The order of the scribble 2: how to not defend the gates

[King of Nowhere]

This just came to me last nigth shortly before sleeping, and amused me enough to make me post it.
I always tought at the order of the scribble like some sort of good opposites of the ootsers, and was wondering in the case that the ootsers split up to each defend one gate, except Belkar who is dead. To keep the parallel, I assume that Haley (oots equivalent for serini) will defend a gate for Belkar (died, oots equivalent of the dead kraagor).
so

- Belkar's gate will be built under a dungeon filled with small white housecats, to reflect his belief in the power of those silent, clawed engines of destruction.
- Durkon's gate will be defended by the vilest, strongest, most terrible creatures our cleric could ever conceive: tha trees (no, I'm not talking about treants or such. Just plain ordinary trees).
- Elan's gate will be hid behind the most clever illusions HE could devise. To honor his dashing swordsmanship, there will be a magic mouth insulting everyone getting near.
- To reflect his believe in hiring a party of adventurers to undertake a quest, Roy will try to defend the gate with parties of adventurers. To get the most help possible, he will put great effort in spreading the voice about the god-killing abomination that could, when controlled, let an evil guy dominate the world. wink wink
- faithful to his believe in HIS magical migth, V will choose to defend his gate all by himself, refusing any kind of help.

Haley will then record the location of the gates in a diary, and will sell it for a quick profit.

This is NOT a theory, just some stupid idea I got. And it's not even a speculation on how to defend a gate, for this reason I'm not posting this there.

[Ancalagon]

This is NOT a theory, just some stupid idea I got.

Rubbish! It's one of the most entertaining and fitting theories I read for a long time on this forum!

[licoot]

AWESOME

[Barstro]

- Durkon's gate will be defended by the vilest, strongest, most terrible creatures our cleric could ever conceive: tha trees (no, I'm not talking about treants or such. Just plain ordinary trees).

There is no way that Durkon would allow those evil trees to get near the gate. I agree that he would have the trees doing the main protection, but he would still devise a way to keep them back from the rift by positioning the rift on an island surrounded by a moat of the most vile poison known to dwarf; non-dwarven ale.

[Beorn080]

There is no way that Durkon would allow those evil trees to get near the gate. I agree that he would have the trees doing the main protection, but he would still devise a way to keep them back from the rift by positioning the rift on an island surrounded by a moat of the most vile poison known to dwarf; non-dwarven ale.

I suspect that the gate itself will be in the shape of a mug, and the mug will be filled with fine dwarven ale. That way, they'll be too busy drinking to conquer the world. Maybe enchanted with Everfull.

[Teddy]

There is no way that Durkon would allow those evil trees to get near the gate. I agree that he would have the trees doing the main protection, but he would still devise a way to keep them back from the rift by positioning the rift on an island surrounded by a moat of the most vile poison known to dwarf; non-dwarven ale.

Moose urine? That sounds disgusting but not deadly.

[Dr.Epic]

With my freeze ray I will stop the world snarl. It's not a death ray or an ice beam.

[King of Nowhere]

I got a new idea for Roy: having learned from his father, he swears some kind of blood oath to protect the gate and bugs his sons about it.
His sons will be first level commoners

[LuPuWei]

I got a new idea for Roy: having learned from his father, he swears some kind of blood oath to protect the gate and bugs his sons about it.
His sons will be first level commoners

And therefore his mission will be to reproduce as often as he can, for the rest of his life!

[Capt Spanner]

With my freeze ray I will stop the world snarl. It's not a death ray or an ice beam.

Stand back everyone, nothing here to see.
Just imminent danger in the middle of it me.
Captain Spanner's here, hair blowing in the breeze
The snarl needs my saving expertise

[Phishfood]

Stand back everyone, nothing here to see.
Just imminent danger in the middle of it me.
Captain Hammer's here, hair blowing in the breeze
The snarl needs my saving expertise

A Dwarfs gotta do what a Dwarfs gotta do.
Seems destiny ends with me saving you.
the only doom thats looming is inside this saphire
So I'll give you a sec to get some beer.

[Dr.Epic]

A Dwarfs gotta do what a Dwarfs gotta do.
Seems destiny ends with me saving you.
the only doom thats looming is inside this saphire
So I'll give you a sec to get some beer.

It’s a brand new day
Yeah the sun is high
All the angels sing
Because you’re gonna die
Go ahead and laugh, yeah
I’m a funny guy
Tell everyone goodbye
It’s a brand new day

[Capt Spanner]

Back on topic:

This theory stupid idea is absolutely brilliant.*


*Warning! Link leads to TVtropes.

[guolin]

And therefore his mission will be to reproduce as often as he can, for the rest of his life!

*sigh* Time to summon Celia again.

[Procyonpi]

This thread is made of Win. One of the epicest parodies I've seen in a long time.

[Connington]

Alternatively:

: Roy will try to protect construct a clever dungeon full of clever traps, choke points to defend Kraagor's gate, and guarded by a corps of loyal single class fighters. And every time he's about to put the finishing touches on it, one of the other PCs will come for a visit and accidentally destroy everything.

: Haley... Well, no one knows what Haley will do to defend the Azure City gate, but it certainly won't involve wasting good sapphires to no purpose. A girl's got to eat you know!

: After Durkon gets done despoiling his homeland as some form of mindless undead, the others will lock him in Dorukon's dungeon to defend that gate.

: V will publicize his deeds and location, then wait for the horde of Black Dragons to descend on him. If he survives, it's off to Grugwiggler, to commission an army of Dragon Golems to defend Lirian's gate.

: Elan will make no effort what so ever to defend Girard's gate. Genre conventions state that no one will stumble across it until the appropriate time, after which nothing he could do would have any effect.

: Since Belkar won't be around much longer due to circumstances that mysteriously create a sixth gate, it'll fall to Scruffy to defend it. He joins up with the ghost of Lord Shinjo that was floating around in Belkar's head. And together, They Fight Crime.