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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default New template: D'rath P.E.A.C.H.

    Welcome. I play Dnd 3.5 in Forgotten Realms Campaign settings and I've created a new playable template named D'rath.

    Background

    The mindflayers created the first d'rath around the Year of the Purple Basilisk (1247) as a magic-user servant. However, one day one of the illithids become alhoon (illithid lich). During the battle against the alhoon and the other mindflayer, most of the slaves (and d'raths) escaped or were killed. A few of the escapees live in Underdark and only two dozens or less walk on the surface or another plane.


    Creating a Dírath

    The looks of a Dírath vary from creature to creature. Some are breathtakingly beautiful. Others are hideous. Also, some are obviously different from birth, while others seem like their base creature until later in life. They speak the same languages as the base creatures from which they were derived.

    ďDírathĒ is an acquired template that can be added to any corporeal humanoid or monstrous humanoid (referred to hereafter as the base creature). A dírath has all the base creatureís characteristics except as noted here.


    • +2 Dexterity, +4 Constitution, +4 Intelligence
    • +1 racial bonus on all saving throws: Díraths are surprisingly capable of avoiding mishaps. But see Illithid Influence.
    • + 2 racial bonus on Listen and Spot checks because of their keen eyes and ears
    • Immunity to ability damage and drain.
    • Flight : D'rath can cease or resume flight as a free action, he can fly at his half of normal speed and has avarage maneuverability. At 10 HD fly with normal speed.
    • Strong back: A dírath is also considered to be one size larger to detemine the carrying capacity.
    • Gain darkvision at range 30ft. If base creature has natural darkvision improve it by 30 feet.
    • Illithid influence: A d'rath get -4 penalty on saves against Mind Flayers' enchantment effects.
    • +2 level adjustement.


    Whats your opinion?
    Is it playeble or strong one?


    Notes:
    penalty vs an Mind Flayer's enchantment effect - added
    darkvision - added
    no more inherited template
    Last edited by herbe; 2010-04-21 at 07:54 AM.
    I am willing and able to evaluate and critique homebrew material. PM me a link if you want an evaluation or a critique. If this applies to you too, put this in your sig.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    Its stronger than the winged template (however the flight provided is worse) but not much stronger. I would say its strong, solid LA 2, cutting the immunity to ability damage/drain would bring it in line, however that may vary from game to game.
    Last edited by peacenlove; 2010-03-12 at 02:02 PM.

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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    However, if u compare the d'rath template with half-dragon template which has +3 level adjustment with +14 stat, immunity to sleep, paralysis and one energy type, +4 natural armor bonus and natural weapons and ,of course, a breath weapon(6d8 damage against multiple targets). Moreover a half dragon maybe can fly better and have more hp. Thats why I think half-dragon template is better than d'rath.
    And clearly better than a template with +2 LA.
    Last edited by herbe; 2010-03-12 at 03:29 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lord Vukodlak's Avatar

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    Quote Originally Posted by herbe View Post
    However, if u compare the d'rath template with half-dragon template which has +3 level adjustment with +14 stat, immunity to sleep, paralysis and one energy type, +4 natural armor bonus and natural weapons and ,of course, a breath weapon(6d8 damage against multiple targets). Moreover a half dragon maybe can fly better and have more hp. Thats why I think half-dragon template is better than d'rath.
    And clearly better than a template with +2 LA.
    A half-dragon can only fly if the base creature is large size in addition its BIG bonus is into strength which has less value then a spellcasting stat when your talking big boosts.
    I do agree though your correct at about a +2 LA adjustment.

    I will say this, the thing about magical/psionic overlords they wouldn't want underlings wielding a power that could match them. Perhaps give the template something that gives them a penalty vs an Mind Flayer's enchantment effects
    Last edited by Lord Vukodlak; 2010-03-12 at 07:34 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Temotei's Avatar

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    I don't see a caster character ever using this, but perhaps an NPC would make good use of it...
    Homebrew
    Please feel free to PM me any thoughts on my homebrew (or comment in the thread if it's not too old).

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Creed's Avatar

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    these guys look great. great stat bonuses, flight (can you imagine a hook horror or an ettin with this template!)

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    Quote Originally Posted by Creed View Post
    (can you imagine a hook horror or an ettin with this template!)
    thats why only humanoids and monstrous humanoid can apply for it but it can be changed if others also want

    Quote Originally Posted by Creed View Post
    I will say this, the thing about magical/psionic overlords they wouldn't want underlings wielding a power that could match them. Perhaps give the template something that gives them a penalty vs an Mind Flayer's enchantment effects
    penalty vs an Mind Flayer's enchantment effects is really great idea i will use it
    humanoids or monstrous humanoids are "lesser races" and with a thrall (who is magicuser) they gain more spell per day becaused the thralls have to obey and creatures with this template dont have to be magic-user...
    For example a human rogue/assasin could be a very useful for mind flayers maybe against PCs


    Thanks for every comments - great ideas

    What about background? is it okay?

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Titan in the Playground
     
    DracoDei's Avatar

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    Do they breed true?
    Your English is very good, but could still use improvement... don't feel like providing specific corrections, and it is mostly clear enough...
    Why did the MindFlayers build in +4 INT?
    [Public Service Announcement]P.E.A.C.H stands for Please Examine And Critique Honestly[/Public Service Announcement]
    Currently Running: Equestria Begins (A High Tactics campaign)
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  9. - Top - End - #9
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    Quote Originally Posted by DracoDei View Post
    Do they breed true?
    Your English is very good, but could still use improvement... don't feel like providing specific corrections, and it is mostly clear enough...
    Why did the MindFlayers build in +4 INT?
    Sorry im not native english-speaker. Tell me whats not clear and i try correct it.
    You are the first who realise that this is an inherited template so yes they breed their slave but they not finished(in opinion of mindflayers) this "programme" because of alhoon (illithid lich)
    As i know wizard use int to cast and mindflayers wanted to create slaves who could use different kind of magic (mean: from spellbook) to support their own magic (most of servant use protective magic or spells which provide comfort of their master or simple craft magic items or scribe scrolls)
    Last edited by herbe; 2010-03-18 at 01:19 PM.
    I am willing and able to evaluate and critique homebrew material. PM me a link if you want an evaluation or a critique. If this applies to you too, put this in your sig.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath P.E.A.C.H.

    I changed my mind and changed inherited to acquired. But only some mindflayer can use this process to apply for his minions. Is still playable? Any gramatical mistake in the description? thanks for responses
    Last edited by herbe; 2010-04-20 at 10:48 AM.
    I am willing and able to evaluate and critique homebrew material. PM me a link if you want an evaluation or a critique. If this applies to you too, put this in your sig.

  11. - Top - End - #11

    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    This is VERY cool overall. I'd use it within an archivist build!

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath P.E.A.C.H.

    Here's my proofread version (correcting some grammatical errors and making some minor changes). Your English is very good. English is not an easy second language to master.
    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by herbe View Post
    Welcome. I play D&D 3.5 in Forgotten Realms Campaign settings and I've created a new playable template named "D'rath."

    Background:

    The mindflayers created the first d'rath around the Year of the Purple Basilisk (1247) as a magic-user servant. However, one day one of the illithids become alhoon (illithid lich). During the battle against the alhoon and the other mindflayer, most of the slaves (and d'raths) escaped or were killed. A few of the escapees live in Underdark, and only two dozen or fewer walk on the surface.

    Creating a Dírath

    The looks of a Dírath vary from creature to creature. Some are breathtakingly beautiful; others are hideous. Also, some are obviously different from the base creature from birth, while others seem like their base creature until later in life. They speak the same languages as the base creatures from which they were derived.

    ďDírathĒ is an acquired template that can be added to any corporeal humanoid or monstrous humanoid (referred to hereafter as the base creature). A dírath has all the base creatureís characteristics except as noted here.

    • +2 Dexterity, +4 Constitution, +4 Intelligence
    • +1 racial bonus on all saving throws: Díraths are surprisingly capable of avoiding mishaps. But see Illithid Influence.
    • + 2 racial bonus on Listen and Spot checks because of their keen eyes and ears
    • Immunity to ability damage and drain.
    • Flight : D'rath can cease or resume flight as a free action, he can fly at his half of normal speed and has average maneuverability. At 10 HD fly with normal speed.
    • Strong back: A dírath is also considered to be one size larger to determine the carrying capacity.
    • Gain darkvision at range 30 ft. If base creature has natural darkvision, improve it by 30 feet.
    • Illithid influence: A d'rath get -4 penalty on saves against Mind Flayers' enchantment effects.
    • +2 level adjustement.


    What's your opinion?
    Is it playable, or strong one?

    Notes:
    penalty vs a Mind Flayer's enchantment effect - added
    darkvision - added
    no more inherited template


    I have a few questions:

    Although you say the new creature is either breathtaking beautiful or hideously ugly, you didn't give it any mechanics to explain this. How does it looks vary from its base creature? Does it have a 50-50 chance to get +10 or -10 to charisma for example? Don't throw out fluff that doesn't have a mechanic to go along with it.

    Since the creature gains flight, does it get wings or is the Flight supernatural in origin?

    Also, show me a sample creature with this template. A first level human warrior with the Drath template is a perfect example.

    Does Strong Back work like Powerful Build? See Half giant. If so, rename it Powerful Build for consistency.

    Here is the wording on powerful build from the half giant:

    Powerful Build (Ex): The physical stature of half-giants lets them function in many ways as if they were one size category larger. Whenever a half-giant is subject to a size modifier or special size modifier for an opposed check (such as during grapple checks, bull rush attempts, and trip attempts), the half-giant is treated as one size larger if doing so is advantageous to him. A half-giant is also considered to be one size larger when determining whether a creatureís special attacks based on size (such as improved grab or swallow whole) can affect him. A half-giant can use weapons designed for a creature one size larger without penalty. However, his space and reach remain those of a creature of his actual size. The benefits of this racial trait stack with the effects of powers, abilities, and spells that change the subjectís size category.
    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2010-04-20 at 02:52 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
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  13. - Top - End - #13
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: New template: D'rath

    First af all thanks for responses, I've changed the first post.

    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman
    I have a few questions:

    • Although you say the new creature is either breathtaking beautiful or hideously ugly, you didn't give it any mechanics to explain this. How does it looks vary from its base creature? Does it have a 50-50 chance to get +10 or -10 to charisma for example? Don't throw out fluff that doesn't have a mechanic to go along with it.
    • Since the creature gains flight, does it get wings or is the Flight supernatural in origin?
    • Does Strong Back work like Powerful Build? See Half giant. If so, rename it Powerful Build for consistency.

    Answers:
    • Appereance depends on base creatures. For example a nymphs are remain breathtaking beautiful but a mongrelfolks are hideously ugly, thats true to templated ones, too.
    • Yes, flight is a supernatural ability similar to ogre mages.
    • Definitly no, creature with powerful build can wield greater weapons and gain bonus on grapple, bull rush, trip .... while Strong back provide only greater carrying capacity.
    Finally there is an example creature:
    Spoiler
    Show
    D'rath scribe
    N Male D'rath(augmented human) Commoner1
    Medium-size humanoid
    HD 1d4+2; hp 5
    Speed 30 ft. (6 squares); Flight 15 ft
    Init: +1
    AC 11; touch 11; flat-footed 10 (10 + 1 dexterity bonus)
    BAB +0; Grp +0
    Attack +0 (1d6/X3, club)
    Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
    Special Attacks
    None
    Special Qualities
    Drath traits, Immunites, Strong back,
    Saves Fort +3 Ref +2 Will +1 (Illithid influence)
    Abilities: Str 10, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 15, Wis 10, Cha 10
    Skills: Craft (Calligraphy) +9, Craft(Papermaking) +9, Craft(Bookbinding) +9, Decipher Script +6, +2 Listen, +2 Spot
    Feats: Skill Focus(Craft (Calligraphy)), Skill Focus (Craft (Papermaking))
    Challenge Rating 1
    Level Adjustment +2
    I am willing and able to evaluate and critique homebrew material. PM me a link if you want an evaluation or a critique. If this applies to you too, put this in your sig.

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