show

    Elflad

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    oxybe's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2009

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yukitsu View Post
    The reason I'm doing well, and you're failing, is that I'm playing an engineer and am basing my science on the actual technology available in the period, whereas you are playing a theoretical scientist who bases his ideas off of star trek.
    dunno why but this made me think of this Hark, a vagrant! comic.

    as for my contribution: "so we Shag the monster then?"

    by "Shag the X" I meant to send the dwarf barreling towards it in a suicide charge, usually carrying some sort of explosive. the dwarf in question was a HP machine and could usually survive several point blank explosions with only minor injury and somehow exploding dwarves worked well in several occasions.

    needless to say, when the monster is a huge sized aberration with no discernable anatomy, i could have picked better words.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Chasing my dreams.

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    My friend and I were talking about the rogues sneak attack and his rogue and how it uses a rapier.

    me: A rapier? or a raper?
    him: heh.... rape sneak attack... thrust up the ******* for xd6 extra damage... ouch. Imagine how much that would hurt. There's a sword up your ass.
    me: If you're going to be doing that sort of dickery, might as well just stab through the balls into the anus.
    him: ouch.... *acts out such a motion*
    me: critical hit.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Orc in the Playground
     
    MachineWraith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    California
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    I was DMing a homebrewed zombie apocalypse campaign, that had several different types of "boss" zombie, some ripped straight from Left 4 Dead, some made up on my own.

    One of the "Hunter" types had pounced a player and brought him to very low HP. Following round, I roll damage for the Hunter and look up at the player. He says, "Well?"

    I respond, "He's playing with your guts like a two year old plays with spaghetti."

    He went white as a sheet and the rest of the party erupted in laughter. :)

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    icastflare!'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    The Divide
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Me: how did the devil steal his soul?
    DM: he lost the fiddle contest of course
    Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.

    This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Location, Location
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    "Play big or go home"

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Starbuck_II's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Enterprise, Alabama
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    DM: You've just defeated the frost giants. You see a stew pot.
    Me: I smell it. Does it smell good?
    DM: Yeah, it smells great.
    Me: I try a bit. How does it taste?
    DM: Yes, they used a lot of spices to enhance the taste.
    Other party: what are you doing?
    Me: I was hungry.
    DM: You guys keep searching and see dwarf bodies cut up.
    Dwar PC: You ate Dwarf! (hits my PC on back of head)
    Me: It tasted great (I said like Tiger on Frost Flakes). Look if you ever find some stew made of elves, go ahead dig in.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Katana_Geldar's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    No, you didn't want to go with the other players, who are now twenty minutes away from you, so you can't arrive just in time to join their conversation. This isn't Star Trek and you just can't beam in there, Scotty.
    Avatar by Trixie.

    Running Tomb of Horrors 4E in all that horrific tombyness.

    My Blog The Level 1 GM


  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    DM: Random, you take 13 damage, and the genie's invisibility drops and he appears right next to you.
    Me (In a perfect imitation of the then-still-living Ed McMahon): Heeeeeeeeeeer's Janni!
    I am not crazy! I prefer "reality impaired".

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Kentucky, US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by Starbuck_II View Post
    Me: It tasted great (I said like Tiger on Frost Flakes). Look if you ever find some stew made of elves, go ahead dig in.
    Me: "I open a barrel of elf pudding, what's inside?"
    Dm: "It's exactly what you think it is."

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, MI

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    We'd been playing a WoD-esque campaign revolving around the intrigues and the politics of a particular vampire lord. At some point, things were just falling apart, and we set off to find the one man whom we knew could set things right. Some two sessions later, at long last we tracked this elder down, and he told us in his basement that he'd sold his soul to the Devil to save the Order of Hermes, and was taking poisoned blood to make sure he couldn't betray anything he had built. He then gave us his final instructions and his dying wishes.

    Then he died, leaving behind several important artifacts.

    Now I'm a very serious player by instinct. At this point I said to my DM, "You know, in the six years I've been playing with you, I've been waiting for a good opportunity to say this."

    He asks me, "What is it?"

    And I said, "'I loot the room.'"
    Last edited by Kalirren; 2010-03-12 at 12:32 AM.
    Of the Core classes, Bard is the best. It optimizes the most important resource of them all: play time.

    Grieve not greatly if thou be touched a-light, for an after-stroke is better if thou dare him smite.
    The Play with the Two-Hand Sword in Verse, circa 1430. British Museum manuscript #3542, ff 82-85.

    Current avatar: Sascha Kincaid, a lost country girl in a big city. Aldhaven: Vicious Betrayals

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Penny67's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cuddling something
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Epic. Win.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Jayngfet View Post
    Darth Vader has Forged the One Ring and used it to lead the Forsaken across Hyrule!
    Quote Originally Posted by absolmorph View Post
    Man up! Endure the pain! It's for science!
    Dolly's by Recaiden.
    On a slightly louder than silent vigil for Je Dit Viola's return

    Times I've been hugged since I started counting: 19
    Enchanted cookies left: 8

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by Starscream View Post
    "No, you can't crit with a codpiece!"
    "are you saying I need to take it off first?"

    This one isn't mine, but it happened in a game I played in:
    Cleric: Ale and wenches
    DM: Aren't clerics supposed to be celibate?
    Cleric: celibawho?

    The delivery was so smooth and well done that we all laughed and laughed.
    I do not have a superman complex; for I am God, not Superman!

    the glass is always 100% full. Approximately 50% of its volume is full of dihydrogen monoxide and some dissolved solutes, and approx 50% a mixture of gasses known as "air" which contains roughly (by volume) 78.08% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.038% carbon dioxide, and trace amounts of other gases.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    This is a DM line, so it's not really OOC, but still worth sharing...one of my favorite stories.

    Context: A goofy one-shot game where the party got teleported into a Super Mario World expy, complete with teleporting green pipes that led to loot-filled safe rooms.

    The buildup: A small argument over who should go down a certain green pipe first, that looked exactly like all the others (they had met a Goomba down one which bit a few people). The fighter decided to grapple the rogue and throw him down the pipe. I roll a die.


    The Line: "The pirahna plant crits."
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel, on quest rewards View Post
    "Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

    I don't think anyone would want those pancakes even if you paid them to eat them.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Orc in the Playground
     
    mikej's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Niagara Falls, Ont
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Me: "Can I eat what's left of the dead duergar Fighter?"
    Group: " . . . "
    DM: " sure..."

    Few levels later

    Me: Can I eat what's left of the dead Centaur Fighter?"
    Last edited by mikej; 2010-03-12 at 12:46 AM.
    mikej

    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Smiling Knight View Post
    Just to save time:

    Giacomo: Monks are as strong as wizards with UMD and partially charged wands.

    [Respected forum members]: No they are not.

    Giacomo: Yes they are. You all just abuse the rules.

    [Rfm]: No u

    G: No u

    Repeat until someone challenges G to duel, which then never happens.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    DM: I am trying to use Logic in this game!
    Me: Logic?! We're a party of two halflings, a Dwarf who uses a bloody harpoon, and a centaur/dragon thing who has a magical connection with a Dire Iguana! Logic has no place in this world!
    Quote Originally Posted by shadow_archmagi View Post

    DM says: WHY!? WHY!? WHY?!
    DM means: NO! NO! NO!!!
    Player hears: GOOD JOB PLAYER! DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN!

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Cisturn's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    New York
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    while fighting goblins and wolves our fighter takes a critical and goes into the negatives
    Cleric "Hey, throw your rations to distract the wolves"
    Hexblade "Can't we just throw the fighter?"
    awesome blues brothers avatar by strategos

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Mordokai's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    "Well, nobody can say this group is homophobic..."

    And I would rather not got into details
    Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.
    This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
    "There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."
    Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2010

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by oxybe View Post
    dunno why but this made me think of this Hark, a vagrant! comic.

    as for my contribution: "so we Shag the monster then?"

    by "Shag the X" I meant to send the dwarf barreling towards it in a suicide charge, usually carrying some sort of explosive. the dwarf in question was a HP machine and could usually survive several point blank explosions with only minor injury and somehow exploding dwarves worked well in several occasions.

    needless to say, when the monster is a huge sized aberration with no discernable anatomy, i could have picked better words.
    Why use a valuable party member when you could use an expendable critter from a bag of tricks?

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Perth, West Australia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    DM: "So you want a greatsword?"
    Player: "Hell yeah. A big greatsword. I want a sword so big that if it were a penis it'd stretch from A to Z on a keyboard."
    (beat)
    Player: "Waitaminute..."

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    ...

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    A bit of set-up. I had been running a short game where the PCs were two adventurers contracted by a company to go investigate and explore a jungle island. They had steam-punk type gear, but no magic, set up a base camp, and prepared to head off into the rain-forest. I reminded them, considering the adventure could almost be called D&D Oregon Trail that if they didn't have it on their sheet, then they didn't have it (we were usually lenient about stuff like rations, bedding, and stuff). Que them marching off four days into the jungle and discovering it was full of dinosaurs and other nasty creatures (They enjoyed it since I told them that they could 'name' landmarks and undiscovered creatures).

    On the fifth day, it began to rain. Hard. And they fought a...rather large and carnivorous reptile that managed to land some good hits on them so they wanted to rest. Cue the conversation of...

    DM: Alright, since it's raining so hard I'll say that you take a -1 morale penalty if you sleep outside a tent. You two have tents, right?
    P1: Hmm, lemme check...nope. You?
    P2: Uhhh....
    DM: ...Alright. If you have blankets you can improvise them into a make-shift shelter.
    P1: Yeah, don't have those either.
    DM: Then you spend a wet and miserable night in the rainforest.

    The next day the trek continued, they refused to go back for meager things like supplies, but ran into another random encounter of a large reptile that they had some trouble with because of that simple -1 penalty.

    Prompting...

    DM:Alright, the massive reptile collapses down unto the ground with a thud, the rain washing the blood of your wear bodies and...
    P1: SKIN IT!
    P2: Yes, we must skin it!
    DM: What?!
    P1: We need a tent, and it doesn't need it's skin. Win win.
    P2: Yessss, we must skin it!
    DM: Do either of your characters know how to tan hides or sew?! You'll ruin most of the hide!
    P1: Then we will skin everything we come in contact with until we have a gorram tent!

    'SKIN IT!' quickly became their battle-cry. When discovered they could get rations, daggers, and other useful adventuring supplies they had also failed to buy, it changed to 'Mangle it! Use every piece just like the Indians! Then...we SKIN IT!"
    Warriors & Wuxia: A community world-building project focused on low-magic wuxia/kung-fu action using ToB.

    "These 'no-nonsense' solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex world of jet-powered apes and time travel."

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Stillwater
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    And I said, "'I loot the room.'"
    Why the blank-out?

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Delta's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Southern Germany
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    Quote Originally Posted by rockdeworld View Post
    Why the blank-out?
    So you don't accidentally read the punchline before the build-up, I guess

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Essex, England
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Your Best OOC lines.

    "Is Cthulhu large?"

    Quote Originally Posted by mikej View Post
    Me: "Can I eat what's left of the dead duergar Fighter?"
    Group: " . . . "
    DM: " sure..."

    Few levels later

    Me: Can I eat what's left of the dead Centaur Fighter?"
    I rememver an old Punch cartoon with two men and a mermaid on a desert island. The line:

    "Be a sport, Jethro. Can't we eat the bottom half?"
    Warning: This posting may contain wit, wisdom, pathos, irony, satire, sarcasm and puns. And traces of nut.

    "The main skill of a good ruler seems to be not preventing the conflagrations but rather keeping them contained enough they rate more as campfires." Rogar Demonblud

    "Hold on just a d*** second. UK has spam callers that try to get you to buy conservatories?!? Even y'alls spammers are higher class than ours!" Peelee

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •