Long Signature Thread

[Haval]

Spoiler: Grimaldus' rant (Long Version)

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"Do you see that?"

(The Defenders are silent)

"I said... DO YOU SEE THAT?!"

(Still silent)

"ANSWER ME!"

(A few in the crowd says Yes sir)

(Grimaldus starts laughing maniacally)

"Are you all as insulted as I am? THIS is what they send against us? This RABBLE?! We hold one of the mightiest cities on the face of this planet. The fury of its guns sends all skyborne enemies to the ground in flames. We stand united in our thousands, our weapons without number, our purity without question and our hearts beating courage through our blood. And THIS is how they attack us? Brothers and sisters... A legion of beggars and alien dregs wheezes its way across the plains. Forgive me when the moment comes when they whine and weep against our walls. Forgive that I must order you to waste ammunition upon their worthless bodies. I have heard many speak my name in whispers since I came to Helsreach. I ask you now: Do you know me?"

(A few yes's are heard in the combination of Marines and Steel Legionnaires)

"DO YOU KNOW ME?!"

(Yes's get louder)

"I. AM. GRIMALDUS. OF THE BLACK TEMPLARS! A BROTHER TO THE STEEL LEGIONS OF THIS DEFIANT WORLD!"

(loud cheers follow but they aren't really that into it)

(Grimaldus kicks it up a notch)

"Never again in life will your actions carry such consequences. Never again will you serve as you serve now. No duty will matter as much and no glory will taste as true! We are the defenders of Helsreach! On this day we carve our legend in the flesh of every alien we slay! WILL. YOU. STAND. WITH. ME?!"

(thunderous cheering)

"WILL YOU STAND WITH ME?!"

(more thunderous cheering)

"Sons and daughters of the Imperium! Our blood is the blood of heroes and martyrs! They DARE tread the sacred soil of our world?! We will throw their bodies from these walls when the final day dawns!"

(ravenous cheering)

"THIS IS OUR CITY! THIS IS OUR WORLD! SAY IT! SAY IT! CRY IT SO THAT THE BASTARDS IN ORBIT WILL HEAR OUR FURY! OUR CITY! OUR WORLD!"

"OUR CITY! OUR WORLD!" - the defenders reply

(Grimaldus turns to face the horde of orks. Laughing)

"RUN ALIEN DOGS! COME TO ME! COME TO US ALL! COME AND DIE IN BLOOD AND FIRE!"

"BLOOD AND FIRE!" - defenders

"FOR THE TEMPLARS! FOR THE STEEL LEGION! FOR HELSREACH!"

"FOR HELSREACH!" - defenders

"LOUDER!"

"FOR HELSREACH!" - defenders

(the shouts have broken the glass of several nearby buildings)

"THEY CANNOT HEAR YOU BROTHERS!"

"HELSREACH!" - defenders


"HURL YOURSELVES AT THESE WALLS INHUMAN FILTH! DIE ON OUR BLADES! I. AM. GRIMALDUS. AND I WILL CAST YOUR CARCASSES FROM THESE HOLY WALLS!"

"GRIMALDUS! GRIMALDUS! GRIMALDUS!" - defenders

[Caerulea]

Hello, people of the future!
This is a repository of quotes, phrases, and other stuff that is a bit to long for my signature. It is a Long Signature^(R).

Spoiler: Other people

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"Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking), and your humility is stunning"

"In other news, yet another unemployed musician has been sighted entering the White House. He has been declared the Chief of Staff earlier this afternoon. The president has also declared the man to be officially 'awesome'."

Also, debate on whether 0.5+0.5=0 should perhaps be moved to another thread.

I saw this, got all excited to make a joke about Latin, and then realized it was already talking about Latin.

Threads are like cats. They go where they want, and never listen to what you want them to do.

Vampire may take Friend of Talky-Man's life, but he will never take Friend of Talky-Man's freedom!

"Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would probably have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

English: so broken, you technically cannot use it wrong.

Wrongly.

Optimisation stops being practical and starts being theoretical when your damage per round is measured in spiked gauntlets instead of hit points

With that kind of money, the Barber could upgrade his Dwarven Waraxe with magic to dispense shaving cream and hot towels! +2 Hot Towels for sure!

Although being realistic, what the playground would ACTUALLY do is find the guy, then explain to him how fireballs are suboptimal and help him pick more optimal spells for terrorizing people. And we'd probably argue over what alignment his terrorizing was.

Playing a wizard the way GitP says wizards should be played requires the equivalent time and effort investment of a university minor. Do you really want to go down this rabbit hole, or are you comfortable with just throwing a souped-up Orb of Fire at the thing?

Schrodinger's Rogue vs. Schrodinger's Wizard. One has the perfect spells for all occasions. The other, the perfect magical item. Who. Will. WIN?

Hint: It's the Wizard.

This just in, [option being discussed] isn't as powerful as [the most powerful options in the game]! [Build] loses out to Tier-1 persistomancy! News at 11!

[Advice to live by:] An apathetic person might be boring, but they're usually easy to get along with at least. It's the ones that give a damn about something that get unpleasant.

If you tell your audience there's a bomb under the table, and then your character gets stabbed by a killer clown, you don't win

The entire playground took Latin in high school, looks like.

Spoiler: Me

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Ask Caerulea, they look like they got it together.

Well, obviously, the answer should be Caerulea... but I assume that someone in the comic is the intent of the query... ;)

Caerulea also put it nicely.

Spoiler: Mafia + Message Board Games

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Sorry I couldn’t get on yesterday, personal stuff happened. Why are we lynching a boat?

The plan was whoever was lynched first would be declared as the head and the first one to vote for them would be the new head, and it would be passed on in the same way. Then you lynched a boat

Under my leadership, the Illuminati immediately emerged victorious.

It turns out the real April Fools were inside of us all along.

And I’m sure that time you Russian capybaras killed the narrator was strictly necessary.

"Xihirli was plotting against us!"
"Or was I!?"

Yes. Yes you were, and yes you are. You're plotting against us right now, aren't you?!

Either way, the only reason we tried to kill you was because we thought you were plotting against us. Which you were.

Spoiler: Outstanding Wagers and Debts

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I've bet Peelee a cookie (chocolate chunk) things turn out like this.

I scammed Peelee out of his gold.

100 quatloo bet with Lexical, about Belkar's look being related to not tripping the protection from evil glyph in 1152. I won!

I have 100 quatloos and 10 gold.

Old Avatars:



Wizard by Linkele

Black Cat by me.

I have a brute. It is here: caerulea.mybrute.com

[Fyraltari]

Shameless self-aggrandizing:

This, exactly.

FANTASTIC! OotS-ish even in the punchline.

This is why I love you.

Fyraltari pretty much nailed it.

Fyraltari basically end the thread.

I wish mods were allowed to give out fancy medals or something because I would give them all to you for that.

Specifically, sometimes I need to assure myself that out there there ARE still people who *get* ethics. In the way you do. Thank you for living.

Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with all of that and agree with Peelee and Fyraltari.

Generally the most entertaining result is gained that way.

Watching Fyraltari and Peelee argue is like watching mom and dad fight.

My doubters will face an exaction.
You, however, shall be anointed as a priestess of the Mayflower.
I, Luna_Mayflower, do upgrade you into this new form with a whim!

100% agreed with Fyraltari.

Incredibly well said. Do you write essays? I would read them.

Other gems:

For people who say "they're just words, toughen up," y'all seem to have very strong reactions to a bunch of words on a forum and webcomic.

...

Oh gods, it's like reading twitter. Tolkien predicted Twitter.

Actually finishing a seven-book series of fantasy novels is a better dig at ASOIAF than any in-strip parody could be.

For second best elf I'd like to nominate Mablung who keeps showing up late for everything but never stops running, bless his soul.

Just a helpful hint: your complaints about the comic might be better received if you depicted it accurately! [...] Yes, the plot was written so that the villain would lose. What awful storytelling.

No discredited Victorian medievalist memes in this forum, please and thank you.

[samduke]

Samduke's Extended Signature

Links to games playing in.

hero ooc hero IC
Hell's Vengeance OOC Hell's Vengeance IC
Mega Dungeon ooc Mega Dungeon IC


bloodbowl 1
bloodbowl 2

[Squire Doodad]

Squire Doodad's Extended Signature: Because 500 characters runs out faster than you'd expect.

For the most part:
Purple is humorous descriptions made up on the fly
Green is serious talk about hypothetical
Blue is irony and sarcasm

Spoiler: Evidence to suggest the world is epic

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In an argument about morality, one man stood up to make beer puns.

Spoiler: Funny quotes!

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It shall be swift and ruthless. Unless any Ruths intend to join, in which case it shall be ruthful.

The moon is 11,398,464' in diameter. That would be 17 categories above colossal, for a whopping +84 to spot.

The distance penalty is minus over 250 million. You can not see the moon.

No reason to bother destroying it. The bugbears probably like it just for what it adds to the scenery.
Xykon has yet to destroy it by virtue of not being bored enough to burn a spell slot on it when there's work to be done.

Also, it's fun to draw on.

It is possible that there was no 8th level spell and he simply bluffed them.

Sorcerer Lich secretly makes the most epic Bluff check in the history of the setting and convinces paladins that they're homicidal lunatics now.

Spoiler: Deep, meaningful quotes that act as a commentary on the pointless universe we dare strand ourselves within

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I guess something Camus said?

Spoiler: Ideas I have come up with!

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What if you had french toast, but you dipped in pancake batter instead of maple syrup

Prototype rules for making earthquakes by smashing the ground

Spoiler: Quatloo wagers

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Not a single one of these is going to be "collected". It's all just some silly fun on the forum, nothing more.

RatElemental owes me 1000 Quatloos

I owe Max_Killjoy 10 Quatloos

"I think, therefore I am,
I walk, therefore I stand,
I sleep, therefore I dream;
I joke, therefore I meme."
-Squire Doodad

[Arron Oberon]

Work In Progress Ext. Sig

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Emberport

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Nexus

Spoiler: Characters

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Spoiler: Animated Cloak

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Are :) or Cloak Or What have you

[Dimers]

Tearing of the Weave IC, OOC, William

Zelda IC, OOC, Nippi

Horror in the Small Valley IC, OOC, Aranyel

Stranded in 1650 OOC, IC, Emlin

Scales of War IC, Dearie

Keep on the Shadowfell IC, OOC, map, Gagan

Strange Aeons IC, OOC, Nalgho (purple speech)

Otherworldly Mountain IC, OOC, Sivi

Flames of Turmoil IC, OOC, Rever

[SanguinePenguin]

Current Games:
PCs:
Tazmara "Taz" Stonesong in Ruins of Azlant

Old games:
DM:
Serpent's Skull
Perth

PCs:
Bors "Blackscar" Athieran in Wrath of the Righteous
Tamara Brockhouse in Carrion Crown
Atavian Goodbarrel and Tallox in Curse of the Crimson Throne
Krul (Andrethius Orlovsky) in Kingmaker

[Thurbane]

My lists/indexes: List of Online Prestige Classes List of PrCs with "nonstandard" levels Full BAB, 6+ Skill Points List of Additional Epic PrCs Epic Feats Outside the ELH/SRD Weapon Finesse + "Replacement" Feats Those Pesky Req feats, and (Somewhat) Painless Ways to Get Them Skills skills skills Guilds/Organizations list: part one | part two List of "Other" Summoning Spells List of Optional Material Components List of Ioun Stones, Figurines, Feather Tokens Magic Item Slots For Various Creatures Items for Nonhumanoid Creatures LA +1 & LA +2 Player Race List Monster Manual VI - Online Monsters List of Goblinoids List of Half-Dragons Templates That Don't Increase CR Type Change by Class, Spell & Feat Fiend Touched Compendium Undead Adjacent Monsters Lizardfolk Names

Other very useful lists, indexes, handbooks and links: Alternative Class Features Alternative Ways to Get New Class skills Appraise This! A Reference for the Appraise skill Arsenic & Old Lace: The Poison Handbook | Poison (the end-all information list with Poison lists) Best Feats of 3.5 Celestial Compendium Cleric Domain List | Cleric Planar Domain List Complete list of Innate Spellcasting Complete List of Languages Complete List of Possible Familiars (updated version) Comprehensive Deity Database Comprehensive List of Ways to Augment Attack Roll Consolidated Lycanthropy Guide D&D Adventures: A List of Obscure 1st Party Sources Enworld Creature Catalog Index Evasion Index Fey Compendium Fleshwarping: A List of Grafts, Symbionts, and Related Goodies Gotta Catch em All: Optimizing Wild Empathy Handbook of Feat-granting Items and Effects Hear Ye, Hear Ye: A Listen Skill Reference Increasing Size, Effective Size, Unarmed Damage, Reach List of All Prestige Classes That Progress Spellcasting List of Artifacts List of Feat Granting Items/Locations/Grafts Liste of Metamagic Feats [Metamagic and You: A Thesis] Lists of Every Playable Monster by ECL Lists of Necessary Magic Items Lists of Stuff Master +0 LA Race List III | Every playable race in 3.5 D&D without a level adjustment Mind Flayers, Beholders, and Aboleths Oh My Saboteur's Cookbook: Masterwork Disable Device tools Shax's Indispensable Haversack (Equipment Handbook) Special Materials Index Summoner's Desk Reference | d20 Stat Blocks for Summon Spells | Legal 3.5 Summonable Monster List Survival Skill Survival Guide The Library of Knowledge: Getting the Most out of Your Studies Tome of Battle Q&A Uncle Kitty's Guide to Template Based Shenanigans Vermin Handbook - A list of all vermin in 3.5 Visual Lies: A Reference for the Disguise Skills Ways to get Pounce or Free Movement Weapon Special Abilities Thread X Stat to Y Bonus

[Saintheart]

My Guides to Various Weapons in 3.5:

A Hand of Staves: A 3.5 resource for the Quarterstaff

A Subtle Knife: A 3.5 resource for the Dagger

A Bar Sinister: A 3.5 resource for the Bastard Sword and Katana

A Ballad for John Henry: A 3.5 resource for the Warhammer

[Schroeswald]

Schroeswald's extended sig, because he finally found something worth making it:

Funny Stuff

"A sufficiently big wedge of cheese is indistinguishable from an aircraft."

Doodad’s Law of Cheesery

"No. You get hit with the plot rock."

The main comic discussion thread is really where general Star Wars conversation should go.

[ziproot]

A sentence is sarcasm IFF it has a /s at the end.

See edits on almost all of my messages? It's because I'm a perfectionist and find flaws with what I'm saying after I've submitted my post.

Use colored text? These forums don't have a dark mode so I use an extension to make one. As a side effect, all non-formatted text is white, even if you set it as a different color.

Fact checking the crayon drawing in Start of Darkness

[H_H_F_F]

This is a list of my medal winning entries and my judgements of the competitions in which I've participated on these forums. Also included are some thoughts.

Iron Chef:

My favorite competition happens to be the one I'm worst at, I think. Still, I'm quite proud of the work I've done here, both as a chef and as a judge. Without further ado, here are my medal winning builds and my history of judgments.

Medalists:

In the Atavist round:
Kalshtar Jones, bronze medal and Anidina the Mad, silver medal.

The competition had very low participation, which is why I managed to sneak away with two medals. If we're being honest neither of these is very good - they're very early work, and I've learned a lot since the time I created these. Then again, I keep learning every day I'm on these forums, and hopefully I'll see my current work the same way some day. I'm still a big fan of the fluff on both of these though, especially Anidina. I think it's worth a read.

In the Tattooed Monk round:
Captain O, bronze medal.

Mechanically, this is probably my least favorite build I've ever created. It is basically the result of me being salty about my on inability to create a build that could score well and be interesting at the same time. I guess you could find something to like about this build, but to me, it is like the fluff I wrote for this one says: Captain O has no soul. Still, it won a medal, so it gets to be here, while Frough-Gee and Faderyn have to stay out. Such is life. As I'm writing these letters, this is the third and last build on the list for this competition; hopefully, there'll be more in the future.

Judgments:

Judging Psion uncarnate: This was my first time actually engaging with the competition. I had very little knowledge of the system at this point outside what has been translated to Hebrew (only the 3 core books and 4 of the completes) but I like to think I managed to do a good job despite it all. This competition featured 3 excellent builds, including Zaq's Tapestry Whale, which remains one of my favorite dishes ever submitted.

Judging Disciple of Mammon: Judging solo is very stressful, and that was a big competition. This ingredient didn't really bring out the best the chefs can do, in my opinion, but it did get us wide participation and a very diverse group of builds. I had to rank my favorite builds pretty low, and there was one incomplete entry I got genuinely upset with - partly because had it been completed, it would have swept the competition in my opinion. It also brought to my attention the urgent need for financial education among many of our esteemed chefs. How could you guys miss INFINITE MONEY as a class feature?

Judging Crimson Scourge (Part 2 is here): This was an excellent round, in my view, though I was not a fan of a couple of the builds. A lot of creativity on display. I recommend reading through these entries.

That's it for the Iron Chef (for now). Coming up next:

Villainous Competition:

I really admire this competition and what it's trying to do. There are so many rules and options we never get to use in other competitions, and this one lets us utilize them. However, it has some deeply set issues I'm not really sure how to solve. Mainly, it feeling too restrictive and not restrictive enough at the same time, and it failing to definitively answer one important question: Should a villain be CR appropriate, or as powerful as can be?

Still, I really like the VC.

Medalists:

In the Spooks and Spectres round:
The Ghost Next Door, gold medal.

My first time submitting an entry to the competition (my only time, when writing these letters) and I got a gold medal. Yay for me! At the risk of sounding boastful, I think I deserved this win. This was a Halloween round, and I really like my fluff here. My advice: DON'T READ THE CRUNCH BEFORE YOU READ THE FLUFF! I promise you, it's worth it. And... that's it. I don't wanna spoil anything.

Judgments:

Judging Yin and Yang: An open request for judges for this round is how I found myself joining the competition. People had a few grievances with my judgment of this round, but rereading it, I stand by it. Very small pool of entries, which is a shame - I thought the basic idea behind the competition was very cool.

Judging Sorta Pseudo: This competition featured some awesome fluff and a very diverse set of ideas, given how restrictive the ingredient seemed on the face of it. One entry was the obvious winner in my eyes, but the others were very well done as well. I really enjoyed judging this one, though I did delay a bunch.

That's it for the VC, for now. Up next...

IC: E6 appetizer edition:

I like E6 a lot. As you maybe know if you've read my posts on the subject, I'm a big low magic guy. E6 brings the diversity and comfort of 3.5 while allowing worlds which feel like classic fantasy settings. The competition, however, is hard for me. I find it very challenging to judge these entries, which is why (as of writing these words) I haven't. I found myself participating twice so far, and was lucky enough to win medals on both instances. I hope to participate more and judge this competition in the future.

Medalists:

In the signature spells round:
Braza, silver medal.

I thought I'd try to join this competition, but couldn't come up with anything. Braza came to me while fine tuning an NPC in my head during a walk in the desert. I PMed the chair asking for an extension and got her down as soon as I got home. She's unconventional, cool, and she does fine power wise. I like her, and I'm glad the judge liked her too.

In the Any Prior Ingredient Round:
Laerlor, gold medal

Whoof, I really messed this one up. Lucky for me, this was a high originality round, so I could sneak away with a gold medal I'm very happy with. I have a really clear image of who Laerlor is in my mind, and I like them a lot - which is why it's such a shame I didn't manage to write goof fluff for them. I ran out of time (like Braza, this was a last minute idea), and in the end I just wrote something I hoped showcased their unique approach to life. Mechanics wise, yeah, I messed up - but I'm still happy with the idea.

And... that's it, for now. Thanks for reading!

[Snowblaze]

Spoiler: Detailed WW/Mafia stats

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Red Atlantic Cruise - Coordinator of Russian spies (town with additional win conditions) - survived and won
SpongeBob Squarepants Season 100 - Mrs Puff (town)- survived and won
X-Mafia - Mystique (wolf) - survived and won
Midwest Mafia - wolf - survived and won
Harry Potter Werewolf - Albus Dumbledore (town) - killed night two for being the Seer - won
Crazy Idea - Survivor Seer - horribly murdered by Valmark,
Xihirli and Lord Athos for no particular reason night one - lost
Evil Villains Werewolf - Evil Mastermind (narrator) - died night zero - had no win condition
Beware of Bites - Redempted Cultist (town) - survived and won)
Jellicle Ball - Silhouette (town) - killed night one for failing at crazy plans - won
Dungeons & Doppelgangers - Wizard (town) - survived and won
Witch Hunt - Martyr (town) - left because of IRL stuff - technically won but not counted in my stats