I have the greatest GM ever.

[Dust]

So settle in for a ridiculous story. By the end of it you'll be wishing you could partake of this; the most amazing tabletop game ever conceieved. Either that or you'll feel your brain bubbling away. Hopefully the former.


It's been a pretty serious few months for our local group. We had just lost to the BEEG in a year-long campaign, failed miserably at Werewolf: the Apocalypse, and spent a few weeks playing the Call of Cthulhu and Descent board games. (If you don't know the latter, it's extremely player-versus-player, often frustratingly so.)

So when one of the players who rarely runs anything pitched a short Monsters and other Childish Things game, we thought we knew what we were getting into.

We created grade-two children with horiffic monster pals (including a sentient energy field capable of possessing technology, a flaming nightmare steed that 'hides' in plain sight as a My Little Pony doll, an ancient aztec diety and others) and settled in for the game.

It opened simply enough, with our lovable teacher informing us that it was Field Trip day. Everything has a rather creepy edge to it, and we board the smoke-spewing bus hesitantly. Turns out we're going to The Museum, which is boasting a new exhibit that none of us bother to learn about. The signs show an expedition has recovered an ancient tome that is now on display, and the museum is giving off a quietly sinister vibe.

Pretty standard stuff so far.

We begin to notice things, but not the usual pre-horror visitations that we're all expecting. Owls - possibly animatronic - fill the rafters, and we spot at least one museum security guard wearing a red football jersy and a nametag that said 'TATE'. Briefly we catch sight of a cat, but it's more than three feet long and seems to almost slither around a corner. We fail to notice the sound of wheels and the displacement of air as something invisible moves past us.

Our party has split up at this point, slowly moving towards the new exhibit, and our GM starts queing up sound files on the computer. And all hell breaks loose when my nerdy, video-game obssessed character finally takes a minute to read exactly what the new exhibit is. The picture of the black-bound grimoire was telling enough, but what we didn't expect was the title on the book.

The Nomnomicon.

It happened simaltaneously. The ground begins to shake and a loud, boistrous voice roars out "LEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROY JENNNNNKINS!!!!" as a man clad in fullplate and being pursued by hundreds - no, THOUSANDS - of tiny flapping dragons explodes from around the museum corner. Another party member hears loud, thumping techno music followed by an enormous, bare-chested, blonde-haired viking of a man appearing, dancing powerfully to the beat.
Another character comes face to face with an enormous dragonoid creature with wings, a giant beefy arm coming out of the back of its neck, angry eyebrows, lines of majesty, burning up everything in sight.

"So tell me," our GM said with a grin as he ended the first session, "...do you liek mudkipz?"

[Volkov]

So settle in for a ridiculous story. By the end of it you'll be wishing you could partake of this; the most amazing tabletop game ever conceieved. Either that or you'll feel your brain bubbling away. Hopefully the former.


It's been a pretty serious few months for our local group. We had just lost to the BEEG in a year-long campaign, failed miserably at Werewolf: the Apocalypse, and spent a few weeks playing the Call of Cthulhu and Descent board games. (If you don't know the latter, it's extremely player-versus-player, often frustratingly so.)

So when one of the players who rarely runs anything pitched a short Monsters and other Childish Things game, we thought we knew what we were getting into.

We created grade-two children with horiffic monster pals (including a sentient energy field capable of possessing technology, a flaming nightmare steed that 'hides' in plain sight as a My Little Pony doll, an ancient aztec diety and others) and settled in for the game.

It opened simply enough, with our lovable teacher informing us that it was Field Trip day. Everything has a rather creepy edge to it, and we board the smoke-spewing bus hesitantly. Turns out we're going to The Museum, which is boasting a new exhibit that none of us bother to learn about. The signs show an expedition has recovered an ancient tome that is now on display, and the museum is giving off a quietly sinister vibe.

Pretty standard stuff so far.

We begin to notice things, but not the usual pre-horror visitations that we're all expecting. Owls - possibly animatronic - fill the rafters, and we spot at least one museum security guard wearing a red football jersy and a nametag that said 'TATE'. Briefly we catch sight of a cat, but it's more than three feet long and seems to almost slither around a corner. We fail to notice the sound of wheels and the displacement of air as something invisible moves past us.

Our party has split up at this point, slowly moving towards the new exhibit, and our GM starts queing up sound files on the computer. And all hell breaks loose when my nerdy, video-game obssessed character finally takes a minute to read exactly what the new exhibit is. The picture of the black-bound grimoire was telling enough, but what we didn't expect was the title on the book.

The Nomnomicon.

It happened simaltaneously. The ground begins to shake and a loud, boistrous voice roars out "LEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROY JENNNNNKINS!!!!" as a man clad in fullplate and being pursued by hundreds - no, THOUSANDS - of tiny flapping dragons explodes from around the museum corner. Another party member hears loud, thumping techno music followed by an enormous, bare-chested, blonde-haired viking of a man appearing, dancing powerfully to the beat.
Another character comes face to face with an enormous dragonoid creature with wings, a giant beefy arm coming out of the back of its neck, angry eyebrows, lines of majesty, burning up everything in sight.

"So tell me," our GM said with a grin as he ended the first session, "...do you liek mudkipz?"

That dragon has a name...and it's name is TROGDOR! Burninating the country side! Burninating all the peoples...AND THEIR THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!

[AtopTheMountain]

That dragon has a name...and it's name is TROGDOR! Burninating the country side! Burninating all the peoples...AND THEIR THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!

Trogdor was a man! I mean... he was a Dragon man! Or... maybe he was just a dragon... but he was still TROGDOOOOR!

Ahem.

Anyway, your DM does, in fact, sound really cool.

Side note: Was Leroy Jenkins a Dwarf?

[BRC]

That dragon has a name...and it's name is TROGDOR! Burninating the country side! Burninating all the peoples...AND THEIR THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!

Hey, Trogdor was a man.
Or maybe he was a dragon man.
Or maybe he was just a dragon...
but he was still TROGDOR!

Edit: Be careful, you may be set up the bomb.

[AslanCross]

Do you have a beaker? This grayish liquid came out of my ears. I think it's my brain. I need to have it checked out.

[Yukitsu]

Remember to avoid the bears.

[PersonMan]

Hey, Trogdor was a man.
Or maybe he was a dragon man.
Or maybe he was just a dragon...
but he was still TROGDOR!

Edit: Be careful, you may be set up the bomb.

Do we still have all our base?

[Dragero]

Are you accepting new players?

[BRC]

Do we still have all our base?

Yes, but somebody is in there, killing our dudes.

[AslanCross]

Watch out for the bearded barbarian warrior whose battlecries consist entirely of indignantly stating his country's name, or informing his men of their infernal banquet that evening.

He also wields a +5 everdancing banana.

[Dust]

Watch out for the bearded barbarian warrior whose battlecries consist entirely of indignantly stating his country's name.[/i]

Now that's stuck in my head.

[BRC]

and we spot at least one museum security guard wearing a red football jersy and a nametag that said 'TATE'.

I don't get what this is a reference too.

Also, look out for red headed musicians promising that they will never give you up.

[Yukitsu]

I don't get what this is a reference too.

Also, look out for red headed musicians promising that they will never give you up.

Terry Tate, office linebacker. Check it out on youtube.

[BRC]

Terry Tate, office linebacker. Check it out on youtube.

Oh right, I remember that now.

[Tequila Sunrise]

I'm so lost.

...Descent board games. (If you don't know the latter, it's extremely player-versus-player, often frustratingly so.)

You mean every man for himself, or overlord vs. heroes? I play with mostly relaxed people so I haven't noticed any extreme PvP.

[Dust]

Players vs Overlord, yes. It's still a very antagonistic game that can be interesting when played at the end of a series of Players vs GM.

[AtopTheMountain]

When does the fat guy singing "Numa Numa" show up?

[Shademan]

well my players DID blow up a mountain using CANCER.
so I reckon they put me in this category

[Gametime]

Boy, that long cat sounds like it was looooooooooooooooooooooong.

[Squark]

Yeah, I think your GM is... interesting, to say the least.

[pffh]

Beware the old man with the epic beard, you can't beat him. He'll knock you down and forget his groceries.

[Weimann]

If you see any laser... run. It's charging.

[dukexx]

Awesome as your DM may be, I must point out that no DM ever, EVER, will surpass Silverclawshift's.

[Dust]

You'll have to link me to some of the stories, I don't think I've heard of the greatness that is Silverclaw's GM.

[dukexx]

That's...blasphemy. There are two of her campaign journals up here somewhere, they are FANTASTIC reads. Anyone who hasn't should. Like, now.

[Bibliomancer]

I'd be surprised if he could keep it up for more than a session or two, without using memes that are so obscure that you'd need to check with the Librarian to determine their origin and prevent the human nervous system from being hacked. [/Snowcrash]

Additionally, since you're in grade two (and thus short), are you being taken to Isengard?

[aje8]

Welcome to the cult of SilverClawSwift's DM. Your intiation, read this. It contains the exploits of SilverClawSwift and her party.

Regardless, that meme thing from your DM seems like it could get, shall we say, out of hand, very very fast.