Good sayings for a Wizard

[Gorbash]

Inspired by the topic of the similar name for Paladins, where I found tons of awesome quotes to use for my Paladin, I'm opening this one for Wizards. Because the above-mentioned derailed into discussion about morality, evil/good etc, I'd ask you from refraining discussing the omnipotence of wizards, suckiness of monks and any combination of those two and foucs just on quotes please.

So, to start of with a few I gathered:

"Mastery is achieved when telling time becomes telling time what to do."

"Your deeds cannot be undone. You, however, can be. <casts Disintegrate>"

"Sorcery? Bah. Anyone can pick up a brush and paint, call themselves an artist even. But only through years of dedication and study can you create a true masterpiece. A sorcerer is like a child with paints, barely understanding what they are doing. I have mastered the art.”

[Drakevarg]

"...also, I can kill you with my brain."

For a Wizard with a cat familiar;

"Don't make me angry. You see, when I get angry, Mr. Tibbles gets scared. And when Mr. Tibbles gets scared... people die!"

[JohnnyCancer]

Marvel Comic's Dr. Strange has a bunch of mystic expressions he frequently uses. You could probably find them listed online.

[Gauntlet]

Plenty of stuff from Magic: The Gathering. An example, from 'Last Word' (a counterspell):

Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

[PId6]

"Mastery is achieved when telling time becomes telling time what to do."

Well, if we're going with MTG quotes...

"Masters of the arcane savor a delicious irony. Their study of deep and complex arcana leads to such a simple end: the ability to say merely yes or no."

[Telonius]

"Time is my ally. When I am eighty, I will shape reality itself to my will. And you? You will barely be able to lift that sword."

[Fayd]

Had to.

Spoiler

Show

[Flickerdart]

"I prepared Explosive Runes this morning."

[Avilan the Grey]

A good start...

Ah, nostalgia...

[Ravens_cry]

"Behold your fate creatures of darkness!
Your demise is at hand, for I wield arcane power beyond your feeble goblin reasoning! The forces of the very cosmos are mine to command, and yet still you cannot comprehend the dark dismal end in store for you and your wicked compatriots. Nay! Your little brains can only leave you gasping in horror as I bend reality to my very will! The magic I wield is capable of rending asunder the universe-nay, the whole of the multiverse, and in fact is wasted on such pitiful creatures as yourself. But I shall bring it to bear nonetheless, and you shall rue the day I chose to wreck such unimaginable havoc on your lives with the sheer power of my arcane works. . .etc."
Can also double as a sleep spell.

[Avilan the Grey]

"BUUUUUUUuuuuuuurnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[CoffeeIncluded]

"Sure, I may be squishy. Sure, I can't use a 20-pound hunk of metal as a weapon like you can. But what I lack in brawn, I more than make up for in brain.

You can cut down a tree with a few-well placed swings. I can rewrite reality with a few words and hand gestures. And I don't even need that if I use metamagic.

So let me put it this way: If you lay one finger on me, or my property, or anybody I care about..."

*Uses Stone Shape to make a figure that resembles the person the wizard is talking to*
*Casts Delayed Blast Fireball*
*Casts Disintegrate*
*Casts Meteor Swarm*
*Delayed Blast Fireball Explodes*
*Charred bit of the sculpture bounces and comes to rest at the person's feet for emphasis*

"And that's if I'm in a good mood. Got it?"

[The Shadowmind]

"So you trained for ages toughening your body? And fought strong beasts?Well, here are some pretty colors to stare at while I slit your throat."

[AtopTheMountain]

"Your deeds cannot be undone. You, however, can be. <casts Disintegrate>"

Also works for a Paladin, if you replace <casts Disintegrate> with <draws longsword>.

[Eldariel]

"Your deeds cannot be undone. You, however, can be. <casts Disintegrate>"

I prefer "Your deeds cannot be undone...*chuckle*...actually, I lied. It's easy, really. <casts WhateverSpellUndoesTheDeedTeleportThroughTimeIfNec essary>"


Hm:
"Stand in my way, will you? Realize that the last one who tried is now my most loyal servant in hell." - and let it sink that he's going to die and he's going to thank you for it and serve you for the rest of eternity as a devil.

"Do you really think you are prepared to face a millennium of preparation?"

"Once I'm through with you, all memory of you will be erased from existence. You will perish, and nobody will mourn."

"It may be wise to instead go vex somebody whose thoughts don't contain more might than your entire being."

[Demons_eye]

"This tale is the truest tale of all! Once upon a time there was a puny samurai warrior, AND THE WIZARDS DESTROYED HIM!

The End"


From the panther but wizards could use it too:

Assassin: I have trained my entire life to face you!
Panther: Then you have already lost. I have trained my entire life to face the unexpected

[Frozen_Feet]

"You shall not pass!"

"When in doubt, kill it with fire."

"What? Never heard of Searing Spell, have you?"

Anything in this song.

[Private-Prinny]

Anything will work as long as it sends 3 basic messages.

1. I'm smart. Much smarter than you.
2. I'm powerful. Much more powerful than you.
3. I'm not afraid to show you just how true statements 1 and 2 are.

[World Eater]

"Where did I leave my shotgun again?"

[Kurald Galain]

"BUUUUUUUuuuuuuurnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire.


And of course the classic, "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for *poof* RIBBIT!"

[PId6]

"Magic must defeat magic!"

"One mooore thing...!"

[Fayd]

"When life gives you lemons, make hot chocolate."

"I am <name>. My will be done."

[JohnnyCancer]

Baldur's Gate has some memorable lines from the lips of casters:

I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled! Understand this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools!
-Irenicus

Tedious monkey work.
-Edwin

[Doc Roc]

I had a time-traveling wizard build who would go back in time and become the father of any of his opponents. Naturally, this led to:

"....I am your father."

[Loxagn]

Whenever casting an elemental spell, always use puns. Always.

"Let me get this straight. I have the capability to undo all of creation with a flick of my wrist and a few nonsense words. You have a pointy stick. And you want to challenge me to a fight?"

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

"May I tell you a story?" <casts Finger of Death> "Once upon a time, you died. Then I lived happily ever after."

"I am so unbelievably angry right now, that killing you? Just isn't enough anymore. So here's what I'm going to do. First, I'm going to kill you. Then, I'm going to animate your corpse into something completely horrible. After that, I'm going to Plane Shift over to wherever your soul has gone, and I'm going to make your body kill your soul. And when that's done with, I'm going to annihilate the undead until nothing is left but a pile of ash. Then I am going to defecate on the ashes, and then open a portal to the plane of elemental Fire, and dump whatever's left into it. Are there any questions before I begin to show you how incredibly wrong you were to trifle with me?"

[Drakevarg]

After that, I'm going to Plane Shift over to wherever your soul has gone, and I'm going to make your body kill your soul.

I'm not sure if souls work that way, but if the guy you're taunting pisses themselves and runs I guess it doesn't really matter.

[Loxagn]

I'm not sure if souls work that way, but if the guy you're taunting pisses themselves and runs I guess it doesn't really matter.

You're a Wizard. Make souls work that way.

[Divide by Zero]

"Your deeds cannot be undone. You, however, can be. <casts Disintegrate>"

Replace that with unname from ToM for more lulz, since then you're literally retconning them out of existence.

[Private-Prinny]

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

I use this one a lot.

[KnightOfV]

An original I came up with on the spot for my low level scholarly illusionist.

"Why yes, wizards are all taught to be needlessly vague and confusing. I once had a class on magical theory where the final essay topic was: 'Explain'."