Long Signature Thread

[Haval]

Spoiler: Grimaldus' rant (Long Version)

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"Do you see that?"

(The Defenders are silent)

"I said... DO YOU SEE THAT?!"

(Still silent)

"ANSWER ME!"

(A few in the crowd says Yes sir)

(Grimaldus starts laughing maniacally)

"Are you all as insulted as I am? THIS is what they send against us? This RABBLE?! We hold one of the mightiest cities on the face of this planet. The fury of its guns sends all skyborne enemies to the ground in flames. We stand united in our thousands, our weapons without number, our purity without question and our hearts beating courage through our blood. And THIS is how they attack us? Brothers and sisters... A legion of beggars and alien dregs wheezes its way across the plains. Forgive me when the moment comes when they whine and weep against our walls. Forgive that I must order you to waste ammunition upon their worthless bodies. I have heard many speak my name in whispers since I came to Helsreach. I ask you now: Do you know me?"

(A few yes's are heard in the combination of Marines and Steel Legionnaires)

"DO YOU KNOW ME?!"

(Yes's get louder)

"I. AM. GRIMALDUS. OF THE BLACK TEMPLARS! A BROTHER TO THE STEEL LEGIONS OF THIS DEFIANT WORLD!"

(loud cheers follow but they aren't really that into it)

(Grimaldus kicks it up a notch)

"Never again in life will your actions carry such consequences. Never again will you serve as you serve now. No duty will matter as much and no glory will taste as true! We are the defenders of Helsreach! On this day we carve our legend in the flesh of every alien we slay! WILL. YOU. STAND. WITH. ME?!"

(thunderous cheering)

"WILL YOU STAND WITH ME?!"

(more thunderous cheering)

"Sons and daughters of the Imperium! Our blood is the blood of heroes and martyrs! They DARE tread the sacred soil of our world?! We will throw their bodies from these walls when the final day dawns!"

(ravenous cheering)

"THIS IS OUR CITY! THIS IS OUR WORLD! SAY IT! SAY IT! CRY IT SO THAT THE BASTARDS IN ORBIT WILL HEAR OUR FURY! OUR CITY! OUR WORLD!"

"OUR CITY! OUR WORLD!" - the defenders reply

(Grimaldus turns to face the horde of orks. Laughing)

"RUN ALIEN DOGS! COME TO ME! COME TO US ALL! COME AND DIE IN BLOOD AND FIRE!"

"BLOOD AND FIRE!" - defenders

"FOR THE TEMPLARS! FOR THE STEEL LEGION! FOR HELSREACH!"

"FOR HELSREACH!" - defenders

"LOUDER!"

"FOR HELSREACH!" - defenders

(the shouts have broken the glass of several nearby buildings)

"THEY CANNOT HEAR YOU BROTHERS!"

"HELSREACH!" - defenders


"HURL YOURSELVES AT THESE WALLS INHUMAN FILTH! DIE ON OUR BLADES! I. AM. GRIMALDUS. AND I WILL CAST YOUR CARCASSES FROM THESE HOLY WALLS!"

"GRIMALDUS! GRIMALDUS! GRIMALDUS!" - defenders

[Caerulea]

Hello, people of the future!
This is a repository of quotes, phrases, and other stuff that is a bit to long for my signature. It is a Long Signature^(R).

Spoiler: Other people

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"Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking), and your humility is stunning"

"In other news, yet another unemployed musician has been sighted entering the White House. He has been declared the Chief of Staff earlier this afternoon. The president has also declared the man to be officially 'awesome'."

Also, debate on whether 0.5+0.5=0 should perhaps be moved to another thread.

I saw this, got all excited to make a joke about Latin, and then realized it was already talking about Latin.

Threads are like cats. They go where they want, and never listen to what you want them to do.

Vampire may take Friend of Talky-Man's life, but he will never take Friend of Talky-Man's freedom!

"Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would probably have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

English: so broken, you technically cannot use it wrong.

Wrongly.

Optimisation stops being practical and starts being theoretical when your damage per round is measured in spiked gauntlets instead of hit points

With that kind of money, the Barber could upgrade his Dwarven Waraxe with magic to dispense shaving cream and hot towels! +2 Hot Towels for sure!

Although being realistic, what the playground would ACTUALLY do is find the guy, then explain to him how fireballs are suboptimal and help him pick more optimal spells for terrorizing people. And we'd probably argue over what alignment his terrorizing was.

Playing a wizard the way GitP says wizards should be played requires the equivalent time and effort investment of a university minor. Do you really want to go down this rabbit hole, or are you comfortable with just throwing a souped-up Orb of Fire at the thing?

Schrodinger's Rogue vs. Schrodinger's Wizard. One has the perfect spells for all occasions. The other, the perfect magical item. Who. Will. WIN?

Hint: It's the Wizard.

This just in, [option being discussed] isn't as powerful as [the most powerful options in the game]! [Build] loses out to Tier-1 persistomancy! News at 11!

[Advice to live by:] An apathetic person might be boring, but they're usually easy to get along with at least. It's the ones that give a damn about something that get unpleasant.

If you tell your audience there's a bomb under the table, and then your character gets stabbed by a killer clown, you don't win

Spoiler: Me

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Ask Caerulea, they look like they got it together.

Well, obviously, the answer should be Caerulea... but I assume that someone in the comic is the intent of the query... ;)

Caerulea also put it nicely.

Spoiler: Mafia + Message Board Games

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Sorry I couldn’t get on yesterday, personal stuff happened. Why are we lynching a boat?

The plan was whoever was lynched first would be declared as the head and the first one to vote for them would be the new head, and it would be passed on in the same way. Then you lynched a boat

Under my leadership, the Illuminati immediately emerged victorious.

It turns out the real April Fools were inside of us all along.

And I’m sure that time you Russian capybaras killed the narrator was strictly necessary.

"Xihirli was plotting against us!"
"Or was I!?"

Yes. Yes you were, and yes you are. You're plotting against us right now, aren't you?!

Either way, the only reason we tried to kill you was because we thought you were plotting against us. Which you were.

Spoiler: Outstanding Wagers and Debts

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I've bet Peelee a cookie (chocolate chunk) things turn out like this.

I scammed Peelee out of his gold.

100 quatloo bet with Lexical, about Belkar's look being related to not tripping the protection from evil glyph in 1152. I won!

I have 100 quatloos and 10 gold.

Old Avatars:



Wizard by Linkele

Black Cat by me.

I have a brute. It is here: caerulea.mybrute.com

[Fyraltari]

Shameless self-aggrandizing:

This, exactly.

FANTASTIC! OotS-ish even in the punchline.

This is why I love you.

Fyraltari pretty much nailed it.

I wish mods were allowed to give out fancy medals or something because I would give them all to you for that.

Specifically, sometimes I need to assure myself that out there there ARE still people who *get* ethics. In the way you do. Thank you for living.

Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with all of that and agree with Peelee and Fyraltari.

Generally the most entertaining result is gained that way.

Watching Fyraltari and Peelee argue is like watching mom and dad fight.

Other gems:

For people who say "they're just words, toughen up," y'all seem to have very strong reactions to a bunch of words on a forum and webcomic.

...

Oh gods, it's like reading twitter. Tolkien predicted Twitter.

Actually finishing a seven-book series of fantasy novels is a better dig at ASOIAF than any in-strip parody could be.

For second best elf I'd like to nominate Mablung who keeps showing up late for everything but never stops running, bless his soul.

Just a helpful hint: your complaints about the comic might be better received if you depicted it accurately! [...] Yes, the plot was written so that the villain would lose. What awful storytelling.

No discredited Victorian medievalist memes in this forum, please and thank you.

[samduke]

Samduke's Extended Signature

Links to games playing in.
Summers and Sorrows OOC Summers and Sorrows IC
Sea ooc Sea IC
Ashes ooc Ashes IC
DOD ooc DOD IC
Elephant ooc Elephant ic
infinite dungeon ic
Throrns OOC Thorns IC
Battletech ooc Battletech ic

[Squire Doodad]

Squire Doodad's Extended Signature: Because 500 characters runs out faster than you'd expect.

For the most part:
Purple is humorous descriptions made up on the fly
Green is serious talk about hypothetical
Blue is irony and sarcasm

Spoiler: Evidence to suggest the world is epic

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In an argument about morality, one man stood up to make beer puns.

Spoiler: Funny quotes!

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It shall be swift and ruthless. Unless any Ruths intend to join, in which case it shall be ruthful.

The moon is 11,398,464' in diameter. That would be 17 categories above colossal, for a whopping +84 to spot.

The distance penalty is minus over 250 million. You can not see the moon.

Spoiler: Deep, meaningful quotes that act as a commentary on the pointless universe we dare strand ourselves within

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I guess something Camus said?

Spoiler: Ideas I have come up with!

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What if you had french toast, but you dipped in pancake batter instead of maple syrup

Spoiler: Quatloo wagers

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Not a single one of these is going to be "collected". It's all just some silly fun on the forum, nothing more.

RatElemental owes me 1000 Quatloos

"I think, therefore I am,
I walk, therefore I stand,
I sleep, therefore I dream;
I joke, therefore I meme."
-Squire Doodad

[Arron Oberon]

Work In Progress Ext. Sig

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Emberport

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Nexus

Spoiler: Characters

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Spoiler: Animated Cloak

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Are :) or Cloak Or What have you

[Dimers]

Madness at Gardmore Abbey OOC, IC, combat tracker

Tearing of the Weave OOC, IC, William

Zelda OOC, IC, Nippi

Barons of the Stonelands OOC, IC, Umil

Dragonspear Depths OOC, IC, Jasper

Maze of Shattered Souls OOC, IC, Jhera

[SanguinePenguin]

Current Games:
PCs:
Tazmara "Taz" Stonesong in Ruins of Azlant

Old games:
DM:
Serpent's Skull
Perth

PCs:
Bors "Blackscar" Athieran in Wrath of the Righteous
Tamara Brockhouse in Carrion Crown
Atavian Goodbarrel and Tallox in Curse of the Crimson Throne
Krul (Andrethius Orlovsky) in Kingmaker

[Thurbane]

Lists/indexes:

List of Online Prestige Classes

Full BAB, 6+ Skill Points

List of Additional Epic PrCs

Epic Feats Outside the ELH/SRD

Weapon Finesse +

"Replacement" Feats

Those Pesky Req feats, and (Somewhat) Painless Ways to Get Them

Skills skills skills

Magic Item Slots For Various Creatures

Items for Nonhumanoid Creatures

LA +1 & LA +2 Player Race List

Monster Manual VI - Online Monsters

List of Goblinoids

List of Half-Dragons

Fiend Touched Compendium

Undead Adjacent Monsters

Lizardfolk Names

[Saintheart]

My Guides to Various Weapons in 3.5:

A Hand of Staves: A 3.5 resource for the Quarterstaff

A Subtle Knife: A 3.5 resource for the Dagger

A Bar Sinister: A 3.5 resource for the Bastard Sword and Katana

A Ballad for John Henry: A 3.5 resource for the Warhammer