A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #1291
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    GreataxeFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    I'm still here. This story is better then some published novels I know.

  2. - Top - End - #1292
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    OMG, I got kissed by Lix!
    *loses head in pink clouds*
    "Ceterum censeo mediomundum esse delendum."
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    I will leave this world like I entered it - screaming and bathed in blood.

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  3. - Top - End - #1293
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Hi. Still reading. *disappears*

  4. - Top - End - #1294
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    Blue Ghost, reporting for duty, sir.

    Blue Ghost, Lawful Good generalist wizard, at your service.
    Love wins. S'agapo.

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  5. - Top - End - #1295
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    In the name of Rick Astley "Never gona give you up" so I'm still lurking.
    “I’m a Terrorist not an idiot.” - Me
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  6. - Top - End - #1296
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NinjaGuy

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    Lurking. (Lurk is such an odd word. Lurk, lurk)
    "Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out. Babylon Control out."

  7. - Top - End - #1297
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    (Lurk. Lurk lurk. yes it's a funny world but kind of little tiny isn't it ?
    Last edited by smuchmuch; 2011-04-25 at 07:58 PM.
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  8. - Top - End - #1298
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Still here- been on holiday and had no internet access! Enjoyed the last chapter...
    Although I feel sullied by Tychris1's mention of Rick Astley...*shudder*

  9. - Top - End - #1299
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    Still here. I have an investment in this.
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  10. - Top - End - #1300
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimlock View Post
    Still here- been on holiday and had no internet access! Enjoyed the last chapter...
    Although I feel sullied by Tychris1's mention of Rick Astley...*shudder*
    Always ready to corrupt your internet experience.
    “I’m a Terrorist not an idiot.” - Me
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  11. - Top - End - #1301
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Heh. I like this. The writing quality only improved as I kept reading.

  12. - Top - End - #1302
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateral View Post
    Heh. I like this. The writing quality only improved as I kept reading.
    Meaning what exactly? That I sucked in the beginning but quickly got better?
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  13. - Top - End - #1303
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lateral's Avatar

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    No. I liked the story and the theme, and I've looked at your webcomic, so I checked it out. It was good at the beginning, and it's gotten better as it's gone on. I have a little problem with the fast pacing that causes a few plot holes, but that's just because it's a whole novels' worth of story compacted into the size of a novella for each arc.
    Last edited by Lateral; 2011-04-26 at 08:03 PM.

  14. - Top - End - #1304
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateral View Post
    No. I liked the story and the theme, and I've looked at your webcomic, so I checked it out. It was good at the beginning, and it's gotten better as it's gone on. I have a little problem with the fast pacing that causes a few plot holes, but that's just because it's a whole novels' worth of story compacted into the size of a novella for each arc.
    Plot holes?! Where?!

    *Grabs wooden boards, nails, and a hammer*
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  15. - Top - End - #1305
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lateral's Avatar

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Not exactly 'plot holes,' just things that didn't quite make sense or that you could have explored further. For instance...

    ...Wait, I think they all filled themselves on reflection. Fridge (even more) brilliance, apparently.

  16. - Top - End - #1306
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    Silverraptor's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lateral View Post
    Not exactly 'plot holes,' just things that didn't quite make sense or that you could have explored further. For instance...

    ...Wait, I think they all filled themselves on reflection. Fridge (even more) brilliance, apparently.
    If you would so kindly, posting here or pm, tell me more about this? I'm quite curious, actually.
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  17. - Top - End - #1307
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lateral's Avatar

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Well, one was about Grim's declarations of... pretty much 'night falls, I win' because his power was stronger at night, but he was able to defeat Mordokai, who had an opposite power and so presumably should have been invincible during the day if Grim was during the night. He should have realized this, since he said he knew he was taking on Mordokai at the height of his power and had still won.

    But now that I think about it, he wasn't exactly rational throughout the whole story, so that may not have occured to him, or it may have been just talking big because he believed that Viola and Kurama weren't a threat when he was at his full power.

    Also, it was strange that only one person had ever unlocked their ultimate technique, and it was supposed to be the hardest and final thing for them to do, and yet Viola and Kurama were both able to unlock it relatively quickly. However, Mordokai is extremely confused about this, so it isn't really a plot hole and more of an unresolved plot point that may result in a redefinition of the entire curriculum.


    Basically, all of the plot holes either go away once examined or are things to take advantage of in the future. As long as you explore the possibilities they open up, I'm perfectly satisfied.
    Last edited by Lateral; 2011-04-26 at 08:39 PM.

  18. - Top - End - #1308
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Silverraptor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Lateral View Post
    Well, one was about Grim's declarations of... pretty much 'night falls, I win' because his power was stronger at night, but he was able to defeat Mordokai, who had an opposite power and so presumably should have been invincible during the day if Grim was during the night. He should have realized this, since he said he knew he was taking on Mordokai at the height of his power and had still won.

    But now that I think about it, he wasn't exactly rational throughout the whole story, so that may not have occured to him, or it may have been just talking big because he believed that Viola and Kurama weren't a threat when he was at his full power.

    Also, it was strange that only one person had ever unlocked their ultimate technique, and it was supposed to be the hardest and final thing for them to do, and yet Viola and Kurama were both able to unlock it relatively quickly. However, Mordokai is extremely confused about this, so it isn't really a plot hole and more of an unresolved plot point that may result in a redefinition of the entire curriculum.


    Basically, all of the plot holes either go away once examined or are things to take advantage of in the future. As long as you explore the possibilities they open up, I'm perfectly satisfied.
    Ah, I see.

    For clarification on why Grim attacked during the day, he was trying to prove he was god mode by attacking Mordokai during the day when Mordokai was at his full power. Also, the power's require time to repair damaged bodies, as they are not instant heals. Its more like having a million construction workers is not going to instantly repair and old, run down abandoned house. Any ideas how to make this more clear?

    And yes, it is an unresolved plot point further down the road.
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  19. - Top - End - #1309
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    No, I'm pretty much clear with the plot. Although I hope we eventually learn about Blue's "affliction." Maybe then I'll have some leverage over him over on les SMBGs...

    Hey, I realize you have a lot of people already on the list for appearances, but could you add me on at the end? I read a lot of fiction, and this is the sort of stuff that you think, "it would be awesome to be part of that." Oh, wait, you can.
    Last edited by Lateral; 2011-04-26 at 09:34 PM.

  20. - Top - End - #1310
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    Silverraptor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Lateral View Post
    No, I'm pretty much clear with the plot. Although I hope we eventually learn about Blue's "affliction." Maybe then I'll have some leverage over him over on les SMBGs...

    Hey, I realize you have a lot of people already on the list for appearances, but could you add me on at the end? I read a lot of fiction, and this is the sort of stuff that you think, "it would be awesome to be part of that." Oh, wait, you can.
    Uh, sure. But do you only want a part at the end?
    My own webcomic. Idiosyncrasy.
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  21. - Top - End - #1311
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Sorry, I meant at the end of the list.
    Last edited by Lateral; 2011-04-26 at 10:13 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #1312
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Lateral View Post
    No, I'm pretty much clear with the plot. Although I hope we eventually learn about Blue's "affliction." Maybe then I'll have some leverage over him over on les SMBGs...
    Et tu, Lateral?
    I don't know why I'm telling you this, but my affliction is...

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    I'm ticklish.


    Though it's probably different in the story.

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  23. - Top - End - #1313
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Eh, I was just kidding about the 'leverage' part.

    ...Ticklish, eh? Iiiinteresting.
    Last edited by Lateral; 2011-04-26 at 10:33 PM.

  24. - Top - End - #1314
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    Paladin Academy: Chapter 2: Part 9
    -Cast-
    Kurama
    Viola
    Rabbit
    Recaiden


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    The early morning sun was halfway up over the horizon. Viola slept softly as the morning rays tickle he face. Only then was she vaguely aware of someone standing over her. She opened her eyes and saw a darkened shape of someone standing over her. He was holding something thin and long in his hand, and had it hovering just above her heart.

    Panic and instinct took over as Viola raised her hand. A huge blast of sound erupted from her palm, causing the intruder to be thrown backwards behind one of the other beds. She instantly tried to sit up, ignoring the pain that appeared in her chest. Quickly looking around, she grabbed a glass vase from the night stand. She then turned, placing a bare foot onto the floor. The flowers fell out of the vase as she raised it in defense.
    "Viola! Its just me!"

    She blinked. Slowly, Kurama stood up from behind the bed. In his hand was a handful of long flowers. Viola lowered the vase slightly.
    "Kurama?"
    She then doubled over as the pain caught up to her. Kurama quickly ran around to try and help steady her. Slowly, she made her way back into the bed, grumbling loudly.
    "Don't...*Do* that...again!"

    Kurama looked extremely nervous.
    "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you like that. Nor did I expect to get blasted across the room."

    Viola glared up at him.
    "Its your own fault. What the heck were you doing up here this early in the morning?"

    Kurama looked down at the flowers in his hand.
    "I was... trying to put these in your hand while you slept, so you would wake up to them."

    Viola looked from them, to the empty vase, to the flowers on the floor.
    "I guess they're a good replacement to these."
    She took hold of them from Kurama and placed them into the empty vase.
    "Just remember to clean up the old ones on your way out."

    Kurama mutters.
    "Yeah sure."
    He looks around for a moment.
    "So, you can step out of bed now, I see."

    Viola looked down at her feet under the blankets.
    "It appears so. This is the first time I was able to do it. All the other times I tried, it just hurt too-"

    "WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!"
    Rabbit had just burst into the room with her crystal in one hand and what looked like one of the suits of armor swords from the hallway in the other. She quickly surveyed the scene of Viola and Kurama.
    "Well?!"

    Kurama shifted uncomfortably.
    "I... accidently startled Viola in her sleep and she hit me with a...shockwave of sound?...
    The last part of his statement was so filled with embarrasment that you could tell Kurama wanted to be anywhere else right now.

    Rabbit dropped her stance, but she didn't relax at all.
    "Do you two have any idea what you just did? You probably woke up half of the academy!"

    Viola joined Kurama in shifting their gazes.
    "S-Sorry."

    Rabbit exhaled heavily.
    "Oh well. They should be getting up anyways. All we need to do is spread the news that everything is alright, and we can forget this happened. By the way, Kurama, you're going to be cleaning this floor's hallways after training."

    Kurama looked up at her alarmed.
    "This entire floor?! How will that allow us to forget this ever happened?!"

    Rabbit smiled at him.
    "I wasn't including you when I said 'we'. Now come on and get ready."

    Kurama held his head low as he slowly made his way up.
    "Uhhh... Don't forget to take the flowers, too."
    He stopped and bent down to get the flowers before turning to leave.
    "Sorry about deafening you."

    Kurama took a backward glance from the doorway.
    "Sorry about scaring you in your sleep."
    He then closed the door behind him, leaving Viola to deal with the fully comprehending the awkward situation a moment ago.

    ***********

    A twig snaps as a cloaked figure walks through the forest. In his hand was an unraveled scroll with the blueprints of the academy. As Recaiden approached the wall, he stopped and turned to walk around it. Finally, he stopped and compared the section of the wall to the blueprints.
    "This is it. Where the secret entrance is."
    Recaiden rolled up the scroll and tucked it away. He turned to look at the sun that was just barely over the horizon. He smiled a unnerving smile.
    "Before that sun reaches noon, you'll be dead my dear Viola."
    Last edited by Silverraptor; 2012-10-30 at 02:53 PM.
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  25. - Top - End - #1315
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Ah, another excellent piece of Prose. My hat goes off once again.
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  26. - Top - End - #1316
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    Yeeep, definitely interesting!
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  27. - Top - End - #1317
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Oh, poor Kurama. He is beginning to look like the a typical tsundere love victim.
    "Ceterum censeo mediomundum esse delendum."
    Quote Originally Posted by Claudius Maximus View Post
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    I will leave this world like I entered it - screaming and bathed in blood.

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  28. - Top - End - #1318
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Yeah, getting blasted first thing in the morning is propably not the nicest way for a day to start...

    Awesome chapter, Silver! Now things will get really interesting, it seems

  29. - Top - End - #1319
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Ooooh yeah... finally time to see some hot poison-paladin action!
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  30. - Top - End - #1320
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    Default Re: Paladin Academy: A Playground Inspired Story

    Kurama's such a wannabe romantic.
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