Stat the donkey (3.5)

[Balor01]

Somehow, somewhere I stumbled upon this pic:


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and I just love it. And it made me make a NPC character for my campaign. An elven princes who really likes adventuring and usually sneaks off into the wild, while being cute and cuddly and having -10 on track checks and -20 on knowledge (nature) checks, but +22 on knowledge (makeup) checks, so her father, The Elven king obtained this donkey who's only task is to protect the princess.
Now I was thinking of a permanently polymorphed dragon, but such a donkey should have some badass spellcasting ability in order to protect the girl from all the +20-init-I-fire-my-crossbow-+20-+15-+12-+10-for-8d8+45-dmg. (Contingency items?)Consider her a lvl 1 elf expert.

How could one most effectively protect the little miss Sunshine?

[Another_Poet]

She's a level 1 expert and she's going to be adventuring into places where 20th level archer types hang out? Yeah she'll need some help.

First off I'd consider giving her a few levels in Artistocrat instead. I mean she doesn't have tobe 1st level to be a newb, she can be 4th or 5th and just have all her levels and ranks in noncombat stuff. Just having the extra HD will increase survivability.

Second I love the pic. Mules are actually pretty badass on their own (I realise this is a donkey, not a mule, but still). I had a succession of characters in one game who all died but the battle-trained mule Jacquelyne outlived them all and was passed from one new character to the next. Jacquelyne was used as a source of cover, as a wall to block a 10' wide passage against a swarm of monsters, as a charging mount, a beast of burden, and an independent combatant/flanking partner. A lot of hit points compared to a 2nd level character, and multiple attacks per turn.

If you want to give the donkey the stats of some other creature, I recommend one of these two.

Dragonne. Impressive creature, human level intelligence (though low; tweak as needed), it has Pounce; houserule that its Roar ability does not affect Princess Peach and you can successfully outrun many overwhelming threats just by leaving them fatigued. It's rather funny that this thing can Track even though the Princess has no idea where she's going. It's CR7 which is a good level for a "protector" type for a low-level princess, or scale up as needed.

For flavour, I like that it has above average Wis but an Int of 6. This could counterbalance the princess nicely. It's wiser but she's smarter. She's naive and isolated but she knows all sorts of history, lore, and facts that the mule doesn't know. Both of them feel superior in some way. There could be a lot of fun bickering sessions between them a la pretty much every anime ever.

Avoral. I used this as a summon to save my 7th level wizard's butt in a solo fight against Strahd from Expedition to Castle Ravenloft. This has the perfect combination of abilities to serve as the protector of a solo adventurer: it can heal her; it can fly (tho you could cut that out for flavour purposes or just make it a "special" thing that only happens in desperate circumstances - she may not even know the mule can do it); it has Detect Magic & Trueseeing to notice things she doesn't; a variety of defensive buffs; it has AoE spells for when she's outnumbered; it can Dispel; and it can even Speak with Animals! perfect really, with the only drawback being it might outshine her. Then again if you put her at 1st level maybe that's what you want.

For flavour this Outsider could easily be the spirit of some mighty protector beast, creature of the gods, or ancient demon who's been forced intto mule form to serve Good to pay its penance. Pretty classic, especially if the Princess is completely convinced that she is a great adventurer and that their victories are due to her - again, a nice set up for humour.

ap

[subject42]

If you're the DM and can pull some shenanigans. Claim that it was the subject of a maximized, empowered Awaken spell, then give it levels in Psion.

[Greenish]

If you're the DM and can pull some shenanigans. Claim that it was the subject of a maximized, empowered Awaken spell, then give it levels in Psion.

Or have a psion pull True Mind Switch on it.

As a bonus, you then also have a very confused donkey running around in (most likely) a humanoid body.

[TheThan]

I remember the pimp my mule thread. So let me see if I can recall anything specific,

Horse shoes of the zephyr
Enchanted saddlebags of holding.
Some sort of enchanted golden tooth.

So anyway I like the idea of the donkey here being an awakened animal with class levels. Maybe a fighter type focusing in using his natural attacks, as it would be hard for an animal with hooves to be able to cast spells.

[Morph Bark]

Dang, I thought I had saved Serpentine's contest thread that was all about these asses... but yeah, you could grab stuff from there, if you can find it (or if someone else provides the link).

[subject42]

As a bonus, you then also have a very confused donkey running around in (most likely) a humanoid body.

Preferably the body of the King's vizier, who isn't very happy about his current assignment.

[Adumbration]

Or have a psion pull True Mind Switch on it.

As a bonus, you then also have a very confused donkey running around in (most likely) a humanoid body.

Spoiler

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Oh yes. I can so imagine how pissed and grumpy the psion must be.

"Huh, where did the princess go? And why is her donkey still here?"
"Listen to me carefully."
"Bwuuuuuuuuhhh? You can talk?"
"I can rip your brains out through your nostril. That is, if you lay a finger on her."
>.<

[thompur]

Just make him like Zazoom from the old Arabian Knights cartoon. Just pull his tail and ten second later, all the bad guys are taken out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2pk8abjeLo

[Admiral Squish]

I love this, so, so much.

I strongly vote for the donkey being a true mindswitched psion. Said psion also is the king's adviser and has managed to be 'volunteered' to this job repeatedly. Wackiness ensues as the psion saves princess over and over, only to further strengthen her belief that she's the most awesome adventurer ever, and thus encouraging more trips.

I aslo like the idea of the equipped donkey. Zephyr horseshoes, Glamered invisible barding, saddlebags of holding, enchanted gold teeth/horseshoes...

...I wonder if that glare has any kinda effect. 'Induce puty' or something.

[Elfin]

Psion sounds quite good, I think, but I must admit I'm partial to the "flying donkey" idea...

Anyway, that's a great pic.

[Greenish]

Psion sounds quite good, I think, but I must admit I'm partial to the "flying donkey" idea...

Psionic Overland Flight.

[Flickerdart]

He could just be a very high-level Phantom Steed. Who looks like a donkey.

[nargbop]

Donkey needs levels in Knight Protector and Defender of Sealtiel.
"WHY CAN'T WE HIT HER SHE JUST KEEPS TRIPPING"

[Balor01]

@Adumbration
Exactly.

After all the contemplation, I decided to go with a psion. It should be also super fun, because there is a stupid evil character in our group, who will surely want to gain some XP from all this, no matter what.

Tnx for all the help.

[Wonton]

Oh yes. I can so imagine how pissed and grumpy the psion must be.

Cause he has a hot elf princess on top of him. I'm sure he's very displeased.

Psion sounds quite good, I think, but I must admit I'm partial to the "flying donkey" idea...

Shrek 1?

[Serpentine]

After all the contemplation, I decided to go with a psion. It should be also super fun, because there is a stupid evil character in our group, who will surely want to gain some XP from all this, no matter what.

Aww. I was hoping something from my thread would get some use Ah well, at least it got a mention...

[Morph Bark]

Aww. I was hoping something from my thread would get some use Ah well, at least it got a mention...

I don't suppose you could link to it anyway? I kind of lost the link and really liked that thread.

[Balor01]

@Serpentine
Well, this will be more of a fun exercise (DM Fiat) then mechanics-at-its-best. It will start with sort of contingency (If attacked-force field activates), then with psionic equivalent of dominate person where donkey dominates all PCs and miss Princess "rides them down" (no dmg, donkey just orders them to drop when hit and then maybe she loots some shiny stuff and they ride off into the sunset. Giggling. ).

[Serpentine]

So was mine

I present to you, The Ass.
I draw your attention particularly to the Smart Ass. Though the Donkey God made me think it'd be kinda funny to have this girl riding on a deity, and eventually gaining a couple of levels of Favoured Soul of that deity.