Void Dragon Knight (3.5 PEACH) [Completed]

[zenanarchist]

The class:

Knights are an order of fighters that were either born, or supplemented into the Void, an endless plane of Non-magic. Those that are born on the plane are considered "Pure Blood", a form of royalty amongst the order. Those that are supplemented become soldiers of a growing army dedicated to pursuing the ideals of their dragon god Khiriak. As the soldiers grow in power and fame they begin to take aspects of their god, granted his power for short bursts of time. Eventually they begin to resemble his avatar and their body begins taking on traits resembling the deity.

Knights hunt magic. They seek to eradicate it from any and all planets and believe that spell casters are the prime cause for the endless amount of wars that rage among the worlds. Every living Knight has a personal vendetta to seek out and destroy magic.

Race: Any race can be supplemented into the void, however Dragon Knights are usually larger or stronger races such as humans, half-orcs, dwarves or any other race capable of perpetuating the glory of battle. You may apply the Void Born template to a race (detailed description to follow).

Alignment: Any- Dragon Knights may hunt either all spell casters (evil and good) or simply evil spell casters. Those that hunt only evil spell casters are usually of the belief that their dragon god did not intend for all magic to be erased from the world, simply evil magic utilised for nefarious purposes.

Hit Die: 1D10 - Knights are designed to run into melee combat, to pass through the crowd, and to get at the spell casters usually in the rear. They need to be able to take punishment.

The Void Dragon Knights class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are: Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Gather Information (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (Religion, Arcana) (Int), Profession (Wis), Search (Int), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), Swim (Str), Survival (Wis)

Skill Points at 1st Level

(4 + Int modifier) ×4.
Skill Points at Each Additional Level

4 + Int modifier.

Weapon/Armour Proficiencies:

The Dragon Knight is proficient with all simple weapons and all armour types, but not with a shield of any type.

Starting Gold: 6d4 X 10

Void Dragon Knight
{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Special|Breath|Nat. Armor

1st|

+1

|

+2

|

+0

|

+2

|Claws of the void dragon|

-

|

+1

2nd|

+2

|

+3

|

+0

|

+3

|Dragon breath (cone), gaze of the void dragon 2/day (overpowering gaze)|

1d8

|

+1

3rd|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|

+3

|Maw of the dragon 2/day (bite)|

2d8

|

+1

4th|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

|

+4

|Flight, dragon breath (line)|

2d8

|

+2

5th|

+5

|

+4

|

+1

|

+4

|Dismiss magic 2/day, maw of the dragon 3/day (voice of a god), claws of the void dragon (eviscerate spells)|

3d8

|

+2

6th|

+6/+1

|

+5

|

+2

|

+5

|Dragon breath (dispelling cone), gaze of the void dragon 3/day (immobilizing gaze)|

3d8

|

+2

7th|

+7/+2

|

+5

|

+2

|

+5

|Void step 2/day|

4d8

|

+2

8th|

+8/+3

|

+6

|

+2

|

+6

|Dragon breath (dispelling line), perfect flight, void walker|

4d8

|

+3

9th|

+9/+4

|

+6

|

+3

|

+6

|Void step 4/day (40 ft), maw of the dragon 4/day (divine vocals)|

5d8

|

+3

10th|

+10/+5

|

+7

|

+3

|

+7

|Dragon breath (disintigrating cone), dismiss magic 4/day, gaze of the void dragon 4/day (piercing gaze), claws of the void dragon (improved claws) |

5d8

|

+3

11th|

+11/+6/+1

|

+7

|

+3

|

+7

|Spell resistance, void step 6/day (60 ft)|

6d8

|

+3

12th|

+12/+7/+2

|

+8

|

+4

|

+8

|Dragon breath (disintigrating line), void burst 1/day (anti-magic burst)|

6d8

|

+4

13th|

+13/+8/+3

|

+8

|

+4

|

+8

|Spell syphon 1/day, maw of the dragon 5/day (word of god)|

7d8

|

+4

14th|

+14/+9/+4

|

+9

|

+4

|

+9

|Dragon breath (greater dispelling cone), gaze of the void dragon 5/day (improved immobilize)|

7d8

|

+4

15th|

+15/+10/+5

|

+9

|

+5

|

+9

|Void burst 2/day (extended burst), void dragon aura, dismiss magic 6/day, claws of the void dragon (arcane disruption)|

8d8

|

+4

16th|

+16/+11/+6/+1

|

+10

|

+5

|

+10

|Dragon breath (greater dispelling line), greater spell syphon 2/day|

8d8

|

+6

17th|

+17/+12/+7/+2

|

+10

|

+5

|

+10

|Summon void shadow, maw of the dragon 6/day (fury of a god)|

9d8

|

+6

18th|

+18/+13/+8/+3

|

+11

|

+6

|

+11

|Dragon breath (distortion cone), void burst 3/day (void warp), gaze of the void dragon 6/day (improved overpower, improved pierce)|

9d8

|

+6

19th|

+19/+14/+9/+4

|

+11

|

+6

|

+11

|Tendrils of the void, void distortion|

10d8

|

+6

20th|

+20/+15/+10/+5

|

+12

|

+6

|

+12

|Dragon breath (distortion line), dragon aspect, void storm, claws of the void dragon (hand of the dragon god)|

10d8

|

+8

[/table]

Class Features

Claws of the Void Dragon (Su)

At first level the Knight undergoes a painful evolution; sharp claws made from the Void protrude from the Knights finger tips. These claws deal 1d8 damage at first and 2d6 at tenth, 2d8 at fifteenth, are a natural attack, and are a +1 weapon (Critical 19-20/X2). These claws entitle the Knight to Claw abilities at third level. At 5th, 10th, 15th, and 20th level, he gains additional uses of abilities related to the Void Claw, and he learns to invoke different effects. Activating any Claws ability is a standard action unless otherwise noted, and the knight may select any or all options below when activating the ability.

Eviscerate Spells: The Dragon Knight attempts to rend all spells from a spell caster. A touch AC strike is made on an opponent; if it is successful the claws act as if a "Dispel Magic" has been cast (As a caster of the same level as the Knight) on the spell caster. This ability does not work on effects occurring from magic items. The knight must be 5th level to activate this ability.

Improved Claws: The Knight's Void Claws now act as +5 Vorpal Wounding weapons. The knight must be 20th level to activate this ability.

Arcane Disruption:

On a successful touch attack with a Void claw, the knight disrupts a target's spellcasting. The victim cannot cast any spells, activate any spell-like abilities, or use any spell completion items (such as scrolls) for one round (Will negates, DC 10 + 1/2 VDK level + Cha modifier). The Knight must be 15th level before he can activate this ability.

Hand of the Dragon God: The claws now act as a +5 weapon, have the Vorpal attribute and cause a bleeding wound (1d4 damage per round for 1d6 rounds). The Knight must be 20th level before he can activate this ability.

Natural Armour (Ex)

The Knight begins to develop hardened draconic skin at fourth level, this ability grants +1 Natural AC in it's first stage and continues scaling by one every fourth level. The fearsome nature of these scales also grant a permanent +5 on intimidate checks.

Dragon Breath (Su): Upon reaching 2nd level, the void dragon knight can shout with the force of the dragon god. This functions as a draconic breath weapon, dealing the listed breath weapon damage as sonic damage in a 30-ft cone (Reflex have, DC 10 + 1/2 VDK level + Con modifier). Using Dragon Breath is a standard action, and the VDK must wait 1d4 rounds after using his breath weapon before he can use it again. As he advances in level, the knight gains additional options for his breath weapon, and may modify it with any one choice from the menu below.

Line: The breath weapon deals sonic damage in a 60-ft line. The knight must be at least 4th level to choose this option.

Dispelling line: the breath weapon deals no damage, but functions as the area version of a dispel magic spell in a 60-ft line (caster level equals VDK level). The knight must be at least 6th level to choose this option.

Dispelling cone: THe breath weapon deals no damage, but functions as the area version of a dispel magic spell in a 30-ft cone (caster level equals VDK level). The knight must be at least 8th level to choose this option.

Disintigrating cone: The breath weapon deals untyped magic damage in a 60-ft cone. Victims slain by it are reduced to fine ash, and cannot be resurrected by any spell that requires physical remains. Their equipment is unaffected. The knight must be at least 10th level to choose this option.

Disintigrating line: the breath weapon deals untyped magic damage in a 120-ft line. Victims slain by it are reduced to fine ash, and cannot be resurrected by any spell that requires physical remains. Their equipment is unaffected. The knight must be at least 12th level to choose this option.

Greater dispelling cone: The breath weapon deals no damage, but functions as the area version of a greater dispel magic spell in a 60-ft cone (caster level equals VDK level). The knight must be at least 14th level to choose this option.

Greater dispelling line: The breath weapon deals no damage, but functions as the area version of a greater dispel magic spell in a 120-ft line (caster level equals VDK level). The knight must be at least 16th level to choose this option.

Distortion cone: The breath weapon combines the effects of a disintigrating cone and a greater dispelling cone. The knight must be at least 18th level to choose this option.

Distortion line: The breath weapon combines the effects of a disintigrating line and a greater dispelling line. The knight must be at least 20th level to choose this option.

Gaze of the Void Dragon (Su): Twice per day, a knight of 2nd level may channel the power of the Void Dragon through his gaze. The effect has a range of 30 ft, lasts for 1 round. At 6th, 10th, 14th, and 18th level, the range and duration increase as shown on the table below, he gains additional uses of this ability, and he learns to invoke different effects. Activating Gaze of the Void Dragon is a standard action unless otherwise noted, and the knight may select any or all options below when activating the ability.

Overpowering Gaze: The knight glares at a single target within range. The target is stunned for 2 rounds (Will negates, DC 10 + 1/2 VDK level + Cha modifier). The void dragon knight must be at least 2nd level to use this option.

If the void dragon knight is at least 18th level, then the stunning occurs only on a successful save. On a failed save, the victim is dominated as the dominate monster spell.

Immobilizing Gaze: The knight's glare functions as a gaze attack. Victims are paralyzed as by the hold person spell. The void dragon knight must be at least 6th level to use this option.

If the void dragon knight is at least 14th level, Immobilizing Gaze functions as a hold monster spell.

Piercing Gaze: The knight's gaze pierces illusions and discerns magical auras within range. For 2 rounds, he gains the benefit of arcane sight and true seeing . If this is the only option the knight selects when activating Gaze of the Void Dragon, it may be activated as a swift action instead of a standard action. The void dragon knight must be at least 10th level to use this option.

If the void dragon knight is at least 18th level, the arcane sight effect is replaced with greater arcane sight.

{table]Level|Range|Duration|Uses Per Day
2nd|30 ft|1 round|2/day
6th|60 ft|2 rounds|3/day
10th|90 ft|3 rounds|4/day
14th|120 ft|4 rounds|5/day
18th|150 ft|5 rounds|6/day[/table]


Maw of the Dragon (Ex):

A knight of second level may (2/day) may channel his god directly through his mandible, gaining a bite attack (1d6).. At 4th, 8th, 12th, and 16th level, he gains additional uses of this ability, and he learns to invoke different effects. Activating Maw of the Dragon is a standard action unless otherwise noted, and the knight may select any or all options below when activating the ability.

Voice of a god: The knight, with a voice as compelling, charming and defiant as a god, gains +5 on Charisma checks for 1 round+1/2 VDK level+Cha Modifier. The knight must be at least 4th level to use this ability

Divine Vocals: The Dragon Knight now gains +10 to Charisma checks. The knight must be at least 8th level to use this ability.

Word of God: The Dragon Knight may now use his voice to damage those of opposing alignment to his god. The Knight uses the ability Word of God to create an effect identical to Holy Word if of a good alignment or Unholy Blight if of an evil alignment. This ability is used as if the Dragon Knight possessed caster level equal to that of a spell caster of similar level. The knight must be at least 12th level to use this ability

Fury of a God: The Dragon Knights bite attack now increases to 2d6 and if the Knight bites a victim in a grapple the attack causes effects identical to the Hold Person spell unless a Will Save (10+VDK level+Cha Modifier) is made. The knight must be at least 16th level to use this ability.

Flight (Ex)

The Knight gains flight from reptilian wings that burst from his spine. These wings grant Flight (Good, 50ft). The wings are retractable, however each time the Knight retracts or expands his wings he suffers 1D4 damage as punishment from his god for hiding his nature. When his wings are expanded the Knight recieves a +2 on Intimidation checks.

Dismiss Magic (Ex)

The Knight Waves his hand as a shean flickers over his eyes as he stares down a target under the effects of magic. This ability replicates a targeted "Dispel Magic" spell and is useable twice a day, scaling until it's peak of 6/day at 15th level. The Knight uses this ability as a caster of the same level. Using Dismiss Magic is a standard action with a range of 20ft per level of the Knight.

Void Step (Ex)

The Knight opens up a dimensional door to the void, quickly stepping through and reopening another door back on the material plane at a character designated location. This ability is extremely similar to the spell Dimension door except the travel distance it allowsl is modified. The ability also has the unique property of dispelling any and all spell effects that the user is currently being affected by. This ability affects positive effects as well. Void Step is able to be used four times per day, scaling until 14th level wherein they can use the ability six times per day with a maximum travel distance of 60ft per each Void Step taken. This requires a move action to activate and it can be used twice per round maximum. (120 ft distance total).

Flight, Perfect (Ex)

The Knight now gains better control of his wings and gains the Flight maneuverability "Perfect", with a speed of 60ft.

Void Walker (Ex)

The Knight now has the ability to shake off spells that would hinder his actions in anyway including spells such as Hold Person, Dominate etc. He may immediately re-roll his last failed save in regards to these spells. Additonally, the Knight now has immunity to spells such as Web, Entangle, Slow, or any other spells that would otherwise impede movement. He acts as if under the "Freedom of Movement" spell permanently. This does not take an action and takes place immediately after any failed roll.

Spell Resistance (Ex)

Being a creature of the Void, the Knights inherent anti-magical qualities become more prominent. The Knight gains spell resistance equal to 10+VDK class levels. This stacks with any spell resistance offered via race or other class levels.

Void Burst (Su)

Once per day, a knight of at least 12th level can use a mighty roar to release the force of the Void Dragon in a 30-ft radius centered on himself. At 15th and 18th level, he gains an additional use of Void Burst per day and learns to invoke different effects. Activating Void Burst is a standard action unless otherwise noted, and the knight may select any or all options below when activating the ability.

Anti-Magic Burst: All magic items, spell effects, spell-like abilities within the effect are suppressed for one round. Summoned creatures are destroyed, and called creatures (but not special mounts or animal companions) are returned to their home plane. With a successful saving throw (Will negates, DC 10 + 1/2 VDK level + Cha modifier), affected creatures resist being destroyed or dismissed (if summoned or called) and their personal magic items and spell effects are unaffected, but area spells and in-place effects are suppressed automatically. The void dragon knight must be at least 12th level to use this option.

Extended Burst: The void burst has a radius of 40 ft, and lasts for two rounds. Selecting the Extended Burst option increases the activation cost for Void Burst to a full-round action. The void dragon knight must be at least 15th level to use this option.

Void Warp: All creatures within the effect who are not destroyed or dismissed are warped into the Void for the duration of the effect (Reflex negates, DC 10 + 1/2 VDK level + Cha modifier). Creatures captured in the warp are unable to take actions and take 1d6 damage per round, or 1d10 damage if capable of casting spells or using spell-like abilities. While in the Void, spellcasters lose one randomly selected spell slot of their highest available spell level per round. Nonspellcasters with access to spell-like abilities that have limited uses per day lose one use of a randomly selected spell-like ability. Lost slots or uses cannot be regained by any means for 24 hours. When the Void Warp ends, victims reappear in their original locations. If another character now occupies that space, the creature appears in the nearest available space. The void dragon knight must be at least 18th level to use this option.


Spell Syphon (Ex)

Void Knights acknowledge that sometimes to fight a monster, it requires you to become a monster yourself. The Void Knight makes a Standard Action Void Claw Touch AC attack against any target with Spell Slots. If the attack is successful then two of the targets random highest level spell slots are transferred immediately to the Void Knight. The Knight may cast these spells as if he were a caster of equivalent level to that of the victim. This ability is useable twice per day.

Void Dragon Aura (Su)

Whenever the Knight makes more than a 10 foot movement in a round, all hostile individuals in a 15ft radius must undergo a Will Save (DC15+Cha Mod+1/2 Knights Caster level) or come under duplicate effects of the spell fear. This ability is permanently in effect.

Greater Spell Syphon (Ex)

The Dragon Knight may now Syphon 3 spell slots three times a day. This ability is a standard action.

Summon Void Shadow (Su)

This ability summons the Knights likeness from the Void. This Knight has access to the originals abilities and functions. However the Shadow has 1/2 the originals hit points, BAB, and Saves, and is also may only use the Void Dragon Knights abilities once while summoned. The Shadow Lasts for 10 rounds times the Knights Charisma Modifier. The Shadow has the same equipment as the Knight however does not gain the benefit of any spells or effects currently affecting the Knight. The summoned Shadow acts of it's own accord and recquires no direction or actions from the Knight. It is a full round action to summon the Shadow. If the Shadow uses a charge or depletes uses of an item, those charges and uses are depleted from the original as well.

Void Distortion (Ex)

All spells cast within 10 ft of a Void Knight automatically incur a 25% chance of failure. This Aura is lingering and lasts one round times the Knights Charisma modifier, if a Void Knight chooses to grapple a spell caster, they have a 75% chance of spell failure while being grappled (even spells not requring verbal or semantic components). Further, once the grapple has ended, the Caster suffers a continuing spell failure chance of 25% on top of the 25% chance from being within 10ft of the Knight for a duration of 1d4 rounds.

Tendrils of the Void (Su)

Every enemy within 50 ft of the designated area must make a reflex save (DC20+Knights Cha Modifier+1/2 Knights Level) or be grasped by black tendrils appearing from the ground. These tentacles restrict movement (Base land speed minus 10ft), and also drain spell casters energy. For each round a Spell Caster is restricted by tendrils one spell slot of the spell casters highest prepared spell is lost. The spell slots are regained after 1d8 rounds have passed. The caster is not grappled, merely restricted. All actions may still be taken as usual, however the caster suffers a 25% spell failure whilst restricted in this way due to the disturbing effects of the void. The Tendrils last 1d6 rounds.

Void Storm (Su)

Twice per day the Knight summons a storm as a standard action (inside or outside is irrelevant) which covers a 50ft radius eminating from the Knight. The Knight gains +3 to hit, +3 damage and +3 to all saves while standing in this storm. The radius of the storm is equivalent to an Antimagic Field and the spell Disjunction in that for 4 rounds all characters hostile towards the Knight have their spells fail automatically, all magic items flicker and then fail for the duration of the Storm and all summoned creatures are destroyed or sent back to their home plane. The storm also affords the Knight immunity to all Death, Destruction, annihalation and negative energy effects. The Knight can choose who this storm affects and allies may be excluded if the Knight chooses.

Dragon Aspect (Ex)

The Knight gains Fast Healing/2, becomes ageless, and may use his breath weapon as a standard action an unlimited number of times per day with a 1D4 recharge time between breaths. He may also shapeshift 2/day for 3 rounds as a standard action into a Greater Wyrm (colour dragon must match alignment), with all the abilities, modes of locomotion, and attack methods of said dragon however they cannot use Draconic spell casting. Also, as a full round action he may call two Adult Wyverns to his aid for 1d8 rounds who act of their own accord and become immediately hostile to any enemy of the Knight. Finally, due to the Knights time in the void, he becomes partially incorporeal to all attacks (Melee, ranged, targeted spell) and has concealment 20%.

Feats

Spoiler

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Mage Hunter

Your character is faster and more agile around spell casters and whenever he is within a 30ft radius of a spell caster (eminating from the spell caster not from the character taking the feat), he gains a bonus +10ft to movement, +3 to jump checks and +3 to tumble checks.

Arcane Displacement

Your character is naturally adept at deflecting spells. Whenever a spell with the character as a target is cast, that character may immediately make a (DC20+Caster level) Will save. If the save is made the character may redirect that spell to any other individual within 30ft of the character to whom this feat is attributed.

Animal Hybrid

The character gains Weapon Focus: Claw and Weapon Focus: Bite, as well as increasing the damage dice by one category on their natural attacks. Thus a character doing 1d4 does 1d6 damage instead, 1d6 becomes 1d8 and so on and so forth.

[zenanarchist]

Just changed some ability wording around, and added Void Walker.

To give you a base run down in case you come to the second smaller post before reading the rest in it's entirety:

This melee class has access to:

• Flight
• Full BAB
• Large AC
• Multiple Dispels
• Magic Impeding abilities
• Spell stealing and sharing
• Massive caster beat down
• Improved Speed
• A shadow companion
• Excellent Will saves
• Freedom of Movement
• A dimension door like spell that lets you dispel effects currently afflicting your Knight

I hope this adds something to your game. I'm open to any and all suggestions and critiques. Especially so on the useage of claws over weapons. I was hoping to try and avoid the "Fighter only good determined on WBL" cliche that they so commonly run into.

Hopefully this class would give a caster (at least at levels 1-12) a pretty good run for their money!

Looking forward to hearing from you all.

Creator note:

I'll admit I don't play D and D, but I like the design element of the homebrew section. I also noticed a lot of threads having a go at the lack of ability of a fighter. That and the fighters ability to not be able to deal with, or go up against a mage. Well... I have to admit to a bit of a fondness in my PC RPG days for the melee basher, and a strange dislike of casters...I guess due to their squishyness. But I also did not like how quickly a fighter fell to the spells of the casters. So without any skill in designing, I hope you wonderful people here in the homebrew section can tell me if A) Anything like this exists B) How it stacks up in doing what it's supposed to do (bash things and avoid spells, as well as add to out of combat experiences) and C) How flavourful it is and finally D) Is it...dare I say it, broken? Because I feel it scales adequately for a melee fighter trying to go toe to toe with a caster. I tried to give the Dragon Void Knight as much at each level as I possibly could to help in his in combat/out of combat choices. I also wanted to make the player utilise the Knights Claw attacks, so I gave him as many incentives as I could to use them without breaking the concept of the character, and hopefully without making the character "Broken". I ensured that there were no dead levels at all and also that they had the chance to really make something of a melee character. I didn't want this to be a "fighter fix" so much as a "mage hunter" that could still front line with the fighter and barbarian.

[zenanarchist]

Seriously guys!? lol.

100 views and no opinions? Hit me with 'em people?

Is the class boring and not warranting opinion? Is it broken beyond belief and you're too worried I'll take it harshly?

Seriously, hit me with them. I'd love to make edits to this class to make it s*** hot as a melee option.

Is he a glass canon? Do you feel he'll over shadow the other party members? Will the other party members be carrying him to or from a certain level?

Let me know!!

[Dumbledore lives]

I like the class, it seems to be balanced at about a tier 3, though I'm not that good at judging these things.

There are a couple minor issues with the formatting and stuff, like the two blank rows in the table, and lvl 17 has a +x in the Will section, you might want to fix that. I'll try to get a more detailed opinion on the class later.

[zenanarchist]

Oh BUGGER.

I looked through that table multiple times and didn't even spot those two issues. Thanks for pointing them out!!!

Secondly, awesome that it's balanced, sad face that it's tier 3, I was aiming for a tier 2. But I gotta say, score at it not being further down. Thanks!

Yeah no worries, any criticism is good criticism!!

[Zeta Kai]

You don't have to redo the whole table, just edit & insert the level 1 info. Your table isn't even off. Here you go:
{table]1st|+1|+2|+0|+2|Class Features|||||[/table]

[arguskos]

Void Dragon Knight
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special
1st|

+1

|

+2

|

+0

|

+2

|Natural Armour +1, Breath Weapon 1/day-1d6
2nd|

+2

|

+3

|

+0

|

+3

|Lesser Dragon Gaze 2/day, Tongue of the Dragon
3rd|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|

+3

|Breath Weapon 2/day-2D6, Modify Breath (Void- Line 60ft)

4th|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

|

+4

|Natural Armour +2, Flight Burst 1/day

5th|

+5

|

+4

|

+1

|

+4

|Dismiss Magic 2/Day, Breath Weapon 3/Day 3D6

6th|

+6/+1

|

+5

|

+2

|

+5

|Void Claw 1D8, Void Gaze 3/day

7th|

+7/+2

|

+5

|

+2

|

+5

|Void Step 2/Day, Breath Weapon 4/Day 4D6, Modify Breath (Void- Cone 15ft)

8th|

+8/+3

|

+6

|

+2

|

+6

|Natural Armour +3. Flight Burst, Perfect 2/day, Void Walker

9th|

+9/+4

|

+6

|

+3

|

+6

|Breath Weapon 5/Day 5D6, Void Step 4/Day- 40 ft

10th|

+10/+5

|

+7

|

+3

|

+7

|Spell Resistance 5, Dismiss Magic 4/Day, Greater Dragon Gaze (3/day)

11th|

+11/+6/+1

|

+7

|

+3

|

+7

|Breath Weapon 6D6, (Void Burst-20 ft radius centred on Knight), Natural Armour +4, Void Claw, Greater 1d10

12th|

+12/+7/+2

|

+8

|

+4

|

+8

|Antimagic burst, Natural Armour +4, Breath Weapon 7D6, Spell Resistance 10

13th|

+13/+8/+3

|

+8

|

+4

|

+8

|Breath Weapon 8D6, Natural Armour +5, Spell Syphon

14th|

+14/+9/+4

|

+9

|

+4

|

+9

|Void Step 6/Day - 60 ft, Void Gaze 4/Day, Greater Tongue of the Dragon, Flight Burst 3/day

15th|

+15/+10/+5

|

+9

|

+5

|

+9

|Improved Antimagic burst, Perfect Dragon Gaze 2/day, Void Dragon Aura, Dismiss Magic 6/day

16th|

+16/+11/+6/+1

|

+10

|

+5

|

+10

|Greater Spell Syphon, Breath Weapon 9D6, Natural Armour +6, Spell Resistance 10

17th|

+17/+12/+7/+2

|

+10

|

+10

|

+x

|Void Warp 2/Day, Summon Void shadow.

18th|

+18/+13/+8/+3

|

+11

|

+5

|

+11

|Void Distortion, Breath Weapon 10D6, Natural Armour +7

19th|

+19/+14/+9/+4

|

+11

|

+6

|

+11

|Void Claw- Perfect, Tendrils of the Void.

20th|

+20/+15/+10/+5

|

+12

|

+6

|

+12

|Void Storm, Dragon Aspect, Spell Resistance 15[/table]

Fixed your table. Copy-paste to your hearts content.

[Milskidasith]

First off: Table formatting needs to be fixed (though at the time I started posting this, the fixed table was ready to be C&P'd, so not a big deal).

Second: If you don't play D&D, why are you homebrewing for it? I'm not saying you can't, it's just that it's probably hard to fix something if you haven't played to know how the problem really occurs in play.

Third: Abilities should be listed in the order you get them, not... however you listed them.

A Void Dragon Knight gains hardened skin in light of his draconic heritage, scales form rock hard defensive ridges over the Knights entire body, providing him with an other wordly defense mechanism.

This should be reworded, because generally the mechanical bonus is listed as well. Also, normally when you get bonuses that scale, they scale with a pattern, while yours seems to be random; it starts with +2, then adds one point after four levels, one more point after another for levels, another point the level after that, a point three levels later, and then another point after two levels.

Breath Weapon (Su)[/B]

The void dragon gains the breath weapon a certain number of times per day, this energy type is untyped and thus unable to be resisted via energy resistance. The breath weapon does not function in Antimagic Fields. This ability is useable once per day at 1st level, two a day at third, three a day at fifth, until 5/day at 9th level.

This needs to be reworded, because the last sentence has some grammatical errors. The fact it doesn't function in an AMF doesn't need to be stated, since it is an Su ability. It also never states what action it takes or what the recharge time is for the breath weapon.

Dragon Gaze, Lesser (Ex)

The Knight stares down his foe, the glare of the Void dragon stunning one individual that has line of sight, currently has vision that enables him to see the Knights eyes, and is subject to mind affecting abilities. The target must undergo a Will save (DC 15+Knights Charisma modifier).

This needs to be reworded, again. The will save shouldn't be DC 15 at level 2, it should be DC 11, or scale (10+cha mod + 1/2 class level). The target must make a will save or... what? It's normally "make a will save" not "undergo" as another aside. The first sentence stuns somebody that has line of sight (to what?), and then can see the Knight's eyes (can he avert his gaze?)... it should probably just be any target that has line of sight. This also doesn't specify what action it is, nor does it specify the range.

Greater Dragon Gaze (Ex)

The Knights gaze has become so fearsome that all creatures with line of sight to the Knight are subject to a Will Save (DC 20+Knights Charisma modifier). Companions are also subject to this effect upon activation.

This is even more incomprehensible... a will save or what? Why is the DC 20 for a 10th level ability? Why does it automatically affect your allies? Who would use an ability that hurts his allies as much as it hurts his enemies? What action does this take? Can he turn this ability off so he doesn't... whatever effect it causes all commoners he ever meets?

Perfect Dragon Gaze (Ex)

The Knight now has the ability to utilise the eyes of his dragon god. He gains Darkvision out to 60ft, +5 to spot checks, and has the ability to dominate an individual as the spell "Dominate Person".

60 foot darkvision isn't exactly "godly." True seeing a few times per day would be a lot more godly, especially since this is only an amount of times per day. Does the dominate ability affect all people nearby? What is the save required? What action does it take? Are you sure you didn't mean Dominate Monster, because for a level 15 ability, that's a lot more relevant.

Tongue of the Dragon (Ex)

The Knight imbues himself with the voice of his god and twice per day can add +5 to his Charisma checks.

Minor fluff ability.

Greater Tongue of the Dragon (Ex)

The Knight now has the ability to comprehend and speak all languages, he also gains +10 to Diplomacy checks 2/day

And it goes from.. +5 to all charisma checks to +10 to only diplomacy? Still a minor fluff effect.

Modify Breath, Void- Line 60 ft (Su)

This ability changes the breath weapon into a dispel effect, travelling in a 60 ft line. The breath weapon will cancel the lowest spell currently active, being cast, or in stasis (e.g Delayed Fireball) of any target the breath touches, whether they are casting or just under the effect. The breath weapon, due to being of a void nature, can travel through individuals to strike at those behind. However, it cannot penetrate or curve around cover. Thus you could target a mage hiding behind three of his Stoneskin companions, and all would have the stone skin dispelled if they are in a straight line and Stone skin is the lowest active spell, however you could not target a mage hiding behind a crate. This ability swaps Breath Weapon damage for the dispel effect.

You don't need to describe a line effect. By nature of it being a line, it is self evident it goes through in a line. As for the way it dispels... it is... unique. Most of the time you make a check to dispel, though it's not a huge thing. Of course, again, this is badly worded... I don't know if this is automatic or if you can choose to do it, what action it takes, or how you'd ever hit a target that is casting a spell with it. It also doesn't specify how to determine the spell if all spells are cast at the same level, which is very likely.

Modify Breath, Void- Cone 15ft (Su)

The Knight modifies his breath into a 15 ft long cone, dispelling all lowest spells currently active, being cast, or in stasis. The breath weapon, being of a void nature, is able to travel through individuals to those behind, this ability can circumvent cover. This ability swaps Breath Weapon damage for the dispel effect.

You don't need to explain cones. Autodispel is broken. Remove this.

Modify Breath, Void- Burst 20ft Radius (Su)

The Knight spins in a tight, fast circle, expanding his breath in a 20ft radius centred on his person. This ability dispels all lowest spells currently active, being cast, or in stasis. This ability can circumvent cover and can travel through individuals to those behind. This ability swaps Breath Weapon damage for the dispel effect.

Lowest spells? What is that? Lowest Spell Level? Lowest caster level? Why is it weaker than the cone? Why do you constantly refer to all active, being cast, or "in stasis" spells instead of just saying that it dispels things; the only things that can be dispelled are buffs with a duration anyway.

Flight Burst (Ex)

The Knight sprouts wings from his back for 1 round per character level. The Knight may fly with Good maneuverability and a fly speed of 60ft. This ability is used 1/day, scaling until 3 times a day at 14th level.

How does it scale? What levels? This should be in the text and the table. This isn't a very good flight ability, either; giving him permanent flight wouldn't hurt.

Dismiss Magic (Ex)

The Knight Waves his hand as a shean flickers over his eyes as he stares down a target under the effects of magic. This ability is in all respects a duplicate of the spell "Dispel Magic", however it only effects a single creature. This ability is useable twice a day, scaling until it's peak of 6/day at 15th level.

You could just say it duplicates a targeted dispel magic. How do you know what the caster level is? What action does this take? What is the range on it? Why would they use this instead of their automatic "I dispel all spells" thing?

Void Claw 1D8(Natural Attack)

The Void Knight's hands, in an excruciatingingly painful evolution, reform to become claws made of the Void. These claws dispel the highest level spell currently effecting the target unless a Will Save is made DC 15+Knights CL Level. The attack must first succeed at hitting the creatures touch AC. If the Will Save is successful however, the target still undergoes regular damage from the attack.

So how do you determine what they do? Why would 1d8 damage with no other modifiers be relevant; even at level 1, that's fairly poor, let alone level 6. Do you get two claw attacks or just one (it's singular). Why is the will save unusually high for the class level? Why do you have all these auto dispels instead of just a normal dispel magic?

Void Claw, Greater 1D10(Natural Attack)

The Knights claw attack may now be used to dispel the highest and lowest spell currently active. However the target is allowed a will save DC10+Knights charisma modifier. If the Will Save is successful, the recipient still takes the damage from the claw attack. Unlike the lesser void claw, this attack must succeed on touching flesh, thus the attack must beat the targets actual AC including enchantments from items, armour and shield bonuses.

Why is this weaker? In exchange for an extra auto dispel and an average of one more damage, you have to hit a much harder AC number and the will save to avoid the DC is much easier.

Void Claw, Perfect 1D12(Natural Attack)

The claw attack now not only dispels the highest and lowest spell currently active (as Void Claw, greater) but also acts as a +5 weapon for purposes of attacking creatures with enchantments, the Void Claw also acts as if it had the properties Cold Iron, Adamantite and Silver. The claws also cause Bleeding wounds (1d4 damage per round for 3 rounds). The claws also critical hit on a 18-20 instead of a natural 20.

Yeah, this isn't a huge bonus. I'd still prefer the lesser claw since it has an actually decent will save and the +5 to hit doesn't matter when you don't get to attack touch AC any more.

Void Walker (Ex)

The Knight now has the ability to shake off spells that would hinder his actions in anyway including spells such as Hold Person, Dominate, Force Cage etc. He may re-roll his last failed save in regards to these spells. Additonally, the Knight now has immunity to spells such as Web, Entangle Slow, or any other spells that would otherwise impede movement. He acts as if under the "Free Movement" spell permanently.

First of all, the spell is "Freedom of Movement." Second of all, you should probably italicize spells, instead of putting quotes around them, as is the norm. Anyway, when does he reroll his save; immediately? The next round? How does he reroll a save for force cage when it has no save? What if it's a damaging spell like, for instance, wings of flurry, where it dazes you for a round and deals full damage on a failed reflex save; if he rerolls next round, does he somehow ignore half the damage if he passes his save? How does he reroll his save against hold person when it gets a save every round? This ability is *incredibly* vague and, like everything else so far, doesn't go into enough detail on when it activates (or, for everything else, what action it takes). How many rerolled saves do you get?

Void Gaze (Ex)

The Knight looks past the false visions of wizards and magic users, easily seeing through any veils or enchantments designed to confuse and mislead. This ability is useable 3/day and is equivalent to the spell "True Seeing" in everything it bestows upon the user. The ability lasts for 3 rounds.

This isn't problematic, though I believe you mean "illusions" not "enchantments" because True Seeing does nothing to enchantments. Also, again, it doesn't state what action this takes.

Void Step (Ex)

The Knight opens up a dimensional door to his home plane, quickly stepping through and reopening a portal to a location designated by himself. This ability is in extremely similar to the spell Dimension door except the distance it allows to travel is modified. The ability also has the unique property of dispelling any and all spell effects that the user is currently being affected by. This ability affects positive effects as well. This ability is able to be used four times per day, scaling until 14th level wherein they can use the ability six times per day with a maximum distance each step of 60ft.

Wait, what is this about home plane? Most campaigns take place with material plane natives... I'd hardly consider a plane gotten from entering a class home. Again, the scaling doesn't list when you get extra abilities. What does a maximum distance each step mean; 60 foot range on the spell, or 60 foot range per step you take, which isn't statted out anywhere? What action does it take?

Flight Burst, Perfect (Ex)

At 8th level the Knight gains greater control of his Flight Bursts. All Flight burts now utilise Perfect maneuverability instead of Good.

No complaint.

Antimagic burst (Ex)

The Knight unleashes a might roar, imbued with the full force of the Void Dragon God. This ability dispels all item effects, spell effects, spell like abilities and spells within a 30ft radius for one round. This ability affects companions spells, items and enchantments as well. This ability will will also dispel the ability Flight Burst.

Holy crap this is worthless and broken at the same time. Auto dispel everything is insane... but the fact it affects your allies is pointless. This should be removed, because nobody will use it when it screws over their own abilities and their allies, but it's also broken just because no save no CL check dispels do not, and should not, exist. The only thing that does that is Disjunction, and that's a ninth level spell most DMs don't use due to the fact it's too broken for play. This still doesn't tell what action it takes.

Improved Antimagic Burst (Ex)

The Antimagic burst now continues for two rounds, affects a 40ft radius and is useable once per day.

So now you screw over your allies (and yourself) for two rounds instead of one.

Spell Syphon (Ex)

The Knights Void claws enter into the targets soul, stealing the energy therein and transferring it to a companion to be utilised to destroy the spell caster. The Knight makes a Touch AC attack, if successful the Knight may "steal" one spell slot up to 1/2 his Character Level. He then has two rounds to touch his companion and "transfer" this stored energy to his companion. The energy may only be transferred to a spell casting companion. Due to the destructive intent of the Knight, the companion caster may only add a destructive spell to the extra spell slot, that spell must then be used against any spell caster within range of the spell. If the spell is used against a melee opponent, it fizzles. If the spell is not used against a spell caster within 3 rounds, it fizzles.

OK, this is... I don't even understand it. Breaking it down... you make a touch attack (what action?), and if it succeeds, you get to steal a spell (does the mage lose the spell slot? When do they get it back; if it fizzles? After it is cast? The next day?), and then you have two rounds to transfer it (How? What action does it take), but it has to be a destructive spell (What is a destructive spell? This shouldn't be so vague), and then it can only be used against spellcasters, but not melee opponents (so if the spellcaster is next to you, it doesn't work? What about if you use it on an archer who can't cast spells? What if it's a gish that casts and fights in melee?)

This ability is incredibly poorly worded and, assuming a standard action for each ability, not even useful, because if the spell you're giving your arcane ally was worth it, he could probably cast it on his own anyway.

Void Dragon Aura (Su)

When the Knight travels towards an opponent that individual must make a Will Save (Dc15+Knight Level) or flee 15ft in the opposite direction. The Knight designates a target that he is moving towards (even if he is moving to something near that object), if the Knight fails to designate a target, the individual closest to the Knights path must make the Will Save. Any individuals with 5 ft of the path between the Knight and the designated target must undergo a Will Save in this way and flee if unsuccessful.

This doesn't state the action (again...), and it doesn't make sense... this would be a lot better as a fear effect instead of 15 feet of movement, because I can't tell if they immediately move 15 feet, or have to move on their turn. Also, if you designate a target, then why are all targets near the path hit; that removes the point of designating a target. Again, this ability is so vague as to be useless.

Greater Spell Syphon (Ex)

The dragon knight attempts a void claw against the targets Touch AC, if successful two spell splots up to 1/4 of the Knights CL are syphoned (Max Spell Level: 5), these slots must be transferred within two rounds to a companion spell caster. The spells transferred must be destructive in nature and used against any spellcaster within the spells range. Any attempt to utilise the spell slots against a non magic user will result in spell failure.

Same problems as the other spell syphon... and this is actually worse than the previous one.

Void Warp (Su)

All individuals in a 30 ft radius of the Void Knight are warped into the Void for 2 rounds unless a reflex save is made to run clear (DC20+1/2 Knights CL). While in the Void- Spell casters lose one spell slot of their highest level per round in the Void, these spells cannot be regained by any means for 24 hours. Every individual captured in the warp must also suffer 1D6 damage per round, casters suffer 1D10 damage per round. This ability is useable twice per day.

The action to use this is, again, not stated. Since the knight doesn't have a caster level, and his charisma bonus isn't added in to the DC, you can just say it's DC 20 and be done with it... if you meant DC 20 + half the knights class level plus the knights character level, then it should be DC 10 base, not 20, because that is how all abilities with saves work.

Summon Void Shadow (Su)

This ability summons the Knights likeness from the Void. This Knight has access to the originals abilities and functions. However the Shadow has 1/2 the originals hit points, BAB, and Saves, and is also may only use the Void Dragon Knights abilities once while summoned. The Shadow Lasts for 10 rounds X the Knights Charisma Modifier.

This is, again, vague. It doesn't describe what action it takes to summon, what action it takes to control the shadow, whether the shadow has your items, etc. It's too vague to be usable.

Void Distortion (Ex)

All spells cast within 10 ft of a Void Knight automatically incur a 25% chance of failure. This Aura is lingering and lasts one round times the Knights Charisma modifier, if a Void Knight chooses to grapple a spell caster, they have a 75% chance of spell failure while being grappled (even spells not requring verbal or semantic components). Further, once the grapple has ended, the Caster suffers a continuing spell failure chance of 25% on top of the 25% chance from being within 10ft of the Knight.

When does the spell failure chance after a grapple end? Otherwise... eh, it's not that great, but at least it's the first ability that isn't so vague that it couldn't be used without modifying.

Tendrils of the Void (Su)

Every enemy within 25 ft of the designated area must make a reflex save (DC20+1/2 Knights CL -rounded down) or be grasped by black tendrils appearing from the ground. These tentacles restrict movement (Base land speed-10ft), and also drain spell casters energy. For each round a Spell Caster is restricted by tendrils one spell slot of the spell casters highest prepared spell is lost. The spell slots are regained after 5 rounds have passed.

Again, what action does it take to do this? Why does it keep referring to the knight's caster level in the DC when the knight isn't a caster? Why is no stat included in the DC? Why is the DC not at all standard? What is the grapple check of the tendrils?

Dragon Aspect (Ex)

The Knight takes on the Aspect of his Elder god. He is now considered an Outsider, he permanently gains Flight (Perfect 50ft) from reptilian wings sprouting from his spine, two feats of the players choice associated with Flight, he also begins to display some of the effects of time in the void and is partially incorporeal- all attacks now suffer a 25% miss chance against the Knight whether they be melee or a targeted spell. The Knight becomes ageless.

So ranged attacks don't have a miss chance? Why does he get random feats? What does he get from the outsider type, and can he be revived?

Void Storm (Su)

Once per day the Knight summons a storm (inside or outside is irrelevant) which covers a 50ft square area, centred on the Knight. This storm lasts for four rounds, and no spell casting may take place within it's area, no spells may enter the area, and any caster moving outside of the area of the storm cannot cast spells for a further two rounds. While in the storm a Knight gains +3 to all attacks, damage and saves. Further, all attacks regardless of use by a weapon or by the Knights void claws drain one spell slot up to 1/4 of the Knights Character Level. Further still, all casters suffer -2 to their AC, -2 to saves and -2 to hit.

A fifty foot square area is less than a five foot radius circle. This is again vague and doesn't explain anything, and even AMF, which is *incredibly* poorly worded, is more specific than this; for instance, what about summoned creatures or instantaneous conjurations? Are items deactivated in the storm? I just don't know.

In short, this class is unplayable. The abilities are weird, with "greater" abilities being weaker, the saves for the abilities are out of whack, the wording is vague, not one ability you get has the action it takes described, the auto dispels are broken, and, again, the wording is so vague many abilities are not possibly usable even if you assume they have a standard action use time.

[Temotei]

In short, this class is unplayable. The abilities are weird, with "greater" abilities being weaker, the saves for the abilities are out of whack, the wording is vague, not one ability you get has the action it takes described, the auto dispels are broken, and, again, the wording is so vague many abilities are not possibly usable even if you assume they have a standard action use time.

Using a supernatural ability is a standard action unless noted otherwise.

One thing is somewhat fixed.

[Milskidasith]

One thing is somewhat fixed.

Did not know that, although stating it's a standard action wouldn't hurt. The wording is still... not exactly good.

[Temotei]

Did not know that, although stating it's a standard action wouldn't hurt. The wording is still... not exactly good.

I didn't know it until I saw it in another thread. I think it was Curmudgeon that posted it...which wouldn't be surprising.

I post the action required anyway in my homebrew, though, for the people that don't know and for ease of use.

[arguskos]

I didn't know it until I saw it in another thread. I think it was Curmudgeon that posted it...which wouldn't be surprising.

I've always really known that. Strange, I figured Mils would, if no one else. Also, Curmudgeon is... ugh, opinion is inexpressible on the boards.

[Temotei]

Curmudgeon is...

...awesome at remembering rules?

Because he is.

EDIT: I just realized Curmudgeon doesn't have a gender symbol.

[zenanarchist]

Bahaha brilliant. Brilliant! I will be removing this class from the thread now. I've learned a lot from that review! I think I shall toddle off, do some tinkering, make another class with these tips and hints in mind and come back.

Thank you so much for the review.

The only way to learn is to make mistakes!!

You guys rock.

Also, side note.

I decided to make classes for people to play because I love design!

[arguskos]

zenanarchist, do not remove the class. Improve it instead. Put the legwork into it here, where folk can help guide you along the path. Don't just scrap it and start from square zero.

[zenanarchist]

You make a fair point....Okay and done!

If you guys think it could be viable with a re-work I shall indeed square it off for playability!!!

[Maerok]

It's an interesting class. Just needs some work to bring it up to speed.

[zenanarchist]

*massive smiley face not expressionable via a smiley*

But just in case:

The ability descriptions of EVERYTHING were reworded, action times were added and I tried to make them make a little more sense as well as make the higher level abilities a lot more powerful

I still have to rearrange the descriptions to match the table but bear with me here.

Are the abilities now easier to be understood, and is the class now playable?

Thanks again!

[jiriku]

Needs weapon and armor proficiencies.

Needs to specify shape of breath weapon (30-ft cone, 60-ft line, etc.)

Need to specify save DC for the Reflex save for half damage associated with a breath weapon.

The DC for Modify Breath is too high to be practical for a Charisma check. I'd suggest you replace it with a level check against 11+caster level, as is standard for dispel attempts.

Void Walker is too powerful for an 8th level ability. It would be more appropriate if granted between levels 11 to 15. Also, it is listed as allowing the character to re-roll saves against forcecage, but forcecage does not offer a save.

Void Gaze is too powerful for a 6th level ability. It would be more appropriate if granted between levels 9 to 12.

Anti-Magic Burst: Since the effect has a duration, you should use the word "suppresses" to describe it, rather than "dispels", which implies a permanent effect.

Spell Syphon: This is a bookkeeping nightmare. I recommend you discard this ability for something more straightforward. How about the caster loses one randomly determined spell slot from his highest level of available spells and the VDK gains temp hit points for an hour equal to twice the level of the siphoned spell?

Void Warp: Vaguely defined. Is the Void an alternate plane? What does it look like? Can charactes take action there? Is the VDK affected when he uses this ability? Also DC of the save for a supernatural ability is always 10 + 1/2 level + Cha modifier.

Summon Void Shadow: To prevent abuse, you should specify that if the duplicate uses a copy of a consumable or charged item, the orginal item and the copy are both depleted.

Tendrils of the Void: Weak for a 19th level ability. Would be more appropriate at 15th or 16th level.

Dragon Aspect: To be consistent with other effects, just describe the miss chance as concealment (20%). Shapeshift ability is poorly worded and could be interpreted to grant draconic spellcasting. Its power is also variable depending on the VDK's alignment, which is bad design.

Void Storm: Too many modifiers. Applying all of these penalties and bonuses and chances on top of all the other temporary effects and modifiers found at 20th level is an unnecessary math attack. I recommend you scrap this ability and replace it with a simple effect, perhaps a conditional disjunction field that automatically dispells all ongoing magic for 5 minutes (with a save to negate), or a field of protection that offers blanket immunity to, say, all death, destruction, annihilation and negative energy effects.

[zenanarchist]

Needs weapon and armor proficiencies.

Needs to specify shape of breath weapon (30-ft cone, 60-ft line, etc.)

Need to specify save DC for the Reflex save for half damage associated with a breath weapon.

The DC for Modify Breath is too high to be practical for a Charisma check. I'd suggest you replace it with a level check against 11+caster level, as is standard for dispel attempts.

Void Walker is too powerful for an 8th level ability. It would be more appropriate if granted between levels 11 to 15. Also, it is listed as allowing the character to re-roll saves against forcecage, but forcecage does not offer a save.

Void Gaze is too powerful for a 6th level ability. It would be more appropriate if granted between levels 9 to 12.

Anti-Magic Burst: Since the effect has a duration, you should use the word "suppresses" to describe it, rather than "dispels", which implies a permanent effect.

Spell Syphon: This is a bookkeeping nightmare. I recommend you discard this ability for something more straightforward. How about the caster loses one randomly determined spell slot from his highest level of available spells and the VDK gains temp hit points for an hour equal to twice the level of the siphoned spell?

Void Warp: Vaguely defined. Is the Void an alternate plane? What does it look like? Can charactes take action there? Is the VDK affected when he uses this ability? Also DC of the save for a supernatural ability is always 10 + 1/2 level + Cha modifier.

Summon Void Shadow: To prevent abuse, you should specify that if the duplicate uses a copy of a consumable or charged item, the orginal item and the copy are both depleted.

Tendrils of the Void: Weak for a 19th level ability. Would be more appropriate at 15th or 16th level.

Dragon Aspect: To be consistent with other effects, just describe the miss chance as concealment (20%). Shapeshift ability is poorly worded and could be interpreted to grant draconic spellcasting. Its power is also variable depending on the VDK's alignment, which is bad design.

Void Storm: Too many modifiers. Applying all of these penalties and bonuses and chances on top of all the other temporary effects and modifiers found at 20th level is an unnecessary math attack. I recommend you scrap this ability and replace it with a simple effect, perhaps a conditional disjunction field that automatically dispells all ongoing magic for 5 minutes (with a save to negate), or a field of protection that offers blanket immunity to, say, all death, destruction, annihilation and negative energy effects.

Fantastic.

Will get on to fixing all these as well. Good feedback. However, I wanted to keep some of the abilities "too powerful" so this warrior can smack a wizard around a little. I think some of the abilities that a wizard gets at their levels are "too powerful" as well.

[zenanarchist]

All changes are now complete except, of course, the reorganising of the Ability descriptions to fit the table and when the Knight recieves them. Does anyone have any advice for taking this from a Tier 3 to a Tier 2? Is it possible with a melee class? I feel the change to Spell Syphon might aid a bit in this?

[jiriku]

The distinction between a Tier 3 and Tier 2 class is that Tier 2 can, with the right "trick", break the game.

This should not be a design goal for you.

As written, this is an extremely powerful class. If I were to suggest you change anything, it would be to broaden the application of the existing abilities (don't add any more new ones) to be useful outside of combat. You don't want to fall into fighter syndrome and find that you can't contribute anything to the game without rolling initiative.

[zenanarchist]

Then Tier 3 it shall remain.

Good suggestion on out of combat usefulness. But due to that all but two of the abilities are combat orientated, do you have any suggestions to how I might develop this?

P.S Powerful is good, very good!

[Waargh!]

Really like the flavor of this class, but some things need fixing. Good job!

SR 1is just toooo low. Make it at least 10+1/2level+something or 10+level. The breath weapons damage is too low. The 1d6/2 level won't really work. Especially since he already has other powerful abilities that would make breath weapon useless. Make it 1d8/2 levels at least. Or 1d4 per level.

Make it "Greater Dispel" or specify that there is no limit on CL like Dispel Magic.

Reading the description it seems like it is a race or a template. But it is a class that all creatures can use no matter what. I would suggest specifying that it is an order and adding some information about how a creature is initiated in the order. Some sort of ritual maybe? Add some multi-class restrictions (non-spell casters).

Spell Syphon can break the game. Make the Knight be able to cast them until one time (1 minute for example). And specify that the Knight has to have the required class levels to cast the spell (class level equal to caster level for this purpose).
I think he has far too many abilities. You can make some permanent and discard a lot of existing ones. I like them all, but I am guessing that doing everything is kind of bad :). Make him simpler is my suggestion. Breath, gaze, claws, body (armor, flight, other) are kind of enough. Take away void step, summon.
I ll give some suggestions if you don't mind:
Void Points [1 every two levels]
The Knight can open a temporarily portal to the Void altering reality itself. He can do so for every point he has. The points are replenished after 24hours. By spending a single point the knight can instantaneously travel to the Void and come back. This is a free action used once per round. Each spell on the Knight is subject to a Greater Dispel Magic effect using the class level as a caster level. Alternatively, the Knight can use the points to utilize some of his abilities.
[Main defense against spells]
[Now give breath, claws and gaze and etc abilities a cost, so players won't have to have a whole list of available daily abilities. Typically, one point or two for more advance effects. Three-four for other powerful abilities]
Void Body
Spell and spell-like abilities have a reduced duration on the Knight. Substitute rounds for minutes, minutes for hours and hours for day on spell durations. If the effect is permanent, the Knight can try to Dispel it every, as if he used Greater Dispel Magic with his class level as a caster level.
If the duration is in rounds, reduce it to one round total.
The Knight can also spent a Void Point to gain a CHA bonus on his save against a spell that allows him to do so.
[This can be used instead of SR. A more stable alternative. Protects against permanent effects as well as negative levels lose or ability damage. Effects that last for X rounds will last only for one, giving him solid protection against a lot of spells. Can also gain a bonus on saving throws, to avoid spells that cause death or similar destructive effects]
Perfect Gaze
Change the Dominate Monster effect with this:
As long as the Knight can see a caster he may focus his gaze on him while he is trying to cast, disrupting the process. This action is equivalent of counter spelling and can be used once per round. The Knight is considered to be using Greater Dispel Magic to counter the spell and uses his class level as a caster level
[You add more protection on the Knight, which enables you to other protective abilities. You can simply get protection against all spells, more risky than AMF, but immunities are less fun]
Claws
Reducing other abilities, you can make the claws instead more functional against casters:
When you damage a target that has spell slots or spell-like abilities, you reduce one daily usage of it. The target choses which spell slot or which spell-like ability
[Might not be useful against high level casters, but can be useful against monsters that have one powerful spell-like abilities. Still useful to avoid casters to outnumber the Knight by having more spells than his VP or daily uses. Gives also a reason for the Knight to go to the offensive, rather than killing every non-caster, since he has a lot of defenses against casters]

[sigurd]

Since this guy doesn't need character level feats or magic items to be uber powerful does he still get access to them?


Sigurd

[zenanarchist]

Really like the flavor of this class, but some things need fixing. Good job!

SR 1is just toooo low. Make it at least 10+1/2level+something or 10+level. The breath weapons damage is too low. The 1d6/2 level won't really work. Especially since he already has other powerful abilities that would make breath weapon useless. Make it 1d8/2 levels at least. Or 1d4 per level.

Make it "Greater Dispel" or specify that there is no limit on CL like Dispel Magic.

Reading the description it seems like it is a race or a template. But it is a class that all creatures can use no matter what. I would suggest specifying that it is an order and adding some information about how a creature is initiated in the order. Some sort of ritual maybe? Add some multi-class restrictions (non-spell casters).

Spell Syphon can break the game. Make the Knight be able to cast them until one time (1 minute for example). And specify that the Knight has to have the required class levels to cast the spell (class level equal to caster level for this purpose).
I think he has far too many abilities. You can make some permanent and discard a lot of existing ones. I like them all, but I am guessing that doing everything is kind of bad :). Make him simpler is my suggestion. Breath, gaze, claws, body (armor, flight, other) are kind of enough. Take away void step, summon.
I ll give some suggestions if you don't mind:
Void Points [1 every two levels]
The Knight can open a temporarily portal to the Void altering reality itself. He can do so for every point he has. The points are replenished after 24hours. By spending a single point the knight can instantaneously travel to the Void and come back. This is a free action used once per round. Each spell on the Knight is subject to a Greater Dispel Magic effect using the class level as a caster level. Alternatively, the Knight can use the points to utilize some of his abilities.
[Main defense against spells]
[Now give breath, claws and gaze and etc abilities a cost, so players won't have to have a whole list of available daily abilities. Typically, one point or two for more advance effects. Three-four for other powerful abilities]
Void Body
Spell and spell-like abilities have a reduced duration on the Knight. Substitute rounds for minutes, minutes for hours and hours for day on spell durations. If the effect is permanent, the Knight can try to Dispel it every, as if he used Greater Dispel Magic with his class level as a caster level.
If the duration is in rounds, reduce it to one round total.
The Knight can also spent a Void Point to gain a CHA bonus on his save against a spell that allows him to do so.
[This can be used instead of SR. A more stable alternative. Protects against permanent effects as well as negative levels lose or ability damage. Effects that last for X rounds will last only for one, giving him solid protection against a lot of spells. Can also gain a bonus on saving throws, to avoid spells that cause death or similar destructive effects]
Perfect Gaze
Change the Dominate Monster effect with this:
As long as the Knight can see a caster he may focus his gaze on him while he is trying to cast, disrupting the process. This action is equivalent of counter spelling and can be used once per round. The Knight is considered to be using Greater Dispel Magic to counter the spell and uses his class level as a caster level
[You add more protection on the Knight, which enables you to other protective abilities. You can simply get protection against all spells, more risky than AMF, but immunities are less fun]
Claws
Reducing other abilities, you can make the claws instead more functional against casters:
When you damage a target that has spell slots or spell-like abilities, you reduce one daily usage of it. The target choses which spell slot or which spell-like ability
[Might not be useful against high level casters, but can be useful against monsters that have one powerful spell-like abilities. Still useful to avoid casters to outnumber the Knight by having more spells than his VP or daily uses. Gives also a reason for the Knight to go to the offensive, rather than killing every non-caster, since he has a lot of defenses against casters]

Waargh, I gotta say I loved some of your suggestions. But not all. I want to keep the Knight with a massive array of abilities so he is multifunctional. I was actually considering some more. I loved your claw based idea as well, but I think I'd like to make it an addition to the claws not instead of. (As in he can choose to swap them out), Syphon. Do you really feel it's THAT overpowered? I also think letting the target choose the spells is a bad idea, I'd prefer to let the Knight choose which spells were lost. Spell casters have a multitude of "throw away" spells. And by the time the Knight got through the bad junky ones, the caster will have slaughtered him.

[zenanarchist]

Since this guy doesn't need character level feats or magic items to be uber powerful does he still get access to them?


Sigurd

Sigurd, could you re-phrase or explain? Do you mean I've failed to put in where he gets extra feats? I think he should be entitled to them. Wizards are uber powerful and still get them so I don't see why he wouldn't be allowed. I'd even consider letting him craft his own arms and armour in the light of "to hunt a monster you must become the monster". He should even have knowledge of crafting scrolls.

Any opinions on this?

[sigurd]

Wizards direct magic which is highly adaptable and powerful. Other than that they get 6 feats over 20 levels and 2 skill points per level. They have the worst BAB and only have one good save.

By inaccurate rough count your class gets 57 feat entries and 4 skill points per level with the best BAB and an additional good fort save. Your class has potentially %150 more hp than the wizard as well.
Your class doesn't cast spells but it routinely alters reality to step into and out of the 'void'. I assume the void has no dangers for them. Unlike spellcasters who focus on learning something this class has no purpose of its own except to kill spellcasters.

If you want to oppose the wizard, focus on his\her magic and its inherent weakness. This class is an over powered solid brick with the excuse of being about wizards.

None of the classes should be built so that they will always win without risk or strategy. The game is about what you accomplish with daring and cleverness.

This class has no weakness. This is very unbalanced.


Just my .02

[jiriku]

I second sigurd's observations. Individually, all the abilities are good, but collectively, the class is beginning to lose focus.

Here's a thought: you've got so many powers, many of which have limited uses per day and require an action to activate. Simplify.

For example, anti-magic burst and void warp have the same radius, activation cost, uses per day, and general purpose. Why not add the void warp effect to the anti-magic field at level 17 and add one additoinal use per day? Likewise, you could do something similar with tendrils of the void and void storm. This lets you do the same stuff, but you have fewer powers to remember, fewer pools of uses per day to keep track of, and fewer activation costs to pay to get all that stuff out there. You can adjust bonuses, penalties and damage appropriately to account for the increased power of being able to activate several effects at once.


Also:
Something is wrong with your table on level 17.
You need to list the action type required to activate void warp and void distortion.

[zenanarchist]

Sigurd, Jiriku-

I agree with you (on some points). But one of the fighters main downfalls was that they had dead levels. Many dead levels. I wanted something unique to the class to make the player feel they were getting something at -every- single level.

Also, the mage has upwards of what.....70-ish? "abilities" via their spells. But the player remembers what the spell is, what it does, and it's duration.

I more than concur with your analysis of the situation, however, I would ask for a solution on filling the dead levels if I combine some of the abilities? I want this fighter to have as much of the action pie as a wizard gets, not simply "I things, I hit things again". I want variety, action, multi round effect abilities and massive mage stalking that are just applicable in regular fights as well as those with mages.

So, in conclusion, I'm more than happy to combine the abilities as long as I can cover those dead levels.