Lamest RPG Moments

[cenghiz]

Yey, this is the story about; why my friends won't let me DM horror movies any more.

I have a special homebrew system. It is all about realism - wound system in which separate organs can be damaged and cause specific trouble + skill-based improvement + body-specific stats, like, your arms' strength is different from your legs' strength which is still different from your upper body strength.

Of course, I always play it with notebook, there's no way I can play it without the spiffy program I wrote for it.

About two months ago, my friends asked me to DM a 'Call of Cthulhu' for them. Not only I'm slightly alien to Lovecraft, I also do not know how the occult can be represented in my system. So I said, I'd prepare something different. You have watched Ju-en, a.k.a The Grudge? That's what I thought whould be spooky.

I worked hard, every night, in secrecy, because my wife would play too. Friday night, we met at my house. Did I tell you I have a very cute sound system and an overhead projector which can easily work on a white wall in dim light? The walls of my study room is light green, but it still works perfectly.

So.. The game goes on. They feel the uneasy stuff, they hear about disappearances. They investigate and see glimpses of some queer voices, the boy does the 'run' and I play the sound file of naked footsteps fading in and out. The tension is maxxed out. Then, their first encounter with the cute child from the same movie; - Yes I shamelessly ripped off a portion in which he 'meow's close-up - I play the meowing in the second monitor, which is the overhead projector. My wife starts trembling. A friend backs away and falls flat on his bottom. A girlfriend starts screaming and we can't stop her. My neighbour, who is an ex-lieutenant starts banging on the door in moments. Before I can rush to the door, being the army brute of respectable physical power he frigging smashes down the door and lunges in with his service pistol. We, of course, do not proceed the story, about 5% of which is yet used.

We turn the lights on, wife makes coffee for all of us. The friend who fell on his bottom seems to have a problem with his back. The female friend who was screaming can barely hold herself together. The last friend of mine seems fine, because we watched all three episodes together and I had hinted him about the scenario little. Our neighbour - Uncle Yahya is so frustrated that - possibly he's frustrated because he didn't get to kill anyone - we can barely call him down. The locksmith in on the way.

It was friday night, so it's been three days. My wife still can't sleep alone and she tagged along to my office today, bringing along our 1.5-year-old daughter. She spent the day playing online games in one of the computers. I believe my friends will never play a RP game with me, at least they won't let me DM any more. I ruined my DMing career by overpreparing.

[Ranzunar]

One of the lamest treasures soon became the most epic one. We went through a dungeon and among many of the treasures at the end we found a Still Metamagic Rod. There's something odd about a stick that has to be moved around in order to cast a spell by not moving at all. Our party tended to be pack rats and we kept extra treasures that we couldn't use all the time. A few sessions later, we are fighting in an airship against this multiheaded dragon that was severely pwning us. The polymorphing sorceror decides to cast fly and be under the ship, having transformed into a roper, and strength drain the dragon. I suddenly remember about the still metamagic rod which is in his Handy Haversack on the airship. One tentacle grab later, we figured out that polymorphed creatures of varied anatomies can cast empowered fireballs quite well.