Goblins; secret death machines!

[Flail_master]

Ok so basically, goblins are now some of the most deadliest things i've seen in our games

why you may ask? somehow, two have taken down 3 PC's that were level 3-4
and have now outright killed my level 5 dwarf barbarian who i only just recently got an avatar for

story is i charged a goblin in the first room of a small dungeon, intending for the outright kill, we're level 5, these guys took one hit most of the time
so he takes his AoO... Nat 20, ok not so bad, could just be a crit-... Nat 20

...wonderful, i have just been killed by faceless goblin number 3, the DM said he basically broke my neck in a panicked swing upwards to my jaw as i charged in for the kill

(Disclaimer: by no means am i saying they're always awesome, im just saying this out of their reputation for good rolls in our games)

so now my topic i intended, Playgrounders, what are your experiences of unexpected creatures being surprisingly deadly, monsters with reputations in your games, pathetic deaths, or just shenanigans

Flail_master

[darkpuppy]

I've always had incredibly bad luck with Bulettes, with them TPKing a party twice its CR in one case, a mated pair hurting the party bad enough that they had to cause an avalanche for the chance to run away, and, in every case I've introduced them, they've killed *somebody*, except (get this for irony) for my first Dark Sun campaign, where they killed a mated pair with ease.

I have also humiliated proud players from several groups with kobolds, but I consider that more of a DM victory than bad luck with encounters...

[Cieyrin]

I'll tell the tale of my Half-Elf Swashbuckler, bastard son of an elven merchant prince. The party included a Ranged Scout, who is a major part of the reason I tell this tale.

We were in some tunnels, which were haunted by a tribe of Trogs. We were setting up an ambush when a party of them comes out of a side tunnel and promptly charges into us. My character thinking himself more than a match for poorly trained bipedal lizards without the good sense to use armor or weapons, I step into the breach against the beasts. Two of them begin a grapple against me, pulling me down to the ground.

Now here is where the Scout comes into the tale. Seeing me in trouble, he determines the best way to help is to shoot one of them off me. He Skirmishes, he shoots, he crits! The DM rolls to see who gets shot, as odds were, since there was two of them and one of me, he was going to hit one of the trogs. The dice rolled, and the target became me. He rolled max damage. I he took me from full hit points to deader than a doornail.

So, I was struggling against with my captors when my friend comes up and promptly shoots me through the throat and I die instantly. The trogs look up from my unmoving corpse to the archer, who looks plain shocked. They look at each other, shrug, drop my corpse and attack him.

So, morale of the story: Don't shoot into a grapple unless you have Improved Precise Shot! It's the only friendly fire rule in the game, please try not to invoke it!

[The Dark Fiddler]

Tales of surprisingly strong creatures in my game? The death machine is no other than us PCs! We've taken down or sent running several creatures far above the intended CR for us (as in, so far ahead that the XP tables would say we get no XP), mostly legitimately. I say legitimately, because my DM has a habit of coming up with reasons to reroll bad rolls on both sides ("Oh, your grapple check was a 2? Well... defenders have to roll first, so that doesn't count!," and "Huh... those damage dice for this guy rolled all minimum? That's no challenge... the dice got stopped by the crack in the table, don't count."), though it more or less evens out. But yeah, we're unstoppable killing machines, apparently.

Unless this shadow or these ghouls kill us, of course.

[Lateral]

My god... the toad of doom.

It was an ordinary-looking toad. We all assumed it was just background scenery. IT'S CR 1/10! HOW COULD WE HAVE KNOWN!

...Okay, so our DM had a toad in the scenery. We were going to walk by it, but the barbarian felt like skooshing it. He goes over to it, MISSES... and then the toad transforms into a mass of writhing Cthulhu tentacles and devours our souls.

Seriously, Ryan, what was UP with that?!

I am so stealing that toad for my next game!

Really? It was kind of an ass thing to do. Unless your adventurers are high level- ours were level 3. Ryan told me that he just took a toad, gave it thirty levels of sorcerer, and went to town with templates. Pseudonatural and Paragon, I think, were the two major ones. 'Course, I asked him why he did all that instead of just using the Cthulhu Rule. He said, "'Cause it was fun to stat out."

...Come to think of it, he's probably right...

[Squally!]

My god... the toad of doom.

It was an ordinary-looking toad. We all assumed it was just background scenery. IT'S CR 1/10! HOW COULD WE HAVE KNOWN!

...Okay, so our DM had a toad in the scenery. We were going to walk by it, but the barbarian felt like skooshing it. He goes over to it, MISSES... and then the toad transforms into a mass of writhing Cthulhu tentacles and devours our souls.

Seriously, Ryan, what was UP with that?!

I am so stealing that toad for my next game!

Really? It was kind of an ass thing to do. Unless your adventurers are high level- ours were level 3. Ryan told me that he just took a toad, gave it thirty levels of sorcerer, and went to town with templates. Pseudonatural and Paragon, I think, were the two major ones. 'Course, I asked him why he did all that instead of just using the Cthulhu Rule. He said, "'Cause it was fun to stat out."

...Come to think of it, he's probably right...

Well, the world we will be playing in is crazy. Giant kittens, people have chickens that just appear next to them at times, all kinds of strange stuff. Would fit in perfectly!

[Jyokage]

Blinded Orcs...If my dm even so much as mentions a blinded orc, my characters will run away in fear. I had a decent unarmed uber charger build in an early 3.5 game. One of my co-adventurers decides to blind a bunch of orcs that we were fighting. So, thinking I could easily handle a bunch of blinded low level orcs, I charge in...and roll a 2, a 3, and...another 2.
So after my fit of rage, the orc rollsto hit me, Nat 20, then succeeds against my concealment; with a great axe, x3 crit.
Rolls max damage. The dm described it as the canny orc lopping my freakin head off with a lucky swing. I now fear blinded orcs...In and out of character.

[tahu88810]

We've yet to have such mishaps in our group (I mean, there was that time where my Knight charged down a door and ended up falling down a flight of stairs, where he was promptly stabbed several times by occultists before his allies saved him), but when I DM I like to play even the monstrous races as real cultures and the like. Sometimes this is difficult, other times not so much. I actually had an entire desert-based tribal civilization a la Armageddon/darksun elves set up for a campaign that got dropped, but the elves were goblins and the world wasn't as harsh. This tends to mean tactics and strategy, which makes a cr1/2 far more dangerous, as has been shown by Tucker's Kobolds.

[Douglas]

so he takes his AoO... Nat 20, ok not so bad, could just be a crit-... Nat 20

What AoO? Unless he's got the Hold the Line feat or something similar, or is at least Large size (rather unusual, considering this would take two size categories of increase), charging a goblin does not provoke. Neither does moving up to it and attacking. It's leaving threatened squares that provokes, not entering - you might provoke for trying to run away, but not for charging.

[Kylarra]

To also be a little pedantic, the variant instant kill rule described in the DMG still requires a successful attack roll to OHKO, although with your luck at that point, maybe unnecessary.

[Scarey Nerd]

What AoO? Unless he's got the Hold the Line feat or something similar, or is at least Large size (rather unusual, considering this would take two size categories of increase), charging a goblin does not provoke. Neither does moving up to it and attacking. It's leaving threatened squares that provokes, not entering - you might provoke for trying to run away, but not for charging.

I'm Flail_Master's DM, and I freely admit that I don't fully understand many combat manouevers whereas I know my PCs often do, so in this case I asked what happens when you charge, with the response I got from Flail_Master being "They get an AoO".

This leaves me with two options: A), I can retcon it, which I'm not keen on because I hate retcon, B), Leave it how it is, which I'm not keen on because it means a PC has died without real reason.

Congratulations Flail_Master, you got your character back

[Flail_master]

I'm Flail_Master's DM, and I freely admit that I don't fully understand many combat manouevers whereas I know my PCs often do, so in this case I asked what happens when you charge, with the response I got from Flail_Master being "They get an AoO".

This leaves me with two options: A), I can retcon it, which I'm not keen on because I hate retcon, B), Leave it how it is, which I'm not keen on because it means a PC has died without real reason.

Congratulations Flail_Master, you got your character back

lol are you sure? its purely if it's fine with you?

I'm happy to reroll if you think otherwise

but if you're sure then YAY no dwarf dying by pathetic goblin!
i will accept any death other than by goblin now seriously if it makes sense ill accept death by toad... ok thats exaggerating


anyways keep the stories comin'!

[Douglas]

I'm Flail_Master's DM, and I freely admit that I don't fully understand many combat manouevers whereas I know my PCs often do, so in this case I asked what happens when you charge, with the response I got from Flail_Master being "They get an AoO".

Ah. For future reference, the correct answer is "+2 attack, -2 AC, and the (up to double) move to approach has to be shortest possible straight line."

Oh yeah, if the goblin had a spiked chain or other reach weapon, that would also qualify it for an AoO. Still far from standard for a goblin.

[Psyx]

Kobolds have always been nasty on occasion, of course.

Although ever since RotD, everyone expects them to be dirt-hard.

The time that I always seem to get wiped by something embarrassingly is the first combat after my new melee character has joined the party.
Great way to establish a reputation and a value in the party.



[Aside: I really hate 20-20 as a rule. It punishes melee types over spell-casters even more, as any fighter is going to to be on the receiving end of at least 10 swings on average per fight per level. 13 encounters per level. So by 4th level any meat-shield will be statistically likely to have been killed outright by a 20-20. Not fun. I don't mind using it against monsters, but not PCs.]

[dsmiles]

I almost killed a party with a bulette once. This is the same party that went on to one-shot an Aboleth Savant later on. Same CR-to-Party level ratio, but I guess bulettes are harder than I thought...

[druid91]

I died because I failed a balance check and rolled down a hill while wounded from slaying the dragon. I hit a boulder.

[Zen Master]

Hm - not a dice thing, but still.

The DM described a scene, and into it leapt what he described as: A fierce creature, reddish of skin. It has the looks of a goblin, and ...'

Here, I interupted, to inform the DM of my characters charge action.

He went 'um ... alright.'

So - charge, I swung my axe, hit ac 36 or so. He informed me that was a miss. I even got slightly miffed - missing a lowly goblin on a pretty damn good roll.

At which point he asked if I'd like the rest of the description. Which included: 'The goblin-like creature is a good 12 feet tall. Armed with a flaming whip, it wears what could be described as ethereal fullplate. It's left arm is disproportionally large, and ends in a giant pincer.'

So yea ... pain. Much pain. We did win, tho, and the frantic efforts of our healer kept my eager barbarian alive - if not stading.

[dsmiles]

I died because I failed a balance check and rolled down a hill while wounded from slaying the dragon. I hit a boulder.

To paraphrase:
"Boulders don't hit back."

[Flail_master]

Ah. For future reference, the correct answer is "+2 attack, -2 AC, and the (up to double) move to approach has to be shortest possible straight line."

Oh yeah, if the goblin had a spiked chain or other reach weapon, that would also qualify it for an AoO. Still far from standard for a goblin.

Thanks shall keep it in mind


also, these are great guys, very amusing

i'll submit another death fail that could have quite easily been death, from Vampire: The Masquerade this time.

Spoiler

Show

it was around our second or third session, i was a Giovanni, and no one really liked my character too much.

anyways, we we're looking around trying to get some info about a secret organisation, and we had just encountered (i say encountered, i mean ran from) a tzimice (i forget how to spell it) so me and one of the other players were sitting in a bar trying to figure out our next step.
The Story teller then tells me, after an alertness test, that i see a very antsy looking man, worried, looking around at his table, i notice he walks off and leaves his bag

and my reaction... "Who gives a s***?"

The bag then explodes hurling vials of Holy water everywhere!!! The guy i was with managed to dodge all of them, me? i took one square in the chest , i was already injured i was about 1 or 2 steps away from death now, or at least torpor.

i BARELY manage to crawl out of the bar (the story teller reckoned i could at least crawl, it was my chest that was injured) and immediately a bunch of vampire hunters fire a stake through my heart, paralyzing me. i SHOULD have died, but it was very early in the game, and our first time playing so the story teller was sympathetic


when i woke up, after everyone else escapes from captivity of the vampire hunters, and im broken free, they then have a vote on whether to kill me or not... wonderful

that was a fun session since then we've restarted, i'm a Nosferatu now, and i'm lovin it

[Greenish]

The Story teller then tells me, after an alertness test, that i see a very antsy looking man, worried, looking around at his table, i notice he walks off and leaves his bag

and my reaction... "Who gives a s***?"

The principle of conservation of detail and healthy paranoia are excellent tools for keeping your characters alive.

[WeeFreeMen]

...Im not proud of this one, yet it always brings a smile to my face

Once upon a time, there was a party of misfit adventurers. They were all X/Evil aligned and had just started out to destroy the world (Evil Campaign, Them vs. Good Guys). However, not all was fun and games when they wandered into a sacred Trove in the Forrest which was protected by a very, very, very powerful Druid.

Ranger lv6
Monk lv8
Barbarian lv6
Cleric lv7
Rouge lv8

vs.

Ferrets..

Round 1: FIGHT!
So the evil party sets out and begins to burn down this forest for the sake of Evil.. fair enough. The Druid ordered a scouting party of about 1d10+5 Ferrets with a 10% chance to have a Dire. Of-course I maxed out the D10 and 15 ferrets are willed into exsistance.. now what I didn't count on was 8 of them being Dire.

They promptly begin to stalk the PCs with their massive hide bonuses and set up an ambush.. now for those of you who don't know, Dire Ferrets have a Con dmg Drain while they maintain a grapple..

Have you ever seen 5 PCs wrestled to the ground by 15 ferrets while they gnaw and drain their blood away? No? Let me tell you, it was quite the sight.

I wasnt expecting them to beat the Barbarian or the Rouge in grapples or even the monk since I let him use PF version.

All 3 of them rolled lower than 5 and continued to do so!
So in short, my group of Players/PCs will NEVER burn down any type of forestry ever again for fear of "The Stalker Ferrets"

[darkpuppy]

I almost killed a party with a bulette once. This is the same party that went on to one-shot an Aboleth Savant later on. Same CR-to-Party level ratio, but I guess bulettes are harder than I thought...

Yup, Bulettes, played tactically, are evil. Guaranteed at least one kill, which is why I rarely ever use them anymore.

Still, another good one was "the box". This wasn't so much a shameful death by monster as me shamelessly using player paranoia against my players, but I distinctly remember describing the rest of this one dungeon room in great detail, and then, as a throwaway (it was in the room desc, but I forgot)... a box. Nothing special about it, nothing in it, just... "Oh, yeah, and a small box in one corner."

The players poked at it, prodded at it, loudly argued about what traps it might hold (no thief... oops!)... rolled on the random encounter tables for that area (I assumed loud noises=monster attraction), and got... 3 otyughs. Which got surprise, and annihilated the group.

[Elondor]

Wanna see something funny? Throw a couple rust monsters into an epic level game, and see the party freaking out over their precious magic items due to a cr 8

[Doug Lampert]

story is i charged a goblin in the first room of a small dungeon, intending for the outright kill, we're level 5, these guys took one hit most of the time
so he takes his AoO... Nat 20, ok not so bad, could just be a crit-... Nat 20

You are using 2 twenties autokills?

13 encounters per level, say X attacks on the melee types per encounter.

You lose 13/20*X melee characters over 20 levels.

Say the average battle is against two monsters, with three attacks per round, and that the average monster only gets two rounds of combat, then X is 12 (probably on the low side).

You should expect to lose 7.8 melee characters per full campaign to rolling 2 twenties. Or about one guy every 2.5 levels. Don't get attached to ANY melee characters in this game.

Note that I'm NOT including any "earned" deaths in this, this is a dead PC every 4 or so adventuring days from NOTHING but lucky rolls of 20/20. Deaths due to tough encounters or to an encounter becoming tough because the melee type went away for no real reason on round 1 or because someone did something stupid are ALL extra and on top of these. If the campaign includes any actual tough encounters and your GM doesn't fudge then expect a TPK sometime, because it's just a matter of time before what was supposed to be "tough but duable" starts with "the low level minion archer shoots at the cleric and 20, oh, 20 again, gosh, hope none of you need healing or buffing this battle".

Build a batman wizard, the only solution to this game is to never get hit in the first place. You may well still die, but at least the rules used aren't actively trying to kill you.

[Arbane]

it wasn't a monster, but the very first session of a game of Exalted. My character & one other, in a little prelude story of How the Unconquered Sun Decided I was Worth Demigodhood.

We were exploring an ancient ruin, when the Storyteller asks me to make a Perception roll. I fail, the floor starts to vanish out from under my feet. He asks me to make an Athletics roll to get back on solid ground.

A botch.

FIRST TWO ROLLS OF THE GAME.

So, down my character went into the bottomless pit.

The other PC (a Heroic Mortal) managed to bail my character out of that mess, but to this day I insist that HE was the one supposed to Exalt, and the Sun just had bad aim.

[Renegade Paladin]

Ok so basically, goblins are now some of the most deadliest things i've seen in our games

why you may ask? somehow, two have taken down 3 PC's that were level 3-4
and have now outright killed my level 5 dwarf barbarian who i only just recently got an avatar for

story is i charged a goblin in the first room of a small dungeon, intending for the outright kill, we're level 5, these guys took one hit most of the time
so he takes his AoO... Nat 20, ok not so bad, could just be a crit-... Nat 20

...wonderful, i have just been killed by faceless goblin number 3, the DM said he basically broke my neck in a panicked swing upwards to my jaw as i charged in for the kill

(Disclaimer: by no means am i saying they're always awesome, im just saying this out of their reputation for good rolls in our games)

so now my topic i intended, Playgrounders, what are your experiences of unexpected creatures being surprisingly deadly, monsters with reputations in your games, pathetic deaths, or just shenanigans

Flail_master

See, we make them roll to confirm the instant death too, so he'd need a third hitting roll after that...

[Flail_master]

See, we make them roll to confirm the instant death too, so he'd need a third hitting roll after that...

yeah im honestly not a fan of the double twenty=death! system, as Doug Lampert pointed out, its a bad thing for melee characters

im a DM in another campaign at the moment, if you didnt know, and im thinking of using triple 20's as instant deaths now
seems more reasonable

[dsmiles]

yeah im honestly not a fan of the double twenty=death! system, as Doug Lampert pointed out, its a bad thing for melee characters

im a DM in another campaign at the moment, if you didnt know, and im thinking of using triple 20's as instant deaths now
seems more reasonable

I use the triple nat 20 rule, and it seems to work out fine. It's only cropped up a few times, and only two players in the group pulled it off (in two separate campaigns), no monsters ever did (no fudging to save a character, or anything).

[Greenish]

im a DM in another campaign at the moment, if you didnt know, and im thinking of using triple 20's as instant deaths now
seems more reasonable

I'm not sure whose idea of fun is being killed by one hit from anything (or why such a person would be playing D&D).