Silly places to make PCs go... First Time DM Help!

[gallagher]

hello playground:

i am preparing a campaign for my first time DMing. i am taking all summer to make the world, but that is why i need help now, as the basic tenants of the game i need help with.

the map is based off of the North American Continent plus greenland: USA, Canada, Greenland, and the Yucatan Peninsula.

here is the ins and outs of the campaign that i feel will be useful.

they are starting at level 4, and are slightly homebrewing their classes. they are taking a class that exists and changing it to make it either better or at least more unique. for instance, one guy is mixing the monk and the dervish, so that he takes benefit from the high footspeed and alot of hits as a full round action, and is basing the class off of freerunners like from the game Mirrors Edge.

the world itself is effectively run by a league of crazy paladins that are incredibly anti-arcane magic. therefor, one member of the party is going to have to be arcane, and the party will be constantly tracked by a two-man team of a rogue and barbarian-esque team.

they are being hired by a group of arcanists who are not only high enough level to stay hidden, but also have the knowledge of the whereabouts of one of 5 ancient and since lost temples with altars that will help restore magic.

the requirement for these temples is that they will be taken through the silly, the weird, and the illogical. the first place they go will be a place that speaks entirely in rhyme, and they cant understand you if you dont at least speak in slant-rhyme. they will be led by a piper through a sewer, where they will fight their way into the ancient temple. in this temple, they will fight the piper, who buffs his two bard teammates, one which is the one who casts sorc spells, and the other a dual-whip weilder. i will have to rework the whole TWF'ing thing so it is sensible. the reward for this will be that they get a cool bard-buff played permanently on their weapons.

anyway, what are the other places that i should take them through? i think i should take them through places with themes, where the first theme was bards, and one of the themes will be clerics, and take them through a hell full of undead, demons, and the suchlike. i was thinking making it the tomb of horrors-like. the reward for that one that to make their weapons also vampiric. what else should i take them through, and what rewards will i give them?

[Greenish]

Hmm, Greenland is part of Denmark. Therefore, one of the temples is littered all through with Danish flags (they put them everywhere IRL, too), has sandwich (monsters?) with the bread barely visible beneath the toppings, and all the humanoids in the temple speak a language vaguely similar to dwarfish, yet impossible to understand even if you do speak dwarfish.

[WarKitty]

Golem land. Including a bunch of incredibly improbable animated objects. Reward some sort of armor buff.

Maybe some form of giant land where they find themselves as livestock? Not sure the reward there.

Elemental lands, reward DR versus that element.

[gallagher]

i was hoping to maybe do a level where they fight warlocks, too. and also, for those munchkin players, one where they have to pick out a duck in a group of ducks, because you never pick up a duck in a dungeon

[WarKitty]

i was hoping to maybe do a level where they fight warlocks, too. and also, for those munchkin players, one where they have to pick out a duck in a group of ducks, because you never pick up a duck in a dungeon

Best way on this would be to go all stereotypical on the magic users. Your warlocks all have warts and crooked noses, wear dirty old robes and go around muttering to themselves.

[Volthawk]

A place where all animals are awakened.

[Edwin]

Hmm, Greenland is part of Denmark. Therefore, one of the temples is littered all through with Danish flags (they put them everywhere IRL, too), has sandwich (monsters?) with the bread barely visible beneath the toppings, and all the humanoids in the temple speak a language vaguely similar to dwarfish, yet impossible to understand even if you do speak dwarfish.

Being danish, I am wildly offended by this.

Anyway, on topic: Throw in a brain-in-a-jar somwhere.

You can never go wrong with a brain-in-a-jar.

No, never. Not even then.

[Greenish]

A place where all animals are awakened.

And humanoids mind-fogged.

[Edit]:

Being danish, I am wildly offended by this.

Ha, that's the first country offended. Conan O'Brien will be so proud.

[Pluto]

Winnipeg. Definitely Winnipeg.

[Anonymouswizard]

Two ideas: the periodic table. They have to go through all the rooms of the place (laid out exactly like the periodic table) to find the sample of every single element. When they are all found, the are placed in the final room (accessible from hydrogen and helium) they form the altar. When they are finished they get an item with 118 parts, when brought together they form a special pen that eliminates material cost for creating scrolls.

And the fifth altar has been moved from it's original place by the paladins. Along with anything else that can help restore magic in the vicinity.

[Volthawk]

Two ideas: the periodic table. They have to go through all the rooms of the place (laid out exactly like the periodic table) to find the sample of every single element. When they are all found, the are placed in the final room (accessible from hydrogen and helium) they form the altar. When they are finished they get an item with 118 parts, when brought together they form a special pen that eliminates material cost for creating scrolls.

Using this, perhaps?

[gallagher]

Using this, perhaps?

i will definitely use this! it sounds... fantastic! if it is a team of four or five, about what levels should i have them go through this one? i can assume one arcanist, one divine caster, one fighty mcfighter, and one skillmonkey that deals subdual damage

[gallagher]

and i will not have the paladins have moved one of these. they only know of one, the most powerful one, which is what helps them track magic by having their god have placed his power into it to amplify the spell. it is effectively detect magic, that detects magic as it is cast.

and what should some rewards be? i want them to, once they get into the chamber room with the altar, be "seperated" by (in their mind, this takes place in the brain, but its effects are oh so real) to have to sacrifice something to gain something.

for instance, if the skillmonkey sacrifices his legs, as they are tied up and he cant pick the lock, and to avoid death cuts off his feet, he will get a +4 untyped bonus to dexterity. if at one point the fighter gives up his weapon, he gains a new one, exactly the same, but adamantium and with an extra +1 or so bonus.

and for the chemical place, i could also give them a riddle, where they have to ingest one of like 20 potions, and of course everything has a time limit on it. if they choose the right one and drink it, they get a +2 con, immune to poison, and to not need to eat or drink anymore.

[Incorrect]

Hmm, Greenland is part of Denmark. Therefore, one of the temples is littered all through with Danish flags (they put them everywhere IRL, too), has sandwich (monsters?) with the bread barely visible beneath the toppings, and all the humanoids in the temple speak a language vaguely similar to dwarfish, yet impossible to understand even if you do speak dwarfish.

Being danish, I wholeheartedly approve of this

[Kaiser Omnik]

Winnipeg. Definitely Winnipeg.

Isn't that like the 8th layer of Hell?

Kidding, kidding.

[OracleofWuffing]

and for the chemical place, i could also give them a riddle, where they have to ingest one of like 20 potions, and of course everything has a time limit on it. if they choose the right one and drink it-

No, the solution should be to choose the right one and drink everything except that one. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Take them to Epcot and stage it as a post-apocolyptic future theme. They get lasers, rocket packs, and little floaty rings around their clothes as the reward. Oh, but they all run on batteries, so everything's basically a consumable.

Mount Rushmore, but the faces are actually four colossal golems that have fused together. Naturally, the quest rewards are hidden up their noses, potentially coated in goo.

Gigantic magic-mart, but the players can't find the exit as long as they're carrying something they purchased/"purchased."

Volcanic island. That is, Volcanic Gingerbread Island.

Mine Cart Minigame.

[Anonymouswizard]

No, the solution should be to choose the right one and drink everything except that one. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

I vote for the solution being to search for the secret door. When they have found it they have found the correct potion.

[gallagher]

No, the solution should be to choose the right one and drink everything except that one. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Take them to Epcot and stage it as a post-apocolyptic future theme. They get lasers, rocket packs, and little floaty rings around their clothes as the reward. Oh, but they all run on batteries, so everything's basically a consumable.

Mount Rushmore, but the faces are actually four colossal golems that have fused together. Naturally, the quest rewards are hidden up their noses, potentially coated in goo.

Gigantic magic-mart, but the players can't find the exit as long as they're carrying something they purchased/"purchased."

Volcanic island. That is, Volcanic Gingerbread Island.

Mine Cart Minigame.

i almost fell out of my chair at the mount rushmore idea. quite quite hilarious indeed. that could be the golem-world that i was looking for, littered with other golems on the way there. they have to kill the golems to get inside abe lincolns nose, which is conveniently where the temple is located.

[Greenish]

i almost fell out of my chair at the mount rushmore idea. quite quite hilarious indeed. that could be the golem-world that i was looking for, littered with other golems on the way there. they have to kill the golems to get inside abe lincolns nose, which is conveniently where the temple is located.

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[gallagher]

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...oh...my...god...

oh, and i decided that one of my dungeons is going to be based entirely off of the game of Munchkin, so i can put the duck in a dungeon there. also necessaries are: Stoned Golem, the Floating Nose (along with the shadow nose) Katrina. the temple will be guarden by the Plutonium Dragon, which is protecting the place due to an ancient pact, as well as the fact that the altar is incredibly valuable (not in GP, but in its power and rarity). every door that is trapped is not dealing ability damage, but some of them will give you tiny hands, or make you necrophobic, or a sex change curse! mwahahahahahaha

[gallagher]

for a world entirely of anthropomorphic animals, what if they were all druids that turned into humans, elves, dwarves, and orcs? or even funnier, GNOMES

also, i was thinking having one world be like a 1950s "perfect society" except that it is swelteringly hot. they have to take off their armor and move down to a light load, and then go to a malt shop...

WHERE THEY ARE ATTACKED BY CANDY, ICECREAM, MALT AND SODA GOLEMS!!!!

are there stats for these kinds of golems?

[OracleofWuffing]

are there stats for these kinds of golems?

There exist stats for a Calzone Golem, while the food is different, that might be a good jumping off point.