Who Needs a Sheath? (3.5)

[Kyouhen]

So I have a Warforged Artificer/Fighter. I've only taken one level in Fighter for the proficiencies, and used the bonus feat for Quickdraw. I'm aiming for a weapons master theme, with my character running around with a weapon for every occassion strapped onto him.

So far my character's been looting any and all weapons/shields we find on enemies and has built up a rather nice little collection. We were joking around and the DM declared that I need to enchant my body so that it's magnetic and I can just stick the weapons on me as well as instantly disarm anyone stupid enough to try hitting me.

Now then Playgrounders, are there currently any ways that exist that would allow me to do this? It doesn't have to be magnetic, but it needs to not interfere with my Quickdraw ability. (Note that the DM is likely to be flexible in exact methods, I'm just looking for ideas)

[subject42]

Kill yourself and then raise yourself as an intelligent skeleton. Shove weapons inside of your ribcage.

[ericgrau]

If you make a disarm attempt while unarmed you get to keep the weapon. It gives you a -4 but you can cancel that with the improved disarm feat and a high attack bonus in general (greater magic fang, etc.). Multiple attacks helps too. Some form of reach such as large size could make enemies provoke attacks of opportunity when they approach you which could let you disarm them before they even attack. Large size also gives a +4 to disarm. Alternatively if the foe looks hard to disarm you could use your weapon to disarm him and he'll be forced to spend his turn picking it up and provoking another attack instead of finishing his charge.

As for carrying them I'd use clips or rambo-style bands with lots of sheaths on them.

[Da Beast]

I think that there is an actual magnetic armor property somewhere that takes away weapons from people who hit you. Can't remember where it comes from though

[Tokuhara]

Since you'e an artificer, build sheathes into your armor-skin and then hide your weapon arsenal in it...

Or a bag of holding could do the trick.

Heck, have your party main caster create a demiplane you can enter with like a ring, and have a Matrix-like rack-'o-million weapons

[Noedig]

If you could figure out how to duplicate the effects of a Metal Master, you'd have what you're looking for.

[subject42]

More seriously, there is the cantrip stick in the MiC. It might not have quite enough strength to keep the weapons on your body, but it might be worth taking a look at.

[Marnath]

Kill yourself and then raise yourself as an intelligent skeleton. Shove weapons inside of your ribcage.

Warforged don't rise as undead. Their insides are made of wood.

[subject42]

Warforged don't rise as undead. Their insides are made of wood.

Then maybe stab yourself really hard and just leave the weapons sticking out of your torso?

I would just go with stick, though.

[Kyouhen]

Since you'e an artificer, build sheathes into your armor-skin and then hide your weapon arsenal in it...

Or a bag of holding could do the trick.

Heck, have your party main caster create a demiplane you can enter with like a ring, and have a Matrix-like rack-'o-million weapons

Adamantine body. It would probably be cheaper to get a demiplane than to try carving sheathes in myself.

But mostly the point is my character runs around with a jacket draped over his shoulders that he mostly uses when he doesn't want to draw attention to his shiny body. I just think it'll be hilarious to have him throw the jacket open and reveal that he's a walking armoury. That and the demiplane doesn't let me use my Quickdraw.

If you could figure out how to duplicate the effects of a Metal Master, you'd have what you're looking for.

What book is Metal Master from? All I've been able to find is that it's an alternate Druid, but I can't find any rules for it.

More seriously, there is the cantrip stick in the MiC. It might not have quite enough strength to keep the weapons on your body, but it might be worth taking a look at.

Stick's a possibility, though I'd have to recast it every time I want to attach a weapon. (Not that that's going to be hard, I plan on getting Wand Sheathes at some point and I could just cram a Stick wand in there)

Unless someone has a really awesome idea, what I'm probably going to end up doing is copying the Mimic's adhesive but make it magnetic instead. My DM would likely allow this. I just want to see if there's any more hilarious ideas already out there.

[Lev]

More seriously, there is the cantrip stick in the MiC. It might not have quite enough strength to keep the weapons on your body, but it might be worth taking a look at.

Stick comes off with very little effort. You'd probably lose all your weapons just by walking.

I'd suggest a Handy Haversack or Bag of Holding.

[AsteriskAmp]

If your DM allows it you could get your armor made into a NdFeB magnet on the inside, since you still would have a metal on the outside it would be magnetised but the magnetism wouldn't be that strong so weapons don't fall but are easy to take away from the armor. (This was written with a basic knowledge of electromagnetism, feel free to correct me).

[Dr.Epic]

I'm trying to think of any cartoons or animes with robots that have similar abilities. All I can come up with is Gurren Lagann and drills.

[Marnath]

I'm trying to think of any cartoons or animes with robots that have similar abilities. All I can come up with is Gurren Lagann and drills.

Cloud from FF7 uses magnets to carry his buster sword, if that helps.

[nedz]

Quiver of Ehlonna (however its spelt) might help with the long pointy ones.

[dgnslyr]

Cloud from FF7 uses magnets to carry his buster sword, if that helps.

He does? When did they say that?

[Dimers]

I'd say Handy Haversack, refluffed and built as a no-body-slot item for double the usual cost. Maybe with the addition that it can ONLY be used for holding weapons, and doesn't suffer any chance of being pierced from the inside.

[dgnslyr]

Well, if your swords are in sheaths, you shouldn't have to worry as much about your Handy Haversack being punctured.

[DementedFellow]

Was I the only one who thought of the character Fat Chance from the Venture Bros.?

[herrhauptmann]

I'd say Handy Haversack, refluffed and built as a no-body-slot item for double the usual cost. Maybe with the addition that it can ONLY be used for holding weapons, and doesn't suffer any chance of being pierced from the inside.

Just reflavor it. The haversack is ordinarily a nonslot item anyway.

[Dr.Epic]

Cloud from FF7 uses magnets to carry his buster sword, if that helps.

Now explain how the many other other anime/video game characters are able to wield such massive swords?

[herrhauptmann]

Guts from Berserk has a fake hand (with a cannon in it).
When he needs to fight, he's got magnets in the hand that help him hold onto his sword.
They can hold that giant sword, at the same time, they're not so powerful that random kitchen wear goes flying at him from across the room.

[Innis Cabal]

Guts from Berserk has a fake hand (with a cannon in it).
When he needs to fight, he's got magnets in the hand that help him hold onto his sword.
They can hold that giant sword, at the same time, they're not so powerful that random kitchen wear goes flying at him from across the room.

That isn't canon in the slightest.

[Coidzor]

Warforged don't rise as undead. Their insides are made of wood.

They do, just not very usually or as skeletons because, well, yeah...

But mostly the point is my character runs around with a jacket draped over his shoulders that he mostly uses when he doesn't want to draw attention to his shiny body. I just think it'll be hilarious to have him throw the jacket open and reveal that he's a walking armoury. That and the demiplane doesn't let me use my Quickdraw.

Adamantine's not that shiny. Also, there's lacquer for that.

If you want to use quickdraw though, look up Iajutsu Focus and ways to get it.

[claypigeons]

Kill yourself and then raise yourself as an intelligent skeleton. Shove weapons inside of your ribcage.

I vote this.

Also, just to be more convoluted, tell your DM that you need to die, get reincarnated as something with flesh... THEN die ~again~ to raised as an intelligent skeleton.

After he says "(flat) No", tell him your actual idea.

[Fizban]

There's Naijar's Cloak of Weaponry in Player's Guide to Faerun. It basically is a refluffed Handy Haversack. The only problem is that apparently changing the retrieval action from "move" to "once per round" (whatever that means), has cut the storage capacity down to 25lbs. There's an updated version in the MiC, but it only holds a single weapon and specifies a swift action. I'd use the older version and claim that it uses your normal "draw a weapon" action which is reduced by Quickdraw, possibly refluffing as trench coat if needed.

For using the Stick spell, it's a cantrip that can only support objects up to 5lbs and is defeated by 10mph wind, so it's rather unsuitable for combat applications (running would probably make them all fall off). There's a Magnetism spell in Complete Arcane you could use. The actual spell effect would be horrible for this use (pulling distant objects with strength 30), but as a prerequisite for a wondrous item it would be just fine. Make it a swift action to attach or detach an item, allowing you to keep your weapons "on body" instead of dropping them in combat to switch. Then after combat you put them back in their normal sheathes so you can quickdraw them next fight. For swift action gear storage, limited to metal objects and without weight reduction, I think 1,000-2,000 would be fair.

Edit: ooh, you could also homebrew an Augment Crystal of Magnetism. It could do the same swift action deal for draw/store, and charge 300gp like the quickdraw crystal. Then maybe go to +2 on and against disarm, then up to +5 for disarms and apply -2 dex for 1 round on hit to creatures carrying lots of metal. Cost 300gp/1,000gp/4,000gp.

[Agrippa]

Now explain how the many other other anime/video game characters are able to wield such massive swords?

Maybe they all have superstrength. Sort of like Superman or the Hulk. Now just imagine for a few seconds the Hulk running around with the Buster Sword. Try holding that mental image in your head for a while.

[Coidzor]

Maybe they all have superstrength. Sort of like Superman or the Hulk. Now just imagine for a few seconds the Hulk running around with the Buster Sword. Try holding that mental image in your head for a while.

Ok, Hulk dwarfs the buster sword... Not sure why this is supposed to rock my world, tbh.

[AslanCross]

Warforged don't rise as undead. Their insides are made of wood.

There are, in fact, "undead" warforged called woeforged. They're mentioned in The Forge of War. However, they aren't statted, and by their description are not skeletal.

[Agrippa]

Ok, Hulk dwarfs the buster sword... Not sure why this is supposed to rock my world, tbh.

I know that, it just sounds fun to watch.