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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    Cable Demon
    Medium Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar, Evil)
    HD 10d8+50 (95 HP)
    Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
    Init: +6
    AC 20; touch 16; flat-footed 18
    (+4 Natural, +2 Dex, +4 Deflection)
    BAB +10; Grp +18
    Attack Cable whip +14 (2d4+4 lethal)
    Full-Attack 2 Cable whips +14 (2d4+4 lethal)
    Space 5 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
    Special Attacks Maelstrom of Metal, Improved Grab, Living Cables, Constrict
    Special Qualities Deflecting Web, Damage Reduction 10/good, darkvision 60 ft., immunity to electricity and poison, acid resistance 10, cold resistance 10, fire resistance 10, telepathy 100 ft., Spell resistance 18
    Saves Fort +12 Ref +9 Will +8
    Abilities Str 18, Dex 14, Con 21, Int 9, Wis 13, Cha 16
    Skills Climb +17, Concentration +16, Escape Artist +15, Intimidate +13, Jump +17, Listen +14, Tumble +14
    Feats Improved Grapple, Power Attack, Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative
    Environment A chaotic evil-aligned plane
    Organization Solitary or pair
    Challenge Rating 9
    Treasure Standard
    Alignment Always Chaotic Evil
    Advancement 11-16 (Medium)
    Level Adjustment +8

    The figure, at its base, has an almost human form, but sallow and sturdy, with an odd grayness to its skin. But at the edges it quickly differs, with long cables of woven steel splitting through the flesh of the body in dozens of places into long waving ropes and coils of metal wire, nearly two inches across in places. As it's mouth opens, small tendrils of twisted wire seek twitchingly in the air.

    Maelstrom of Metal (Su): As a full round action, a cable demon can extend additional cables, and whip them in a wide twisting and storming circle of metal. The demon may make one attack at its full base attack bonus at every creature within its reach. When used, a cable demon cannot use this ability again until 1d4 rounds later.

    Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a cable demon must hit with a cable whip attack. It may then begin a grapple as a free action.

    Constrict (Ex): A cable demon deals 1d6+4 points of damage with a successful grapple check.

    Living Cables (Su): Whenever a cable demon initiates a grapple, it must succeed on a DC 20 Fortitude save, or else the cables initiating the grapple tear from its body and attack the target themselves. This deals 1d4+2 damage to the cable demon. If loosed in this way, the cables will grapple the target for 1d4+1 rounds, and attempt to constrict every round, at the same grapple bonus and constrict damage as the cable demon. If the grapple is escaped, the cables fall limp and useless.

    Deflecting Web (Ex): The wildly shifting tendrils of the cable demon often catch attacks and hurl them out of the way. The cable demon gains a Deflection bonus to AC equal to its Strength modifier.

    [hr]

    Man, I haven't done just a little one shot of homebrew in far too long. I do need to get back to it. Of course making this gave me another idea for an adventure. Hopefully I'll get around to writing up and posting some of these one shot adventures when I finish my campaign.

    Inspiration in this case being simply steel cables. I decided to make it as the demonic response to the Chain Devil, the Kyton, and here we are. I like how it turned out.

    Edit: some modifications and fixes made thanks to comments.
    Last edited by Icewalker; 2010-05-10 at 01:22 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    Maelstrom of Metal should have an upper limit as to how many creatures it can attack and needs information regarding how often it can use this ability. Also, you should note how far the cables can reach. If it is only 10 ft., the party can easily keep out of range. I would recommend a 20-foot range rather than just the 10 foot range.

    I think you have the CR set too high. It makes a difference because a typical 10th level party will have magic that is quite effective against this. It is especially vulnerable to a successful hold monster spell because all its offensive capability is based on its ability to move. Also, it doesn't have any ranged attacks. Against a party with ranged weapons, it is at a serious disadvantage. Whips are reach weapon and deal non-lethal damage. I think you should mention that cable whips deal lethal damage.

    When monsters take damage for using their attacks, it makes them significantly weaker than would otherwise be the case. It takes 2d4+4 points of damage every time it uses its maelstrom of metal (whether or not the attack is successful) AND whenever it loses a cable. With a Fort of +12, that DC 20 could be problematic. The party would hardly have to damage it since it will keep damaging itself. I recommend that it take half damage from losing a cable and no damage from its maelstrom of metal ability.

    Note that the chain devil is CR 6, doesn't take any damage from its special abilities and it has regeneration 2. It also has a gaze attack that weakens its opponents.

    Deflection bonuses come from magic and I don't see anything that gives it the deflection bonus. There should be a special ability that grants this or simply change natural armor to +8 and remove the deflection bonus altogether.

    Do they have a language? If so, they should speak Abyssal.

    I'm not sure why it has Blind-Fight as a feat since it has darkvision. It probably should have Cleave instead.

    One more thing. Maelstorm of metal is a supernatural attack. It should hit automatically and not rely on BAB. It doesn't need a saving throw but you should note how many times a day the creature can use this ability.

    Final edit: Creatures usually increase in size when they double their hit dice. I recommend changing advancement to 11-20 (Large).


    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2010-05-10 at 01:51 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    Maelstrom of Metal should have an upper limit as to how many creatures it can attack and needs information regarding how often it can use this ability. Also, you should note how far the cables can reach. If it is only 10 ft., the party can easily keep out of range. I would recommend a 20-foot range rather than just the 10 foot range.
    It's effectively whirlwind attack. An increase in range is definitely not a necessary addition, a 10 foot reach whirlwind attack is already a pretty powerful ability.

    I think you have the CR set too high. It makes a difference because a typical 10th level party will have magic that is quite effective against this. It is especially vulnerable to a successful hold monster spell because all its offensive capability is based on its ability to move. Also, it doesn't have any ranged attacks. Against a party with ranged weapons, it is at a serious disadvantage. Whips are reach weapon and deal non-lethal damage. I think you should mention that cable whips deal lethal damage.
    You may be right on the CR just based on the magic. Lots of high CR monsters have no ranged capabilities, and it does have high DR. It is assumed that a weapon is lethal as a default, although whips aren't, so I suppose it may be worth mentioning.

    When monsters take damage for using their attacks, it makes them significantly weaker than would otherwise be the case. It takes 2d4+4 points of damage every time it uses its maelstrom of metal (whether or not the attack is successful) AND whenever it loses a cable. With a Fort of +12, that DC 20 could be problematic. The party would hardly have to damage it since it will keep damaging itself. I recommend that it take half damage from losing a cable and no damage from its maelstrom of metal ability.
    Honestly, if it weren't for demons being chaotic entities, it would willingly fail it's save regularly, a loosed cable probably takes an opponent out of combat. But it could use more hp to counter that self-damaging, and/or have the damage reduced. I think I should remove it from Maelstrom, you're right.

    Note that the chain devil is CR 6, doesn't take any damage from its special abilities and it has regeneration 2. It also has a gaze attack that weakens its opponents. This creature should be CR 8 at best.
    Also note that the chain devil has half the HP and half the DR, and less than half the resistances and immunities. Nonetheless, I too was a little suspicious of that CR given how easy it looks to drop, that's just the result I got from VT's method.

    Spell resistance could be increased to 20 (10 + Creature's HD).
    Actually I checked this one in detail before figuring it out, and the method actually varies widely for creatures. Devils have SR 11+HD, with just a couple exceptions. Demons have 10 + half HD, or 10+half HD+Cha mod. I chose the latter because it is the most common among demons. None have 10 + HD, I believe, in core at least.

    Deflection bonuses come from magic and I don't see anything that gives it the deflection bonus. There should be a special ability that grants this or simply change natural armor to +8 and remove the deflection bonus altogether.
    Ah yes, I was going to throw in a quality of Strength as Deflection bonus to AC, as the cables throw off incoming attacks. Forgot to write it in.

    Do they have a language? If so, they should speak Abyssal.
    Yes, but this isn't a standard part of a stat block. They're intelligent demons, so it'd be Abyssal, yeah.

    I'm not sure why it has Blind-Fight as a feat since it has darkvision. It probably should have Cleave instead. It makes much more sense for the party to have Blind-Fight than the monster. The typical party probably won't be invisible unless they all have rings of invisibility and at CR 8, it's not likely that they will. Typical wealth for CR 8 is 49,000 and a single ring of invisibility is worth 20,000.
    Honestly it was pretty much a 'why not'. I was looking for another feat to use, and I saw another demon with Blind Fight, and said why not, it would be a creepy addition, and is useful in the vague potential situation. Also, there's a good bit of invisibility at 10th level, at least enough that it wouldn't be at all surprising to have an invisible party member.

    One more thing. Maelstorm of metal is a supernatural attack. It should hit automatically and not rely on BAB. It doesn't need a saving throw but you should note how many times a day the creature can use this ability.
    It's basically whirlwind attack as an Su ability. I think a 10 foot radius whirlwind attack is reasonable without a per day limit. But I think a once per 1d4 rounds limit is a good idea though, especially if removing the damage cost of the ability.

    Final edit: Creatures usually increase in size when they double their hit dice. I recommend changing advancement to 11-20 (Large).
    Depends on the creature. As these seem human as a base, they shouldn't change size when they change HD, similar to succubi. Although it is a big boost, so maybe the suggested advancement should stop before 20.



    Thanks for all the editing. Good to be back and active here in the homebrew section. By which I mean 'just dropping by' because I'm still finishing my campaign and won't be done for at least another month or so before editing.
    Last edited by Icewalker; 2010-05-10 at 01:20 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    Using VT's CR calculator, I get 10 CR too, but don't forget it is only a rough calculator. To get a real number you'd have to play-test it. At second glance, it is probably closer to 9 than 10. I was probably guessing too low guessing at 8. That DR 10 could be the sticking point.

    I hadn't thought to check to see how the designer's assign SR. I knew it was based on HD but I incorrectly guessed it at 10 + HD. Thanks for letting me know how it's done. 10 + 1/2 HD + Cha modifier. So 18 it is.

    Looks a lot better now.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    I hadn't thought to check to see how the designer's assign SR. I knew it was based on HD but I incorrectly guessed it at 10 + HD. Thanks for letting me know how it's done. 10 + 1/2 HD + Cha modifier. So 18 it is.
    I would suggest making SR related to CR instead, with 10+CR being a useful amount and more than that being even more powerful. That means it has a 50% chance of shrugging off a spell from a wizard who doesn't care about piercing SR when it should be a threatening but not terrifying encounter(Party ECL equal to its CR).

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    HalflingPirate

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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    I like the juxtaposition of a demon made to mirror the qualities of a devil. I have to admit, however, that do not understand the worth and purpose of the Living Cable ability, despite it being a nice chaotic rendition of the Dancing Chains ability of the Kyton, especially as it damages the creature itself. It is a nice flavour addition, but gradually dwindling down your own HP and disarming yourself at the same time lacks logic in construction, I feel.
    I like the Maelstrom of Metal ability, but feel like it would make more sense as an extraordinary ability, rather than a supernatural ability.
    The deflection bonus is a nice touch.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    It's rather as if they're always growing more cables: they don't lose any attacks or capabilities when the cables tear out, and they each hold an entire target out of combat by themselves by grappling it and using constrict.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Demonic response to the Chain Devil [Creature]

    On first reading I wasn't sure if Living Cables fully detached from the demon allowing the demon to move off freely. You might want to clarify that more.

    A flavorful ability might be always succeeding on balance checks for walking on wires and not being at any disadvantage for fighting while doing so. Tight-rope walkers of the Abyss...
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