Behind Every Monster Is a Person in a Cute Costume: Let's Play Moemon Leafgreen!

[Shades of Gray]

She needs Machamp. "I'mma punch you with my hair"

[HypoSoc]

What makes you think it didn't choose? You're making a lot of assumptions there.

I don't assume, I just believe it wrong to assume otherwise. Innocent until proven guilty.

[Deme]

I don't assume, I just believe it wrong to assume otherwise. Innocent until proven guilty.

Point, point...

Urrgg.... I have the update written, but I haven't had time to go and insert the screenshots into the update itself. I will probably do that tommorow or tonight.

In the meanwhile, we can start voting for pokemon! The two routes Seed visits this chapter only contain 2 pokemon she hasn't gotten: a spearow and a voltorb. Since those are the only two, voting for those won't be needed unless I really want a spare. This being said... I'm, as always, taking suggestions for nicknames, what to do with them, and general ideas. So let's start that now!

[Mando Knight]

Spearow: Phoebe's self-proclaimed Rival. For a name, I'd go with... Tanith.

Voltorb: Likes round things. Name? ...Marumari?

[Mystic Muse]

looking forward to the update!

I enjoy the various Moemon personalities. Kinda wondering about that parasect.

[Deme]

I enjoy the various Moemon personalities. Kinda wondering about that parasect.

...Yeah, everyone is. I think somewhere along the lines, the priorities of this LP became the following, from order of least importance to greatest.
3. Actual gameplay
2. A young woman's quest to uncover the nature of her world, search for justice, and fulfill a wish and see if such a thing is possible to begin with (IE, the actual core narrative)
1. Moemon soap opera.

This isn't a bad thing, mind you. I'm just paying attention.

[Deme]

Update double post!

Chapter 26: Aides and Azula and Aerial Aces

Spoiler

Show

"Oh, hi. Checking up on me?"

"He's really been planning ahead, hasn't he?"

"You mean... the metal detector?"
Aide: "Well, it detects more than metal..."
"Ok then."

"Yes."
But only after that last training session…

"Awesome! Tell him thanks." I pause. "By the way... how's he doing?"
Aide: "He's doing well. Hearing about you kids' progress... it's brough the life back in him. He's a lot more focused. It's like he cares about the world around him again."
"That's great!"
I wonder, then... If why he stopped training... had something to do with his dream, the dream he's left us to fulfill?
Maybe one day he realized he was too old to fulfill his dream... So he just gave up.
... I'll try my best to help you, Professor.

"Oh, wow. That's pretty neat."

I remember Terra's comments on the Pokedex.
"So it's still not his best work."
Aide: "No."

"Ok, I'll work on that. Send my thanks."

Anyway, I need to head to the Rock Tunnel.


"Thank you."
"It I satisfying to create new decomposable remnants. I will save them for feeding my arm – I mean, my ailing grandmother. That is something you meat-beings have, yes? Ailing grandmothers?... Well, it doesn’t matter."
…I’m watching you.


...What?
I've clearly been not battling others enough; it's all gone back to being wierd.


"Aaah, what excellent exercise these offer!"
Well, at least someone's back in the fighting groove.

Or not. Azula being asleep isn't good...
"Azula!"
"hmm...wha? Oh, the insolence!"
She wakes up and sends a fireball at it.


So, she spent time catching 4 pokemon...and made them the same. Ow.

"Ok, I need you to explain your crazy moon-logic here. Did I say anything about my pokemon not beating yours? I think not."
But she had decided to stick to her crazy moon argument. I didn't deceive her! What did I do that was deceptive?


Aerial Ace? That sounds like an interesting move.

For a flying-type move with a flying-type name, I notice it belongs to my land-dwellers.
"For now, Mistress..."
”HMPH. PROMISES.”
”Promises I have every intention of fulfilling.”
“…Guys, no fighting yourselves. Save it for the others.”


"Well, I'm glad I could help you with your boredom problem."


It's been a while since we fought one of those. I'd like to think we've both grown since then.

Well, at least FISTICUFFS has.

You know, I suspect a man this fiercely Canadian is probably American. That's Bandit Keith logic, anyway.


"...Wait, are you hitting on my pokemon?"
Camper: "What?"
"Because that is several different types of wrong."
Camper: "No, no, ew! I was hitting on you!"
"...Oh, that's it. You're going down, buddy."



You know, Charmanders are much cuter without Azula's stern glare.


"Yeah, creep."

”Hey, Azula… Are you… happy?”
”I’m very satisfied. I have more power than ever. I’m useful.”
I listened carefully.
”But, I mean… even though that Charmander belonged to a worse trainer, it seemed… a lot more happy. That’s all.”
”…”
”I bet everyone would like you better if you just smiled more!”
”I’m fine with her when she’s not trying to be empress of the world, bossing us around.”
”…Mistress?”
Wait, why am I getting pulled into this?
“Guys, let her be. If we get on someone for being stoic, then I don’t think we could stop for a while.”
”Thank you, Mistress.”
”Sorry … I just wanted to help…”
“I know you did.”
While I kinda agree: Azula could be more open… but… I kind of wonder what she would have done or said if I had agreed with Rya out-loud.


That really shouldn't take very long if you've only got a few (and I know you have), and practice a reasonable amount each day...

Well, at least they're not currently cocoons.

That always makes Azula smile, say whatever you like about her happiness level. I guess they can feel a level-up -- I only know because I watch my pokedex while they fight.


I guess maybe he meant 'since they were cocoons.' That would make sense, right?


"Don't you say that! Just because I beat your pokemon doesn't make the effort you put into them worthless!"
I walk away fast, shoulders tensed. Time you think is important… is important.


Stuff in the rock!



...How super is that?

Now that is Super!

Next up was an ordinary Weedle. And then...

Oh, that's a new one. But a bug's a bug.

Oh dear. I mean, I don’t think it’ll make a huge difference… but I know what I’d do here, and I don’t like the possibilities. Azula twitches as I think of the possibility. Sometimes I think they see through me. I keep saying that, but I think that’s the feeling I get.

”Tricks like that…are meaningless to me. To be truly powerful...I cannot be stopped. I will not be stopped...”

But Azula takes it down, poison or no poison.


"Alright." Why the villain laugh?


Neither of his pokemon lasted long in the face of FISTICUFFS!

Oh. That...almost makes sense. OK.
I wasn't really expecting an answer.


Or free stuff. Very cool.


"So am I."

That was not an invitation to fight!



His pokemon are...remarkably nondescript.
He’s just sort of nondescript. What sort of guy is that…uninteresting?



Oh boy. More laughing guys.

And more easily-beaten Geodudes.
"Yaaay, Rya!"


...yeah, more laughing guys.


"Don't be thrilled if I should chuckle like hyenas in a zoo...it's just the gas..."
"...Rya, you know Little Shop of Horrors?"
"The salesman who owned me last liked musicals."
"Wierd..." You learn something new every day. "Did any of the rest of you have --"
"Something with a title like that is rather dark for little Rya, do you not agree, Mistress?"
"Yeah, I was thinking something like that..."
"Hey! I'm not a baby!"
"Of course not, sweetie."
"You joined after me! That makes you the baby!"
"...No it doesn't."


I didn't say anything! Besides, as an older woman, I'd really be matronizing you... Well, I’m not thar much older… Sororizing? That’s not terribly linguistically sound.

Well, this is technically FISTICUFF'S job, but Rya has a new move I'd like to test...

Eh, not bad. Took two hits, but at least it's interesting.

...That's... another one of those things that baffles me. 'obviously talented'?
"You are."
"Yeah, it's starting to get pretty clear to others now."
I hope those two are being supportive, and not implying...I don't know. It's just a wierd thought.

Route 10 has only one new thing in its grass:

Voltorbs.


Wow, these guys are packed pretty densely.

"Isn't that a step backwards?" (and inconsistent with the last guy’s representations of numbers?)
Aide:"Oh, you've already gotten the next reward? That's good."

"That one's not an invention, is it?"
Aide:"No, not exactly. He was working on something big, some sort of item --"
"The Itemfinder? Yeah, it's pretty neat."
Aide: "Well, anyway..."

Aide: "Just as a formality..."

"Yes.” *sigh*

"Yuh-huh."



I think about Mellow. Maybe he knew that sort of thing would happen...
Well, it's a little late now.


I wonder what sort of pokemon she has; I mean, depending on the gym, she should already be strong enough to beat them, based on surrounding level

In a few levels, Misty should be very beatable with that Pikachu! (She’d be beatable now if you weren’t a dunce like me…)


He knocks it out, of course, with a single blow. He's still clearly pumped.
"GRAAAH! BRING IT!"
"Coolit, Spike."
"Wha? …Yeah." He pats the fallen Pikachu on the head. She swoons.

FISTICUFFS looks down at the fallen foe, but doesn't say anything.

"Keep going! You're very close!"
Picnicker: "That's not what Misty says... She says I should stop taking it seriously..."
"Well, then you'll have to show her!"
How odd. That's nothing like how the gymleaders have treated me... Well, except Surge. But I guess the difference is, I've won.

"Something on your mind, FISTICUFFS?"
"EASY."
"...Is that good, or bad?"
She shrugs. I guess she doesn't know herself.

But there's a cave up ahead, and it should supply some challenge.

[Penguinator]

Since Azula can learn (probably Wing Attack) and Fly, I'd say keep Aerial Ace for FISTICUFFS.

...Or, just hang on to it.

[John Cribati]

Wing Attack is the first Flying Type Move Charizard learns naturally.

[Penguinator]

Yeah, I know it usually learns it right after evolving.
I'm just saying Charizard gets better Flying type moves, and Aerial Ace could be used somewhere else for variety.

[Deme]

Well, Aerial Ace aside... it's time for a little short chapter!

Chapter 27: They are maniacs, maniacs on the floor...

Spoiler

Show

Well, I guess it's finally time for me to catch a spearow.

"Ah, there we go! Lila, if you would..."
"O-of course!"
"Wait, you're actually going to catch me?!"
Well, I have a greatball in my hand.
"...Yeah. Is that Ok?"
"OK? I've been waiting for you to catch me for this entire story!"
"...What?"
"I've been following you since Viridian City! I heard you talking to the Mankey! And I knew nothing but that would do for me! All the spearows you saw? Me!"
"Wait, through the mountains and everything?"
"Well, over them. Go on! Catch me!"
This strikes me as being a little wierd. But I want a spearow, right? And she... is my personal stalker. Hooboy.

"At last!"
"...You do know you're going in the box, right?"
"Good enough!"
And with that, Tanith joined the team.


Next up, I want a Voltorb for the dex.

Aah, it sure is nice to meet a pokemon that's not at all mentally disturbed. The world falls into place.
"Hey...that's a pretty pokeball."
"...Excuse me?"
I gesture to Lilah's pokeball.
"It's pretty. Round and pretty and red and white. It's like me."
Well, there goes that idea. I wave the pokeball with my hand, and her head bobbles with it in sync.
I make sure Lila puts her to sleep immediately. I don't want to grass-comb for another voltorb, but I am not watching that go on, like she's hypnotized, for the whole fight.

And from there, catching her is short work.

Why is it that the farther away from home I've gotten, the more deranged this whole thing gets?




I can hear things scurrying, rustling in the darkness. I hear a drip of water, on stone, on sand. I can't see much more than an inch in front of my face. The dark is almost alive. I think, distantly, I hear someone laughing. A little girl. A human child? a pokemon? (Sage?, some small part of me asks, a bit of me that remembers when I believed monsters lived in the dark, a bit of me that wants there to be wishes)
"Mellow, use flash."
"And destroy such darkness?...Well, it's not as if this body can refuse you."

"Hey, Mellow... the other Mellow...is OK, right? You were just kidding before, and sent her back to whereever pokemon come from so you could use the body, right?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because...what would the other option be? What happened?"
She turns her eyes to me; the glasses catch the light she gives off, hiding the dull, empty gaze under a blind sheen. There are scratches and brusies all over her. I've been healing her regularly, but they just keep showing up. I don't think 'new' Mellow can really handle herself very well yet. Or maybe she just doesn't care.
"Your sympathy is very typical amongst soul-driven beings. You are better off not concerning yourself. I have simply taken payment for a simple transaction, entered willingly by both parties. If you are concerned for the state of your tool, rest assured: I do not think having your soul and body used for sustanence hurts all that much. Then again, I am somewhat unaquainted with this flesh concept of pain."
"...You're eating her?"
"...That is an acceptable metaphor. I am absorbing her for nutrient value. Yes."
I stare for a moment. Mellow stares straight ahead. She hasn't said any of this like it bothered her. Like it meant anything to her.
"Wait here."
I leave her in a circle of light and duck away.
"Azula, how much of that was true?"
"Probably all of it. I've heard that offer myself."
"...Offer?"
"What form we take in this world depends on what we are inside. What fate we have, what energies align to us... Parases are those who accept the Mushroom-symbiotes' deals. They sell their futures, their bodies, and their souls for a little more power. Don't pity them, Mistress. They're fools."
"But that's not fair! Don't you want power, Azula?"
"...If I have to share it with something else, it's not mine. I want power for me and you, Mistress, and not for anyone else. They made their bed."
"I've always heard that parases get eaten by their ambition, in the end. Even if they regret it then, even if they've decided they no longer want it... It's too late. The moment they let themselves be tempted to say yes, they're doomed."
I think about Mellow's smile, right before she went. The real Mellow. That thing... is just a parasite. It pulls itself with the laughter I heard in the darkness, sweet and innocent. That smile, that laugh, that innocence... banished to some dark corner?
"But it's not right. I don't care; she shouldn't be eaten and a slave to something...that never cared about her. The strong shouldn't prey on the weak, even if the weak think otherwise.
Azula, is there any way to make this right?"
"Is that your will, Mistress?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Then let me see how I might fulfill it..." She pauses and gives it thought. "It may be possible. But it'd be a complicated working; you'd need to take the parts of her essence that remain still in her, and reconstruct the rest... I do not know if there's a mage in this world who could --"
"I think there is. Not a mage. A scientist." I could hear a calm smile in Terra's voice.
"What?!"
"Sorry for stealing your thunder." That was sarcasm, a little. I think. "But I have heard tell of human scientists, far away, who could work wonders. They brought The Prime back, in new flesh, in a new mantle -- and yet, The Prime."
Azula snorts.
"You believe that drivel?"
"...I believe... that the night I heard it... I saw a figure flying down the cape, and I recognized The Prime in it. It may be no more than a rumor; The Prime is in us all, after all. But I felt with my own heart."
I don't put much stock in religion.
"Guys, these scientists. Where are they?"
"..." Azula makes a noise; I think I've heard it before. It's the noise she makes when she doesn't want to admit she doesn't know something, like a low whine under her breath.
"That's... a question for someone else, Mistress. I am sorry to have failed you."
"It's Ok. It's OK. We have a plan. We'll hang on to Mellow... Until we know the truth."
"As you wish."
"Zzzzz.... Prime... Second... zzzzz...."

I return to the circle of light and advance forward, exploring this cave.

Well, at least free stuff is a welcome sight.


"Um, Ok, I guess..."

...
...
I do not know what I have walked into.
But it is not right.

Not right at all.
I mean, really.
Stop right there.
No. Just...No.

Ah-ah. No. I am not taking this fight seriously. I mean, I don't know whether to laugh or be horrified.
What the hell?
"Hey! You broke the Mistress's Brain!"
Enemy Cubone: "Are you sure that wasn't him?"
"Oops. Sorry..."
"But...really... I guess I still have to beat you, don't I? Ok!


Snerk.

Deeper and deeper we go...

I guess we'll be coming back here later, huh?
The cave mainly has Geodudes and Zubats so far, but I’ve seen a Machop, too, which is pretty cool.


"And a dark cave is conducive to that how?"

Oh dear. One of you guys again. How can something so... almost accurate... be so wrong?

OK, I'm not losing my senses this time.
"Rya, let's go all out; hit her and don't let her hit back!"

Which is, come to that, an accurate summary of what happens.

And Rya levels up!
"Yaaaay! I did good, right, Mistress?"
I nod, hoping not to catch the man's attention. I mean, when a guy in a costume because he thinks it makes him look like a pokemon (though, to be fair... Nah, it's still really wierd) thinks you're crazy, you've gone too far.

"Yeah, the lighting here sucks way too much for drawing in."


...What exactly is a Mankey doing in this cave?
"MOUNTAINOUS. HOME."
"You're from here, too, FISTICUFFS?"
"ALMOST. SIMMILARITIES."
"So what you mean to say is... that it's the sort of place Mankeys come from, and that you really came from somewhere like this?"
"AFFIRMATIVE."
"Do you...miss it? And being around other Mankeys?"
FISTICUFFS' face doesn't move.

"UNSKILLED! UNTAUGHT."
"Yeah, I guess wild pokemon don't get much opportunity to be trained by stronger pokemon...It's a little sad."
"It's how strength is. The strong keep power from the weak."
"But that's not right."
"BAD."



Oh, hey, an Onix.


"Well, we won't be needing this, right?"


"Oh Please, don't go out of your way or anything."

I guess she has gone out of her way...Still, this is a good place for her to train. I should be commending her; it's a rare smart move.

That's actually going to hurt Azula a bit; a rare thing when she's against grass-types.


"...Not really."
But then, she doesn't know what I know...

"Well, Azula, let's get you healed up."

I...had an antidote in there, right?


I had an antidote. I did!
"...I am fine, Mistress. There's no need to be distressed."
Beads of sweat drip down her brow. She hisses between her teeth as the poison jolts through her.
"Don't worry, Azula, really... I have an escape rope..."
I smile.
"And there's a pokemon center just outside. It'll be fine."
[color=red]"...Please, don't think me weak for this concern..." She says, with a little furrow in her brow.
"I won't. I'm sorry for worrying you like this...I should have packed better."
I scoop her up into my arms; in my head, Azula's so much bigger than she is right now. In my head, Azula is looming. She's thin and stressed, like a doll made out of wires.

I walk back, feeling her wince with every step.
"It's OK, Azula. We're almost there..."
She looks up at me with slightly maddened eyes, big and green and wet, almost tear-filled; from the pain or poison, I don't really know...Azula doesn't get hurt very often, really.
"Mistress...Mistress... Please don't throw me away again... Three is a magic number... Third's a charm... I won't... Please, do not..."
I smooth out her hair.


"Yes, very much."
It takes a little longer than normal; or maybe it doesn't, and I just think it does, waiting in the room.

"Whew. That was close; We're lucky to have had an escape rope, right?"
"I apologize...for that outburst. And the trouble; a better Charmeleon would have dodged those spores and not worried you."
"ZuZu, it's OK! Really. I'm not going to toss you away just for getting poisoned."
"...I'm not worried. Really."
"That's not what you were babbling five minutes ago." He adds a falsetto. "'Oh, Mistress, please don't throw me away. I'll be good!'" He laughs.
"Silence! The poison had mind-addling effects! That's all!"
...Azula does worry about that a lot.
Anyway, it's that all the way from there to Cerulean for re-stocking. I'm not running that risk with a weaker pokemon, and I don't have an infinite number of escape ropes.


"..."
My first thought is that it’s sort of cute that that’s the best conversation he can come up with, but he’s trying anyway.
My second is 'Shouldn't that be kept at cons?'
I mean, it gets the costume dirty, and it's one of those context-things...

...Also, it just looks silly in the middle of a cave.

"UNTAUGHT..."
To be fair, you did just throw rocks at her, FISTICUFFS...


...I really want to tell him.
"Don't..."

This guy...in a Clefairy costume...?
*snerk*


"Unlikely! Bring it on!"

That's...considerably tougher than most Geodudes. Well, FISTICUFFS should be able to take her.

Yeah, there we go.

"Thank you."


"Alright!"

OOh, time for switch-out. Let's hope that free shot isn't really good...


Ah, hardly worth accounting for!

"Yes!"

FISTICUFFS' blow comes a little slower than normal. Is something wrong?

I quietly excuse myself after the battle.

"FISTICUFFS, a penny for your thoughts?"
"TEACHING."
"What about it?"
"NEEDED...DUTY?"
"You think you should teach the other pokemon?"
She nods.
"...I can't tell you what you need to do..."
I frown.
"But...would you need to leave us to do that?"
"UNKNOWN. ALLOWED?"
"I've already said; I won't make you stay."
I pause.
"But...We need you, too, FISTICUFFS."
"CONSIDERING. UNCERTAIN."
"Well...Let me know."

What will FISTICUFF choose? When will the author be less pathetic about getting updates done? Is there a fix for Mellow?

Find out the answers to probably maybe one of these questions next time, on let's play Moemon!

...Also, it's time... for a vote. This cave has a lot of pokemon I've yet to catch. They are...
a) Geodude
b) Zubat
c) Machop
d) Onix
We'll only be doing one, so post what you want you want me to catch, a nickname or personality element you think it would be neat for it to have, and what, if anything, I should do with it in terms of its place in the reserves/on my team.
Please note that, like Terra, it is extremely unlikely that the Machop or the Geodude will ever reach their full evolutionary strength. I mean, this rom is slightly wierd, so it could be possible... but we've yet to see any indication that it is.

[Penguinator]

Cubone is cute, Slowpoke... is creepy.

If you can't get Machamp, get Zubat. Zubat who is constantly taking everything as an insult to bats, and feels the need to speak its superiority.

[Dusk Eclipse]

hmmm can Golbat evolve into crobat in FR/GL??? Because Crobat is one of my favorite pokemon ever, and the happines induced evolution would tie in nicely with the thematic of the LP in my opinion.

If not.... then an Onyx, just cause I like how it looks in moemon mode.

[Mando Knight]

Unfortunately, Gen II+ evolutions are locked out in FRLG until you get the National Dex. However, this being a ROMhack with legendaries running wild behind mystic doors, I wouldn't be surprised if this was changed.

Of course, if it isn't, then this means that none of them can fully evolve. Of the 'mons available, I prefer Onix over the others, though Machoke matches it (which would mean you'd have to evolve the Machop). However, you've already got a pure Fighting type on your team, so an Onix would be better for diversity.

[Solarn]

I vote Machop, because FISTICUFFS needs companionship.

[banthesun]

Just popping in to mention how much I love this LP. I'd just been lurking, but that discussion of Moemon theology was so much foreshadowed awesomeness that I just had to post.

[Geno9999]

I'm going to vote for Onix, just for team diversity. Maybe make her obsessed with diamonds and other rocks.

[Mando Knight]

Characterization ideas:

Onix: Adores long, snakey things. No, "that" is too short. More like her and Rya's hairstyles. Also loves hugging everyone. The latter could be a problem. A name for either an Onix or a Geodude could be Petra. Though that would also work with an Aerodactyl. Also Simone or Simona. Or just Mona.

Machop: Genki girl cute bruiser. Loves to SHOW HER MOVES! Name... Ma-chan, possibly Ku.

Geodude: Stereotypical beach-Californian, dude. Completely changes personality upon evolution. Like, totally, dude.

Zubat: Completely blind and adorable. Upon evolution, becomes obsessed with her newfound sense of sight. And blood. Possibly arrogant. Moka?

Also, any one of them might be aware of the inherent LesYay in this story. And may or may not like it.

[Rae Artemi]

Characterization ideas:

Onix: Adores long, snakey things. No, "that" is too short. More like her and Rya's hairstyles. Also loves hugging everyone. The latter could be a problem. A name for either an Onix or a Geodude could be Petra. Though that would also work with an Aerodactyl. Also Simone or Simona. Or just Mona.

Machop: Genki girl cute bruiser. Loves to SHOW HER MOVES! Name... Ma-chan, possibly Ku.

Geodude: Stereotypical beach-Californian, dude. Completely changes personality upon evolution. Like, totally, dude.

Zubat: Completely blind and adorable. Upon evolution, becomes obsessed with her newfound sense of sight. And blood. Possibly arrogant. Moka?

Also, any one of them might be aware of the inherent LesYay in this story. And may or may not like it.

Stop trying to delay the update. I know your plan. If you get Deme on a good trope binge, we may not see her for days.

Luckily, I have developed an immunity to unwanted trope binges.

[Deme]

To be fair, my last binge was recent enough that I remember most of those links. Yaaaay for addiction!

Heh. Anyway, I think the agreement is either for Machop or Onix, then?

Also, I've been working on trying to strengthen the character among my frontliners, so I'd appreciate hearing if anyone has feelings about how that's going.

[Penguinator]

I'll give in and go Machop.

[Ranielle]

Onix with a twist, for sure.

[Mystic Muse]

I say Onix.

[Rae Artemi]

Geodude :0


Onix

[Solarn]

I'm still saying Machop. FISTICUFFS is alone, people!

[X15lm204]

FISTICUFFS wants a student to teach, but the team can't spare her. Catching a Machop for her to train is the perfect compromise. Besides, the only reason to catch an Onix is to evolve into Steelix, which you can't do, and can anyone really say they aren't tired of the bat and the rock?

[Rae Artemi]

and can anyone really say they aren't tired of the bat and the rock?

Golem and Crobat are awesome though!

Have you ever seen a defense curled Golem use rollout? And Crobat is pretty fast.

But since you probably can't get a golem, and we already have a flyer, I'm still voting for Onyx, 'cause I've always had a soft spot for those guys... girls now, I guess.

[Mystic Muse]

can anyone really say they aren't tired of the bat and the rock?

no but I dislike machops more

it goes
1. Onix
2. Machop
3. Geodude
4. Zubat.

[Deme]

Chapter 28: It's like, a geo, dude...

Spoiler

Show

Ok, time to catch me some pokemon! I was thinking...that given how many Onix we've seen, I'd like to see if I couldn't do better.

Ah, there's one! "Get it, Lila!"
"...Hmph. An unfortunate structure."
"E-excuse me?"
"I'm tunelling the world looking at different subterranean structures. This one is inferior. It barely has any random glowing crystals, a sub-par number of secret swords, and an unfortunate lack of plot-critical villains. Very shoddy."
"I...I...see..."
"Is it really alright to be discussing my hobby? I assume you're out to subdue me, and you wouldn't want to keep your young lady waiting."
"Umm..you don't mind?"
"One does what one must. In my course as a gentlewoman spelunker, I've often considered the advantages of a roaming trainer; I'll fight you, of course... But my true loves are mysterious darkened caves, and they always will be."
Caves, plural?
Lila mimics my question, drawn in by this.
"The caves and I have a polyadventurous relationship. I can adventure in as many caves as I'd like."
Lila laughs nervously.
"You know, you could come with us. I actually sent Lila out to capture you, not beat you."
"...Wha -- hey!"
"Yes, yes..."
I do my standard recap and offer a deal: come with us for not very strenous work, lots of protection, and wandering through any caves I come across.
"Sounds fine to me, I suppose."
"Got a name you like?"
"I'm Jewel, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER, to my friends."
"...That won't fit in the arbitrarily-small namebox."
"Very well, Jewel will do."



Yeah, I've noticed.

Kind of monotonous, eh? I wonder why everyone does it like that.

FISTICUFFS fights in silence, lost in her own concerns.

But in that contemplative silence, she gains a lot of strength.

When she was off, I think I felt that silence in everyone else... Or maybe I was just imagining it.

That's what you get for having just two types of Pokemon.

No, it wasn't silence... just the low whispers, like the voices in the dark.
"...THOUGHTS?
"It's an interesting dillemna. A pair of duties, seemingly against each other..."
"ALLOWED."
"Hmm, yes... But just because she'll let you doesn't mean she wants you to."
"Success can only be found through power; power depends on a trainer with wisdom. A world where this wasn't so would be a world for a desire like yours."
"SUccess is made by choices; that's what the power for magic comes from. As long as she stands firm in her choice... then her power is as certain as her heart, I believe."
"But philosophy doesn't help FISTI! That's what we want to do, right?"
"..."
"FISTICUFFS, I gotta say... You'd be a hell of a teacher. I think you're my only equal here, for strength... So I can't tell you what to do, right?"
"Why can't she do both, though? Teach the pokemon we meet?"
"ALLOWED?"
"It would counter-mind our efforts!"
"...Doesn't that depend on what our efforts really are?"

"MA'AM."
I sighed in relief as her voice picked up well enough for me to hear.
"...Yeah, FISTICUFFS? Have you decided what you want?"
"BOTH?"
"You want to...teach the pokemon we fight?"
"...YES."
"What happens if you get distracted from fighting? Or they learn too well and hurt you? What'd stop that?"
"YOU?"
I looked at her face. It doesn't change much; she speaks and her mouth barely moves, her brow furrowed constantly, her eyes narrowed, her mouth a grim slash... but, looking at her, I could also see... that her eyes had an earnestness that wasn't always there.
I consider asking her what would happen if I said no -- is this the only condition on which she'll stay? Or would she stay anyway, but be unhappy?
But the words can't form themselves.
...Would it change what I'm about to say yes?
"...Yeah. I guess that's my job, isn't it? I mean, it's been pretty easy so far... but I have to keep you doing your best towards my -- your -- our goals."
"THEN?"
"Yeah, FISTICUFFS. Let's give it a try, if that's what you really want. I'll make sure the risk level is...acceptable."

She bounces, just once, a grim parody of a schoolgirl. The jump takes her up and catches her off of the glow of Mellow...

And brings her down new, and ready for the challenge.
"THANK YOU, MA'AM!"
She salutes me.

Everyone:
"Was that... a complete sentence?"
"I MUST BE PREPARED FOR THE REAL CHALLENGE!"
...Yeah, this has just gotten weird again. How exactly does evolving unlock the ability for 2+ word sentences?



"The ladder leading towards getting out is only a couple feet behind you."
But no guided tour this time; that's only for annoying younger girls, not older men, OK?

Because the correct response to directions is a fight. Of course.

Please tell me your next pokemon is not...

Yup, it's an Onix. I wonder what suprise is next: is it an Onix? Because that would come as a shock!

I only give the Geodude a half-point there. Just on the grounds that it's not an Onix.

"You challenged me to a random fight against all your somewhat monotonous pokemon! That's what you're doing!"

"Oh...it's back that way, just follow the rock wall."
Don't fight me again this time, ok?

"Yeah, me too."
It's like some randomly broken bridge, or something.


This is odd. This object actually has a function in the area in which it is located.
This defies the rules of this trip.


Excuse me? How am I an 'outsider' relative to you?
"Do you live in this cave?"
Hiker: "Yeah, that's right."
Well, I'll be darned.

I swear, if I see another Geodude...
"Mistress! It's Ok! Please don't be mad!"

"There! Isn't that better?"
...Actually, yeah, it kind of is.
"Go get her, Rya!"
"Yaaay! Much better!"


...What does talent have to do with hiking?

Anyway, I take the opportunity to walk back and do some healing.


Keep your wits about you and follow local guiding points?

"...but there...are no twigs...in here!"

I guess that explains it, then: she's lost. It's rare to see someone with a non-local pokemon. She must think she's at Mt. Moon.
"Finally! Some action!"
Yeah, I guess it wasn't a bit of a waste to bring ChuChu along after I went back.
"Start with a thunderwave, then hit her hard!"
"Gotcha!"

Still, it's a slower fight than I'd like; but ChuChu's been lagging behind for a little while, poor dear...

She takes some damage, even, which I do not like at all.

But the victory is sweet.

Oh-ho-ho...
"YES! Perfecto!"

"...What?"
I guess she really has fallen behind...

Well, time to switch gears, I think. FISTICUFFS' turn!

"CHANGE YOUR STANCE. THAT IS WEAK!"
Foe Meowth: "What?"
"REMEMBER IT FOR FUTURE FIGHTS; BRING YOUR HANDS TO PROTECT VULNERABILITIES. OTHERWISE..."

"AN ENEMY CAN DO THAT TO YOU."

Little hands-on, huh, FISTICUFFS?
Foe Meowth: "I'll be...sure to... remember that..."


"Almost certainly."

*twitch*

Still, a level's ok, even if it means more Geodudes...

"A LESSON FOR YOU. I WILL GIVE YOU A FREE MOVE."
Foe Geodude: "...Really?"
"REALLY. LET ME SEE. I WILL USE A WEAK STRIKE. SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!"

"DO NOT STRIKE WITH A MOVE THAT YOU ARE NOT CERTAIN CAN TAKE DOWN YOUR ENEMY! IF IT IS ALL YOU HAVE... YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO LEARN BETTER!"
"FISTICUFFS, I think it's time to finish this, OK?"
"MA'AM, YES MA'AM! A PRACTICAL EXAMPLE!"

"GOOD LUCK."

I smell another pattern...
"YOU HAVE HEARD THE LAST MATCH. DO BETTER!"

"TOO SLOW."

Yeah... FISTICUFFS' putting forth a lot of strength for this.

...Ooh, that's annoying.
"...Ooh, one of these days the world will do him a lot of harm."


Awesome! I'm moving up in the world of finding stuff on the ground!


Not until you made me think of it, no.

Little over-reacting.

Yeah, sure, I guess...

Hm. it looks like an improvement over Rock Tomb, so that works out pretty well, I think.

..Yeah, I think I see your point.


What, for new costume ideas?

"Don't give up, ChuChu!"

"Yeah, that's the spirit!"

Maybe I'll be able to find a better technique later on... I mean, I could use the Shockwave TM, but we're getting near to Celadon...

"No! Absolutely not! This is FOR SCIENCE!"


"What?"

Again with the shameless accusations!


Finally, some variety!
"BE UNEXPECTED AND FAST! BEFORE A FOE CAN HIT YOU!"
I wonder how much of her lessons are really just beating pokemon up, but with more words?

"IMPROVE SPEED!"
...I'm guessing a lot.


The population density of random caves is weird: long stretches of no one, and then long stretches of everyone. What's with that?

"Yaay! I did it!"


"VERY GOOD. NOW, TRY AND BRACE YOURSELF."
Rattata: "What?"
Maybe FISTICUFFS should tell these guys that they're being taught...
She hurls the Rattata into the air and sends it slamming.
"GOOD. NOW, AGAIN: I WILL NOT HOLD BACK."
The Rattata buckled down and braced.

"TOO MUCH BRACING. NOT ENOUGH FIGHT. NEXT?"

"DO BETTER!"
FISTICUFFS nodded, as if satisfied.
...Yeah, I don't get it, either.



"Yup!"

"Listening to FISTICUFFS ...Is oddly enheartening."
"I'm glad you're learning from your teammates." I mean, some of the relationships work better than others.
"I don't like having to be taught... But it's at least useful."
"YOU'RE WELCOME."


...What on earth is a pearl doing in a cave?
"Time is full of mysteries. Perhaps this was an island once, a mountain partially submerged beneath the sea... How lovely... an island in the sun...zZZz…"
I smile and shake my head.


They don't seem much better here than elsewhere in the cave, though...

I wonder where her lessons went, but I can't ask in front of the Picnicker.
As if she knew, she looks over her shoulder and adds,
"ON BREAK."

Ah, all is as right in the world as it can be...which, you know, isn't much, but hey.


Me?...Cute?
...Hey, was she just trying to fight me because she thought I wouldn't be able to put up a fight?


Oh, thank goodness. The cave of geodudes is over!


I guess is does take talent to hike.


Given that ChuChu's not really been her best... I admit, I'm a mite worried.

"Ha-ha! It's what you get!"


...Then why bring me into it?


Hey, laughing man.

I thought I was done with these for a while!

Still, I beat Laughing man.

"Oops. My bad."


I'm mainly just happy it's not a dank, pokemon-lit cavern.


What we see here is a prime example of too much information. It's increasingly common to see in the wild.


Not a kid. I don't know why you all keep saying that.

Seen it.

And seen it. Your collection is not worth calling me a kid over.


Yaaay! I guess I don't need to spend money after all! Huzzah!

Sore loser much? I don’t like people who call me kid, so I guess that makes us even.

And into Lavender town we go.

Fun fact: I originally intended FISTICUFFS to have the verbal tic we'll be seeing her with from now on... How she ended up with the one she's had thusfar...I dunno. It just sort of happened. Both of them come from RPG characters, specifically ones from Playstation RPGs; can you guess which ones?

Also...I'll be updating the cast list. I'm considering moving Lila and Mellow and Jasmine into a catagory, but I wouldn't know what to call it. Ideas?

[Mando Knight]

Also...I'll be updating the cast list. I'm considering moving Lila and Mellow and Jasmine into a catagory, but I wouldn't know what to call it. Ideas?

Support. That's what they're there for, anyway.