Boobie power! or charisma bonus to bra size conversions

[TheThan]

I hit upon the silly idea this morning that a (female humanoid) character’s charisma bonus is roughly equal to the size of her breasts. The more I thought about this ridiculous notion the more I realized this makes a certain amount of sense. Its particularly true when you consider fantasy art. I understand that charisma is supposed to be more force of personality than comeliness, but many guys (not all of us mind you, but many of us), tend to notice women with big boobs more readily than women without big boobs. case in point

So here is my charisma to cup size conversion chart. Keep in mind that this is done as a bit of fun and really isn’t meant to be serious or offensive at all. I’m keeping this as PG as possible for obvious reasons. Keep in mind this is also pretty basic, as I’m relying heavily on wikipedia for the brassier measurements (US measurements, so you might have to do some converting). Yes I realize that wikipedia is not the most accurate source of information, but it’ll work.

Charisma to cup size conversion
{table=head] Cha bonus| Cup size

+0|

AA

+1|

A

+2|

B

+3|

C

+4|

D

+5|

DD

+6|

F or DDD

+7|

G or DDDD

+8|

H

+9|

I

+10|

J

+11|

K

+12|

L

+13|

M

+14|

N

[/table]


So that’s the quick and dirty (har har), chart. Notice I got down to +14, which is a charisma score of 38-39, which is pretty high up there. But if that’s not enough for some reason, then well you can either extrapolate further or just take into account the character’s force of personality. Anyway in making this chart I learned that there are cup sizes greater than G out there, I’m not sure whether to be amazed or disturbed by that notion.

I also notice that this matches up really well. notice that a character with a D cup has a charisma modifier of +4 (18-19). a charisma bonus of +4 gives you access to max level spells, which is a high enough score for most games.

[pinwiz]

I've found this works just as well when applied to the male reproductive organ.

[Coplantor]

So, at wich point do they need a cart to carry thoe around?

[Flickerdart]

I'd say that the bonus should become a penalty once the size of the breasts exceeds the size of the woman. They would also have a hefty penalty to any sort of acrobatic maneuvers.

[Coplantor]

They would grant DR to all frontal attacks also, since those would put a fleshy barrier between the vital organs and the enemies... a sexy, fleshy barrier.

[The Demented One]

Face. Palm. Meet each other.

[Ravens_cry]

Like FATAL this is.
Such ways lead to the Dark Side of Gaming, young TheThan.
Not want that you do.

[Coplantor]

Face. Palm. Meet each other.

Yes, I know. I actually had a DM who decided worked breast size this way for a femal player... I thought it was irritating.

But this has reached a point of sillyness no one thought of before, therefore, I will have fun with this thread a long as it lasts.

[Nidogg]

Where would the centre of mass be? Unless she filled them with helium....

[Ravens_cry]

[TheThan]

I did do this in sort of a silly and joking manner. I would never hold my players to this. So there’s no need to invoke FATAL here. It looks like Coplantor's got the right idea.

[Greenish]

Where would the centre of mass be? Unless she filled them with helium....

Cheap nonmagical flight!

[The Glyphstone]

This has gotta be violating the forum rules in at least two or three places...

Ah well. *makes popcorn*.

(Personally, I'm agreeing that beyond a certain point, the 'bonuses' should instead be penalties).

[Mongoose87]

Maybe you should make it more fractional, so that sorceresses don't need their familiar to go around with a wagon for them?

Also, what happens to women with charisma penalties?

[pinwiz]

Maybe you should make it more fractional, so that sorceresses don't need their familiar to go around with a wagon for them?

Also, what happens to women with charisma penalties?

one word: concave

[Partysan]

Still, if you are exceeding F it starts to look rather disgusting...

Of course, that again fits the "it's not beauty but force of personality" approach...

[Telonius]

Hold on a second there. After about DDDD, it just starts getting silly, and only effective for a subset of fetishists. I'd suggest that after +7 you'd need to start going to multiple pairs for it to make sense.

(Yes, I am a sick, creepy man).

[Coplantor]

If a boob is severed from the body the woman suffers charisma damage?

[Divide by Zero]

Is there a similar correlation between anal circumference and Constitution?

[Hal]

I'd say that the bonus should become a penalty once the size of the breasts exceeds the size of the woman. They would also have a hefty penalty to any sort of acrobatic maneuvers.

Or at least a penalty to Balance checks.

[Coplantor]

Or at least a penalty to Balance checks.

That would certainly proove disastrous when encountered with a grease spell

[Mongoose87]

Is there a similar correlation between anal circumference and Constitution?

I seem to recall it only being random, with a mod based on your race.

[Androgeus]

Is there a similar correlation between anal circumference and Constitution?

Going down this path would be very fatal...

[Panigg]

I just recently heard of a woman in peru that had size N. Her breasts where so big, she couldn't even get out of bed.

To clarify this, she had a condition where her breasts just kept growing. So no surgery or something.

So yeah. Making it about the size of the knockers doesn't really work too well. Not if you're serious. Works fine for fun tho. ^^

[satorian]

Is there a similar correlation between anal circumference and Constitution?

Do you mean anal circumference or gluteal circumference? or hip measurement?

[Coplantor]

Well, she could cast levitate on the boobs.

[Akal Saris]

Heh...I wish I knew what episode this was...

[kamikasei]

Heh...I wish I knew what episode this was...

Possibly The Drumhead.

I did do this in sort of a silly and joking manner. I would never hold my players to this.

The intent was clear, but it's such an old idea and the OP so straightforward that the humour of the delivery was vastly overshadowed by the utter fail associated with the idea.

[WoodenSword]

OMG! I can't stop laughing

[TheThan]

The intent was clear, but it's such an old idea and the OP so straightforward that the humour of the delivery was vastly overshadowed by the utter fail associated with the idea.

Well sorry I didn't make you laugh, I guess I can't please everyone. I'm a rather straight forward guy, my posts tend to reflect that i guess.