Gamebreaker ideas needed (3.5)

[WarKitty]

Ok, so our part is currently up against a red dragon wyrm and 2 wyrmlings. We actually stopped right before combat commenced last round. Here's our party:

Druid 4/Fighter 1 (me) with a wolf companion. Has bonus spells due to Wis 19
Gnome Bard 5, also has bonus spells for Cha 18
2 level 5 clerics, both CN, one can cast cure and one inflict spontaneously. Both have death domain, not sure what else
One dwarven fighter, level 5
One Drow Rouge, also level 5
One zombie bear, controlled by the cleric
One DMNPC boy who randomly stabs things
One pet arctic fox that has been trained to retrieve health potions from packs and feed them to unconscious players
One demon lover of one of the clerics (long story)

Items available:
potions of spell restoration, each spellcaster can use up to 3 of these per day, restores one spell slot of the caster's choice
health potions, heals 10hp per potion, lots
potions of acid, lots, can be prestidigitated and dumped onto monsters
potion of "brown", which apparently turns the drinker into some sort of really big animal
one potion of smite good (yes the draqon is LG in spite of the rules)
several potions of "pink", which is apparently a really strong alcoholic beverage
One sword called the excalibug, which does random effects based on variables such as the user's birthday and the number of elves in the world
One dagger of icy burst
One sword of non-thian (one of the cities) bane
One flying carpet, requires the bard to sing to operate it
Lots of random junk, mostly carried by the dwarf

So, no, this isn't exactly a level appropriate encounter. Probably because lasts level-appropriate BBEG we just about one-shotted by dumping holy water on the demon. (Actually we would have one-shotted it if the DM hadn't decided to cap the damage.) So, breaking the game in any and all ways we can think of here is encouraged.

Ideas?

[Eldariel]

*sigh* Breaking game is bad for you, but if you really need to, all you need is one Candle of Invocation (get a Solar or whatever to solo the Dragons) or Dust of Sneezing and Choking (no matter if it makes the Fort-save or not, it'll be disabled; if it has an item that obviates the need for breathing, you'll need to Dispel it first tho). Both are in the DMG, and quite affordable...

If you can't get either, your best plan is to sacrifice the animal companion and run to different directions, hiding and hope they don't care enough to follow. 'cause even if run completely without any semblance of competence, the Dragon will annihilate you. It doesn't even need its magic or breath weapon, just its physical powers are enough (for the record, if it were a Tarrasque, you'd have no trouble). Frightful Presence alone will **** you over if it even just takes actions to Intimidate you; you'll be running like chickens and no, it doesn't matter what you do.

[Altair_the_Vexed]

Maybe this is your "run away" moment?

You know, like the DMG says you should put one encounter the PCs are supposed to back down from in every game?

[WarKitty]

Just to be clear: We are AT THE ENCOUNTER NOW. There is no shopping going on. There is also no place to run. And we already tried to talk our way out of it.

And everyone, including the DM, is quite cool with breaking the game. We do it all the time. It's great fun.

Oh yeah, and I think the DM forgot about/isn't using the frightful presence.

[Divide by Zero]

Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu?

[WarKitty]

P.S. This is the type of game where "I throw a rock up the dragon's nose to make it sneeze" would be considered a perfectly valid tactic. Which is why the DM gives us overpowered encounters.

[Eldariel]

P.S. This is the type of game where "I throw a rock up the dragon's nose to make it sneeze" would be considered a perfectly valid tactic. Which is why the DM gives us overpowered encounters.

Use Create Water to conjure water in the Wyrm's lungs until it drowns?

[MandibleBones]

Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu?

Words cannot express how much of a good idea this is, since your cleric is already clearly cool with Teh Demons.

I mean, sure, he'll corrupt you into a slavering, mad shell of a sentient being who hungers only for the destruction of the world through orbital bombardment, but that's the long-term. Who thinks about the long term?

[Tinydwarfman]

Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu?

You can't go wrong with a free candle of invocation. Unfortunately, you don't have a paladin, so you won't get it completely for free, but this is still your best option.

[Flob]

I agree, Pazuzu is your best option (in my personal medical opinion). Your conversation should go something like "Pazuzu, Pazuzu, Pazuzu. Don't bother with the wish, go kill those dragons over there." Job over.

[WarKitty]

Ok I'm confused? Does the Pazuzu summoning thing require the candle of invocation? Because we don't have anywhere to get that.

[Eldariel]

Ok I'm confused? Does the Pazuzu summoning thing require the candle of invocation? Because we don't have anywhere to get that.

No, Pazuzu responds to anyone who calls his name three times and grants you a Wish, with which to corrupt you. You can just Wish for a Candle of Invocation which you can use to Gate in a creature capable of dealing with the Wyrm, or Wish it into oblivion or some such.

[Shiva asori]

Nope, I just needs you to be willing to say his name and changing your alignment.

(edit: ninja'd)

[Flob]

Got my copy of the Fiendish Codex I right here, give me a minute and I will edit in EXACTLY what is needed in a sec.

Utter name 3 times.
Wait up to one minute for him to appear.
Pazuzu almost always agrees to aid peoples.
Your alignment will shift to chaotic. If it can't, it will shift to evil. He will not help chaotic evil people.
He will help you in the way he finds easiest, usually through wish.

[Heliomance]

Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu?

Hastur Hastur Hast*mmph*

[Private-Prinny]

DC 25 Knowledge (The Planes) check to know about the wishes. If you're a LG character, especially a paladin, he'll make extra sure that the wish doesn't bite you in the ass. You can just wish for a Candle of Invocation.

[Divide by Zero]

Ok I'm confused? Does the Pazuzu summoning thing require the candle of invocation? Because we don't have anywhere to get that.

Wish for a candle of invocation, proceed to chain-gate solars. Or use one of the other many options for wish abuse.

[Lateral]

Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu?

Hastur Hastur Hast*mmph*

Candlejack Candlejack Candle--
Seriously. Third time this month. Some people never learn, amiright?

Ok, serious time. First of all, try chucking Excalibug at it first. If that doesn't work, use the brown potion, force the dragon's mouth open, and then, in any order:
1) Chuck the acid potions in, have cleric shatter them. (UBER ulcer.)
2) Throw the booze potions in, then have cleric shatter them, then flaming sphere. (Molotov cocktail, anyone?)
3) Hit him inna head with the smite good potion.
4) He's a red dragon, right? Do some cold damage.
5) Pyrotechnics a torch and make the smoke go into his lungs.

[WarKitty]

Nice. I seriously doubt Pazuzu actually exists in this world though.

Now, create water in the dragon's nostrils...that would probably work, at least enough to buy a round or two.

[kestrel404]

Bah. As a GM, if someone tried to use 'Pazuzu' in my game, they would get his demonic voicemail which asks you to leave your message after the sonic boom...which causes 1d6 damage and deafens anyone who hears it.

No, what you need is a 'cunning plan'.

Your first action should be to give the 'potion of brown' to that trained fox, and then have the entire party 'aid another' the fox as it feeds to potion to the dragon. Poof, elder wyrm becomes dire wolf (or something, anything really is better than ancient wyrm).
If only you had two more of these potions, you would be all set. But instead, I recommend feading the potions of pink to the wyrmlings. Or better yet, coat excalibug with one of those potions, and have the zombie bear attack them with it. I mean, that's got to do SOMETHING, right?

Also, break out the cooking equipment. Seriously, go into the camp rations and find your pepper shaker. Then use THAT as 'powder of sneezing'. The bigger the nose, the harder it sneezes!

If all else fails, attempt to get eaten, then stab the dragon from the inside. I mean, the safest place to fight the tarrasque from is INSIDE the tarrasque. Ancient dragons can't be that different, right? This tactic is best attempted after a witty quote, like: "That dragon's hide isn't so tough! After all, which side of the dog has the least hair?"

[Lycanthromancer]

Anyone have Bluff and Perform (obviously the bard...)? Pretend to be wandering performers, and that you'd heard about what wondrous and wonderful patrons the dragons would be. Say you've performed before kings, and that you wish to give a pro-bono performance for such magnificent creatures. Then have the bard sing atop the magic carpet, have the animal companion do tricks, and have the demon (succubus?) do a sultry an exotic dance, if she can*.

In short, try to impress them.

And whatever you do, don't try to (or even insinuate that you're going to) slay them or take their hoard.

You can always do that later.





*Gotta keep it PG for the wyrmlings.

[WarKitty]

If all else fails, attempt to get eaten, then stab the dragon from the inside. I mean, the safest place to fight the tarrasque from is INSIDE the tarrasque. Ancient dragons can't be that different, right? This tactic is best attempted after a witty quote, like: "That dragon's hide isn't so tough! After all, which side of the dog has the least hair?"

Believe it or not this is actually what we did to the last dragon we fought. Sounds like a good plan for the skeletal bear.

We were thinking of zombifying the wyrmlings...we do have the stuff to do it with available.

[Greenish]

Also, break out the cooking equipment. Seriously, go into the camp rations and find your pepper shaker. Then use THAT as 'powder of sneezing'. The bigger the nose, the harder it sneezes!

It's a huge red dragon. If it sneezes, the PCs will be toast. Literally.

[Eldariel]

It's a huge red dragon. If it sneezes, the PCs will be toast. Literally.

Case in point, Red Wyrm's breath does 22d10 damage with undoable save, thus averaging 121 damage killing just about every level 5 character even with a natural 20 on the save.

[Flob]

...Mabye its an ooppttiiccaall iilluussiioonn....

[Lycanthromancer]

Case in point, Red Wyrm's breath does 22d10 damage with undoable save, thus averaging 121 damage killing just about every level 5 character even with a natural 20 on the save.

All the more reason to make them like you as entertainers and allies, rather than as dinner.

Immediately act as though they're what you've been searching for, and that you're REALLY happy and excited to see them.

Gush over them (words, not blood; we're trying to avoid the blood here), and try to act genuinely impressed over how beautiful and intimidating they are (you may not have to pretend here).

If you put on a good enough attempt at a show, the DM may reward you, rather than serving you as a fry-up.

Were you actively trying to find these guys, or are they an...ahem...random encounter?

[Shiva asori]

do the clerics have the spell "Shivering touch" ready?

[WarKitty]

Well, it's more like he found us...apparently he has a grudge against our group for existing.

[WarKitty]

do the clerics have the spell "Shivering touch" ready?

SRD only extra characters here

[Lycanthromancer]

Well, it's more like he found us...apparently he has a grudge against our group for existing.

That would be a 'no,' then.

Can you Bluff your way out?

Also, take cover ASAP.