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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

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    biggrin please PEACH my homebrew

    Hello playground, this is my first attempt at homebrew, so here it is
    Dawnstealer
    medium undead
    6hp
    attacks: 2 claws 1d2+1
    ac 18 flat footed 14 touch 14
    sq aura of dawn stealing 30 ft radius all living creatures in the aura must make a dc 8 fortitude save or take 1 point of strength damage as a little bit of their life energy is absorbed by the dawnstealer, the dawnstealer regains 1 hit point, with excess bieng gained as temp hp, for every five points of strength damage dealt, both the amount of strength damage dealt and the save dc increase by one.
    So, what do you think?

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Mulletmanalive's Avatar

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    Default Re: please PEACH my homebrew

    I think you're not doing it justice...which is a shame.

    I've posted in Vorpal Tribble's monster formatting thingy here: just copy the stuff in the ''no parse" section and fill in your monster. Like in math classes, we like to see your full working. Then we'll check the numbers and help you pollish that nasty little aura ability to a mirror shine!

    No Parsed Stat Block Code
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    [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=5]Name[/SIZE][/FONT]

    <Size> <Type>
    [B]Hit Dice:[/B]
    [B]Initiative:[/B]
    [B]Speed: [/B](# squares)
    [B]Armor Class:[/B] (), touch, flat-footed
    [B] Base Attack/Grapple:[/B]
    [B]Attack[/B]:
    [B]Full Attack[/B]:
    [B]Space/Reach[/B]:
    [B]Special Attacks[/B]:
    [B]Special Qualities[/B]:
    [B]Saves[/B]: Fort +, Ref +, Will +
    [B]Abilities[/B] Str , Dex , Con , Int , Wis , Cha
    [B]Skills:[/B]
    [B]Feats:[/B]
    [B]Environment:[/B]
    [B]Organization:[/B]
    [B]Challenge Rating:[/B]
    [B]Treasure:[/B]
    [B]Alignment:[/B]
    [B]Advancement:[/B]
    [B]Level Adjustment:[/B]

    Description/background/characteristics

    [B]Combat[/B]

    Ability descriptions

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-

    [U]- Optional -[/U]

    [B]Lore[/B]

    Plot Hook/Story if any


    Name

    <Size> <Type>
    Hit Dice:
    Initiative:
    Speed: (# squares)
    Armor Class: (), touch, flat-footed
    Base Attack/Grapple:
    Attack:
    Full Attack:
    Space/Reach:
    Special Attacks:
    Special Qualities:
    Saves: Fort +, Ref +, Will +
    Abilities Str , Dex , Con , Int , Wis , Cha
    Skills:
    Feats:
    Environment:
    Organization:
    Challenge Rating:
    Treasure:
    Alignment:
    Advancement:
    Level Adjustment:

    Description/background/characteristics

    Combat

    Ability descriptions

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-

    - Optional -

    Lore

    Plot Hook/Story if any
    Mine is not so much a Peter Pan Complex as a Peter Pan Doom Fortress and Underground LairTM!
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalflingRangerGuy

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    Default Re: please PEACH my homebrew

    Thanks Mulletman

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Titan in the Playground
     
    BelGareth's Avatar

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    Default Re: please PEACH my homebrew

    Agree with mullet man, it will make it easier on us and also make you come up with everything making sure you don't miss anything crucial.

    What's the CR of this creature?
    Looks to be around 1/4-3

    Hp seem a little low, you need to say how many HD take the average of the HD and then add any Con mods and/or feats.

    Is this for Pathfinder or 3.5 or both?
    I found the Pathfinder Bestiary very easy to level/custom create monsters, you should read it. And stick to the basics outlined there, I.e hp,HD...etc

    AC is a little high for what I'm imagining, (cr 2) and once again you need to break it down, looks like +4 dex and +4 nat? That's a little to high dex mod for an undead to have.
    undead typically don't have high Dex and are easy to hit, and AC of 18 is actually high at lower levels and will result in frustrated players. Try something like 15, +4 nat +1 dodge.

    DC 8?
    As a rule all DC's start at base 10, then you add the level of the ability (1 or 2?) and then an ability modifier. In this case sounds like CHA? Something like this maybe?
    10+2+1= 13
    this gives you what your looking for, it's a low DC but at first through 3rd still something to worry about.

    The increase in DC and str damage is a little off, I've only seen anything like it on a demon, I would leave it as a static affect, str damage at low levels is crippling, you don't want it to make it worse.

    You could make an advanced template to enhance all these abilities for higher CR's.
    Make the 1 str damage upgrade to 1d4.
    Increase DC of aura
    increase area of aura

    It's a good idea just needs some refinement, and some fluff would be nice too!
    Hope this helps.
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