[3.5]Improved Monster Classes- Still Alive, and taking requests!

[Gorgondantess]

Hmmm. Well, I can't really do anything right now, as I'm just about to go to bed, but just wanted to check this thread before I did so and... Makiru. Wow. I'd forgotten about the inanity of the Roving Mauler. Why, oh why, did you have to remind me of that?
Anyways... I really don't want to have to review that. I will, but I don't want to.

[Kobold-Bard]

Glad to see that this is still going on in lieu of the original creator's absence. I haven't abandoned the Roving Mauler, for those of you who care; real life and school just kinda got in the way for a while. It is mostly finished, though, and I hope to have it posted for review by the end of the week.

EDIT: Finished and ready for review

Roving Mauler

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{table]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Feature
1|+1|+1|+1|+0|Roving body, Lesser tumbling attack, +1 Str, +1 Dex
2|+2|+2|+2|+1|Fast Healing, powerful rotations, +1 Str, +1 Dex
3|+3|+3|+3|+1|Spell Resistance, Tumbling attack, +1 Str, +1 Dex[/table]

HD: d10
Skill points: 2 + Int modifier
Class skills: Balance, Climb, Jump, Listen, Search, Spot, and Tumble.

Class Features:
Roving Body: The roving mauler loses all racial bonuses and becomes a Medium Magical Beast. Roving maulers cannot speak, but understands Common.
Despite its unusual shape, the roving mauler has access to all magic item slots, but cannot wield manufactured weapons (with the exception of mouthpick weapons) or shields.
It gains darkvision 60 ft, low-light vision, immunity to poison and disease, and the scent ability.
It has a base land speed of 30 feet and a climb speed of 10 feet.
It has a primary claw attack that deals 1d8+Strength modifier damage.

A roving mauler has two faces, granting it all-around vision (unable to be flanked) and a +4 bonus to Spot, Search, and Listen checks.

In addition, a roving mauler is constantly in motion, even if it appears to be standing still. It has a natural armor bonus equal to its Dex modifier.

Ability boosts: The roving mauler gains a +1 bonus to Strength and Dexterity at each level.

Lesser Tumbling Attack (Ex): The primary strategy for a roving mauler is to run over opponents rather than stand still. As a full-round action, the roving mauler can move its speed and move through the space of any creature its size or smaller, making a single claw attack against each enemy. Any creature whose space the roving mauler passes through can make an opportunity attack, which can be negated with a DC 25 Tumble check. A successful attack of opportunity or a failed Tumble check does not stop the mauler's attack or movement unless it is brought down to 0 HP or lower.
No matter how many times the roving mauler moves through a creature's space, it can only make one claw attack per round per creature.

Fast Healing (Ex): At 2nd level, the roving mauler's high metabolism kicks into overdrive, granting it fast healing equal to 1/2 its HD.

Powerful Rotations (Ex): Also at 2nd level, the roving mauler starts moving at an even faster rate. Its land and climb speeds both increase by 10 feet, and again at every three levels (5th, 8th, 11th, 14th, 17th, and 20th) . In addition, it gains a racial bonus to Tumble checks equal to 1/2 its HD.

Spell Resistance (Su): At 3rd level, the roving mauler can rotate with such velocity that magic sometimes bounces right off it. It gains spell resistance equal to 7+HD.

Tumbling Attack (Ex): The roving mauler can use its tumbling attack against enemies of any size.
Double the damage dice of any claw attack made during a tumbling attack.(Ex: 1d8+4 becomes 2d8+4)
Attacks of opportunity made against the roving mauler during a tumbling attack are made at a -4 penalty.

I thought my request had been forgotten. Thank you very much, this will definitely be making an appearence as an NPC in my monster game

re: Titan. Once I get to work I'll change the Titan Hammer Tech to Titan Battle Style and make it work with all oversized weapons. I wasn't that attached to it, it was purely to keep some of the old fluff.

[Makiru]

I thought my request had been forgotten. Thank you very much, this will definitely be making an appearence as an NPC in my monster game

Happy to be of service. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have done this if it wasn't a request...you know, because it's such a dumb monster. I guess I just took your request as a challenge and went with it.

As to be in line with the new rules, I won't start on a new project until this one has been fully critiqued and finalized.

Also, I'm sorry, Gorg.

EDIT: The one thing that I'm really not sure of is the Dex as natural armor. Making it Con just didn't feel right, and I wanted to accentuate the fact that the roving mauler is constantly in motion, even if it doesn't seem like it is.

[Kobold-Bard]

Happy to be of service. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have done this if it wasn't a request...you know, because it's such a dumb monster. I guess I just took your request as a challenge and went with it.

As to be in line with the new rules, I won't start on a new project until this one has been fully critiqued and finalized.

Also, I'm sorry, Gorg.

EDIT: The one thing that I'm really not sure of is the Dex as natural armor. Making it Con just didn't feel right, and I wanted to accentuate the fact that the roving mauler is constantly in motion, even if it doesn't seem like it is.

Well I appreciate it. If I ha ToM right now I would have done it myself.

[AugustNights]

Svirfneblin

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Hit Dice: d8
{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|

+0

|

+2

|

+2

|

+2

| Deep Body, Whispers, Utterdark [/table]
Skills:4+int modifier per level, Class skills are The Svirfneblin’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Search (Int), Spot (Wis) and Survival (Wis).

Proficiencies: Svirfneblin are proficient with simple weapons, and light armor, but not with shields.

Class Features:
Deep Body(Ex): The Svirfneblin loses all other racial bonuses, and gains the Humanoid (Gnome) type and subtype, small size, 120 foot darkvision, low-light vision, and a base land speed of 20 feet. It also gains a racial bonus equal to half its HD on hide checks, while underground as a full round action it may double this bonus.

Gnomish Willes: At first level the Svirfneblin paragon gains 1/3 its HD as a racial bonus as a dodge bonus to AC (Round Down, Min 1) and to the DCs on Illusion Spells and Effects cast by the Svirfneblin. Svirfneblin may notice unusual stonework merely by approaching 10 feet of it.The Svirfneblin can make a Search check as though actively searching, and can use the Search skill to find stonework traps as a rogue can. A svirfneblin can also intuit depth, sensing the approximate distance underground as naturally as a human can sense which way is up.

Utter-Dark: The Svirfneblin gains Spell resistance equal to 11 + its HD. At 5 HD the Svirfneblin gains a constant Nondection like ability. The Svirfneblin is always treated as if he had the spell of the same name cast on him, with caster level equal to his HD.

Whisper: The Svirfneblin gains the following Spell-Like abilities the Svirfneblin can use each SLA a certain number of times per day depending on its HD. Saves are 10+1/2HD+Wis mod.

Disguise Self, 1/day per HD
Blindness/Deafness, 1/day for each 3HD (Starting at 3HD)
Blur, 1/day for each 3HD (Starting at 3HD)

A Chump’s Twopence:

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Potent little baddies, hard to see them as CR 1, but I can make do.
Considering stealing blatantly borrowing the '3 of many options' from the Duergar.

Edit 1: Not married to Fort Save, but it does cover a psudo-con bonus. Improved attack against goblinoids. Would like to keep a healthy and improvable bonus to Saves and AC, as that those were a major difference between the Svirfneblin and the Gnome. Tried my hand at 1/3 HD, because 1/4 HD is too slow and 1/2 HD is too fast. Thoughts?

Edit 2: Added Good Reflex Save, bonus to Hide Checks, specified rounding, and added a scaling bonus to illusions that covers both the Gnomish Natural bonus and Svirfneblin's +4 Racial bonus to Spell like abilities.

Edit 3: If saves were a snake they would have bit me, and removed goblinoid hatred.

[Gorgondantess]

'Hokay. Let's see here...
Ettin: Under Brain Spread, specify what "losing a head" does. Once you do that, it's on the list. Good job.
Oh, wait- when do you get brain spread? It's listed twice.

Nimblewright: Ooookay... I think I went a little overboard with that. Construct type, full BAB, some good saves, +2 stats a level, and actual skill points? Something must be done!
Scrap the good reflex saves- you already have the bonus to reflex saves, just put that earlier.
Either scrap the full BAB, or scrap the strength bonuses.

Also, clean up the table. Put the abilities you get in the text in the order you get them in the table, capitalize, make sure the names match, etc.
Specify tripping thrust works on creatures not subject to criticals.

Feral: It should still get improved grab before rake.

Roving Mauler: WHY? DEAR GOD WHY?
*ehehm* Anyways.
Natural armor is based off of constitution.
...And how the f*ck can that thing climb? Please tell me that that wasn't in the book and Makiru is just insane. Please.
Anyways, other than that, looks good. Well, not good, but... mechanically OK?

AstralConstruct: ...That is brilliant.
Anyways.
No class skills.
3/4 BAB.
Should get all bad saves.
In return, you give it the choice to take abilities to change this: one will change the saves to good, one will give it full BAB, the works. Maybe give it an ability only chosen at level 1 to give it a choice from a few list of class skills to choose from.
Also, now that we're going the "build a monster" route, why not diversify? First things first, let it gain ANY ability score every level. However, specify that it cannot gain the same ability score twice in a row- thus, you're limited to a maximum of +5 to two abilities.
For the growths, I'd advise you start at medium, and let it either:
Go down one size.
Go up one size.
Gain the powerful build ability
or
gain the slight build ability.
Both slight & powerful build, of course, can only be gained once.
Now for abilities:
Scrap the first fly ability.
Specify deflection doesn't stack, and slash the C deflection ability to +6. Otherwise, we're looking at that getting really silly really quick.
PLAs! For A, let it choose a 1st level PLA to cast once/day per HD.
For B, let it choose a 2nd level PLA to cast once/day per 2 HD.
C? 3rd level 1/day/3 HD, and if that was already taken at least once, then a 4th level PLA 1/day/4 HD.
Give it an ability to change the material of its DR. Seriously, magic is crap.
Have smite be once every 10 minutes, and let it add its charisma bonus to the attack. No reason not to.
Give it an ability in... B for psionic multiclassing. Y'know, the same kind of thing that ogre magi or succubi get.
Make concussion at will, as a swift action.
Scrap muscle, change it to +2 to one physical ability score.
Finally, see how it's 3 of A, 3 of B, then 4 of C? Let's round it off and say 3 of each... then one from menu selection D, as a capstone. I'll let you have fun with that one.
Anyways, most of those are just suggestions- it could go on the list just out of the box.

Snivverbeblingnomethings:
+1 to attack rolls against kobolds and goblinoids? Lame. I always hated that ability. By all means, keep it if you want, but... Lame.
No 1.5x dex to AC, no .5x wisdom to saves.
Go ahead and let disguise self be 1/day/HD, but increase blur to 1/day/3 HD, and no "minimum one" on them. They don't get 2nd level SLAs until third level.
And why fort saves? I'd think reflex or will, but... well, if you insist.
Otherwise, looks okay.

[Temotei]

'Hokay. Let's see here...
Ettin: Under Brain Spread, specify what "losing a head" does. Once you do that, it's on the list. Good job.
Oh, wait- when do you get brain spread? It's listed twice.

Done and fixed, though I think the wording could be a little better on brain spread. Basically, the spell works as normal, but to a limited degree, since it only affects one head and one arm.

...Maybe I should just say that.

Nimblewright: Ooookay... I think I went a little overboard with that. Construct type, full BAB, some good saves, +2 stats a level, and actual skill points? Something must be done!
Scrap the good reflex saves- you already have the bonus to reflex saves, just put that earlier.
Either scrap the full BAB, or scrap the strength bonuses.

Also, clean up the table. Put the abilities you get in the text in the order you get them in the table, capitalize, make sure the names match, etc.
Specify tripping thrust works on creatures not subject to criticals.

Replaced vulnerabilities with inner energies on the table, switched no escape with liquid armor, and took away the Strength bonuses and good Reflex progression.

On the table: The standard format for a table is to capitalize the first word in each row. That was already done. It should be fixed now that inner energies is in there, though. I couldn't find any inconsistencies other than that.

Oh, and sorry for posting two without getting critique for the first. I was on a spree...it was 5:00 a.m.

[Niezck]

Okay, changed. Is the Winged okay as well?

[monkman]

Niez there was a post where he said it was oked

[Niezck]

Mkay, must've missed that. Thanks.

Now then, what to work on next ...

[monkman]

Mkay, must've missed that. Thanks.

Now then, what to work on next ...

i think both of us should take some time off
1st you still have to finsh the treant
second there lot of creature(about 5-6(i think)) and i think we should let some time for gorgond to rate them

[Gorgondantess]

Done and fixed, though I think the wording could be a little better on brain spread. Basically, the spell works as normal, but to a limited degree, since it only affects one head and one arm.

...Maybe I should just say that.

SPECIFY. What does losing one head do? Tell us what happens when one head is dazed- what do they lose, etc. Then go on to tell us what happens if one head is, say, shaken. Make it simple. Never make it so that it would be better in any way, shape or form if they were hit twice as opposed to once.

Replaced vulnerabilities with inner energies on the table, switched no escape with liquid armor, and took away the Strength bonuses and good Reflex progression.

Class skills? Define "attack" in body of alacrity. Also, just a little pet peeve of mine: I prefer even scores by the end of the class than odd. Just saying. >.>

On the table: The standard format for a table is to capitalize the first word in each row. That was already done. It should be fixed now that inner energies is in there, though. I couldn't find any inconsistencies other than that.

But the format is for abilities is the book title method: all words but "of" and "a" and such are capitalized. And everything in your table is abilities.

Oh, and sorry for posting two without getting critique for the first. I was on a spree...it was 5:00 a.m.

Oh, it's fine. I can work with it. I've just had no time to work on my own projects.

Okay, changed. Is the Winged okay as well?

Quite.

i think both of us should take some time off
1st you still have to finsh the treant
second there lot of creature(about 5-6(i think)) and i think we should let some time for gorgond to rate them

Done and done, go ahead and keep on going. Just don't FLOOD me.

Oh, and if anyone thinks theirs is done but it's not in the table, or they didn't get credit in the table, tell me. If I've missed anyone, tell me.

[Temotei]

SPECIFY. What does losing one head do? Tell us what happens when one head is dazed- what do they lose, etc. Then go on to tell us what happens if one head is, say, shaken. Make it simple. Never make it so that it would be better in any way, shape or form if they were hit twice as opposed to once.

Ah. I thought you meant just for brain spread.

I suppose, since brain spread only works against mind-affecting spells and effects, the ettin would be normally affected by dazing, stunning, dazzling, etc. Do you think each head should be more separate (as in, brain spread granting more defenses)?

Class skills? Define "attack" in body of alacrity. Also, just a little pet peeve of mine: I prefer even scores by the end of the class than odd. Just saying. >.>

I'll put Charisma bonuses on odd levels. Would you suggest taking out one Dexterity bonus to make it +6 at the end?

But the format is for abilities is the book title method: all words but "of" and "a" and such are capitalized. And everything in your table is abilities.

I must have missed that. I'll change it for all three.

Darn. I hate that format so much.

Oh, it's fine. I can work with it. I've just had no time to work on my own projects.

I'll wait until my three are good to make more. I don't see any I'd particularly enjoy making, anyway, except maybe the shadow. I'm not calling dibs, though.

[Lord_Gareth]

Oh, and if anyone thinks theirs is done but it's not in the table, or they didn't get credit in the table, tell me. If I've missed anyone, tell me.

My name needs to be next to every monster. 'Cause I'm a time-traveling badass like that.

[Makiru]

Roving Mauler: WHY? DEAR GOD WHY?
*ehehm* Anyways.
Natural armor is based off of constitution.
...And how the f*ck can that thing climb? Please tell me that that wasn't in the book and Makiru is just insane. Please.
Anyways, other than that, looks good. Well, not good, but... mechanically OK?

All the abilities I gave it (except the scaling Tumble bonus) are right out of the book. It's a pretty strange creature, but you knew that from the picture. I suspect it has something to do with the "five feet in a wheel pattern" thing.

Like I said before, the natural armor thing was the one aspect that I was still a bit uncomfortable with since it was a deviation of the standard building rules that had been established. I'd hoped I could flavor it in a way that made sense; I even considered making it lose the NA if it didn't move at least five feet a round. I'll go ahead and fix that right away in the post.

[Vauron]

Thunderbird

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Hit Dice: d8
{table=head]Level|Base Attack <br> Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|

+0

|

+2

|

+2

|

+0

|+1 STR +1 CON, Body of Thunder, Soul of Sparks

2nd|

+1

|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|+1 STR, Stormchild, Wings

3rd|

+2

|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|+1 STR +1 CON, Soul of Thunder

4th|

+3

|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

|+1 STR, Fury of the Storm, Flyby Attack

5th|

+3

|

+4

|

+4

|

+2

|+1 STR, Growth, Thermal Protection

6th|

+4

|

+5

|

+5

|

+2

|+1 STR +1 CON, Sharpsight

7th|

+5

|

+5

|

+5

|

+2

|+1 STR , Soul of the Storm

8th|

+6

|

+6

|

+6

|

+3

|+1 STR, Multiattack

9th|

+6

|

+6

|

+6

|

+3

|+1 STR +1 CON, Growth

10th|

+7

|

+7

|

+7

|

+3

|+1 STR, Snatch, Stormwings

11th|

+8

|

+7

|

+7

|

+4

|+1 STR, Soul of the Tempest

12th|

+9

|

+8

|

+8

|

+4

|+1 STR +1 CON, Nature's Fury
[/table]
Skills: 4+Int modifier, x4 at first level. The Thunderbird's class skills are Listen, Spot, Survival, Knowledge(Nature), and Intimidate

Body of Thunder:The thunderbird loses all other racial bonuses and gains magical beast traits (basicaly darkvision 60 feet and lowlight vision). It's a medium sized magical beast with base speed 20 feet. It has two claw attacks dealing 1d6 +str damage each and one bite attack dealing 1d8 +str damage. A thunderbird has a natural armor boost to ac equal to its CON modifier. A thunderbird doesn't have limbs capable of fine manipulation.

Soul of Sparks: The Thunderbird can cast Obscuring Mist, Endure Elements, and Shocking Grasp as SLAs twice a day for each HD it has. Unless otherwise noted, all Thunderbird SLAs have the DC 10+1/2 HD+CHA.

Ability Score Increases: The Thunderbird gains 1 STR at each level in this class, and gains 1 CON at levels 1, 3, 6, 9, and 12. After taking all 12 levels of Thunderbird, the total ability score increase is +12 STR and +5 CON.

Stormchild: The Thunderbird has sonic and electrical resistance equal to its HD.

Wings: The Thunderbird has a fly speed of 10 ft per HD (Good).

Soul of Thunder: The Thunderbird can now use Gust of Wind, Sound Burst, and Shatter once per day for each HD it has.

Fury of the Storm: The Thunderbird gains a SLA called 'Thunderous Weapon', which functions as the spell Magic Weapon, only it grants the Thunderous effect instead of an enhancement bonus +1d6 electrical damage and it may affect all natural weapons granted by the Thunderbird class with a single Thunderous Weapon SLA. He may use Fury of the Storm 1/day for every three HD he has.

At 9HD, Fury of the Storm becomes equivalent to Greater Magic Weapon for the purposes of bonuses and duration. The SLA uses the Thunderbird's HD for any effects related to caster level; it offers the Thunderous Burst effect and +1d6 electrical damage where it would grant any enhancement bonuses after the first.

'Thunderous Weapon' is for all intents and purposes an enhancement bonus and therefore does not stack with other enhancement bonuses. Only the best bonus applies. (Each +1d6 electrical damage is equivalent to a +1 bonus, and Thunderous Burst is equivalent to a +2).

Flyby Attack: The Thunderbird gains Flyby Attack as a bonus feat.

Growth: The Thunderbird grows one size category at 5 HD, 9 HD, and 15 HD.

Thermal Protection: The Thunderbird has fire and cold protection equal to 1/2 its hitdice.

Sharpsight: +3 to Spot, penalties to spot are -1 per 30 ft, instead of the normal -1 per 10ft. Sharpsight counts as Skill Focus (Spot) for the purpose of qualifiying for feats and classes.

Soul of the Storm: The Thunderbird can now cast Call Lightning, Fog Cloud, and Shout once per each 2 HD the Thunderbird has.

At 9 HD, Call Lightning upgrades to Call Lightning Storm, Fog Cloud upgrades to Solid Fog and Shout upgrades to Greater Shout.

Multiattack: The Thunderbird gains Multiattack as a bonus feat.

Snatch: The Thunderbird gains Snatch as a bonus feat.

Stormwings: The thunderbird can not be blown away by winds weaker than a tornado, and the thunderbird does not take penalties to Spot or Listen due to inclement weather

Soul of the Tempest: The Thunderbird can now cast Chain Lightning, Commune with Nature, and Freedom of Movement once per each 3 HD the Thunderbird has.

Nature's Fury: The Thunderbird can cast Earthquake, Control Weather, and Whirlwind once per each 6 HD the Thunderbird possesses.

At 17 HD, the Thunderbird can cast Storm of Vengeance once for per 10 HD each day.

Comments

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Here is the Thunderbird. When I was making it, my intention was basically a giant lightning bird who was going to eat your face, with the SLAs to help deal with cases where "I attack" or "I pick up the target and climb high enough to deal 20d6 to the mook when I drop him" aren't appropriate. Not sure how well I succeeded with that.

The SLAs I added that aren't on the base creature, (endure elements, commune with nature, etc, etc) were largely inspired by the fluff of 'embodiment of nature's fury' and 'worshiped as a nature spirit'.

Fury of Nature is largely the same as the Frost Giant's Frostbite, and Body of Thunder is heavilly based on the Phoenix's Phoenix body. The latter doesn't bother me, though I wish I could have thought of something better.

What I'm unsure of is balance, while it'll be difficult to get magic items for the Thunderbird, and the fact that it can't handle fine manipulation, I'm unsure if I threw too much on the class. I dropped down the BAB to average, and gave it a bad will save to help balance the class, but I'd like another opinion.

Changelog:

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10/4/10: Posted
10/5/10: Skills and HD added

[AugustNights]

Snivverbeblingnomethings:
+1 to attack rolls against kobolds and goblinoids? Lame. I always hated that
ability. By all means, keep it if you want, but... Lame.

Improved?

No 1.5x dex to AC, no .5x wisdom to saves.

Changed.

Go ahead and let disguise self be 1/day/HD, but increase blur to 1/day/3 HD, and no "minimum one" on them. They don't get 2nd level SLAs until third level.

Done

And why fort saves? I'd think reflex or will, but... well, if you insist.

No instance really, I figured Fort would be a good replacement of Con bonus. I'm honestly not married to it. I think reflex would be more appropriate than will, if not Fort. But like I said, not married.

Other Subject:
The Living Spell, Propositions to make it playable.

1) I want to remove a lot of the class abilities. Anima makes many of the levels not dead in my opinion.

2) Further I propose that either it be:
~Designed with individual spells in mind. (As the Lycanthrope template was), ~A series of 'Tracks.' For example the 'Hand' track, 'Fire Track,' 'Illusion Track,' 'Words Track' and 'Alignment Track.'
~ Restricted to Spells of the Same Descriptor until a high level, and then perhaps allowed to remain from the same school.

3) Restrict relearn, make it more difficult to become a new spell, but still allow for it.

4) Ignore Metamagic. This thing's powerful enough on its own.

5) Otherwise follow the model of the Gel-cube (As posted by Kobold-Bard)

Edit Living Spell Re-updated


Thoughts?

[Magicyop]

Ahh... I'm gonna have to give up on Derro. Every time I try it just ends up being vanilla and uninteresting. I'm not sure how to fit its abilities into just three levels.

[Kobold-Bard]

Ahh... I'm gonna have to give up on Derro. Every time I try it just ends up being vanilla and uninteresting. I'm not sure how to fit its abilities into just three levels.

Because the Pseudodragon is only one level long I just gave I an ability called Advancement and said what it gained at later HD. Not ideal but if you can't fit everything in then let it get them later.

[AustontheGreat1]

Thunderbird

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Thunderbird
{table=head]Level|Base Attack <br> Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|

+0

|

+2

|

+2

|

+0

|+1 STR +1 CON, Body of Thunder, Soul of Sparks

2nd|

+1

|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|+1 STR, Stormchild, Wings

3rd|

+2

|

+3

|

+3

|

+1

|+1 STR +1 CON, Soul of Thunder

4th|

+3

|

+4

|

+4

|

+1

|+1 STR, Fury of the Storm, Flyby Attack

5th|

+3

|

+4

|

+4

|

+2

|+1 STR, Growth, Thermal Protection

6th|

+4

|

+5

|

+5

|

+2

|+1 STR +1 CON, Sharpsight

7th|

+5

|

+5

|

+5

|

+2

|+1 STR , Soul of the Storm

8th|

+6

|

+6

|

+6

|

+3

|+1 STR, Multiattack

9th|

+6

|

+6

|

+6

|

+3

|+1 STR +1 CON, Growth

10th|

+7

|

+7

|

+7

|

+3

|+1 STR, Snatch, Stormwings

11th|

+8

|

+7

|

+7

|

+4

|+1 STR, Soul of the Tempest

12th|

+9

|

+8

|

+8

|

+4

|+1 STR +1 CON, Nature's Fury
[/table]


Body of Thunder:The thunderbird loses all other racial bonuses and gains magical beast traits (basicaly darkvision 60 feet and lowlight vision). It's a medium sized magical beast with base speed 20 feet. It has two claw attacks dealing 1d6 +str damage each and one bite attack dealing 1d8 +str damage. A thunderbird has a natural armor boost to ac equal to its CON modifier. A thunderbird doesn't have limbs capable of fine manipulation.

Soul of Sparks: The Thunderbird can cast Obscuring Mist, Endure Elements, and Shocking Grasp as SLAs twice a day for each HD it has. Unless otherwise noted, all Thunderbird SLAs have the DC 10+1/2 HD+CHA.

Ability Score Increases: The Thunderbird gains 1 STR at each level in this class, and gains 1 CON at levels 1, 3, 6, 9, and 12. After taking all 12 levels of Thunderbird, the total ability score increase is +12 STR and +5 CON.

Stormchild: The Thunderbird has sonic and electrical resistance equal to its HD.

Wings: The Thunderbird has a fly speed of 10 ft per HD (Good).

Soul of Thunder: The Thunderbird can now use Gust of Wind, Sound Burst, and Shatter once per day for each HD it has.

Fury of the Storm: The Thunderbird gains a SLA called 'Thunderous Weapon', which functions as the spell Magic Weapon, only it grants the Thunderous effect instead of an enhancement bonus +1d6 electrical damage and it may affect all natural weapons granted by the Thunderbird class with a single Thunderous Weapon SLA. He may use Fury of the Storm 1/day for every three HD he has.

At 9HD, Fury of the Storm becomes equivalent to Greater Magic Weapon for the purposes of bonuses and duration. The SLA uses the Thunderbird's HD for any effects related to caster level; it offers the Thunderous Burst effect and +1d6 electrical damage where it would grant any enhancement bonuses after the first.

'Thunderous Weapon' is for all intents and purposes an enhancement bonus and therefore does not stack with other enhancement bonuses. Only the best bonus applies. (Each +1d6 electrical damage is equivalent to a +1 bonus, and Thunderous Burst is equivalent to a +2).

Flyby Attack: The Thunderbird gains Flyby Attack as a bonus feat.

Growth: The Thunderbird grows one size category at 5 HD, 9 HD, and 15 HD.

Thermal Protection: The Thunderbird has fire and cold protection equal to 1/2 its hitdice.

Sharpsight: +3 to Spot, penalties to spot are -1 per 30 ft, instead of the normal -1 per 10ft. Sharpsight counts as Skill Focus (Spot) for the purpose of qualifiying for feats and classes.

Soul of the Storm: The Thunderbird can now cast Call Lightning, Fog Cloud, and Shout once per each 2 HD the Thunderbird has.

At 9 HD, Call Lightning upgrades to Call Lightning Storm, Fog Cloud upgrades to Solid Fog and Shout upgrades to Greater Shout.

Multiattack: The Thunderbird gains Multiattack as a bonus feat.

Snatch: The Thunderbird gains Snatch as a bonus feat.

Stormwings: The thunderbird can not be blown away by winds weaker than a tornado, and the thunderbird does not take penalties to Spot or Listen due to inclement weather

Soul of the Tempest: The Thunderbird can now cast Chain Lightning, Commune with Nature, and Freedom of Movement once per each 3 HD the Thunderbird has.

Nature's Fury: The Thunderbird can cast Earthquake, Control Weather, and Whirlwind once per each 6 HD the Thunderbird possesses.

At 17 HD, the Thunderbird can cast Storm of Vengeance once for per 10 HD each day.

Comments

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Here is the Thunderbird. When I was making it, my intention was basically a giant lightning bird who was going to eat your face, with the SLAs to help deal with cases where "I attack" or "I pick up the target and climb high enough to deal 20d6 to the mook when I drop him" aren't appropriate. Not sure how well I succeeded with that.

The SLAs I added that aren't on the base creature, (endure elements, commune with nature, etc, etc) were largely inspired by the fluff of 'embodiment of nature's fury' and 'worshiped as a nature spirit'.

Fury of Nature is largely the same as the Frost Giant's Frostbite, and Body of Thunder is heavilly based on the Phoenix's Phoenix body. The latter doesn't bother me, though I wish I could have thought of something better.

What I'm unsure of is balance, while it'll be difficult to get magic items for the Thunderbird, and the fact that it can't handle fine manipulation, I'm unsure if I threw too much on the class. I dropped down the BAB to average, and gave it a bad will save to help balance the class, but I'd like another opinion.

You should put the name of the creature outside of the the box above the picture. Also the class still needs skills and HD.

Looks like wings come a bit to early. It states that it can be given earlier if the creature has crippling drawbacks (no limbs) but the thunderbird also gets 3 natural attacks at first level, and ranged attack capabilities later so maybe you should put the flight further up.

I think that the abilities should come before the stat increases on the table, but that is just a nitpick. I just think it looks neater.

Again another nitpick but the abilities look a little plain. Maybe you should embellish them a little, add flavor text describing why the thunderbird has the ability or how the ability looks. I don't know, it is just another pet peeve of mine that helps the class look neater.

I have to go to work now, I didn't get a chance to read the abilities or whatever so I guess someone else will have to comment on the balance stuff.

[Gorgondantess]

Ah. I thought you meant just for brain spread.

I suppose, since brain spread only works against mind-affecting spells and effects, the ettin would be normally affected by dazing, stunning, dazzling, etc. Do you think each head should be more separate (as in, brain spread granting more defenses)?

There are MA effects that daze. Just... spell it out.

I'll put Charisma bonuses on odd levels. Would you suggest taking out one Dexterity bonus to make it +6 at the end?

Something like that.

I must have missed that. I'll change it for all three.

Darn. I hate that format so much.

Standardizing format eez eemportant.

My name needs to be next to every monster. 'Cause I'm a time-traveling badass like that.

Oh, obviously. Of course, in that case, you can just travel to the eventuality in which you're credited for all the monsters. I'll get around to it. Eventually.

Improved?

ELIMINATED!

Changed.

Better. Specify how it's rounded.

No instance really, I figured Fort would be a good replacement of Con bonus. I'm honestly not married to it. I think reflex would be more appropriate than will, if not Fort. But like I said, not married.

Whatever works for you. 2 good saves would be fine.
Anyways, why no bonus to illusion or hide?

1) I want to remove a lot of the class abilities. Anima makes many of the levels not dead in my opinion.

Tsk. Class abilities are a good thing.

2) Further I propose that either it be:
~Designed with individual spells in mind. (As the Lycanthrope template was), ~A series of 'Tracks.' For example the 'Hand' track, 'Fire Track,' 'Illusion Track,' 'Words Track' and 'Alignment Track.'
~ Restricted to Spells of the Same Descriptor until a high level, and then perhaps allowed to remain from the same school.

The second one, definitely the second one.

3) Restrict relearn, make it more difficult to become a new spell, but still allow for it.

No. Tracks- it progresses to a specific more powerful spell as it goes on it.

4) Ignore Metamagic. This thing's powerful enough on its own.

Not necessarily: if you're going to be tracks, metamagic would be fun & cool.

Edit Living Spell Re-updated


Thoughts?

I think you should make a separate class for each track. It's too hard impossible to balance if you can just choose any spell.

Ahh... I'm gonna have to give up on Derro. Every time I try it just ends up being vanilla and uninteresting. I'm not sure how to fit its abilities into just three levels.

I'll do it, in that case.

And,
Thunderbird:
Balance it against the phoenix.
Fury of the Storm needs rewording.
Anyways, it's kinda boring- just a bunch of SLAs on a big flying thing, as well as some other very situational abilities. Do something interesting with it... I'll look at it more in depth later.

[AugustNights]

ELIMINATED!

Urhm... shwat?

Better. Specify how it's rounded.

Done.

Whatever works for you. 2 good saves would be fine.
Anyways, why no bonus to illusion or hide?

Balance. And because I forget that this sucker dosn't have a base race.
Done.

Tsk. Class abilities are a good thing.

The second one, definitely the second one.

No. Tracks- it progresses to a specific more powerful spell as it goes on it.

Not necessarily: if you're going to be tracks, metamagic would be fun & cool.

Doable. Time of course will be needed.
Most likely a bunch of different level classes, as that the tracks I have constructed often end before 9th level.
Thank you.

[Gorgondantess]

Urhm... shwat?

Eliminate the bonus to attacks against small subterranean creatures. It's just silly.
Also, here's an idea: for balance reasons, rather than giving it a misc bonus to saves, just give it all good saves.

[AugustNights]

Eliminate the bonus to attacks against small subterranean creatures. It's just silly.

Mmm, not terribly important but I like it. Still, not married to it, and deleted as requested.

Also, here's an idea: for balance reasons, rather than giving it a misc bonus to saves, just give it all good saves.

Because that would be simple. Obviously. Fixed.

[Vauron]

Looks like wings come a bit to early. It states that it can be given earlier if the creature has crippling drawbacks (no limbs) but the thunderbird also gets 3 natural attacks at first level, and ranged attack capabilities later so maybe you should put the flight further up.

If that is the case, than the Phoenix is also in need of being looked at, since Body of Thunder and Wings are both essentially copypasta (with the exception of basing NA off of CON instead of CHA) from the Phoenix. I take "no limbs" to mean no limbs capable of fine manipulation. I can throw some fluff on the abilties, sure.

Gorgondantess:
As to rewording Fury of the Storm, yeah, I'll probably just scrap it and come up with some other ability to help the Thunderbird in melee. I wasn't happy with it in the first place. Give me a day or two to think of something beyond adding Magic Weapon to its list of SLAs.

Also, as far as balance is concerned, is it in need of being nerfed, in addition to being less dull, or should I buff it some? I'm not to confident in my ability to determine balance.

Random possible thoughts: ability to throw up a windwall for a single turn as a move action? maybe link the melee attack boosting ability to call lightning? Maybe a charge-like ability that basicly turns it into a lightning bolt spell?

[monkman]

Evolved undead

Prerequisite: Need to be undead and at least lv 7
Special: the evolved undead can be tooken as many time as it is wanted
{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Special

1st|

+0

|

+0

|

+0

|

+2

|Evolved undead body,Sla Fast healing,+1str,+1cha [/table]

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Evolved Undead Body: A Non incorporeal evolved undead gains natural armor equal to his Strength score. If it already has natural armor it gains 1 additional point. the non incorporeal evolved undead also gets+1 str and +1 cha
If the undead is incorporeal it gains 1 deflection bonus to ac instead of natural armor and +1 charisma.


SLA
It also gains SLA. It can use the Sla once per 3 HD per day. These sla are charisma based.
Sla usable

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1st level of Evolved undead
Cone of cold, Confusion, Contagion, Creeping doom, Greater dispel Magic ,Greater Invisibility, haste, hold monster, see invisibility, unholy blight
9HD
Cloudkill
11HD
circle of death

Fast healing. It gains fast healing equal to 1/2 it's HD .If it already has fast healing, it gains another point of it.(+1)

suggestions? and it's from libris mortis

[Draken]

Plenty of suggestions.

First, list the HD (d12), second, list the Skill points (2+int, no class skills).

Third. Scaling. Give the spell-like-abilities scaling daily uses. I recommend once per day per four HD, for reasons to come. Make Fast Healing Scale.

Fourth. Spell-like abilities. As is it gives the impression you get them all, which is just plain insane. No, really, it is. One SLA of your choice per class level.

Fifth, and most importantly. Not a single level. Evolved Undead can be taken over and over, as such, nothing better than giving it a few levels (I recommend 10) and balancing after that.

Sixth: Formatting, formatting, formatting, formatting. Did I already say formatting?

----

For those of you still waiting for the Atropal... Wait a bit more. My computer fried. ._.

[Gorgondantess]

Well, he did have scaling fast healing and SLA uses, but other than that, what Draken said.
Also, specify what happens for incorporeal, as it does in the actual template.
Also, I wouldn't give it ten levels, I'd make it one level that you can take over and over; give it +1 fast healing if it already has fast healing.
Most importantly? Formatting. Dear god, formatting. Also, are you going to abandon the chronotryn?
Oh, and make sure they can't get SLAs unless they have enough levels. I'm looking at circle of death & cloudkill: they shouldn't be accessible until 11th and 9th levels, respectively.

[Niezck]

Soulspark

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HD: D8
Skills: Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Sense Motive and Spot
Skill Points: 4 + Int mod (X4 at first level)

Weapon and Armour Proficiencies: A Soulspark is only proficient with its Soul Blast.

{table=head]Level|BAB|Fort|Ref|Will|Class Feature
1|+0|+0|+2|+0|Soulspark Body, Soul Blast, Alignment, +1 Cha
2|+1|+0|+3|+0|Incarnum Shroud, +1 Dex
3|+2|+1|+3|+1|Evasion, +1 Cha
4|+3|+1|+4|+1|Resistant Soul, +1 Dex
5|+3|+1|+4|+1|Soul Limb, +1 Cha
6|+4/+1|+2|+5|+2|Soul's Majesty, +1 Dex
7|+5/+2|+2|+5|+2|Soul Perfection, +1 Cha, +1 Dex[/table]

Soulspark Body: A Soulspark loses all other racial traits and bonuses and becomes a tiny Outsider with the Incarnum and Native subtypes. It has a base land speed of 20 ft and a fly speed equal to 5ft/HD with perfect maneuverability.

A Soulspark has no limbs to perform fine manipulation with, nor can it speak. It can manipulate objects to the extent of pushing them. It can communicate telepathically with a range of 10ft/HD.

A Soulspark cannot be affected by critical hits and can never be flanked. It gains a deflection bonus to AC equal to its charisma score.

Soul Blast: (Su)
As a Soulspark lacks any form of natural attack and cannot wield a weapon, it utilizes another weapon. At 2nd level, a Soulspark may, in place of a regular attack, release a Soul Blast. This is a ranged attack with a range of 30ft + 5ft/HD that deals 1d6 + charisma modifier damage. The Soulspark may use iterative Soul Blasts as though it were a manufactured weapon . Using this ability does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

For every 2 HD the Soulspark has, the damage is increased one step as shown. (1d6, 1d8, 1d10, 1d12, 2d6, 3d6, 4d6, 5d6, 6d6, etc). Beyond 6d6, the damage continues to increase by a single d6 for each step.

A Soulspark may take the Improved Natural Attack feat for this attack. It is treated as a natural attack in all regards.

Alignment:
At 1st level, a Soulspark must choose an alignment from Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral and Chaotic Neutral. Any alignment-dependant ability gained by the Soulspark has a component opposite to the non-neutral component of the Soulspark's alignment.

For example, a Neutral Good Soulspark that later gains the Resistant Soul ability would gain DR/Evil.

Ability Increases:
At 2nd, 4th, 6th and 7th levels, the Soulspark gains a permanent +1 to its dexterity score. At 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th levels the Soulspark gains a permanent +1 to its charisma score.

Incarnum Shroud: (Su)
As a being of pure incarnum, a Soulspark gains an essentia pool equal to its HD. At 2nd level, it can use this essentia in a number of ways, with more available as it increases in HD. These abilities are shown below.

The Soulspark may invest its essentia points into the following abilities to a limit of 1/2 its HD into any one ability. Re-arranging essentia is a swift action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity. Essentia remains stored until the Soulspark re-arranges it. The Soulspark has access to all Incarnum Shroud Powers on the list below of the level it can use. The maximum level of a useable Shroud Power is equal to the Soulspark's level.

{table=head]Level|Shroud Power
1|Soul Might
1|Soul Magic
2|Soul Defence
2|Soul Blasting
3|Soul Healing
4|Soul Grace
5|Soul Strength
6|Soul Deception
7|Mighty Soul[/table]

Incarnum Shroud Powers:

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Soul Might
The Soulspark gains an insight bonus on attack and damage roles equal to the amount of essentia invested.

Soul Defence
The Soulspark gains an insight bonus on AC equal to the amount of essentia invested.

Soul Healing
The Soulspark gains Fast Healing equal to twice the amount of essentia invested.

Soul Magic
The Soulspark gains the ability to use a single first level wizard/sorcerer or cleric spell for each two points of essentia invested. This is a Spell-Like Ability with a caster level equal to the Soulspark's HD. The Spell-Like Ability is useable at-will while the essentia is invested. For each additional four points of essentia invested, the level of the spell useable may be increased by one. For all purposes, the save DC is equal to 10+1/2HD+Cha modifier.

Soul Blasting
The Soulspark's Soul Blast ability has its damage die increased by one point for each three points of essentia invested.

Soul Grace
The Soulspark gains an insight bonus on saves equal to the amount of essentia invested.

Soul Strength
The Soulspark's Soul Limb slam attack increases by one step of damage for each two points of essentia invested.

Soul Deception
The Soulspark becomes affected by a permanent Invisibility spell as long as two points of essentia remain invested. By investing an additional six points, this improves to Greater Invisibility and by investing another six points on top of that (14 total), this improves to Superior Invisibility.

Mighty Soul
For every three points of essentia invested, the Soulspark gains a +1 insight bonus to its Charisma score.

Evasion:
At 3rd level, the Soulspark gains evasion, as the Monk ability.

Resistant Soul:
At 4th level, a Soulspark gains DR equal to half its HD. This is bypassed by attacks of an opposed alignment.

Soul Limb: (Ex)
At 5th level, a Soulspark gains the ability to extend a portion of itself in a hand-like fashion. It gains a single slam attack dealing 1d2+Strength mod damage. It also gains the ability to manipulate objects as if it had a regular humanoid hand. It may not wield weapons or carry objects with this limb but it may open doors, activate magic items and otherwise perform as normal.

Soul's Majesty (Ex)
Drawing from its lifetimes of experience, the Soulspark gains becomes more aware of the world around it. It gains the benefit of a permanent Arcane Sight spell. At 14HD this improves to a permanent Greater Arcane Sight.

Soul Perfection:
At 7th level, a Soulspark gains the choice of two abilities:
Soul Incarnate:

Spoiler

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At 7th level, a Soulspark becomes a true incarnation of incarnum. It gains meldshaping, essentia and all other class features of an Incarnate with a level equal to its Soulspark Level-2. However, it gains the ability to bind soulmelds to its soul and heart chakras only and can bind to these chakras immediately. If its Soul Limb is manifested, it may also bind to its arm and hand chakras.

The Soulspark cannot take levels in a meldshaping-advancing prestige class to improve this, nor can it take levels in Incarnate itself. Any essentia gained from its Incarnum Shroud ability must be used entirely for those abilities and essentia gained from its effective Incarnate level can only be used for Incarnate abilities.

Soul Manifestation:

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At 7th level a Soulspark transforms into the final stage of soul rebirth. It gains the ability to take on a physical form a number of times per day equal to its HD. This ability has a duration in minutes equal to twice the Soulspark's charisma modifier. Transforming is a free action.

When the Soulspark transforms, it is as the spell Alter Self except with the changed duration, casting time and increase to strength as detailed below. Additionally, it may take the forms of humanoid creatures. The Soulspark loses its Soul Shroud, Soul Limb and Resilient Soul class features along with its deflection bonus to AC while it is transformed.

Additionally, it gains an increase to its strength score equal to 1/4 its HD (min 1) while transformed, as it finds it now has use of muscles and tendons.

When the Soulspark transforms it becomes wrapped in blue-white incarnum light that shrouds its body, giving the effect of clothing.

Comments:

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Since the original Soulspark has very little beyond its soul blast and incarnum shroud abilities, I had to create the later stuff from scratch. The only thing I'm really unsure about is the capstone allowing access to heart and soul chakras immediately. But then I figured, you're a floating ball of energy that has to limit itself (that is, use ALL of its racial essentia) just to talk and manipulate objects, so having some pretty sweet soulmelds won't break things too badly I don't think.

[monkman]

Well, he did have scaling fast healing and SLA uses, but other than that, what Draken said.
Also, specify what happens for incorporeal, as it does in the actual template.
Also, I wouldn't give it ten levels, I'd make it one level that you can take over and over; give it +1 fast healing if it already has fast healing.
Most importantly? Formatting. Dear god, formatting. Also, are you going to abandon the chronotryn?
Oh, and make sure they can't get SLAs unless they have enough levels. I'm looking at circle of death & cloudkill: they shouldn't be accessible until 11th and 9th levels, respectively.

i am going to abandon the chronotryn, i dont think that im able to make a spellcaster,heck i dont think i ever made a arcane spellcaster(D&D3.5),(i play everthing but arcane spellcasters.) also i changed a bit of the evolved undead but it seems that the Non incorporeal evolved undead is a bit stronger.