Dealing With A Clingy Player [3.5]

[Volos]

While it is the dream of almost any DM to have players who care about the campaign setting and enjoy the game, there is a certian level of involvement that is acceptable and a certian amount that is... well... just creepy.

What happened was I ran this group with four of my friends for about half a year or so. Everyone enjoyed the game and all the players were serious about the setting. The perfect game I thought. The wizard and cleric worshiped the same demi-god and were determined to make their god more powerful. The paladin had so many moral compass misdirections to keep him busy for the next few adventures. And the rogue had a nation that she wanted to topple for their evil acts. All seemed well, but I was struck dumb by a turn of events inside and outside of the game.

Without warning the rogue was upset with everyone else in the group, downright furious. They were building a castle together and she was upset that the wizard and cleric wanted to put their gold together to make a larger temple to their demi-god. She was concerned that all gods should have equal number of followers. I tried explaining that you can't force people to worship or not worship certian dieties, but she wouldn't listen. Then she came to me after the game to tell me (yes, tell me) that she and the guy playing the paladin had found a large plot of land that they would build a house on (In real life). And she would sell me and my girlfriend a piece of the land for more than they were going to pay for the whole thing, help us build a house and then we would all have kids and they would all play D&D together forever and forever. She then went and told the rest of the group that this was happening and they were going to be happy about it.

What should I do? I've tried explaining to her that I will move away from the state to follow my career as well as my girlfriend's career. But she doesn't seem to hear anything I say. I've also tried to talk to the player of the paladin (her boyfriend) but he is so crazy about her that he seems to not be able to hear the crazy coming out of her mouth. Should I record her insanity and show him this so that he will become disillusioned and dump her crazyness? This might save the group, atleast the group minus her. Otherwise I will lose half of my gaming group. What do I do?

[Reluctance]

Keep a record of her insanity. Not to try and convince her boyfriend of anything - people are notoriously blind when it's Twue Lub - but to have it handy in case things escalate and you need to contact law enforcement.

Assuming she's just nuts but not destructively nuts, let everybody else know your position. Then gauge how disruptive she is to your campaign. If she's only generically clingy, she'll find something else to distract her sooner or later. If the game suffers for her antics, have a serious talk. Explain that you need her to pipe down, or else you'll have to boot her. Follow through if necessary.

[Shenanigans]

Yeesh; that's a thorny bundle of sticks. Not to deflect, but this is a problem that might be beyond even the mighty epic powers of these boards.

Honestly, it kind of sounds like your gaming group is not destined to stay together with that level of wackiness. My advice would be to wait and see if this blows over, and if it doesn't, then perhaps find a new (or half of a new) gaming group.

I know that's (very much) easier said than done, and I don't know what your local scene is like, but in my experience, there's usually gamers out there you don't know about. The local gaming stores would be my first stop; they often have bulletin boards for just such a purpose.

Good luck!

[valadil]

Without warning the rogue was upset with everyone else in the group, downright furious. They were building a castle together and she was upset that the wizard and cleric wanted to put their gold together to make a larger temple to their demi-god. She was concerned that all gods should have equal number of followers. I tried explaining that you can't force people to worship or not worship certian dieties, but she wouldn't listen.

Okay.

Then she came to me after the game to tell me (yes, tell me) that she and the guy playing the paladin had found a large plot of land that they would build a house on (In real life). And she would sell me and my girlfriend a piece of the land for more than they were going to pay for the whole thing, help us build a house and then we would all have kids and they would all play D&D together forever and forever. She then went and told the rest of the group that this was happening and they were going to be happy about it.

Not okay.

The not okay part is no longer a gaming issue. Tell her out of game it's not happening, but you'd be more than happy to visit or let them host the game you run or something. You have to be clear about this. Even if she is one of your players, she can't force you to buy property.

That issue is more important than your game. If you can still play after having that talk, awesome. If she is unwilling to play unless you buy her land, cut your losses. They really aren't very big losses and odds are you would be bitten by her crazy again.

[Jornophelanthas]

Just a little bit of my advice. Please note I do not nearly know all the facts, so this could prove to be ineffective.

If the rogue player never brings it up again, just pretend it never happened.

If she does, then I second the advice to have a talk. However, when you tell her (politely) that you will not buy their land, make sure the paladin player is also present (and nobody else). Also, make sure he knows what you are talking about. (e.g. "Say, Rogue Player, remember the time you offered me to buy a piece of your land and be your neighbour?") If she backtracks, and says you misunderstood, let her correct you and deal with that. Do not let it turn into a conflict.

The paladin player's presence is not meant to persuade him that his girlfriend is insane or anything, but to have him witness that you said no. She will not be able to pretend you never declined her offer if he was there to hear it and correct her.

If everyone (including her) is willing to let it blow over after this, just continue playing. If not, then it is up to those who do not wish to play on with someone else to make this clear to the rest.

[Telonius]

Good advice so far. Only thing I'd add: this may end in spectacularly awful fashion, but you are unlikely to have the worst session ever. No matter how awful it gets, just remember: at least it doesn't rise to the level of Lanky.

[Psyx]

Don't bring it up, and see if she does.

If the mention of land comes up, be sure to thank her for the offer, but state that you do have other plans, in line with your career and that of your partner. Point out (politely) that they have their plans as a couple and you have yours. If she's enormously focused on her plans, then trigger some empathy with those via this comparative means.

Be courteous. There's no point arguing with friends, and less point arguing with those who have mental issues. If she's not listening to what you say, then there's no point causing friction over it.

It sounds like she's wrapped up in happy-couple-perfect-land. Either she's firmly dug in there, in which case it's not your business to 'spoil' that for her, and it'd be a bad idea to (because if it went wrong it would be all your fault). Or she'll let it go in a while at which point it having been 'a big deal' between you will cripple your relationship with her to some degree.

/Psychologist's hat

[MickJay]

Call of Cthulhu is a very simple system, and probably the most popular horror game out there (that's not focused on combat).

Other systems and settings that tend to favor role playing over combat are, for example, Victoriana, games using FATE system, more obscure (but quite good) Houses of the Blooded, and many, many more. Most of these would require you to buy a rulebook, though.

WoD (both old and new) can be run as mostly non-combat.

None of the above directly reward players for combat approach (experience is either awarded on a different basis, or the whole advancement scheme does not rely on XP).

[Telonius]

Call of Cthulhu is a very simple system, and probably the most popular horror game out there (that's not focused on combat).

Other systems and settings that tend to favor role playing over combat are, for example, Victoriana, games using FATE system, more obscure (but quite good) Houses of the Blooded, and many, many more. Most of these would require you to buy a rulebook, though.

WoD (both old and new) can be run as mostly non-combat.

None of the above directly reward players for combat approach (experience is either awarded on a different basis, or the whole advancement scheme does not rely on XP).

Probably posted in the wrong forum, but ...

Running a one-shot Horror campaign might actually be a good idea. Creep her out enough that she doesn't want to live with you anymore!

[Sipex]

I have a player who's kind of like this but not quite as nuts.

If my player is anything like yours the idea will fizzle out quickly and she'll forget about it.

edit: Lanky has it rough, and people just wouldn't let it go. Tsk tsk.

[hangedman1984]

Call of Cthulhu is a very simple system, and probably the most popular horror game out there (that's not focused on combat).

Other systems and settings that tend to favor role playing over combat are, for example, Victoriana, games using FATE system, more obscure (but quite good) Houses of the Blooded, and many, many more. Most of these would require you to buy a rulebook, though.

WoD (both old and new) can be run as mostly non-combat.

None of the above directly reward players for combat approach (experience is either awarded on a different basis, or the whole advancement scheme does not rely on XP).

I'm assuming thus was accidentally posted in the wrong thread

[Escheton]

I know its a bad idea, but how good is this plot of land?
If it's actually a good deal that has come to you in an unusual way, then it might still be a good deal...

[jpreem]

Still - running some Call of Cthulu games might help OP with the problem in hand.

[Tiki Snakes]

The next course of action seems clear.

Spoiler

Show

No, seriously, that's misery style creepy.

[Tetsubo 57]

I would recommend reducing your involvement with this woman as much as possible Do not try to change her mind or her boyfriend's mind. Do not engage her in any way. Limit all contact if possible. This woman sounds seriously unbalanced from what you have said. This sort of thing can turn ugly and very quickly get ugly. A game is not worth your health and well being. I am aoplogize if I sound alarmist. But if this escalates, it could be a bad thing. Record everything you can. Be very, very careful.