Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

**mootoall** · 2010-12-23, 07:15 PM (ISO 8601)

As is an antimagic field and a few beams of scorching death.

Anyone else have some nice D&D puns? I've seen the Giant's incentive comics, but what else does the Playground have to offer?

**Assassin89** · 2010-12-23, 07:39 PM (ISO 8601)

Creatures with collapsed arches always lose their dexterity bonus to AC and cannot make attacks of opportunity. Why? They're flat-footed.

**mootoall** · 2010-12-23, 10:13 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Assassin89

Creatures with collapsed arches always lose their dexterity bonus to AC and cannot make attacks of opportunity. Why? They're flat-footed.

Badum-Ching! Why was the fighter with custom Boots of Fire Breathing so slow? He was dragon his feet!

**The Glyphstone** · 2010-12-23, 10:14 PM (ISO 8601)

Why should you never upset a cleric of Garl Glittergold? Because he will show you gnome mercy.

**Dimers** · 2010-12-23, 10:19 PM (ISO 8601)

*snort* From what I've seen on this forum, it's dangerous to partake of something RAW. Better that it be (Monte) Cooked.

**mootoall** · 2010-12-23, 10:35 PM (ISO 8601)

{Scrubbed}

**T.G. Oskar** · 2010-12-23, 10:45 PM (ISO 8601)

When is a Beguiler even more of a Beguiler?

When he's a Beguiler Beguiler! Don't you love when the devs recycle ideas?

Will we see Bear puns? Or better, Fistbeard Beardfist puns? I...have no idea on what else to do aside from the upper one...

**Serpentine** · 2010-12-23, 10:55 PM (ISO 8601)

OH MY GOD I was just thinking of starting a thread along these lines. Mostly because I've had this one kicking around my head for ages:

Why did the stone giant's wife leave him?
Because he took her for granite.

**AtopTheMountain** · 2010-12-23, 10:58 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Serpentine

OH MY GOD I was just thinking of starting a thread along these lines. Mostly because I've had this one kicking around my head for ages:

Why did the stone giant's wife leave him?
Because he took her for granite.

He turned her into stone?

**T.G. Oskar** · 2010-12-23, 11:04 PM (ISO 8601)

Oi, I'm such a dunce! I have a good one; more smile than laughter, but hey, it's something!

Adamantine: The source of this rare metal (or is it compound?) is a mystery. Some say it's a damning metal, others that it's a material gotten from Adam ants (apparently Formians) and others claim it is a metal only given to successful males (because it's a "da man" tine, you see...)

Mithral: definitely a mythical substance. I mean, it has "myth" (albeit with minor grammatical differences) right on the name! It's also the material from which ecclesiastical miters are done with.

Cold Iron: this is iron, but cold. Just how cold? Ice cold? All we know is that it ain't hot, or else it would be hot iron. Cold iron loses its properties when subject to heat metal; hence, you create cold iron by taking any iron weapon and casting chill metal at it. Hey...maybe that's it? It's a weapon that has chill metal cast on it?

Which begs the answer to this question: what is cold iron? Iron under the effect of chill metal, of course!

Ironwood: a mythical material, part iron and part wood, perfect for golf drivers (since you get the properties of a wood and an iron). Increases the successes of birdies and eagles.

**hotel_papa** · 2010-12-23, 11:25 PM (ISO 8601)

Those actually hurt me. Inside.

**Dimers** · 2010-12-23, 11:58 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by T.G. Oskar

ncreases the successes of birdies and eagles.

So, still something only druids would be interested in?

**Grommen** · 2010-12-24, 01:02 AM (ISO 8601)

Next time someone asks you how many feats their character is supposed to have at Level X... Just tell them only two.

So if your buddy does not want to go adventuring with you today. Can it be said that he lost the initiative?

**AsteriskAmp** · 2010-12-24, 01:31 AM (ISO 8601)

The Construction Handbook for Wizards

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The key for the successful production of constructs is reading the instructions correctly. As such, one is to give proper care to every step, from the reading of the desired result, a vital step which makes a great difference in the result, since one would be producing the wrong product if read wrong. This can be demonstrated through the following example:

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-A FLESH GOLEM is: A ghoulish collection of stolen humanoid body parts, stitched together into a single composite form. No natural animal willingly tracks a flesh golem.

-A FRESH GOLEM is: A ghoulish collection of FRESH fruits, produce and tofu, magically joined together into a single composite non-salad, form. Natural animals search for fresh golems since they are a source of nourishment. A fresh golem lifespan can be prolonged by placing it on a fridge.

The complete guide can be yours for 1gp and 50XP.
Now available in your nearest supermarket, also look for it's sister publication, FRESH GOLEM'S a cooking guide to your favorite constructs.

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**Roderick_BR** · 2010-12-24, 06:48 AM (ISO 8601)

My two classic (one variation from the OP).

That sword may not be beautiful, but it's in the eye of the Beholder.

How many clerics you need to change a lightbulb? Only one, to cast "Cure Light".

Thread: Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

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