Worst. Character. Introduction. Ever.

[Scarey Nerd]

Wow... I just... Wow...

A new player was being introduced as a Spellscale Sorcerer, and was using chickens as target practice to practice using Scorching Ray, and accidentally set light to a tavern in doing so. The Cleric of the party used Hold Person to stop him from running away, then stole his Bag of Holding, emptied it out and took it all, and ran off, leaving him behind.

.........Yeah.

I had to share this experience with you, asking for the worst character introductions you've ever seen.

[Ganurath]

Eh. Better than being sexual violated by a swarm of Fiendish kittens while being dragged to a portal to one of the Infinite Layers of the Abyss. The cleric was deaf in one ear for the remainder of the campaign.

[BobVosh]

Better than "you meet in a tavern" or "prisoner you need to rescue" if introduced late. At least its memorable.

[John Campbell]

The new PC was dominated by the BBEG and sent to steal a personal item from one of us so the BBEG could use it as a focus for scrying on us. Our Druid, who had an insane Spot modifier, spotted the attempt (as planned), but rather than metagaming our way to the conclusion that he was acting against his will, we confronted him like we would any other thief, and in the ensuing scuffle, kind of killed him outright. I maybe critted him a little bit with my greataxe.

And then it's not like we were going to burn diamonds on raising some random guy who tried to steal from us...

[hiryuu]

The new PC was dominated by the BBEG and sent to steal a personal item from one of us so the BBEG could use it as a focus for scrying on us. Our Druid, who had an insane Spot modifier, spotted the attempt (as planned), but rather than metagaming our way to the conclusion that he was acting against his will, we confronted him like we would any other thief, and in the ensuing scuffle, kind of killed him outright. I maybe critted him a little bit with my greataxe.

And then it's not like we were going to burn diamonds on raising some random guy who tried to steal from us...

Did anyone in the party have a Sense Motive bonus higher than +4?

[d13]

Did anyone in the party have a Sense Motive bonus higher than +4?

If I caught someone trying to steal something from me or my party, I'd probably not waste time sensing his/her motive...

[An Enemy Spy]

Wow... I just... Wow...

A new player was being introduced as a Spellscale Sorcerer, and was using chickens as target practice to practice using Scorching Ray, and accidentally set light to a tavern in doing so. The Cleric of the party used Hold Person to stop him from running away, then stole his Bag of Holding, emptied it out and took it all, and ran off, leaving him behind.

.........Yeah.

I had to share this experience with you, asking for the worst character introductions you've ever seen.

I'll tell you the worst character intro ever.
Waking up drunk and high in a bar, hitting on the first woman you see, having all the guys with her try to kill you, running up on a table and pissing on them to give them a nausea penalty, heroically leaping over the table and slipping in your own urine, trying to use the very woman whose honor the men were trying to protect only for them to hack right through her to get to you. While completely unarmed and naked.

[blackjack217]

DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

[An Enemy Spy]

DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

Just have a purple worm come out of the ground, eat him and go back home.

[Calmar]

DM: So describe your character
New Guy: well he's a drow...
Veteran 1: what weapons does he have.
New Guy: two scimitars

Uh, that's brutal.

[Angry Bob]

Started off best, then went to worst. Guy with battle jump, pounce, and five natural attacks jumped off a roof and absolutely murdered a fiendish dinosaur of some sort. Then the trigger-happy DMPC owned him with a fireball, revived him from negatives, and asked for a reason not to kill him immediately. At half health, the ambush by a common enemy immediately after that didn't go well.

[John Campbell]

Did anyone in the party have a Sense Motive bonus higher than +4?

I don't think so, actually. No one could afford ranks in it, because it was cross-class, they were strapped for skill points, or both. (The druid and my fighter/wizard were the only characters in the party who were getting more than two skill points per level, and neither of us were exactly people persons. If you wanted a Survival, Spot, Spellcraft, Concentration, Knowledge (anything but Nobility), or Craft DC crushed, you could come to us. Sense Motive... not so much.) Best Sense Motive bonuses were probably the cleric and druid, with just their Wisdom bonus, which at that point in the game I don't think would've been higher than +4.

In any case, a Sense Motive check takes longer than the less than two combat rounds that the new PC was in the game.

[hiryuu]

In any case, a Sense Motive check takes longer than the less than two combat rounds that the new PC was in the game.

That's true. I guess the people I game with are the type to try and discern the motive behind damn near everything.

[AstralFire]

That's true. I guess the people I game with are the type to try and discern the motive behind damn near everything.

Sounds like me. I even typically take feats based on sense motive.

[Dire Moose]

My ex-girlfriend, back when we were still together. I was somehow Genre Blind enough to let her play for one session during the campaign. She took her character's "infiltrate the party and subtly sabotage their goals" as "hide in the woods and try to kill the party on sight".

The first session wound up running wildly off the rails as she summoned a Giant Eagle and shot arrows at the party. After taking enought damage and prevented from hitting the party due to the cleric casting interference spells, she was forced to retreat as I had already refused her requests for special favors. Afterward, we broke up (for unrelated reasons) and her character (now an NPC) was killed in the next session. Not by party agreement, mind you, the LE monk killed her in a Coup de Grace to prevent her from telling the rest of the party that they were being misled (which was true).

[PrismaticPIA]

Our party Assassin was discovered when our Paladin of Bahamut decided to piss in a random prison cell after failing his spot check.

[Keld Denar]

New Guy: well he's a drow...

Could be worse. Could be an "infusion of Cloud and the player"...

[hamishspence]

Better than "you meet in a tavern" or "prisoner you need to rescue" if introduced late. At least its memorable.

I've been "prisoner who is rescued" before- when the party was half-way through a dungeon crawl.

The fact that I was a warforged with hidden compartment weapons meant I wasn't too far behind the party.

"Petrified statue who the party cast stone to flesh on" was another.

Not very unusual- but it worked.

[The Tygre]

Could be worse. Could be an "infusion of Cloud and the player"...

Right. Drow.

[TheThan]

I'm convinced the absolute best way to introduce a new player to any campaign is to simply drop them out of the sky.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

SPLAT!

[The Glyphstone]

Could be worse. Could be an "infusion of Cloud and the player"...

*shudders from repressed memories*

[hamishspence]

I'm convinced the absolute best way to introduce a new player to any campaign is to simply drop them out of the sky.

We had this happen with an NPC once. Light engulfed the ship (the wizard using Arcana to see how magic the light was, got promptly blinded for a short while) and a glowing figure falls from the sky and lands on the ship.

We ended up escorting them to the nearest authority (Waterdeep) and being told by the Lords to keep very, very quiet about the being.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Hey at least your DM tried. My first DM just had me there all of a sudden. No intro just "and Father Kergion was there too."

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

Drow monk that was stealing the same thing we were after and attacks us. Our party of 6 beats her into submission and then decides that she is ok and lets her in the party... I was the only one who voted that we kill them.
Two things happened that day, we got the most useless party member with nothing special to join our group and I learned that the rest of my team was chaotic stupid...

[FMArthur]

Drow monk that was stealing the same thing we were after and attacks us. Our party of 6 beats her into submission and then decides that she is ok and lets her in the party... I was the only one who voted that we kill them.
Two things happened that day, we got the most useless party member with nothing special to join our group and I learned that the rest of my team was chaotic stupid...

You mean they were interested in keeping the game fun while you were only interested in your character. What a good thing it was that the other players prevented that character introduction from going totally wrong.

[krossbow]

You mean they were interested in keeping the game fun while you were only interested in your character. What a good thing it was that the other players prevented that character introduction from going totally wrong.

exactly.

Remember: Acceptable breaks from reality can be the key to enjoying a fun game if its needed. you don't have to be "Uber realistic, no exceptions" about your game all the time after all.

[Gensh]

During the last game I played in, I was actually invited shortly after the start of the session and had to fill out my character sheet with no preparation. A random encounter in the middle of the city started shortly after I finished, so I decided that my rogue would be a random passerby who decided to fight the...raptors...seriously.

Me: What do I start out with?
DM: Nothing.
Me: Do I at least have a weapon?
DM: No; you're just a random guy in town.
Me: There are clothes hanging up nearby, right?
DM: Yeah. You gonna go shopping or...?
Me: Sneak attack with a coathanger!

I missed and got one-shotted the next round.

Next session, I statted up a warlock beforehand. The party was attempting to escape town on a cruise ship, but didn't have enough tickets for everyone. I hadn't met them yet and was standing a distance away, trying to get on the ship to rob people.

Me: Do I start out with anything this time?
DM: Nope.
Me: Seriously?
DM: No.
Me: (Sarcastically) Not even clothes?
DM: (Serious) Nope; you're butt-naked.
Me: ...I spiderwalk onto the side of the ship and into a window. Hide *rolls*.
DM: You get onto the ship without anyone seeing you. You're in the poorer section right now.
Me: Is there anyone I should notice?
DM: Leonardo Dicaprio wants to draw you.

When the party ended up on the iceberg later, I was apparently still naked, despite having set up a betting pool on the ship with the ranger and the paladin.

[Malfunctioned]

The game: Traveller.
The location: Imperial Solar Point One (a large space station on par with the Citadel from Mass Effect)
The new PC: Commander Elizabeth 'Red' Warner, a notorious ex-navy captain whom the crew wished to gain the services of.

The scene: A low down scum bar, several heavily muscled, armed and armoured men surrounding Red. The crew recognise her from the database on board their ship. They try to intervene, it turns out the men are her crew. Red gets knocked unconscious with a Stunstick, the PC's grab her and run, knocking out several guards on the way and end up attempting to enter Jump Space (basically FTL travel) whilst still docked onto ISPO. The result, a massive misjump, trillions of credits worth of damage to the station, a large bounty on their heads and a severely pissed-off ex-navy officer thrust into the position of ships captain.

[Zeofar]

The game: Traveller.
The location: Imperial Solar Point One (a large space station on par with the Citadel from Mass Effect)
The new PC: Commander Elizabeth 'Red' Warner, a notorious ex-navy captain whom the crew wished to gain the services of.

The scene: A low down scum bar, several heavily muscled, armed and armoured men surrounding Red. The crew recognise her from the database on board their ship. They try to intervene, it turns out the men are her crew. Red gets knocked unconscious with a Stunstick, the PC's grab her and run, knocking out several guards on the way and end up attempting to enter Jump Space (basically FTL travel) whilst still docked onto ISPO. The result, a massive misjump, trillions of credits worth of damage to the station, a large bounty on their heads and a severely pissed-off ex-navy officer thrust into the position of ships captain.

That sounds like an awesome character introduction...

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

You mean they were interested in keeping the game fun while you were only interested in your character. What a good thing it was that the other players prevented that character introduction from going totally wrong.

I believe the character introduction went wrong when she attacked us for no adequate reason. We didn't even have a chance to say we were after what she took. I only suggested killing her (in character mind you) because of her character's actions thus far. One does not invite a random stranger open-armed into a traveling group when they try to kill you for no reason.