Best idea ever that a DM has shot down.

[Vitruviansquid]

In this thread, share the best ideas you've ever had or heard that the DM shot down immediately.

Mine is:

The party is trying to gain entrance into a lone cabin in the forest. The door is barred from the inside, so the rogue can't pick the lock, and there are no windows on any side. We can't burn our way in, for fear of harming the defenseless, kidnapped children inside we're supposed to rescue.

Solution: Have the dwarven paladin strip butt naked, grease him up, and slip him down the chimney.

Shot down on the grounds that: it would traumatize the children inside for life.

[FelixG]

Situation: We know there is this BBEG lieutenant staying in this Inn, nothing special about it particularly and we have to get in and kill him to stop an invasion fleet from leaving the harbor the following morning.

Solution: His window is open on the third floor, we plan to use crossbow bolts with a rope ladder attached between them to get the rogue up the wall and into the bedroom.

Outcome: The bolts bounce harmlessly off the wall that, beneath the masonry, appears to be made completely of adamantium ~.~

Reasoning: Because bypassing all of his guards in the first two floors of the Inn with tactics and planning was "cheesy"

[Escheton]

This thread's titel makes me want to buy a nerfgun to replace the dmg-doken with.

And my plans are usually allowed, mostly because the dm knows that I didn't expect that and so never plan beyond the pitch. And as such they sorta just crumble under the weight of having to actually flesh out the plan.

[Eldan]

Outcome: The bolts bounce harmlessly off the wall that, beneath the masonry, appears to be made completely of adamantium ~.~

Reasoning: Because bypassing all of his guards in the first two floors of the Inn with tactics and planning was "cheesy"

Solution: take over the inn and sell it's walls for millions to the next dwarven smith coming by.

[Vitruviansquid]

Situation: We know there is this BBEG lieutenant staying in this Inn, nothing special about it particularly and we have to get in and kill him to stop an invasion fleet from leaving the harbor the following morning.

Solution: His window is open on the third floor, we plan to use crossbow bolts with a rope ladder attached between them to get the rogue up the wall and into the bedroom.

Outcome: The bolts bounce harmlessly off the wall that, beneath the masonry, appears to be made completely of adamantium ~.~

Reasoning: Because bypassing all of his guards in the first two floors of the Inn with tactics and planning was "cheesy"

Wouldn't a crossbow bolt actually also bounce off of normal masonry? <_<

[genericname]

BBEG was a spellcaster. So my caster blew up his component bag... POOF! no spells. DM said no because we would have then proceeded to pound him into a slightly gooey paste with no trouble.

[Manga Maniac]

Situation:
DM: Rocks fall, everybody dies.

Solution:
Me: I attempt to dodge the rocks. *rolls a natural 20*

Shot down because:
DM: You can't avoid the rocks...

[Spider_Jerusalem]

Oh well, I can see my players ranting here.

I'm really lucky, by the way. I started playing a kender bard with a maxed bluff check, and he wishes to become the most legendary adventurer he can imagine. I don't really need to accomplish any weird plan to get the credit for it in-game.

[kaptainkrutch]

Situation: Pirates are going to raid the ship.

Solution: Sneak onto the pirate ship and blow up their gunpowder stash.

Outcome: A colossal dragon skeleton swoops down from the sky and destroys the pirate ship. It flies off, never to be seen again.

Reasoning: Who knows?

[Heliomance]

Doesn't quite follow the pattern, but I once asked my DM if I could take a level of Commoner as there was this flaw I wanted. His immediate response? "No, you may not have infinite chickens."

I made sad face.

[Kaww]

We were lvl 1 party fighting an ogre. I had no weapon since I just woke up.

DM:"What do you do?"

Me:"What do I do naked, with an ogre standing there in front of me? I grab his testicles."

DM: "?" Flips few pages, thinks, few more pages. I cant find in here, but I'm sure it is banned.

That was the beginning of a series of called shots against the sad, later mutilated and dead ogre and his testicles. Yes, the whole party was trying to hit him in the groin.

[Kaww]

Situation: We know there is this BBEG lieutenant staying in this Inn, nothing special about it particularly and we have to get in and kill him to stop an invasion fleet from leaving the harbor the following morning.

Solution: His window is open on the third floor, we plan to use crossbow bolts with a rope ladder attached between them to get the rogue up the wall and into the bedroom.

Outcome: The bolts bounce harmlessly off the wall that, beneath the masonry, appears to be made completely of adamantium ~.~

Reasoning: Because bypassing all of his guards in the first two floors of the Inn with tactics and planning was "cheesy"

Sorry for double post.

This is pure gold. If you did this to me I'd give you double xp for the whole building. You gained a lot of experience by pulling this of if you pull it of and nobody hears you.

[Defiant]

Situation: I was holding on to a dragon's wing (going up and down) that was flying away, because I was trying to get at the unconscious damsel in distress being held by a bad guy riding the dragon.

Solution: Let go of the wing just at the moment it goes upwards so that my momentum takes me to the "middle" of the dragon, where the bad guy is so that I can save the damsel.

Outcome: Just at that moment, the dragon decides to "move forward" slightly (i.e. accelerate) such that I'm not longer anywhere near it and can't even grab a tail or anything.

Reasoning: It was clearly a scripted encounter. Everything that we tried to get at this damsel ultimately failed for some reason or other. Including an overrun attempt from me being impossible because "he's holding a katana right in front of you". Even when I went *through* the katana anyways (taking lots of extra "internal" damage), I still was just short of reaching the damsel.

[Marnath]

Wouldn't a crossbow bolt actually also bounce off of normal masonry? <_<

Yes, yes it would...

[FelixG]

Wouldn't a crossbow bolt actually also bounce off of normal masonry? <_<

Normal stone has a hardness of 8, heavy crossbow does 1d10 + whatever magical enhancement, so it will merely bounce off most of the time. :P

[Reynard]

Window frames are made of wood, even in stone houses.

[Xefas]

Situation: Our merry band of Solars, one crafting focused, one social skills focused, and one medically focused, all with a tiny tiny bit of combat charms, are in over our heads with a Dusk Caste Abyssal, armed to the teeth and decked out with every goddamn Abyssal melee charm in the book, it would seem. Diplomacy has failed. Oh, also he has a pair of zombie ninjas to help him (I love Exalted). Our crafter is down to like 2 health levels, and I have a nonfunctional leg and maybe 3 health levels left.

Solution: I attempt to stunt using my Solarness to reach out and grab the fabric of Creation, as it is distended in the Wyld, and spin it around real fast to make everyone in the whole world (including this Abyssal) dizzy, so we can get an unexpected attack off against him.

Outcome: No.

Reasoning: No.

[Marnath]

Window frames are made of wood, even in stone houses.

He obviously missed the window frame then, eh?

[Snake-Aes]

Window frames are made of wood, even in stone houses.

They are also not designed to hold a person's weight, tho a halfling or gnome could pull it off.

Not that it wouldn't be easier to use a grappling hook... They're weighed anyway, and could be hurled above the whole place and climbed just the same.

[Crasical]

I had this happen in reverse, The 'best idea ever' that I wanted the players to try but they refused to do for sane and logical reasons.


Situation: There are kobolds with crossbows taking cover at the far end of a long hallway that they have strewn with barrels to prevent charges. They have just triggered a simple trap that has created a cloud of flour to blind everyone standing in the doorway.

Solution: Barbarian charges down the hallway and expends his greataxe attack on a barrel, smashing it to get it out of his way. I roll randomly. Full of lamp oil. He makes his balance check and prepares to continue his attack next turn, shouldering through the crossbow bolts. I turn to the wizard. "The front of the hall is now in a cloud of semi-explosive suspended flour. The back of the hall is now a pool of lamp oil. You wanted to cast burning hands, right?"

Outcome: He decided not to cast burning hands.

Reasoning:Unleashing a massive, apocalyptic firestorm to wipe out the kobolds was well and good, but he might hurt the barbarian.

I still remember it as the greatest explosion that never was.

[BumblingDM]

Oh Crasical, I think you just made Micheal Bay cry.

[TechnoScrabble]

I wanted to run a mission where the players fought 12 badgers, 2 myconids, and a snake, but the players wouldn't let me.

[Jalor]

Today's session wasn't my best, but it's right up there.

Situation: We are pirates, and the party leader sold my wizard into slavery to buy ballistae for the ship. I was not pleased, and escaped immediately. I Alter Self'd into a Lizardfolk and ripped the party leaders throat out while he slept. I turned invisible to escape, but unfortunately a cabin boy blocked the only way out and I had to hide under the bed. He found the body before I could slip away, and the cleric found me with a Detect Magic. I pretended to surrender, then pulled out a paper enchanted with twelve iterations of Explosive Runes and threatened to sink the ship if they tried to kill me without letting me explain myself. The cleric used Command to make me drop the paper, and I rolled a natural 1 on the save. The ranger picked up the paper, and I convinced him that destroying it would cause it to go off; right now it was still my biggest bargaining chip. The rest of the party doesn't really care that I had a good reason to seek revenge, and remember that they'd really wanted to keel-haul someone.

Solution: The weather was bad enough that the ranger had to help the helmsman steer the ship. The ranger still had my bomb tucked into his tunic. I use Abrupt Jaunt to get away from the rogue with a dagger at my throat, then Dispel Magic the bomb and intentionally fail the caster level check. The ensuing blast would kill both ranger and helmsman with no save, and destroy the wheel, leaving the party helpless in a storm. With my move action, I leap off the side of the boat and swim away thanks to Heart of Water.

Outcome: The DM vetoed my plan. Instead, I was directed to use my other Alter Self to turn into something with better strength and a faster swim speed, and flee. I did that, escaping to become an NPC and likely a miniboss later on.

Reason: The DM had already rolled for the storm to intensify and produce a waterspout. My plan would result in a near-TPK, killing everyone but me and ending the adventure since my character isn't directly involved in the plot.

[Tokuhara]

Situation: Our final fight againstthe BBEG: a mummy lord with class levels. For some reason, none of us can roll higher than a 6 with melee or ranged. So I, an Anubite (homebrew Jackal People) Wizard/Exalted Arcaist, decide to end this party with a bang.

Solution: Our party Catfolk Monk, (who's speed was insane!!!) with all of his wisdom, decided to run around the mummy, pouring lamp oil around the jerk, then casting Burning Hands on the oil

Reaction: The oil was "too old" an didn't burn

Reasoning: Since the Mummy Lord was flammable, he didn't want to ruin the final fight

[Kaun]

BBEG was a spellcaster. So my caster blew up his component bag... POOF! no spells. DM said no because we would have then proceeded to pound him into a slightly gooey paste with no trouble.

Your a caster and you really want to draw attention to the whole "called shot on spell components" thing?

[Yukitsu]

Your a caster and you really want to draw attention to the whole "called shot on spell components" thing?

Shows him right for not carrying 5.

[Kaun]

Shows him right for not carrying 5.

yeah i would let it swing as a DM but the next mini boss they fought would include a magic missle mage who would be making called shots on spell component pouch the pc's reached for.

[The Pressman]

I had this happen in reverse, The 'best idea ever' that I wanted the players to try but they refused to do for sane and logical reasons.


Situation: There are kobolds with crossbows taking cover at the far end of a long hallway that they have strewn with barrels to prevent charges. They have just triggered a simple trap that has created a cloud of flour to blind everyone standing in the doorway.

Solution: Barbarian charges down the hallway and expends his greataxe attack on a barrel, smashing it to get it out of his way. I roll randomly. Full of lamp oil. He makes his balance check and prepares to continue his attack next turn, shouldering through the crossbow bolts. I turn to the wizard. "The front of the hall is now in a cloud of semi-explosive suspended flour. The back of the hall is now a pool of lamp oil. You wanted to cast burning hands, right?"

Outcome: He decided not to cast burning hands.

Reasoning:Unleashing a massive, apocalyptic firestorm to wipe out the kobolds was well and good, but he might hurt the barbarian.

I still remember it as the greatest explosion that never was.

I actually did that once. It was in a module and the kobolds pulled a string to release flour to hide our view. I cast produce flame, and threw the fire in. It knocked me and the others in the line of fire to 4 HP, but it did kill 5 kobolds, 8 rats, and pissed off a dire weasel. Along with destroying the treasure.

[Yukitsu]

yeah i would let it swing as a DM but the next mini boss they fought would include a magic missle mage who would be making called shots on spell component pouch the pc's reached for.

Target's gotta be a creature. Chain shatter is the lowest I can think of to mass get them all, except the hidden ones.

[Snake-Aes]

yeah i would let it swing as a DM but the next mini boss they fought would include a magic missle mage who would be making called shots on spell component pouch the pc's reached for.

People like to conveniently ignore their weaknesses. Much of a wizard is disabled by snatching/sundering that pouch.