Post your favorite recipes involving any core 3.5 creature

[Milo v3]

This was sparked by the gnome and elf recipes in the thread "Gnomes Vs. Kobolds".

So any recipes would be great.

[Excession]

Are beholders core? If so: Stuffed Beholder Eyeballs. First kill your beholder without damaging any of its eyes. Then you mince the choice bits of minced beholder meat and stuff them into the small eyes along with various spices. Then you stuff the small eyes carefully into the central eye, fill with vegetables and stock, tie it closed and steam slowly until the whole thing is cooked.

Troll Jerky. Just keep chewing

[mootoall]

Well really, elves make the most delicious pretentious pate I've ever had. Steam lightly, add a bit of plum pudding, then the roasted livers of sentient, Good animals. Delicious.

[DragonOfUndeath]

Spit roasted gnome:

First kill a Gnome. this can be done several ways but the best is Black Lotus Poison (If using poison remember to add anti-venom to the herbs)

Set up your fire. Pine tree is the best as it gives the gnome a nice smoky taste other wood just doesn't capture.

Put Gnome on Spit and slowly turn over fire.

Have an assistant sprinkle assorted herbs over the rotating Gnome (I find some Spotted Toadstool Venom works wonders with this dish)

after 20 minutes take off spit and divide between the party.

NOTE: Spotted Toadstool Venom is not for the faint of stomach. DO NOT add if you can't make a DC16 Fort save easily.

Well really, elves make the most delicious pretentious pate I've ever had. Steam lightly, add a bit of plum pudding, then the roasted livers of sentient, Good animals. Delicious.

It seems the best dishes have Elf in them. I wish my Elf traps were better the only thing they catch seems to be Half-Elves

[CockroachTeaParty]

Are beholders core? If so: Stuffed Beholder Eyeballs. First kill your beholder without damaging any of its eyes. Then you mince the choice bits of minced beholder meat and stuff them into the small eyes along with various spices. Then you stuff the small eyes carefully into the central eye, fill with vegetables and stock, tie it closed and steam slowly until the whole thing is cooked.

Unfortunately, Lords of Madness describes beholder eyes to be roughly as hard as stone. It would be like trying to eat a crystal ball. I suppose if you've got strong teeth and jaws, you could pull it off.

[darbythegambler]

Pico de Tarrasque-o (con Illithid)
Step 1: Hunt yourself a fresh Tarrasque and a couple of well fed Mind Flayers. Consult with your local adventuring group about that one.

Step 2: Dice it all up and toss into a pot of boiling water, let it cook until a lot of the water has evaporated.

Step 3: Have a nearby wizard cast Prestidigitation on it, this will kick up the flavor a lot.

Step 4: Serve to party and enjoy

(is it bad that now looking at the Tarrasque gets me hungry )

[DragonOfUndeath]

(is it bad that now looking at the Tarrasque gets me hungry )

No it isn't. I can't look at Gnomes without thinking of the various ways of catching and eating it.

[MeeposFire]

Curried Gnome.

1. Can of curry paste (canned is better than a jar) of choice. My favorite is Massaman.

2. Can of coconut milk.

3. 1 bag of frozen vegies. You could go fresh just use about that much. Broccoli, green beans, peas, onions, and red peppers are good choices .

4) Extras include fish sauce, coriander, fresh cilantro (unlike many things this actually matters), and kaffir lime leaves.

5) 1 lbs of freshly slain gnome (or lamb, beef, pork, or favorite seafood).


Put curry paste and coconut milk in a pan or wok. Mix together on medium heat until fully mixed. Put gnomish meat into the mixture making the temp. just below what makes it boil (you do not want it to be boiling). You want the meat to cook for about one hour. As meat is cooking you may add extras like fish sauce and lime leaves to taste. Cook vegetables separately and add them in about 15 minutes before serving sauteing is best for many. Add fresh cilantro right before serving. Remember you do not actually eat the lime leaves (treat them like bay leaf, though they are tasty to suck on). Serve over rice or other favorite dish (quinoa, noodles, or toast are common).

Also dwarf strogonoff is delicious. Similar to beef but with more body.

[Zhalath]

Unfortunately, Lords of Madness describes beholder eyes to be roughly as hard as stone. It would be like trying to eat a crystal ball. I suppose if you've got strong teeth and jaws, you could pull it off.

*ding* Adamantine teeth.

On that note, if you can get it, ghost pudding is delicious. You basically forcecage it and shake it with reverse gravity.

[Milo v3]

Has anyone ever eaten a fellow companion before. Once my party ran out of food and they chose to eat me first. Here is the recipe:
1. Fresh Elf Meat (At least 2lbs)
2. Water
3. A Hollow Holy Symbol of Dwarven Priest of Rivers (Has alchol in it)
4. Grass infused with the Element Of Fire
5. A pot
6. A Curry Paste (With chili)

First cut up the elven meat into small strips. Place the Holy symbol into the pot. Place the curry paste into the pot and pour in water. Heat the water over a fire. Slowy place in the elf Meat and start to stir. After 5 minutes place the grass into the pot and stir. After 3 minutes is now ready to eat.

According to the DM I was delicious

[Xefas]

Red Dragon Barbacoa.

The real world dish: A cow/goat/sheep/similar head is rubbed down with spices, wrapped tightly in maguey leaves, and then buried in a deep hole in the ground surrounded by hot coals. The coals slowly steam the animal head in the naturally pressurized environment. Once its done (the time depends on what kind of animal you're using), you just dig it back up and serve the meat, which should now be tender enough to pull off the skull very easily, on tortillas, possibly with an assortment of additional items, such as guacamole, salsa, onions, etc.

The fantasy equivalent: You've just killed a red dragon. You've harvested its scales for armor, its bones for weapons, its claws, horns, and teeth for trophies, and the rest of its flesh for more standard cuisine, but now you're left with a head. The fighter wants to make it into a helm, but you quickly remind him that the beast was gargantuan sized, thus making such a feat impractical. The mage wants to harvest its eyes, brain, and other head-organs for material components, but you refresh his memory about the fact that his tiny 1lb bag of material components will have an infinite amount of such things should he ever find need of them.

And so, you set about your ponderous duty. Dragons have high natural armor and damage reduction, making their meat exceptionally tough. In addition, a red dragon's resistance to heat makes the cooking process all the more complicated. You could try cold-smoking it, and eating the meat more-or-less raw. Dragons have a high fortitude save, making them resilient to most diseases and parasites that would complicate consuming raw foods. And cold-smoking runs at a temperature low enough that a red dragon's heat immunity does not interfere. However, you get the strong inclination that, as amazingly delicious as that would be, no one but the Warforged Bard has teeth strong enough to chew such a thing.

It is then you call upon your impressive breadth of culinary knowledge and recall a run in with a tribe of Slaadi in the windswept depths of Pandemonium. They had a peculiar technique of Calling fire mephits, killing them, stuffing them with the distilled madness of Phlegethon, and burying their corpses underground to allow them to steep in their own elemental juices. Applying the same logic (and quickly thanking the fortune of having had your party listen to you upon meeting those Slaad, such that you dined with them before the inevitable killing and looting process), you dig a hole, wrapping the dragon head in the recently acquired Tendriculos leaves that your foolish druid companion was planning on modifying into a fancy poncho, and burying it with its severed heart, gizzard, and fundamentum. The idea is that these organs, supercharged with the dragon's elemental fire, will burn hot enough to be able to cook the dragon's head meats, if only slowly.

[Excession]

Unfortunately, Lords of Madness describes beholder eyes to be roughly as hard as stone. It would be like trying to eat a crystal ball. I suppose if you've got strong teeth and jaws, you could pull it off.

Well then one stone to flesh later and you're good to go

[MeeposFire]

Red Dragon Barbacoa.

The real world dish: A cow/goat/sheep/similar head is rubbed down with spices, wrapped tightly in maguey leaves, and then buried in a deep hole in the ground surrounded by hot coals. The coals slowly steam the animal head in the naturally pressurized environment. Once its done (the time depends on what kind of animal you're using), you just dig it back up and serve the meat, which should now be tender enough to pull off the skull very easily, on tortillas, possibly with an assortment of additional items, such as guacamole, salsa, onions, etc.

The fantasy equivalent: You've just killed a red dragon. You've harvested its scales for armor, its bones for weapons, its claws, horns, and teeth for trophies, and the rest of its flesh for more standard cuisine, but now you're left with a head. The fighter wants to make it into a helm, but you quickly remind him that the beast was gargantuan sized, thus making such a feat impractical. The mage wants to harvest its eyes, brain, and other head-organs for material components, but you refresh his memory about the fact that his tiny 1lb bag of material components will have an infinite amount of such things should he ever find need of them.

And so, you set about your ponderous duty. Dragons have high natural armor and damage reduction, making their meat exceptionally tough. In addition, a red dragon's resistance to heat makes the cooking process all the more complicated. You could try cold-smoking it, and eating the meat more-or-less raw. Dragons have a high fortitude save, making them resilient to most diseases and parasites that would complicate consuming raw foods. And cold-smoking runs at a temperature low enough that a red dragon's heat immunity does not interfere. However, you get the strong inclination that, as amazingly delicious as that would be, no one but the Warforged Bard has teeth strong enough to chew such a thing.

It is then you call upon your impressive breadth of culinary knowledge and recall a run in with a tribe of Slaadi in the windswept depths of Pandemonium. They had a peculiar technique of Calling fire mephits, killing them, stuffing them with the distilled madness of Phlegethon, and burying their corpses underground to allow them to steep in their own elemental juices. Applying the same logic (and quickly thanking the fortune of having had your party listen to you upon meeting those Slaad, such that you dined with them before the inevitable killing and looting process), you dig a hole, wrapping the dragon head in the recently acquired Tendriculos leaves that your foolish druid companion was planning on modifying into a fancy poncho, and burying it with its severed heart, gizzard, and fundamentum. The idea is that these organs, supercharged with the dragon's elemental fire, will burn hot enough to be able to cook the dragon's head meats, if only slowly.

I saw barbacoa being made on that strange food show on the travel channel. Looked tasty even if the cooking seemed strange at the time. Dragons head would require quite the hole.

[grimbold]

beef

step 1
go to the butcher shop

step 2
stab the butcher to cripple/to death OR steal from the butcher OR set fire to his shop OR pay him and obtain a chunk of meat

step 3 cook the meat over a fire

[DragonOfUndeath]

beef

step 1
go to the butcher shop

step 2
stab the butcher to cripple/to death OR steal from the butcher OR set fire to his shop OR pay him and obtain a chunk of meat

step 3 cook the meat over a fire

Step 4 kill/bribe guards to not arrest you for stealing meat/ crippling butcher/ killing butcher/ arson/ stealing from *insert bystander here* to pay for said meat

[Milo v3]

Sorry to point this out but I don't think there are any Butcher stats in "Core 3.5"

[AslanCross]

Sorry to point this out but I don't think there are any Butcher stats in "Core 3.5"

Commoner 1?

[Yora]

No it isn't. I can't look at Gnomes without thinking of the various ways of catching and eating it.

Oh man, this is so funny! I never heard anyone making this joke before! It's brilliant!

[Necroticplague]

Mimic Boil

1. Kill Mimic
2. put dead mimic in pot with alchohol (enough to cover whole thing) .
3.cook slowly with application of heat metal.
4.add strongest poision you can easily pass the fortitude save for, for flavor.
5.Use prestidigatation to clean of anything stuck to the mimic.
6. Re-cast heat metal until mimic is dark colored.
7. Serve wiith lemon to fellow aberrations, and enjoy.

[CockroachTeaParty]

Well then one stone to flesh later and you're good to go

I don't think that would do anything. The eyeball is already technically flesh. Perhaps boiling it will soften it up eventually?

[Prime32]

Let's not forget Tojbasarrirge from the Age of Worms Adventure Path.

A tojanida stuffed with basilisks stuffed with arrowhawks stuffed with stirges. You gain favour with the dinner's host if you manage to eat it without gagging.

[Jack_Simth]

First kill a Gnome. this can be done several ways but the best is Black Lotus Poison (If using poison remember to add anti-venom to the herbs)

Doesn't that spoil the flavor of the meat? 'Alive and screaming' is a flavor, right?

[Lateral]

Black Puddings make a delicious dessert topping, if you use it in a hot caramel fudge sauce. 20:1 ratio of fudge sauce-to-black pudding. It's great on blackroot forrest cake.

Also, raggamoffyn stew. Add kale, string beans and saffron. It's delicious.

Zapping food with shocker lizard zaps is a potent flavor-enhancer. One nonlethal shock is good in anything, but lethal shocks should be reserved for subtler dishes. Bring insulating gloves.

Planar soufflé, carefully prepared, is one of the greatest delicacies in existence, but also the most difficult to prepare. I won't go into details, but the main ingredients are fresh flux slime, bottled prismatic emanations from a prismasaurus, essence of all four kinds of primal elementals, pit fiend venom, bottled balor death throes, and three wishes from three separate solars.

[Necroticplague]

Planar soufflé, carefully prepared, is one of the greatest delicacies in existence, but also the most difficult to prepare. I won't go into details, but the main ingredients are fresh flux slime, bottled prismatic emanations from a prismasaurus, essence of all four kinds of primal elementals, pit fiend venom, bottled balor death throes, and three wishes from three separate solars.

Dang, that sounds exspensive.

[Lateral]

Dang, that sounds exspensive.

I'll say, it involves killing four CR 35 creatures, standing next to a CR 28 one for five minutes having to make at least fifty separate fort saves, finding the anchor point of a CR 21 trap and moving it into a jar without even touching the slime, killing a balor and a pit fiend, and convincing three solars to work together to make the cuisine. And that's not even all of the ingredients.

Also, making it is at least as hard, if not harder, than getting the ingredients.

[DragonOfUndeath]

Doesn't that spoil the flavor of the meat? 'Alive and screaming' is a flavor, right?

in the weigh up between the nice taste of poison and anti-venom in your mouth or hearing the screams of the Gnome as it is being Spit Roasted is a hard one you neglect to remember that if done right the right poison will leave the Gnome screaming in agony which I think really brings out the taste of the poison, it also has the nice side effect of letting the poison seep into the juiciest portions.

[mootoall]

Commoner 1?

I'd think Expert, actually.

[Adamantrue]

Many, many moons ago, possibly before many members of this board were born, I had a gameworld where Orcs were considered mere animals, and often times used as livestock much like pigs. The Base of Operations for my PCs was an inn specializing in Orc Dishes.

Orc Chops.
Orc Roast.
Orc Fried Rice.
Orc Roll...

You get the idea. We thought it was hilarious at the time. 20 years later, it just seems silly.

[MeeposFire]

Many, many moons ago, possibly before many members of this board were born, I had a gameworld where Orcs were considered mere animals, and often times used as livestock much like pigs. The Base of Operations for my PCs was an inn specializing in Orc Dishes.

Orc Chops.
Orc Roast.
Orc Fried Rice.
Orc Roll...

You get the idea. We thought it was hilarious at the time. 20 years later, it just seems silly.

That is one of those things that are hilarious at 3am. Coincidentally that is when I am hungriest.

[Xefas]

Planar soufflé, carefully prepared, is one of the greatest delicacies in existence, but also the most difficult to prepare. I won't go into details, but the main ingredients are fresh flux slime, bottled prismatic emanations from a prismasaurus, essence of all four kinds of primal elementals, pit fiend venom, bottled balor death throes, and three wishes from three separate solars.

Do you have to bake the souffle in an oven made of Modrons?