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Thread: Long Signature Thread
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2016-01-24, 05:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Location
- Tennessee
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
Last edited by legomaster00156; 2018-08-25 at 11:38 AM.
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2016-02-04, 08:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
- Location
- Le Mans, France
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
Some builds :
Snow White, the First Lich - not submitted - Villainous Competition II, Nature's Revenger
Obelix the Gaul, Menhir Crafter - Bronze medal - Ridiculous Character Concepts 2: Slam-Dunk!
JonRa’mbo - Gold medal - Ridiculous Character Concepts 2: Slam-Dunk!
Kakarotto the Saiyan Whelp - no medals - Iron Chef LXXII - Spellfire Channeler
Dartakaussirixen, the White Flame of Hate - Silver medal - Villainous Competition VIII, The Weather is Frightful
Soot the Planar Thief - no medals - Iron Chef LXXV - Thief of Life
Scar the Lion King of the Serengeti - Silver medal - Villainous Competition IX: The Power of Villainous Thinking
In, The Undead Laboratory - Honorable Mention - Villainous Competition XXVII: Multiple Personality DisorderLast edited by JyP; 2018-07-30 at 06:20 AM.
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2016-02-05, 01:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2015
- Location
- Gone
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
Nothing to see here.
Last edited by GnollOfErathis; 2016-03-05 at 07:52 PM.
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2016-02-19, 08:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
Current Games
Keston Tornok for GF's Age of Worms IC-1 IC-2 OOC-1 OOC-2 Loot Loot2 Belgareth's Loot Table
Loradralsornux for GF's Savage Tide IC-1 IC-2 OOC-1 OOC-2
Avakuss for kinem's Planescape: Center of All Recruit IC OOC
Sgt Ladaran Xiloscient for MrAbdiel's D&D-Day: The Ballad of Echo Company Recruit IC-Naphto-Beach IC-1A-Beach-Nightmare OOC WW2 with D&D Rules
Ganzak for Toliudar's Coming Unstuck Recruit IC OOC
Sora Solaran for MikelaC1's Good Strikes Back. Recruit OOC IC
Spoiler: Spell list for Sora
Level Name Type Components Range Duration Area Save SR Metamagics Description 0 Acid Splash Att 0 Detet Magic 0 Disrupt Undead Att 0 Light 0 Ray of Frost 0 Resistance 1 Accuracy 1 Burning Hands 1 Chill Touch 1 Expeditious Retreat 1 Fist of Stone 1 Grease 1 Hail of Stones 1 Lesser orb of acid/cold/electric/fire/sound 1 Mage Armor 1 Magic Missile 1 Magic Weapon 1 Obscuring Mist 1 Produce Flame 1 Shield 1 Shocking Grasp 1 True Strike 2 Acid Arrow 2 Bear's Endurance 2 Blades of Fire 2 Continual Flame 2 Eagle's Splendor 2 Fire Trap 2 Fireburst 2 Flame Blade 2 Flaming Sphere 2 Fog Cloud 2 Fox's Cunning 2 Glitterdust 2 Gust of Wind 2 Ice Knife 2 Protection from Arrows 2 Pyrotechnics 2 Resist Energy 2 Scroching Ray 2 See Invisibility 2 Shatter 2 Sound Burst 2 Web 2 Whirling Blade 3 Call Lightning 3 Daylight 3 Dispel Magic 3 Fire Shield 3 Fireball 3 Flame Arrow 3 Greater Mage Armor 3 Greater Magic Weapon 3 Ice Storm 3 Haste 3 Keen Edge 3 Lightning Bolt 3 Poison 3 Protection from Energy 3 Ray of Exhaustion 3 Resonating Bolt 3 Ring of Blades 3 Searing Light 3 Sleet Storm 3 Slow 3 Stinking Cloud 3 Vampiric Touch 4 Arcane Eye 4 Black Tentacles 4 Blast of Flame 4 Blistering Radiance 4 Contagion 4 Dimension Door 4 Enervation 4 Hallucinatory Terrain 4 Mass Resist Energy 4 Orb of acid/cold/electricity/fire/force/sound 4 Pantasmal Killer 4 Shout 4 Solid Fog 4 Spike Stones 4 Stoneskin 4 Wall of Fire 4 Wall of Ice 5
Spoiler: Game GraveyardI've never withdrawn from a game. If anyone wants to start these back up, just let me know.
Braqsh for J-H's E8 Through the Gates IC OOC Recruit
Zoran for Clockyard's A Second Chance IC OOC Recruit
Blossom, Orc Vampire Warblade for Kish's Knot of Thorns OOC
Djanriss, Goliath Dragonborn Warblade/Swordsage for 9th Company OOC
Kosnark Stoneblood, Dwarf Warblade for A Simple Adventure OOC
Serea Sankor, Human Crusader for Ambriosia of the Gods
Zentko Ungart, Dwarf Ranger/Fighter for Dungeon Crawl Olympics
Zentorgo Ungart, Dwarf Cleric for Through the Worldspine
Gaalak 'Skyleaper' Ogolakanu, Winged Dragonborn / Goliath Warblade/Crusader for Tearing of the Weave (character not picked)
Joloken, Human Arcane Archer for Lentrax
Mezzark Brankin, Human Warblade/Arcane Swordsage for Wander Inn
Rigar Goldfoot, Dwarf Fighter/Warblade for Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Saadkul Valorn, Human Sorcerer/MotAO for Snake Pit OOC
Vankril Barak, Deep Dwarf Warblade for Atsull - Thael
Earthshake Ssulkill for GF's Dark Sun Redux IC OOC Companion: Guldun
Jaszak Jaszo for GF's Up Yours, Atropus! Recruiting IC OOC
Suga for Kish's The Sunless Citadel - IC1 IC2 OOC1 Map-L1 Map-L2
Nazir for lacco36's [Riddle of Steel] Soldiers of Fortune OOC OOC2 Arena Group-Stats Map IC
Kricen for J-H's Complex of Doom IC2 OOC2 IC OOC Recruit Journal
Javartis Stangle for Ghostfoot's E6 Red Hand of Doom IC OOC Recruit
Semult Suntoz for Kish's Wrath of the Righteous IC OOC Recruit
Vosnak for Kish's Way of the Wicked IC OOC Recruit Psicrystal
Cendrik for J-H's Servants of the Thrallherd IC OOC2
Dakron for J-H's Seus IC OOC Recruit
... Plus many more that I never got around to updating this list.
Spoiler: Dragon Wild ShapeBased on CL15 Good Druid
Type
Age Size From Nat
ArmorSTR DEX CON Speed Immune Abilities Breath ALL Sleep
ParalysisBlindsight: 60'
Keen Senses
Darkvision 120'Line 60 ft, Cone 30 ft Brass Juv M MM1 +12 17 10 15 60
Burrow 30
Fly 200 poorFire
Cold vulnNone Line of fire, 4d6, DC18
Cone of sleep, 1d6+4 rounds,
Will DC18, any HDBronze Young M MM1 +11 17 10 15 40
swim 60
fly 150 poorElectricity Water Breathing
Alternate FormLine of lightning, 6d6, DC18
Cone of repulsion gas, 1d6+3 rounds,
Will DC18Copper Juv M MM1 +13 17 10 15 40
fly 150 poorAcid Spider Climb Line of acid, 8d4, DC19
Cone of slow gas, 1d6+4 rounds, FortDC19Fang Young M MoF41 +8 15 10 15 60
fly 120 poorNone Enlarge Damage
Trip
Sound ImitationBite: CON Drain 1d4 DC14 Gold Wyrm M MM1 +7 17 10 15 60
swim 60
fly 200 poorFire
Cold vulnAlternate Form
Water BreathingCone of Fire 2d10, DC16
Cone of gas, 1 STR Damage, FortDC16Silver Young M MM1 +12 17 10 15 40
fly 150 poorAcid
Cold
Fire vulnAlternate Form
CloudwalkingCone of cold, 6d8, DC18
Cone of paralyzing gas, 1d6+3 rounds, FortDC18Song Juv M MoF44 +13 15 10 15 40
fly 150 poorElect
PoisonTrue Seeing 15'
Tongues
Alternate FormCone of Electrical Gas, 8d6, DC19
Spoiler: Dragon Wild Shape Gem DragonsBased on CL15 Good Druid
Type
Age Size From Nat Armor STR DEX CON Speed Immune Abilities Breath ALL GEM Sleep
ParalysisBlindsight 60'
Keen Senses
Darkvision 120'
Planar Travel: At will
Fire 15 ResistLine 60 ft, Cone 30 ft Amethyst Young M MM2 +11 17 12 15 40
Burrow 20
Swim 10
Fly 150 poorPoison Force Resistance
StompLine of Concussive Force, 6d8 (can choose subdual), DC18 Crystal Young M MM2 +10 17 10 15 40
Burrow 5
Swim 40
Fly 150 poorCold Cone of brilliant light, 6d6 (and blinded 1d4 rounds), DC17 Emerald Young M MM2 +11 17 10 15 40
Burrow 5
Swim 60
Fly 150 poorSonic Cone of Sonic, 6d6 (Fort extra or deafened 1d4+3 rounds), DC18 Sapphire Young M MM2 +9 15 14 15 40
Burrow 10
Swim 10
Fly 150 poorElect Spider Climb Cone of Inaudible Sonic Energy, 6d4
(Will extra or panicked 1d4 rounds), DC17Topaz Young M MM2 +12 17 10 15 40
Burrow 10
Swim 10
Fly 150 poorCold Water Breathing Cone of Dehydration, 6d8, DC18
Last edited by Cavir; 2021-12-29 at 02:13 PM.
Spoiler: GamesKeston Tornok for GF's AoW
Loradralsornux for GF's Savage Tide
Avakuss for kinem's Planescape: Center of All
Sgt Ladaran Xiloscient for MrAbdiel's D&D-Day: The Ballad of Echo Company (WW2 with D&D Rules)
Ganzak for Toliudar's Coming Unstuck
Extended Signature - More detailed game/character notes
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2016-02-22, 04:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- A Pub Near You
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
Want to guess and know more about the Monster in the Darkness, aka: the MitD?
Well, just click on him!
Please read all of the rules before commenting, just helps cover what we've covered thus far. Also, spoiler alert!
Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
DMing:
Current Games:
Samael, Half Elf/Half Demon Avenger
by Dakaran
Arkin, Aasimar Warlock
by Gorgon_HeapLast edited by Irish Musician; 2020-09-23 at 03:06 PM.
My Extended Signature, Check it out!
DMing:
Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
LGBTA+ Ally
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2016-04-15, 07:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
My extended signature, which has links to all the cool games I've done. More will be added as I go:
Zodi Plays: Sproggiwood (Adorable rogue like/genocide plot)
Zodi Plays: The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword (The Legend Begins/Sword Wife Adventure)
Zodi Plays: Super Mario Sunshine (Yo it's time for a hell vacation)
Zodi Plays: The Legend of Zelda The Minish Cap (living hat shouts at small child)
Zodi Plays: Momodora Reviere Under the Moonlight (So many adorable death cries!)
Zodi Plays: The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (Adventures in early 3D video games)
Zodi Plays: Fire Emblem Path of Radiance (Fighting for friends, etc etc)
Zodi Plays: Call of Juarez Gunslinger (High Noon Joke Goes Here)
Zodi Plays: Kirby Nightmare in Dream Land (Dreams Missing! Cause: Rude Penguin)
Zodi Plays: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles (Road Trip to Save The World)
Zodi Plays: Power Rangers The Movie (The good Genesis one no one knows about)
Zodi Plays: The Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker (Wet Breath of the Wild)
Zodi Plays: Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus (Furry Crime Adventure)
Zodi Plays: Psychonauts (This One Time, At ESPer Camp...)
Zodi Plays: Furi (It's Time To Wake Up)
Zodi Plays: The Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass (I specifically asked for LESS water)
Zodi Plays: Tactics Ogre The Knight of Lodis (Crime-Island Adventure)
Zodi Plays: Kirby's Dream Land 3 (Pink and Blue Power Hour)
Zodi Plays: Dishonored (Angry Dad Simulator)
Zodi Plays: Custom Robo (Redesign Your Robo, We Know What We're Doing)
RWBY Tuesday: RWBY Grimm Eclipse and maybe other RWBY things!(?)Last edited by LaZodiac; 2021-03-08 at 06:49 PM.
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2016-04-19, 02:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- On the "Web"
- Gender
Calling this one for mine
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
My first campaign(that never actually got of the ground(for now anyways...)) had them on the road to a town and enter the town square being attacked by undead.
I happen to be double-jointed in the correct places to freak people out. But it is hell to pop my back or stretch anything.
Characters: too many to list, most haven't even seen play or died when we got off track of the campaign and started a new game. Will try and put them down at some point in time.
Homebrew Sig Thread: Here
Mammals scare the crap out of me (sadly, humans are included to a much lesser degree), but I've learned to dial back my reactions to them over the years. However I absolutely love invertebrates and reptiles, as can easily be seen in my homebrewing habits when designing creatures and, to a lesser extent, races.
Youtube Channel: Noctus Does Things
Favorite Sayings:- "Trust me"
- "Don't worry"
- "I know what I'm doing"
- "Super Ballz OP Plz Nerf"
- "That is not a Mary Sue. My character took her into the back room of the bar last session "
- "(After any form of possible campaign-ending mishap) You wake up in your chambers..."
More info on my eye annoyance from when my mom looked into it when I was younger: "He might have bene ditiatism because his pupils are always dilated and has pain in bright light, but I'm not sure."
I am GMT -6:00 (Central US Time Zone) and nocturnal living in a small town that runs on the "9-5 and closed on sundays" time schedule, please kill me.
Glad to be here, I'm prone to random spurts of motivation and ideas. It's almost completely random when I'll be online or contribute anything (even less likely if it's of value), but I'll try to get back asap if messaged.Last edited by Aniikinis; 2019-01-18 at 10:09 AM.
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2016-05-10, 07:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Israel
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
A few projects of mine:
1. Campaign logs archive:
A slowly growing collection of campaign logs. Check it out, throw me a line if you wish to add yours.
2. Campaign planning log- Nature of The Beast:
A log dealing with the process of planning and designing a campaign. Slowly updated.
3. Monster Compendium for the maligned, forgotten & misunderstood monsters:
A monsters compendium that focuses on monsters not often used, trying to focus on making them interesting, worthwhile, with a place in the gaming world. (Not updated in awhile, but open for discussion.)
4. Tactical Mass Combat rules (Not the Paizo strategic battle):
A homebrew attempt to create mass combat rules on tactical level, not a strategic level. Using regular combat grid. Been tested on a few battles (Wrath of the Righteous conversion), with quite decent results. (Not updated in awhile, but open for discussion.)
My campaign logs:
1. Dangerous line of work- A Shadowrun 4th edition campaign journal, player's POV:
The latest log, in which we try the Shadowrun game, with a group mixed from new and veteran players. Lots of laughs, taunts, and such, as well as a fairly detailed look to the system, from the look of new players.
2. Wrath of the Righteous, DM's POV:
A very detailed log, including many adjustments/ alterations and discussions on the campaign and it's design. Played up to nearly the end of the fourth module (The Midnight Isles), level 15/ Mythic Tier 6. Includes many ideas for improvement, and suggested sound tracks on the second post. (25 Sessions in total).
3. Experiences with an apocalyptic FATE core campaign: GM's POV:
An attempt of a group that never played with the FATE rules before for a game. Includes discussions from the GM's point of view. Complete- 10 sessions.
4. Many Facets Of Darkness, DM's POV:[3.5, Eberron]
My first attempt at DMing my group. My first log. An "Eberron light" campaign, including "behind the screen" view and discussions. Complete- 24 sessions.
5. It began with a Crash!
A campaign log from a player's view point this time, in a homebrewed world, with very funny and entertaining game and dialogue, in a heavily house ruled game. (Also- lots of pictures! ) 10 sessions.
Various musings on Roleplay and Real life:
(From most recent to least)
1. Thoughts upon the role of roleplay in my life:
Self analysis and contemplation, of the role of roleplay in my own life. Quite serious, mostly personal. Do with it as you wish...
2. When real life imitates Shadowrun:
An amusing/ interesting real life story/ anecdote.
3. Leveling up in the real world- A humorous story?
Just a funny little tale!
4. For a friend of mine...
On a more serious note, for the friend who introduced me to RPGs, and has passed away...Last edited by Kol Korran; 2016-06-25 at 12:47 AM.
Check my extended signature
Including:
1. Special projects:
Campaign logs archive, Campaign planning log, Tactical mass combat Homebrew, A unique monsters compendium.
2. My campaign logs:
Three from a GM's POV, One from a player's POV. Very detailed, including design and GMing discussions.
3. Various roleplay and real life musings and anecdotes:
For those interested, from serious to funny!
Thanks for reading!
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2016-05-14, 07:59 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Location
- Uusimaa
Re: Long Signature Thread
Iron Poet and the Tale of Sassy Miss FinnLassie
~~~~
Rawhide commits plagiarism
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Gentlefolk's Chocolate Club
Join the Gentlefolk's Chocolate Club - Join the correct way of life!
Three Laws of Chocolate & Basic Etiquette for Correct Consumption of Chocolate
~~~~
These Quotes Have No Flaw In Them
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To Frontier and Beyond
IC - OOC
~~~~
Follow me on last.fm - I'll follow you backLast edited by FinnLassie; 2018-12-03 at 12:16 PM.
Originally Posted by LaZodiac
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2016-06-20, 07:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
- Location
- Sewer maze
Re: Long Signature Thread
Black Socks' Extended SignatureSpoiler: Quote Collection
Spoiler: Personality Quiz resultsI am a True Neutral Elven Wizard (1st Level)- STR 9, DEX 9, CON 9, INT 16, WIS 12, CHA 10
Me? Scattered and unpredictable? No......
Spoiler: My homebrewEverything is for D&D 5e unless stated otherwise.
Catfolk- A race
The Generalist- A class, made as an April Fool's Day joke, should be treated as such
Spoiler: Werewolf stuff
Spoiler: Games played inPhantom of the Opera WW IX: Digital Phantoms Role: Police (Mason), killed Night 6, my team (Town) lost
April Fool's WW: The Cabalistic Carnival Replacement Night 1, Role: Human Cannonball, (Town Leeroy Jenkins), sacrificed myself Day 3, Game Fizzled
Duck Season II: Firing Back Role: Decoy Duck (Town Voider), lynched Day 3, my team (Town) won Replacement Night 4, Role: Lumberjack, I (Neutral) won
Drowlbearwolf I- Generic Drowlbearwolf (Wolf), My team (Wolves) won
Spoiler: Play-by-Post stuff
Spoiler: Ranking the smilies from favourite to least favourite, 'cause why not1.
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My current bet in the OotS death pool: O'Chul ("MR. STIFFLY, NOOOO!!! I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE MOTIVATION TO TURN AGAINST TEAM EVIL AND REVEAL MYSELF!!!")
Help Bookt0wn grow!
Awesome Rebuttal
Quartermaster of the good ship O-ChOona (Oona+O'Chul)- Joined July 8th, 2016 (ship launched June 3rd, 2016)
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...R-OOTS-edition
Ever wish you could express your favourite 5e class or sub-class as food? Well, we've got you covered!Last edited by Black Socks; 2016-11-13 at 09:13 AM.
Spoiler
Gaze upon my extended signature and bow! Or just, y'know, give it a high five. That's OK too.
Any set of pronouns are OK when referring to me.
Gone like the wind.
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2016-06-22, 04:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- San Francisco Bay area
- Gender
Re: Long Signature Thread
Grim specter of noogie hangs like shroud over us all
Snazzy Avatar by Honest Tiefling!Spoiler: Quotes, rants, and a SPELL!https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rWVeZx2IP30
I'm 'sarcastic, but not that sarcastic'
Carthago delenda est!
Originally Posted by Elan
The so called "Elves" of the surface were exiled there for being insufficiently badass, where the day star bleached them!
Drow the original ElvesWhen it comes to surface dwelling so-called "Elves", as the Drow well know, "Elvish" and "lies" are redundant!
Learn the truth
D&Dland was a "Tippyverse". That's why the realms are littered with ancient ruins filled with magical artifacts that no one currently makes.
There was a grand Magic based civilization once.
Then the magic stopped.
The ruins of the Ancients all around, in the wastelands and underground shows the truth!
Long ago the Elves
used up all the magic causing the fall of their civilization!
Over-use of Magic in one place leeches the Mana from the Earh, leaving desolate wastelands in it's absence!
The ancestors of the Elves having squandered all the magic fled underground burrowing deeper and deeper to find usable Mana, settling the Underdark as they went.
A few remnants stayed on the surface learning to survive in a world without magic. Yes humans and orcs! The Orcs who infest the ruins are the savage descendents of the Elves too stupid to leave. We humans are the descendents of those who didn't hide underground, or stupidly stay amongst the ruins, but instead pioneered new lands and made new tools.
Why else would it be humans who invented the crossbow, the plow, sailing ships, and windmills? Only in times without Magic would anyone bother to build such things! That's why so many of us still toil on the land and in our smithies, instead of just learning Wizardry, were not too stupid to learn Spellcraft! Nay, deep in our souls we feel the warning that it can't last!
That is why these tomb robbing Adventurer's have lately been finding magic items littering the ruins. For centuries there was insufficient environmental Mana for those items to be worth picking up!
That is why there are Sorcerers now born among us when previous generations had none!
The return of Magic to the wastelands is why suddenly all these magicsl monsters now infect our lands! Do you think our ancestors could have survived long if they'd always existed?
We have forgotten and grown soft!
We must conserve what Magic is left and learn from the Gnomes ways to make wonders without the Arcane arts. Too much reliance on and use of Wizardry will doom us!
We must learn to grow our on food and distill water, without relying on Create Food and Water Spells, and if these Magic-User's continue to waste the Magic away in trivial goals, we must learn to fight off without spells, the bears, wolves and other beasts that threaten us, else we fall to claws and fangs!
The truth is out there!
Heed the warnings!
Take these pamphlets and spread the word before it's too late!
[/RANT]
Love it!
(I hope it becomes someone's Sig!)I want to "homebrew" Elves/Fairies/Sidhe that are different ftom the usual Elves in Tolkien's LotR and most Dungeons & Dragons settings.
I'm posting two threads on the same topic because I haven't decided what rules system I want to use, and I'm asking for rules mechanics "crunch" suggestions to match my world building "fluff".
The seperation of evil Drow"Dark Elves", from good Tolkien style "Light" Elves, just doesn't seem to fit the British folklore collected by Katharine Briggs,
I want to have the "Fair Folk" be an apt metaphor for capricious weather, nature, and how the "gentry" treat the peasantry.
You may be blessed and rewarded, but you may also be whipped and hanged.
Besides stories from before all of us were born (unless some of the "good neighbors" are reading this, I beg.your pardon, and I set out the saucer of milk your lord and ladyship's!),the best representations I've seen of how I want to portray"the goodly one's" has been the novel and short stories of Poul Andersin, Susanna Clark, and Sir Terence David John "Terry" Pratchett, OBE.
Originally Posted by Lord's and Ladies
PBP's
Last edited by 2D8HP; 2020-12-27 at 12:55 PM.
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2016-06-25, 04:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
- Location
- Within 2 range increments
Tosd archive
Temporarily dumping the first five parts of TOSD until I can find somewhere else to put it.
Spoiler: 1. Drohungard
Well of course the home of the drow (literally "dark") elves would have "dark" or some variation thereof in its name. Otherwise, how would anybody be supposed to know that we lived there? We couldn't have somebody just wandering around expecting some jolly (read: drunk as a badly-planned analogy) dwarves, sly but ultimately cute gnomes, or even, Nevakin forbid, surface elves! Shocked gasp! Thems! Ohhh nooo!
Of course given that this is an at least slightly forward-thinking continent we happen to have the (mis?)fortune of living on, we wouldn't dream of being racist, oh no. No racism involved here, of course not.
It's just fact that the surface elves were scheming bastards who drove us out of our lands and into the caves that we live in for no particular reason other than expansionism, or maybe even just racism. Yeeaahh... that makes sense. It's just them what're being the racists!
It's 'cus they's surface elveses. That's why. Them surface elves is always racists. All of 'em...
say any acquainted with the history of the drow with no apparent irony.
As a cave, as a natural formation, it's nothing special. Just a large area where, for one reason or another, rock has rather noticeably failed to appear. As a city with things like architecture and windows, it's the same kind of story. Just a place that defies the outside by not having a severe lack of buildings. We're a functional race, for most intents and purposes. Those are our houses: a lack of nothing. You have to be functional, practical, when you've no contact with the outside world and the main gain in life is to personally gain the favour of Nevakin. There are thousands of us; I hardly think she's going round with a clipboard going "ohh, Na'cine hasn't finished her history homework: minus three favour points." But that's religion, and for the time being, at least, we're stuck with it. It's not like atheism or anything else could ever gain a foothold in all the dogmatism going round. I mean, half our idioms mention her in one way or another.
Politics-wise, it's a complete web of lies and deceit that you could just unravel by thinking something along the lines of: "well, Ker'anson gave me his quote unquote guarantee that he'd have my back if we were ever up against Ci'vaula, so the one thing that can be guaranteed is he won't." It's astonishing that nobody's ever thought of actually telling (shock gasp horror) the truth for once, so people think the opposite.
There are a grand total of 64 ruling houses, although if you want to talk in terms of actually wielding any significant power, it caps out at about a dozen. The rest are either just fragments, remnants, descendants or the ghosts of previous houses, or a new upstart house planning to single-handedly revolutionise the system, or the gov-apostrophe-t, or the "freakin' universe, man". As the proud Secondborn Son of the Almighty 57th House (in, rather obviously, descending order) I can boast having exactly zero power. Hell, I doubt if anyone had ever even heard of the house, let alone a boy - and a second one at that!
We managed to gain this glamourous (read: W-list) lifestyle by eliminating threats not when they attacked, or when they were still dormant, but before they had even thought of being a threat. Somehow, it's worked and House Asmodean is amongst the greats, if only to nab all the cocktail shrimp backstage. We are probably known as the only house which, in a language seemingly centred around the apostrophe (or 'postrophe if you will - and they will) has a name which lacks one. The fact that we'd only have our house recognised from pub quizzes is not lost on us, and most of us spend our days jostling for whatever power percolates down from the top. I never really participated in this affair, if only because I really couldn't be bothered with it all, and had better things to be doing with my time - that is to say, anything else. But it really shouldn't have come as a surprise that despite wanting to get involved as little as possible in the matter, the matter was, slowly but surely, involving me.
In the way that most things that bring utter despair to those involved happen, it all began on a Monday. I could go on about how it brought my whole world crashing down upon me, but in reality my hold on drow politics was already tenuous at best. At the very least, I doubt Nevakin would ever care what rank of son you were if, either way, you were part of one of the least powerful houses in existence. I'm a practical man, and I'd much rather be not dead than a soon-forgotten martyr to whatever cause I could be said to follow. So when my elderbrother turned up with a crossbow, there wasn't much point in staying. I would like to stress at this point that I was to be killed because I might try and have him killed at some point in the future
So I left.
Not a big thing, I mean, I had been contemplating just packing up and jumping ship for a while now and this was just the final push I needed. I made decent progress the first day, not really running to anything, since the geography we'd been taught could be summarised as "thems be evils above; don't go there", but running away from the place where I was wanted dead. I'd forego a master plan in favour of just not being killed.
Spoiler: 2: The King's Guards
The next day was a Tuesday, so it was bound to be better. Of course, practically anything would be better than a simultaneous near-death and near-Samath experience. Unfortunately, it started with a near-Amnestria experience instead, and it took a long time for me to work out which was preferrable. Whatever physical details could be described were wiped out of my mind in favour of the more pertinent detail: the arrow she was pointing at my face.
"And what might a drow be doing in these parts?" she spoke, acid behind every word.
I spoke the truth, if only because I had no frame of reference for any alternatives. "Um... not being assassinated by my brother?"
A quizzical look was the only response.
"Does that count?"
Before she could respond with any semblance of coherence, she was interrupted by a man in a suit of armour. "Halt!" came the automatic panacea of a greeting, despite the fact that the only one who had been moving for the past two minutes had been him. "Who goes there?" he added, despite the lack of going Amnestria and I were clearly showing. "Alsoifyoucangetthebowanarrowoutofthedrowsfacethat wouldbenicethankyou" he spluttered, his traditional avenues of speech failing him completely.
Thankfully, she did so, and turned to face the newcomer. Before she could get a word in, though, he interrupted yet again. "I... I think you should come with me."
Several confusing minutes later (the contents of which are thankfully lost to my memory) we suddenly found ouselves in the company of a dwarf and a human couple. Also we were apparently now new members of the King's Guard, and were going to rid the world of some nezume bandits.
I turned to Amnestria. "How did we--" I started, but was summarily interrupted by the cap-apostrophe-n.
"SILENCE on duTAY!" he screamed at the top of his voice, as if the element of surprise was giving him a severe allergic reaction. We approached a clearing, where several bandits were gathering, and for the life of me I can't tell what might have alerted them to our presence-- oh wait.
"Yer munnay ur yer laif!" announced the bandit. He was a nezume - a rat-man, for want of a better word. His tail flicked menacingly, his teeth bared.
"(Magic missile)," I whispered, sending a sudden burst of arcane energy towards the bandit who was clearly more prepared for defending against more physical attacks. He crumpled against the wall of a tent.
"Screwthisimnotgettingpaidenoughforthiscrap," he growled as he scarpered from the scene, one of the couple in pursuit.
The rest of them were surprisingly quick to deal with - a well-placed sleep spell took out half of them, the dwarf's axe taking out another. Amnestria barely had time to draw her bow before they were all dealt with. Two minutes later, they were all tied up and led to the nearest jail. "A gud day'sh werk," the commander said, nodding severely at us, before walking back to his desk.
"We were only out there for twenty mi--" the elf started, but was quickly silenced with a well-placed kick.
"A good day's work," the group's ranger repeated emphatically, glaring at her.
"For a good day's pay?" I ventured, wanting something to fill the hole in my pocket.
"Yesh," he admitted, going for one of the drawers in the desk. "Ern hunnert gawld peesees fehr thi itch if yi," his accent growing with every word. "Guud werk terdiy, see yi termahrrah."
Apart from a translator, that was all we needed, so we headed back to the nearest inn to turn in for the night.
I mean, it was half three in the afternoon but screw it. I was tired, Amnestria was tired, and her wolven companion that she had inexplicably decided to name "Squishy" was tired.
It would turn out that we would need all the sleep we could get, because around half-past-reasonable, we were awakened by a well-placed nip from Squishy. There was the unmistakeable sound of somebody trying not to make any. I readied my crossbow and pointed it at the door, and Amnestria braced herself on the opposite wall.
The intruder didn't come in by the door, rather, through the chimney and into the (lit) fireplace. He tumbled out, slapped at a part of his belt that had caught fire, and bared his teeth, waving his three - three! - swords, one in each gloved hand and one grasped by the nezume's tail.
I wheeled around and fired my crossbow, but the aim was off, and the bolt looked set to hit Amnestria instead! But the bolt deflected off one of the nezume's swords, sendng sickly viridian sparks flying off the blade. It plunged into his skull. He shuddered as he collapsed, and a sickly smell rose almost immediately from his corpse.
"What were those swords?" Amnestria gasped, not moving from the back. I moved to pick up one of the fallen swords, but as my finger touched the leather-bound hilt, a sickening nausea hit me an sent me sprawling, heaving. I looked back at the innocuous sword (or, at least, as innocuous as an instrument made for killing can look) and prepared to cast a spell. "Det..." I began, but my knees weakened and I fell to my hands. "Detect Magic."
The room was bathed in a cool glow, and each of the three swords gave out a blinding aura: a blackness so black, a lack of light so dark it seemed to suck out all the light from around it, an aura that could only belong to an - or indeed, three - items of overwhelming necromancy. I blinked the spell away and slowly crawled towards the corpse of the assassin, and removed his gloves. I put them on - evidently, gloves must be able to dispel or deflect the aura coming from the swords, or else the nezume would have had to defeat us with his vomit - and tried the sword again.
Nothing, thankfully. I kicked the corpse into the corner and put each of the swords, one by one, in the corner. Try as we might, neither of us could focus on our trance for the rest of the night an the bags under our eyes were all to visible when dawn came.
Spoiler: 3.Northbound
The next day, we brought the corpse (and with it, many enquiring stares) to the police headquarters. We had already decided to keep two of the swords - after all, it would just get locked away and with us they might be at least useful.
"Is this usual?" I demanded of the commander. "Being attacked in the middle of the night by a nezume assassin carrying a sword of overwhelming necromancy, I mean."
He blinked once, twice, three times. Seeing no immediate response, I heaved the corpse onto his desk, disturbing the various ornaments and paperweights that littered the desk. He protested little. "We managed to deal with him, o'course," I said, matter-of-factly, despite the fact that Amnestria hadn't moved for the whole battle.
"Um, um, um... good work!" he stammered. Not even his accent wanted any part of it. "Bu... but we, uh, wouldn't want, er, any additional, say, liabilities to our team..."
"No, I bet you wouldn't," I said dryly.
"So, em," he continued, apparently inventing new interjections with each breath, "we're gonna hafta let you go."
Frankly, I still wasn't sure what manner of thing we were being let go from, but that hardly seemed to matter. I turned to leave.
"Wait, wait. O'course, we can't exactly let this sword keep hanging around here, can we? It might get stolen, and then where would we be? I'd be happy to take it off your hands."
Which he promptly did, and similarly promptly chucked up his half-digested breakfast unceremoniously onto the corpse.
"You, uh, might want to wear gloves," I advised, to cover up the elf's giggling. He hurled once more to emphasise his point. I took it that it was probably time to leave the city, and Amnestria seemed to agree, as did the remnants of Old Aunt Betsy's Rummerdump 5a.m. Special that were slowly but surely sucumbing to gravity. "Damned drow and his damned swords," we heard the previous owner of the 5a.m. Special moan as we showed ourselves out.
"So whewe now?" I prompted, knowing somewhere between next to and basically nothing about geography (besides the oft-mentioned "thems be evil, don't go there" that I felt was being debunked with every waking second on the surface) and hoping that Amnestria would know any measure more, which, for someone who had spent an entire century on the surface, surely shouldn't be hard.
So, at her request, we made for "that stall place, Stallter or summat like that" after a quick helping of Old Aunt Betty's Rumblebelly 8a.m. Special.
After around six hours' walking, we chanced upon a little clearing that the road to Stallter (apparently) cut through. We also happened to chance upon its current inhabitants: five kobolds gathered around a campdire, all of which looked quite disgruntled at having their rest disturbed. One of them shouted something indeterminable at us which I could only guess to be a generalised curse. Then, the lead looked more carefully at us, then yelled something at his comrades and levelled a contraption at us. I quickly stepped away from its line of fire (which was more or less whichever way its long barrel looked to be facing) and attempted a sleep spell on the group. Two of them flopped comedically to the ground. However, transfixed by the intricate markings on the kobold's gun, Amnestria stood still, exactly in the line of fire of the lightning bolt that shot out of its barrel. Shaken back to reality, she readied her bow and fired an arrow at her attacker, which bounced harmlessly off the lead's sheathed halberd and away from battle.
The remaining three kobolds charged, slashing furiously (in both senses of the word) at us and roaring in triumph as they all missed. Squishy charged in climatically from the fray and tumbled into one of the near kobolds, knocking it into another, also placing itself (thankfully) between the lead kobold and the elf. I fired my hand crossbow, but as the bolt soared through the air, he managed to fire off another shot which didn't bother to stop with just Squishy but went through it to its master, too, who collapsed in a heap, unconscious. The bolt hit, though, and the lead kobold tried to fire off another shot, but he had underestimated the thing's weight and fired during the turn, neatly taking care of a third kobold, as Squishy savaged the fourth. A final shot from my hand crossbow finished the leader off, and the battlefield fell silent, bar Squish's panting, which immediately, as if on cue, turned into a mournful howl for its master. I managed to bandage up Amnestria's wounds to a reasonabe degree, before hiding her behind a bush. I ran the 10-or-so kilometers back to town, and, having procured the correct wand, hurried at a similar pace back towards Amnestria. Waving the wand in a random pattern, I attempted to cast the spell.
After another two minutes, the wand had been retrieved from its new home (embedded in a nearby eucalyptus at the other end of the grove) and this time, its spell was cast correctly. Groggily, the elf woke up, gloved hand immediately shooting to the hilt of her sword and finding it, thankfully, still there.
"You... you saved my life," she whispered. "But you're a drow... why would a drow..." she shook her head as if to clear the cobwebs that had gathered there in the last few hours, and at last took note of her surroundings.
"Wait, why is it dusk already?" she demanded, eyes widening at the sight of the already-setting sun. "What did you do?"
"I was running all the way back to town to buy you this wand and save your life, that's what," I replied matter-of-factly.
She stood up and wrapped her arms around me. "And here I was thinking all drow were evil," she confessed, tears forming at the corner of her eyes.
"That'll be 45gp," I reminded, feeling the chilling glare immediately. "I'm chaotic neutral." She sighed, and reached for her purse.
Spoiler: 4: Stahltor
By the time we arrived in the town actually called Stahltor, the next day had already dawned. We made our way to what I had been assured was a place where we could buy and sell the things that the Iron Empire didn't exactly want bought or sold. It wasn't long before "overwhelming necromancy" was on the lips of each and every patron of this service.
That evening, we were approached by an interested party. As usual in these sorts of exchanges, no names were given. If I recall correctly, they were Death, Sauron and King Arthur. We were something along the lines of Fat Man and Little Girl, despite none of the adjectives being remotely true. We haggled for a good half hour before coming to an agreement - 4500gp for each sword, and an additional 500 for the "secret" of how to "unlock" the mysterious "powers" safely. I handed the swords over, and Death grabbed the handles eagerly, before immediately keeling over - and dying.
"The secret is wear gloves," I smirked before darting behind Squishy. King Arthur charged for us immediately, greatsword held high, with a roar of "I knew we shouldn't have trusted a drow!" The wolf bore the grunt of it, but not before I loosed a shot from the kobold gun I'd picked up from the roadside. The burst of (some form of) energy seared the air as it travelled, before hitting the knight square in the chest. Only enraged, he slashed visciously at Squishy, who managed to dodge the hits. The elf launched an arrow at Sauron, who hadn't participated yet, bar searching his comrade's wallet. He wheeled around, moving his mace to try and block it, but he was too slow and the arrow sunk in.
In a furious rage, he launched a spell of burning hands at us, which singed a large portion of her hair but otherwise did nothing. I fired another shot from the gun, and Amnestria did the same with her bow, having formed a battle strategy along the lines of use your most powerful attack on the most powerful enemy, which, given the circumstances, wasn't as hare-brained as what she usually came up with; although, for those not blighted with the haranguement of being Amnestria, that isn't the most difficult of concepts.
As Arthur charged once more, I lowered my halberd and gingerly thrusted it at him. As it connected, a bolt of energy shot straight though the blade and into the same spot the previous hit had opened. And then there was one - Sauron, who was promptly and savagely savaged by the savage Squishy.
The alleyway fell quiet, and the reality of the past minute or so started to sink in. We had killed people who had, to all intents and purposes, had no intent or purpose to kill us. It wasn't self-defense. Hell, it probably wasn't even manslaughter.
It was murder.
"Murder..." I whispered to myself, as if the wind could catch the word if it were any more substantial and thrust it back at me in some kind of protagonistic double-take. "We just murdered three innocent..."
"Ha!" Amnestria cackled, triumphantly. "Keep the swords and the money! How didn't you think of this sooner? Evil or not, you drows sure have some good ideas."
I regained my common sense hastily and reclaimed my sword from Death, careful not to meet my Rumblebelly 8a.m. special a second time (you never know).
"Look at this!" a shriek came from the left. The elf was holding up King Arthur's breastplate with a considerable mass of King Arthut's breast still attached to it. "You've only gone and put a hole in it. I was going to use it as armour for Squishy!"
"Alrighty then," I declared with as much sarcasm as physically possible, "we'll just go and take him to the local priest who'll raise him back from the dead and then we can kill him again without scratching the nice shiny armour then. Let's do that."
She sighed and rolled her eyes, as if this plan of mine was thoroughly below the standards she expected of people - and which, I hastily wish to add, she had met perhaps only once or twice in the course of her life so far. "But the armour will still be scratched!" she explained wiith a voice as condescending as humaly possible. "Use your head next time, ok?"
My palm met my face within a matter of milliseconds.
Spoiler: 5: The Broadwater
In the night, something happened, announced by a quick nip from Squishy. If it was morning already, it was the small hours where nothing good could ever possibly happen. So familiar was the premise of being woken up while in an inn at half-past-reasonable that I already knew Amnestria would be at the back of the room in shock and that I would be aiming my hand crossbow in the general direction of (for lack of a fireplace) the door. However, it wasn't an assassin this time.
In fact, the Stahltor City Watch had turned up at the inn we were staying at, demanding that certain magical shortswords were to be confiscated. Apparently, the Iron Empire had ruled at some ancient time that magic weapons were a "danger to the citizenry" and a "threat to the fabric of society" et cetera, et cetera, so an edict (or act, or proclamation, et cetera, et cetera) was issued stating that all such items were to be confiscated and summarily locked up in a steel tower (which gave the city its name) until the end of time, or they became non-magical once more, whichever came first.
There was no real possibility of fighting back this time, and I highly doubted I'd get in as lucky a shot as the previous early-morning encounter, so we decided just to go with it. After all, being in low esteem (to say the least) with one city watch was bad enough. We handed over the weapons - reluctantly, in the case of Amnestria - and paid a small fine for their possession. I thought it prudent to tell them to wear gloves before they tried taking them, instead of after.
So of course, we had to leave the Iron Empire. Too many things had happened there, and at least one of them was bound to come up and bite us later. That morning, we made for one of the towns that dotted the banks of the great river, the Broadwater - so called because it was broad, and had an unmistakeable watery quality about it.
I had already crossed it once, on my adrenaline-and-fear-fuelled sprint away from Drohungard, and crossing it back again would lead us closer to Dunkelheim, the samll drow town above ground with which wares could be traded between my kin and the "thems be evil" surface folk. I didn't know anyone there, having spent all of my life up until Monday living in Drohungard, but there were easy ways to traverse from one to the other, all the while staying (as most drow preferred it) underground. There was a ferry available to take, and for a small fee, it would take us the mile or so across the Broadwater and drop us off at the town on the other side. As we sat on a rickety bench on the similarly worringly rickety craft, we mulled over our options.
"So we can't go to the land of elves, because you're a drow," Amnestria started.
"And we can't go to the land of drow, because you're an elf," I reminded her. Not that her race would hinder her at all there - it wouldn't have a chance to before her observance skills comparable to that of a partially-sighted muskrat finished her off. She'd never see the blade that would inevitably end her life in the underbelly of Dunkelheim (or just the belly of Drohungard) - and she probably still wouldn't if it had been stuck between her eyes.
"We can't go to the land of goblins - and if we do, we shouldn't stay long, 'cause of the papwerwork," the elf remarked, bringing me (regrettably) away from visions of her timely demise.
"Paperwork?" I parroted, incredulously. The few goblins that had come to Drohungard iun the past hadn't exactly been bureaucratic, to say the least. Inebriated if you were being kind.
"You'/ll find out soon enough," she said, "since the only place we can go is the land of dwarves, and we'll have to go through Grûmfeld to get to it."
"But aren't there dwarven towns near the Broadwater?" I asked. I knew enough to know that dwarves were on the far side of Grûmfeld from us, which meant the great river would line its eastern border. No town would be by the river but have nothing to do with it.
"Bah!" the cap-apostrophe-n of the HMS Ten Planks of Wood splurted, interjecting himself into the conversation with as much subtelty as a sledgehammer. "None o' 'em bastards've gotta port!"
Apparently, dwarf towns would be by the river and have nothing to do with it.
End of Session 1.
Spoiler: things in which I used to be involved before i was claimed by the great pestilence of examsThe One Sane Drow (Vergil: Drow Sorcerer 5, CN)
The Uprise (IC/OOC) (Ker'anson: Drow Arcane Spellcaster 4, NE)
Running Total Of Things I've Critically Hit That Jormengand Didn't Want Me To Critically Hit: 3
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2016-07-09, 06:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2015
- Location
- Earth-89
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2016-07-10, 10:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
Re: Long Signature Thread
Genius idea tbh, weird I haven't seen these around more often
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2016-07-23, 07:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- Location
- Next to the Mandolinist
Re: Long Signature Thread
You know?
I just realized that I don't have an extended signature.
I would make this post in rhyme, except I can't think of a word that rhymes with "signature" that fits in without feeling awkward.
Anyway. This post is now part of my signature. It will be linked to shortly.
Spoiler: Cycle of Quotes
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful,
more simple or more direct than does nature, because in her inventions
nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous." ~Leonardo da Vinci
Literary/gaming/etc factions I'm associated with
Hogwarts: Slytherin (12" Apple wood with unicorn hair core and slightly yielding flexibility)
HEX: Also Slytherin (Hag Hair, Hornbeam, 13 1/2 inches, Left Hand)
Ilvermorny: Thunderbird
Patronus: Stoat
Divergent Factions: Amnity
D&D Alignment: Chaotic Good
Magic the Gathering: Red/Green/White (tricolor) and Green/White (two color)
Meyers-Briggs: ENFP
D&D Class: Some impossibly weird combination of Bard, Ranger, and Paladin
Five Elements: Water
Humoralism: Sanguine
Homestuck classpect: I got Muse of Life, but unfortunately I know nothing about Homestuck, so.
Blood Type: B+
Stories/things/etc that I show up in:
GitP Regulars as...
a chaotic Red/Green/White MtG card: Jeudi, Soul of the Sonata by Blue Ghost
an undying Red MtG card: Mahonri Violinist by Amechra
a vestige of strife, terror, and injustice: Mahroni, the Violist by Zaydos
Stories
Chronicle of the D War by Blue Ghost (mostly)
Paladin Academy by Silver Raptor
Tales from the House of Glass by Rabbit
Structured Games I've been in
Probably I'll fill this one out later
Nexus Characters
Most of them
Harley Zorzo's Backstory: Honor, Freedom, Betrayal, Lies, Change, Fallen, Pain
Harley Zorzo's Backstory: The Seven Decisions
Spoiler: Probably where I'll put avatars
Probably I'll have them here, the ones that I've used before that I made and feel like putting here and that I can still find
Made-on-Computer for fun
Photography/Pencil and paper for fun (Majora's Mask made by my sister)
Made using Doll Divine for whatever reason
For avatar theme weeks
Made based on roleplaying/SMBG/etc
Wow, I had forgotten about most of these avatars; I need to cycle through them more.
Last edited by 5a Violista; 2017-04-16 at 02:32 AM.
Favorite sports:
Fencing
Football (Soccer)
Figure Skating
(and basically everything else that starts with 'f')ALSO! Come roleplay FFRPG in the Nexus!Nexus Characters.
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2016-08-31, 04:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
- Location
- Within 2 range increments
Re: Long Signature Thread
Spoiler: 6. Transit Permit
We were dumped uinceremoniously on the other side of the river and went about finding the road south. There was no telling whether Samath had come up near Dunkelheim to finish the job or not. Certainly, he wouldn't have taken my "if you want me gone that bad, I'll just go" at face value. Inevitably, obviously I was hiding in the shadows somewhere, waiting for him to let his guard down so I could bring my plans forward and usurp his position. I'mm a drow; I certainly wouldn't have been telling the truth to him. How insulting that I'd think him that gulliable. With drows - especially with him - "the truth" was something that the other side wanted you to think, when the reality waas something completely different. Thankfully, we managed to give both him and Dunkelheim a wide enough berth and, as we trekked towards the border with Grumfell, we didn't encounter him.
We were greeted at the border post by a goblin with white-stained chain armour and a look about him that suggested he took far too much pride in his work. After a lengthy questioning - mostly pertaining to "yer gonna stir up trouble?" and "yer sure yer not gonna stir up trouble?" - we were granted a transit permit, which allowed us to three days in the (Grand Democratic Republic of the Nation of) Grumfell on the premise that we'd be crossing it, and no more. We finished Friday in an inn in Inningsford, a small thorp around halfway down through the country.
I'd anticipated it this time, and managed to wake up before Squishy took a nip at my hand. A huge crash followed, wresting Amnestria from her sleep. "What in the--"
A troll lumbered past the window, smashing a hut into pieces. Hurrying downstairs, the scene was no better. Half of the wall of the inn's wall had been torn apart, leaving only the sturdy load-bearing pillars. Glass fragments littered the floor, and the corpse of the owner who had unwisely decided to confront the beast lay mostly unrecognisable across the room. The rest of him hadn't made the journey and had instead impaled themselves on glass shards sticking out from the table. Cautiously, we moved around the destruction and out into the open street. Amnestria gawked at the sight of it, flailing its arms around in a careless melée of destruction as it lumbered steadily on towards the woods. I readied the bronze sights, but stopped.
This wasn't our fight. If I had been locked up like that, well, a little revenge destruction's only healthy for the mind. I went back to (what remained of) the inn to collect our things.
Unsurprisingly, we were contacted later that morning for a retrieval mission. Apparently this troll was property of the thorp which used it for gladiatorial purposes (the troll's regenerative powers meant it could be utilized as an animate punching bag) and to train the soldiers to fight for some goblin king - against other soldiers fighting for some other goblin king. Politics!
After a nondescript breakfast we set off with a cohort of four of the most trained goblins in the direction of the troll. Even with Amnestria's amazing(ly horrible) observation skills, it was hard to miss the trail of destruction in the form of upturned cairns, broken trees and the occasional splatter of troll blood. We found it lying in a clearing a few miles out from the thorp, scratching at its belly, blissfully unaware of the six forms slowly advancing on it. It had hundreds of pounds on us, but we at least had tactics and the element of sur
"Oh my god it's hideous!" shrieked Amnestria with all the tact of a small mentally retarded lemming.
prise.
Spoiler: 7. There And Back Again
The troll lumbered towards us, probably unaware it had just been complimented. I raised the gun (it clearly was our business now) and fired. The reset of the battle was a blur of shouting, flashes of light and the ever-present roar of the injured troll. The next thing that comes easily to mind is us heading back to the thorp with an unconscious troll being dragged unceremoniously behind us. Periodically, one of the goblin soldiers would gingerly stab at it with his halberd, to keep their regenerative powers from suddenly becoming useful and necessitating that we fight the battle once more. In no mood to use up any more of my ever-decreasing spell slots, I nodded my approval and went about clearing my mind of the accumulated cobwebs and trying to figure out what had happened. Nothing came, so I set my gaze back on the horizon where some rather helpless-looking shacks were slowly drawing closer.
The troll had taken more out of the thorp than I had first seen – around half the houses had been damaged in some way by the troll and two had completely collapsed. For their sakes, I hoped they had figured out a better way to secure it. In thanks, we were gifted with a strange artefact that had come into the hands of the villagers a while back – a sword that caused sickness in those it touched. I looked at Amnestria, knowingly. This was – since it was impossible that the swords from Stahltor had gotten from all the way over there to all the way over here – yet another of these swords, so at the very least, there were four in total. Yes, that's right, four overwhelmingly necromantic swords of doom – and there very well might be many more. After all, it's not like we had somehow come across the only four in existence; if we had, then the laws of probability would just give up and we'd both be struck by lightning. Perhaps it had been steered this way by Nevakin – but of course, there was Amnestria. Even if she wasn't an elf, she was absent-minded to the tune of impaired, and I was a runaway nobleman without an evil alignment. Surely there must have been someone, anyone more qualified for gathering overwhelmingly necromantic swords of doom than us.
Thankfully, she had the sense to keep quiet about our previous adventures with the swords – who knows what might have happened if she'd opened her mouth once more. I graciously accepted the award and, as we had been completely spent, worked on rebuilding what we could of the inn so we could safely stay the night there without having it crash down upon us (or, given the stability of the lower walls, having us crash down upon it). A sufficient number of hours later, we (as well as around twenty goblins, which seemed to be the entire population of the thorp) had jury-rigged the walls of the inn so that we could be reasonably comfortable with staying the night in it. The next day, we set out, and were promptly approached by – of course – another group of goblins with another side-quest for us.
Apparently everybody wore the colours of the house they supported around these parts – the troll had some blue-stained loincloth – which dictated which village things belonged to. Weaponry and wares traded between the two, if they were at all, would be hastily re-stained upon purchase. They hadn't gotten around to re-staining the troll's loincloth, which meant that the troll was still officially property of the blue faction, as opposed to the green one that had gifted us the sword. We were to – of course – jury-rig the chains holding the troll (which had done such a good job so far) so that the troll could escape and meet back with its owners further south down the road.
Before I could poke any holes in the system of “it's my colour therefore it's mine”, Amnestria, who was clearly picking up the strategies of the neutral alignment, demanded: “And what would our reward be for releasing this troll?”
The lead (or at least, the one who seemed to be in the lead) grunted, “We have weaponry. A nice little enchanted sword for yous if we get our troll back.”
Of course.
There were five of them, weren't there.
Spoiler: 8. Troll Wrangling (Part II)
So of course we decided to go through with the plan. The overt heel face turn we were to pull regarding the troll hardly seemed to matter (and I, for one, wasn't about to complain about getting more of these swords), and it's not like we ever held any allegiance to either side, green or blue. We turned around and headed back towards Inningsford.
At this point, most narrators would detail something about how the town had changed since the protagonists had been and went, but it was only a matter of hours and it was completely unchanged, except for a small detail of general builders who were cutting timber for a new wall for one of the houses. From a distance, behind the cover of a shrubbery, we discussed tactics.
“If at all possible,” I began, “we should avoid being seen. I'd rather get the troll out as quickly as possible and avoid any confilct that could see mys–” I stalled slightly, and rephrased my argument as to not seem as self-centered, “that could see any of us harmed. Calming a troll ought to be difficult enough, and there's no way we could do it if we had dozens of goblins breathing down our necks.”
The majority of the goblins agreed to this – with the frankly pitiful amounts of experience they had managed to obtain before having their animate punching bag stolen, none of them would come out of any scuffle with the locals unscathed, and there was a serious posibility of one of them dying. As for myself, I had a wand I could use (hopefully without it attempting to forcibly rejoin the tree it was hewn from) to cure any light wounds incurred, and Amnestria, being a druid, had multitudes of spells I would have to assume she had prepared and could use if the need arose. But even so, obtaining the wounds in the first place would hurt, and despite there being magic to cure them, I'd rather not have to cure anything in the first place.
“Any objections?” I ventured, sure that nobody would suggest otherwise.
“You sure we couldn't rough 'em up a bit, teach 'em a bit of a lesson?” came an arrogant voice from the left. “Theys were the ones what stole our troll, theys should be the ones what get our blades!” He was quickly shushed by one of the older goblins, who was thankfully aware that there were green-aligned goblins only a hundred or so feet away.
“You'd likely get their blades in return, which I'm sure you wouldn't want,” I warned, and before he could object with more gratuitous bravado, the conversation concluded. “Let's go. And remember: no witnesses.”
Confident that my instructions would be heeded, I motioned towards the arena in the centre of town. The builders were all focused around a blueprint laid out on a table, and didn't even notice the clanking of Squishy's armour as they argued with each other on the specifics of the task.
The arena wasn't really an arena per se, as a rough circle of cobbled stone wall about thirty feet in radius centred about a ten-foot pillar, to which there were rusted iron shackles attached by some similarly rusted pegs, to which there was a rather irritated troll attached by virtue of having its hands trapped in the shackles. Using some prestidigitation, I managed to loosen the pegs, which hadn't been securely fastened to the pillar any further than being allowed to rust into it. It was a testament to the troll's (lack of) intelligence that he hadn't figured out he could have escaped any time since being brought back that morning by just tugging on the shackles and walking out. It's not like twenty mostly untrained goblins would have been able to provide significant opposition.
Alerted by the sound (and also by the drow and elf beside it) but unable to recognise us through the mystical power of not having enough brain cells to store the events of yesterday in any detail more than “rampaged, slept, knocked unconscious, in arena”, it grunted quizzically: what were these silly creatures doing?
In response, I pointed to a spot on the ground a dozen feet or so in front of it. “Stand there,” I said, recalling Samath's way with the rothe back in Drohungard (it feels so far away now, like a dream fading into the ether). He never acted like he was telling the beast that he was clearly better than it, he acted like both of them already knew that and it was obvious anyway, and this all could be over much quicker if you'd just obey this instruction. I wouldn't hurt you, you're a valuable resource and they're a pain to replace. Go on.
The troll attempted to step forward, oblivious to the fact he was tethered by thick iron chains to the pillar. He halted, surprised, then furrowed his brow to the extent that troll brows can be furrowed, and attempted to walk forward one more time. Again, he was stopped by the shackles.
“Stand there,” I repeated, more emphatically this time. Gosh, it's not so hard, it's just standing in a place, for the love of Nevakin. It's not like I'm asking you to scale the peaks of western Grumfell or master a complicated spell, it's just standing there. Don't make this harder than it really needs to be, I thought you were better than that.
The troll glared at the spot I had motioned to, as if he could somehow teleport himself there by examining it closely. He took stronger steps this time, more determined. The pegs tore themselves out of their former home in the pillar, and the troll stumbled forwards. It was free. It scratched its belly nonchalantly, then began to walk towards the exit.
Where, alerted by the noise, five green-aligned goblin soldiers had suddenly appeared, infurated that the troll should escape two days in a row.
Spoiler: 9. Nobody Will Notice
There wasn't much for it, so full-blown combat ensued. With all the agility I could muster, I leaped up and whispered into the troll's left ear something I hoped a creature such as him could understand - “get them” - and hoped for the best. To my delight, he grunted, and trudged into the fray, sending one of the green goblins flying into the air and, quite quickly, the arena wall, where he slumped to the ground, unconscious. Amnestria decided to unelash a barrage of arrows into the fray; all that could be said about it was that at least a fifth of the arrows hit some form of goblin. Of course, it seemed they were rather too busy to take issue with any pretense of friendly fire. The blue goblin youth who had spoken up previously seemed to be taking more joy in this than was strictly healthy, but he was at least getting the job done. I readied a sleep spell but realised that – with my aim, at least – I'd only hit the ones on my side. Instead, I climbed up onto the wall and took my station near the entrance, watching to see if any others would intrude on the battle.
And of course others would – others couldn't exactly ignore the commotion going on. In fairness, I had neglected to tell the troll to be quiet, but I wouldn't want him to obey at the expense of forgetting the first instruction. I lowered the kobold contraption and fired a shot, hitting one of the squad square in the chest. He crumpled and I attempted to hide behind a crude parapet the goblins had decided to put on the arena walls. The thunk of a crossbow bolt being rudely interrupted by a boulder came barely a second later. I jumped up again and cast a sleep spell on the lot before they could fire again, and another two fell, leaving just the crossbowman, who let off another shot just before my ducking behind the parapet again – but he was too fast, and the bolt lodged in my shoulder. Pain shot across my body, and spots began to appear. With the seconds I had to take to recover, I looked back at the battle in the arena – two of the blues had fallen in battle, the upstart searching both their pockets and the pockets of the six defeated greens. The troll was looking around nonchalantly, and decided to scratch itself again. Amnestria was missing, though, and I tried to call out for her. But as I was calling, I had twisted my shoulder, sending fresh new waves of pain rippling through my body. I knew what had to be done in the circumstances, and tore the bolt out. Collapse was near, red white and black spots lined my vision and it seemed I was falling, falling–
But I landed, and the shock sent a second wave of adrenaline to my limbs, which shot instinctively for the wand. I uttered the words as best I could, concentrating on the intonations and accents. A flash of light, and I felt the flesh of my shoulder knitting itself back together, the pain reached a crescendo and then faded altogether, and I slumped against the wall, nearly spent. Stumbling to my feet, I peeked round the corner, but the three goblins who hadn't died yet certainly had now, with arrows poking through each of their chests, vermillion blood seeping into an ever-widening circle. Amnestria's work, evidently. But she was still nowhere to be seen.
I glanced back at the troupe of green goblins, who were passing around a philter of some unidentifyable brownish liquid which seemed to be doing them a world of good. I sat down by them, motioning for the bottle. They passed it round to me and I took a swig – it tasted sweet, like the candy spiders you'd find at any Drohungard fair ever, but also had a hint of the most magical bean in any plane of existence. I held the drink out in front of me, scrutinizing its milky depths.
“This...” I stuttered a little. “This is a latte.”
The lead goblin nodded in approval. “Who needs ale when you've got a light roast?”
Truly, this trip was turning my expectations on their head. I had expected a full meat feast, based on the goblins I had seen at Drohungard. But one of them had taken out a box and was admiring a sandwich on whole wheat bread with what seemed to be salad leaves and hummus.
I stood up and walked to the arena's exit – if they were going to whip out the kale I didn't want to be there. The town seemed so tranquil, so peaceful and still, if you ignored the festering corpses in the streets, which was extremely hard to do. “Where has that blasted elf got to?” I muttered aloud.
“Trust me, yer better off without 'er,” the upstart opined, walking up to me. “Them sorts o' girls be nuffin' but trouble. I should know,” he winked, “I married one!”
Pleased with what semblance of a reaction he could infer from my usual poker face, he held out a sword to me. “This be yers now. Ye earned it.” I gazed at its adamantine glow, and offered some generic thanks, before re-sheathing it and tucking it in my bag.
The birds called in the trees, although if they were vultures I wouldn't be surprised. Couldn't tell though, I'd have to ask Amnestria.
Speaking of which, there she was, coming out of one of the houses with more blood on her face than Nevakin herself and holding her shortsword in her hands, the blood that still stained it steaming and turning a sickly brown. “Hi Verg!” she said, the completely uncalled for abbreviation grating my ears. “How's it gone? Did we win?”
I motioned to the pile of green goblin bodies and nodded. “I think so, they seem pretty dead to me.” It hit me then what had happened. “Where were you?”
“Oh, just mopping up the witnesses,” she shrugged. “It's ok, they're all dead now.”
“...all?” I choked. “What 'all'?”
“Every last one of them, just like you said! They won't be sleeping sound in their beds tonight – because they won't be alive to sleep!” Pleased with what I can only guess was supposed to be a joke, she sheathed her sword and wiped some errant hair out of her mouth.
“What.”
Spoiler: 10. (If there's) Nobody to Notice
“But you said!” she protested, incredulous at our shocked stares. “You said no witnesses! I distinctly remember the words no witnesses coming out of your mouth!”
I slapped my palm to my face, indulging in the thought that it would be hers next time. “I meant that we should try to stay hidden, not massacre everybody in the village!”
“Well why didn't you say that then?” Because, of course, it was my fault the dozens of innocent goblins were dead, wasn't it. If only I hadn't worded my instructions that way. Alternatively if only the elf hadn't gone on a murder spree rampage!
“I've never–” I caught myself just in time, because I had, really. “Apart from Samath, I've never been in the company of anyone who would use that sentence to get to that conclusion!”
“You've clearly been in the wrong company, then!” she retorted, with only slightly less sense than usual.
I sighed, and brought my palm up to my face once more. Thank you oh so very much Amnestria, now I have even more variables to think through. I remained silent for a few seconds, formulating what would hopefully turn out to be a plan in my head. A semblance of one appeared, and a smile came to my mouth. Information travels by speed of the fastest thing that wants to carry it. All we had to do was beat it.
“Okay maybe this won't be a complete and utter failure,” I began, inspiring hope in the elf– oh wait no she's just left to talk with the other goblins. “This is a complete and utter failure.” Resigned, I trudged back to the campfire where she was already giving word of her quote unquote heroic exploits to the blue soldiers. Apparently at some point during the ten-minute chaos she had found time to duel the mayor of the town in a climatic face-off. I recalled the innkeeper (by Nevakin, it's ex-inkeeper now, isn't it) muttering about the mayor's nocturnal habits. More likely, the elf had chanced upon him while he was still sleeping and/or hungover from the previous night's exploits – having been around nobility I know just how much one person can get done in one night – and decided he'd make a rather nice temporary shortsword sheath. The blues, however, were just lapping this up. I walked over to Amnestria and whisphered in her ear: “we have to go now,” before dragging her away from the group (and prying eyes) and out of the arena.
“Ugh, are you going to lecture me on morals? A drow, of all people? And a nobility drow–” I cut her off mid-tangent.
“We don't have time to discuss morals. How long do you think it'll be until someone finds this?”
“Cecil and his guys have already found it. They made it!” she answered, missing the point as usual.
“They're not exactly going to report us. What they – with our help – did isn't the kind of thing you tell the local constable about. But how long do you think it will be before someone else finds this Nevakin-blasted horror show?” She shrugged. “And how suspicious do you think the border guards will be of adventureres if it turns out one of them has massacred an entire town?”
The elf swept a blood-stained strand of hair out of her mouth and sighed. “Stop talking in italics, Vergil. It won't do you any good.”
My turn to sigh. “So we have to get out of the country as soon as humanly possible. Get through to Freuegard before word gets to the southern wall about the Inningsford Massacre. The dwarves won't give a drider's last leg about what happened here, hell, they'll probably give you a Nevakin-blasted medal! But that won't happen unless we leave. Right. Now.”
She looked lost in thought for several moments, although probably it would be more accurate to say that she was trying to find one. There aren't many that survive long in that head. I glanced around nervously, in case any errant travellers were to chance upon us now. None came in the aeons it took for a coherent thought to form in Amnestria's head. She smiled. “I kinda want a medal... It'd look cute, right?”
Stoic. No emotions. Poker face no matter how harebrained what she just said was.
“Yeah okay sure let's just go.”
Several uneventful hours later (there was nothing more to say on the subject of the morning's slaughter, and at the very least there wouldn't be any witnesses for a short while), we came to a border wall with a small opening, next to which a goblin sat in a chair reading some sort of broadsheet. At the sight of us, he jumped up and barked for our permits. “You travellers, traders or adventurers?”
“Why?” I ventured. We had both a transit permit and an adventurer's permit valid, although the former expired the next day. I had to be sure to present the one that would keep us out of trouble.
“Well,” the guard helpfully explained, “there's word of a pair of adventurers who completely wiped out a small thorp called Inningsford,” (stoic, no emotions, poker face) “so we're to arrest any who come up here with an adventurer's permit.” I neglected, rather wisely, to mention just how well telling people of this rule before checking permits was working to catch the perpetrators.
“Well,” I responded, making sure to hold out the transit permit, “neither of us have those. We just got transit permits for passing through.” Somehow, Amnestria didn't make a hash of the situation by correcting me – maybe she'd figured out what subterfuge was – and the guard checked our papers and let us through. We made our way across the hundred-metre innaccurately named “de-militarized zone” that separated Grumfell and Freuegard, sidestepping caltrops, barricades and wards alike, and officially entered the dwarven federation of Freuegard–
“Halt!” decried a guard, using the universal panacea of a greeting. “Who goes there?”
I gave an aside glance at Amnestria, who was evidently having a similar strain of deja vu. “I swear if you get us conscripted into another local guard force...”
Spoiler: 11. Distract With Wolf
He looked to be a paladin, and had no particularly distinguishing features other than having all his distinguishing features obscured by his gleaming armour, in which he held himself highly (as possible for a dwarf) with clear respect and joy for doing his duty. I sighed inwardly. He was going to be one of those, wasn't he.
Back in Drohungard, there was a family of nobility (around 40th or something) that took honour incredibly seriously to the point of being outright divas. It took at most a year or so for the phrase “worse than the Ki'wallahs” to become a mainstream (I believe that is what the young whipper-snappers call it these days) idiom for having a sickening amount of honour, ego and general stiff-upper-lip. The Ki'wallahs would never say “Hi, I'm Tu'raka,” they'd enter to a trumpet fanfare, do either a flurry present and bow or a condescending nod of mild approval, depending on where exactly you were on the Drohungard house heirarchy, and then announce themselves as something along the lines of “The Right Honourable Tusala Rakane (whatever whatever – these guys had hundreds of middle names) Kitora Wallah of the 42nd Great House of Drohungard And Surrounding Areas, Slayer of Traitors, Pledged to the Cause (all honour great and small to our lady Nevakin), Fighter for Dignity, Pious in Faith (all honour great and small to our lady Nevakin),” and so forth and so forth and by the time they'd finished the meeting had ended half an hour ago and they'd all left and the only person left was the janitor mopping up a spilt beer or two. Frankly it was a miracle they found time to breathe during all that.
But when I told Amnestria “look out, he looks like he could be worse than the Ki'wallahs” she had no idea. It's all well and good (although it isn't) berating me about knowing next to nothing about the surface world but where I do have specialised knowledge it's passed over?
There was no time to do any berating of her, though, since the paladin in shining armour was already upon us. “We thought they would never be recovered,” he announced, apparently coming to the assumption that we knew exactly what these swords were and why we were recovering them. “Many thanks to you, your wife, and your wolven companion,” he continued. I resisted slapping him upside his bearded face purely for diplomatic reasons and decided to wait until later before explaining how we weren't the people he was looking for and emphatically weren't married. “If you hand them over quickly we can get them to the temple and get them destroyed and this'll all be sorted out by supper.”
An aside glance at Amnestria – I wasn't particularly willing to give up these swords, given that they could reportedly sell for up to five thousand gold each (and extra gold's always a nice thing). She had that incredibly rare “thoughtful” face on, where she was, hopefully, weighing up options on the future of our swords, rather than weighing up which dwarf would be the cutest to present her with the medal. “What if,” she opined aloud, “we don't want that to happen?” And with that any pretense of her being anything other than completely absent-minded vanished in a puff of undiplomatic smoke. She apparently thought it could do with elaboration: “I mean we can sell these for a lot – hell, we almost did before Verg killed 'em, so maybe just we don't destroy them and sell them?”
Ten decades of sitting through the most blatant lies, veiled truths and utter stupidity in the Chambers of Drohungard had still not prepared me for what some of the surface elves could muster. It took all my willpower to not shout her down or slap her in the face – although it looked like the paladin was having the same thoughts. He rested his hand on the hilt of his greatsword: “You can hand them over or we'll hand them from you,” he declared. It took a while for me to figure out he was speaking in Common and not some grammatically retardant dialect of Dwarvish.
At the sight of the threat, Squishy, who had been strangely quiet ever since the Inningsford incident, growled and stepped in front of the both of us – was he larger now? I couldn't tell. He and the paladin stared each other in the eye for a good minute, no words being exchanged on either side. I started to slip away back towards Grumfell (who knows maybe going back to Drohungard or, failing that, Dunkelheim, wouldn't be such a bad idea, maybe Samath's calmed down) and, at the outraged “Hey!” from the paladin, started off at a sprint. It was six, maybe seven seconds, and then the phrase “angel on my shoulder” got a whole lot more literal as one tackled me from the air to the ground.
“Since when–” I interrupted myself to spit some dirt out of my mouth, “Since when did you have wings?”
“It comes with the job,” came the celestial voice with the same dwarven accent as before, “To take out any who decide to turn their backs and run away from the light of justice. Although more literally, this time.” He lifted me to my feet and dragged me towards the guard post where another three dwarves were restraining the elf and wolf.
“What made you think fighting such a powerful dwarf was a good idea?” she screeched, as if I had planned to duel to the death or something.
“Well I was thinking more along the lines of “distract him with a large wolf while I run away as fast as possible” and how was I to know that was going to happen?”
The paladin took a glance at his comrades and nodded, prompting them to start going through our packs. There was just the general adventuring equipment, and, rather thankfully, they found the swords before they found anything else that might be incriminating in either of our packs. He took a shortsword in each hand and strode off towards the guard tower.
“At least he's wearing gloves.”
- End of Session Two[/spoiler]Spoiler: things in which I used to be involved before i was claimed by the great pestilence of examsThe One Sane Drow (Vergil: Drow Sorcerer 5, CN)
The Uprise (IC/OOC) (Ker'anson: Drow Arcane Spellcaster 4, NE)
Running Total Of Things I've Critically Hit That Jormengand Didn't Want Me To Critically Hit: 3
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Ludus Carcerum Blog
3.5e
- Being a Steampunk Magitek Cyborg: A Renegade Mastermaker Handbook
- Tacking Initiative Progression Onto Lower Tier Classes Homebrew: Increasing the power of low-tier classes by giving them maneuver progressions
- Three Draconic Theurges Homebrew: Warlock/Dragonfire Adept, Dragonfire Adept/Dragon Shaman, Dragon Shaman/Marshal
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Originally Posted by Bard1cKnowledge
Thanks to Zaydos, I am now the Neutrality Domain!
...And the Elephantine Growth Reserve Feat! ... And the Spine of the Spire Reserve Feat!
...And the Vestige of Seto, who carried the Planes!
Thanks to Illven, I am now a Dragonmark!Avatar by Mr_Saturn
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Originally Posted by Bard1cKnowledge
Check out my extended signature and the "Gitp regulars as..." that I've been honored with!
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Spoiler: Werewolf ResultsGame Role Result Phantom of the Opera Werewolf IX: Digital Phantoms Clara Computer exploded Night 7 Duck Season II: Firing Back Wolf Shot by a goose Day 4 Forum Wars WW Moderator Ferreted out Night 4 Brotherhood WW: Victorian Age Avatar of Yin and Yang Slain by a demented cousin Night 10 Drowlbearwolf I: The Scimitar-Chuck Drow Claws to the throat Night 2 Last edited by flat_footed; 2016-10-15 at 02:28 PM.
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Grand Arbiter's Extended Signature
Because standard signature space is too small...
Games I currently play:
League of Legends
SC2 Co-op & campaign
Heroes of the Storm
Minecraft PE (mobile)
LoL Wild Rift (mobile)
Identity V (mobile)
My Homebrew: Personal creations, mostly 3.5/PF but I may start doing 5e material. (Current as of April 3 2022.)
Quotes to keep:
"Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."
Spoiler: On the intricacies of vortexing...Originally Posted by XihirliOriginally Posted by ThematthewOriginally Posted by XirhiliOriginally Posted by Thematthew
Spoiler: Don't taunt the abomination.
Some font colors I like:
cobalt blue, #0000FF
dark orange, #FF8C00
new-leaf green, #00cc00
sky blue, #3399ff
teal, #008080Last edited by Grand Arbiter; 2022-06-15 at 05:52 PM. Reason: Update
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GM Registry
Spoiler: Dead GamesFantasy Military Campaign - DM - OOC
PTU - Green Bays - GM - OOC
Those that Sleep in the Shadows - Geoffrey - OOC
Drakewater - GM - OOCLast edited by thedanster7000; 2018-11-27 at 06:52 AM.
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Spoiler: Werewolf ResultsGame Role Result Phantom of the Opera Werewolf IX: Digital Phantoms Carlotta Computer exploded Night 7 Duck Season II: Firing Back Wolf Shot by a goose Day 4 Forum Wars WW Moderator Ferreted out Night 4 Brotherhood WW: Victorian Age Avatar of Yin and Yang Slain by a demented cousin Night 10 Drowlbearwolf I: The Scimitar-Chuck Drow Claws to the throat Night 2 Forum Wars II- The Users Strike Back Leet Hack0r Found Night 5
Spoiler: Apotheosis Act I: Perdition of a Maledictive Eternitya
Spoiler: Kingdom of the exiles Group Ba
Spoiler: Coda's Jade Regenta
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Dascarletm, Spinner of Rudiplorked Tales, and Purveyor of PunsThanks to Artman77 for the avatar!
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LastCenturion's PbP index:
On The Subject of Heroes -- (OOC||IC) -- Wing of the Grey Owl f707fa
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Inevitability's Extended Signature
Iron Chef:
Thief of Life: Duran Mublen, Vol's Apothecary (shared 1st place)
One of my first build comp entries, and the first Iron Chef one I think. Kind of mediocre looking back, but decently original and with solid baseline stats.
Twisted Lord: Handsome Malcolm (1st place)
Combines feinting, intimidation, and full sneak attacks in a single turn through willful abuse of an obscure assassin spell.
Elocater: Marg, Comet of Sharn (honorable mention)
Build relies on a terrible reading of the rules that shouldn't work logically and probably not mechanically either.
Cerebrex: Ilias Fessor (1st place)
Skill-heavy assassin build that makes better use of Cerebrex than the average arcane caster. Uses a novel trick to bypass Glibness and can instakill people through walls. Lots of intelligence-based skills get love.
Tri-Tongued Taylor (3rd place)
Intelligence-based swashbuckling bluffmancer that abuses Wanderer's Diplomacy and Seduction, still decent in combat. Requires your DM to allow Chameleon casting to meet prerequisites. I misunderstood Able Learner so the skills need reworking and Open-Minded can be swapped out.
Defiant: The Word (1st place)
Vivacious is a build-in-a-can that mostly struggles against high-Fortitude casters. What better place to showcase Defiant, a class only useful against divine magic? Having to build around something that can't have its save DC boosted and doesn't need many actions allowed for some rather original building.
Beast Heart Adept: Liam Greve (3rd place)
Bardblade with marshall and half-elf paragon dips who enters beast heart adept to get some multiattacking bodies to buff with dragonfire inspiration.
Shadowspy: Sam Sandshield (1st place)
Mess of an asherati that combines fast-track divine casting with blindness-centric ninja tricks and what I like to call 'stealth tanking'.
Jeremy Thicket (1st place)
Grig cleric/shadowspy who eventually grabs 4th-level bard spells via mystic theurge. There's stealth, music, debuffs, and even a bit of urban tracking.
Umbral Disciple: Gronk Tongle, the Dwarf Gecko (1st place)
Chameleon template, Wild Dwarf, and Rogue 10 combine to deal 35 strength damage by licking someone from the shadows. A bit of a strained RAW argument argues it'd even work against undead, constructs, and objects.
Vengeance Knight: Lo-Kag "Loosefoot" Gathakanathi (1st place)
Paimon and heavy armor: the pair you thought you'd never see! Fluff section deemed "a rather entertaining story" in rave reviews.
Syg the Brutally Honest (2nd place)
Savant War Mind ft. my favorite bonus feat race (Synad).
Demonologist: Darcy Covenant (1st place)
Witchy gnome with some questionable spell synergies, artificial coven creation, and mass redcap sacrifice.
The Great Horned Toad (shared 2nd place)
Demonologist gets a lot of value out of low-level spells, so let's use it with a Dread Witch-based way to get infinite 2nd-level spells. Also featuring Insane Defiance and Arcane Disciple.
Divine Agent: Navtej, Devav Asura (2nd place)
Trying to make 2/year SLAs not useless thanks to the magic of Fiend of Blasphemy. Not a dretch. Should've been one.
Villainous Competition:
Psionics: Brightness, the Star that Sees (1st place)
One of my favorite overall builds, even if the mechanical content is kind of simplistic. Uses Psionic Levitate + Energy Adaptation + Adapt Body to indefinitely survive in the vacuum of space, while manifesting powers with Remote Viewing.
Gadgeteer: Jamiss 'Junkrat' d'Cannith (1st place)
I haven't played a single game of overwatch in my life and won this only because nobody else submitted an entry. Launch Item is funny though.
Madness: Amnesia (1st place)
Hey kids you wanna buy some metabreath feat abuse and see my poor attempt at creative writing.
Oozes: The Talariic Abomination (3rd place)
Bag of rats but with a big sticky slimeball. Arguably grapples people in a way that bypasses FoM.
Control: Steel, the Conscript Lord (3rd place)
A devil who can permanently control people by swallowing them, with levels in tattooed monk and totemist for good measure.
Final form: Vadim Ashguard (1st place)
A conman turned cold-based blaster bard; a Trap Haunt Winterhaunt; an unkillable ghost bound not quite to a sword. Makes use of Disconcordant Malediction as a source of bonus damage, which isn't a trick I think I've ever seen before.
Tzimtzum (2nd place)
A House of Leaves tribute that builds an immensely-sized dungeon to imprison the PCs in, then acts as a sort of haunting presence throughout.
Constructs: Remains Unseen (1st place)
Gruesome Lurker shadowpouncer with some nice internal synergies and an obscure ACF for a prestige class.
The Hemomorph (2nd place)
Abusing a vaguely worded Alternate Form ability to access Epic-level monsters' powers and ultimately acquire near-omniscience.
Junkyard Wars:
9ths + Metamagic - Prepared Casting: Foehn Elf-Friend (shared 1st place)
Permanently invisible + flying + telepathic sorcerer that can silently create giant invisible BFC areas of doom (which your allies are immune to). Sylph is a pretty cool race for a sorcerer.
Rage + Casting - Rage Mage: Trox, Shaped by War (1st place)
Barbarian/Cleric who enters Flux Adept to get Regeneration and uses Ordained Champion's swift divine power to keep BAB up while doing so. Ends up being immune to nearly all damage while raging, except sonic.
Sana Bogle (3rd place)
Geomancer/Blood Magus/Dread Witch who enters and leaves rage multiple times a turn to manipulate feats like Raging Luck and Intimidating Rage. Also casts 9ths.
Smite + Mounted Combat - Paladin: Wet Horse Teeth (1st place)
A slasher villain homage using Dragonmark Smite to force save-or-loses, while using Mounted Fury to grant his mount all the usual rage bonuses (plus teeth and claws). Battlerager and Heir of Siberys show up as well!
Wan'clas Nodibbs (last place)
As the name implies, a single-classed build that has a good reason being one. Halfling with some cool tricks, like using an elephant as a moveable battle jump platform, combining Good Karma with Mounted Combat to negate hits to allies using your Ride, and improving Moonblade's effect with smites. Mostly sent in for the single-classed gimmick though.
Natural Weapons + Spellcasting - Druid: The Lonely Fir (2nd place)
Pious templar impure prince casting corrupt spells at range with some creative readings of RAW. Also we're a plant for slightly better reasons than just rapidstrike abuse.
A. Jade (3rd place)
Beguiler JPM softening up people's Will saves with the jaebrin's sapping bite. Not as original as I could've made it - still a fun use of a rarely-seen race.
Healing + Serenity - Paladin: Sulphurclaw, Who Dreams Prophecies (Exhibition Entry)
Using the obscure Greenspawn Zealot to make a very unique sort of healer - an excellent NPC, in my opinion.
Iron Chef E6:
Knight: Sir Svarak Steelskin (2nd place)
I saw Knight and decided to do something stupid.
Light/Darkness: The Little Match Girl (1st place)
Duskblade/Monk/Cancer Mage that spams Hypnotic Pattern then robs people blind.
Movement: Hum Ingbird (2nd place)
Kobold that hits a fly speed of 100 while charging, allowing for insane Diving Charge bonus damage in a very unconventional way. Also pulls some shenanigans with Flyby Attack but that's a bit poorly-written.
Plants: Ukko, the One Grown Upon (1st place)
Dealing 3d6 damage in an AoE, once per round, no save, no attack roll, no action required, with what is legally a plant. Also a backstory that comes down to 'chosen by the gods to be the svalbard seed vault'.
Illusions: Mehndi Toner (1st place)
Dragonmark + Action Point + Draconic Prophecizer shenanigans to cast ten Shadow Conjurations a day, plus diplomacy. Also did you know half-elves can arguably take the mark of shadow?
Funhouse California (2nd place)
Standard crusader tanking, now with Trickery Devotion. Locking foes down is nice enough already, but what if you could then trick them into hitting your illusory double instead of you?
Odd Weapons: Master Lin (1st place)
Uses the most obscure variant class I've ever seen to grab Kusari-Gama proficiency, then delivers a very cool build that can grapple you from 20 ft. away and pull itself towards you spiderman style... while still being able to full attack afterwards. Good crowd control, good single-target lockdown, solid damage, solid utility.
(I additionally submitted the 4th place finisher for this round, which I think is pretty cool also)
Minion Creation: Adro, the Lamplighter (1st place)
Create Lantern Archon has multiple clauses that try and prevent you from assembling an army of floating artillery; we subvert all of them and deliver a VoP diplomancer with some hefty backup.
Monster Mash:
Sneak Attack: Shogosu (2nd place)
I noticed Past Life was a valid way of getting sneak attack and quickly realized the most ridiculous thing to put it on.
Quadrupeds: Experiment MHI-Taolt (shared 1st place)
Exploits the wording of the mindshredder zenthal's natural weapons to make 10 wisdom-draining touch attacks a round. Also Thrall of Demogorgon.
Ten Thousand Souls To Save But One (3rd place)
And speaking of 'exploiting wording' here is me picking the funniest animal that counts as 'quadruped' according to the contest rules and proceeding not to do anything too interesting with it.
Snow and ice: Ysbrand (3rd place)
A very particular build that couldn't work with anything but ice mephit, martial minionmancy is pretty funky as a concept.
Miracles: Things Lost, Things Gained (1st place)
Ex-nymph splinterwaif, blighter with regular wildshape, mother of minionmanced monsters - and provider for a city of millions, thanks to the fish-conjurer that is Evil Weather.
Zinc Saucier:
True Dragons: Mad Bat Dead (1st place)
Shade Nycter Siren: what could be closer to a shadow dragon? Nothing says hit-and-run like blasting away with a cone of nastiness, teleporting out, and healing back up to full - the solution to non-HP attacks is nothing if not creative.
Urolk Sandstone (2nd place)
A much more conventionally draconic build, using dragonlance's criminally underused baaz draconian and throwing in KotW and JPM. A bit standard in retrospect, I suppose.
Brood Spawn: Albida (1st place)
Using an obscure devil and some little-known rules to get Mark of Stygia on a build which then spreads ice to augment some natural weapon flurrypouncing strats.
Judgements:
Iron Chef CXXI (Dragon Disciple)
Iron Chef CXXVI (Ballisteer)
Monster Mash VI (Mysterious Monster Magic)
Monster Mash VIII (Half-Templates)
Monster Mash IX (The Sun)
Monster Mash XI (Curses)
Villainous Competition XLVIII (Zealots)
Villainous Competition L (Lovers)
Iron Chef E6 XL (Poisons)
Iron Chef E6 XLVII (Enchantments)
Last edited by Inevitability; 2024-04-17 at 05:48 AM.
Creator of the LA-assignment thread.
Come join the new Junkyard Wars and build with SLAs and a breath weapon!
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Originally Posted by Flappeercraft
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Originally Posted by linklele
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P.Z. - gamer; friend; royalty. 'Tis a pleasure, Welcome to MY EXTENDED SIGNATURE!.
<<Cynthia the Witch by me. she's a nice gal, I promise!
My player Resume, for potential DMs to read over.
My Settings:
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The DIMENSIONS of
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this was pretty much my tippyverse. Lessons learned. OOC.
Homebrew that I made or took part of:
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D&D 5th Edition Binder Class - a collaborative effort
And Scarce's Vestige Codex
Spoiler: previous avatars*coming soon as I find them! *Last edited by Prince Zahn; 2017-03-16 at 07:43 PM.
P.Z. - gamer; friend; royalty. 'Tis a pleasure.
<<Cynthia the Witch by me. she's a nice gal, I promise!
My player Resume, for potential DMs to read over.
My Extended Signature
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EdinoiZ's Extended Signature
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And also the final resting place of characters of games long past.
Spoiler: In Memoriam All of my Characters hereChotan Tosho - ffd20 A Crystal Path | IC | OOC | He spoke in dodger blue #1E90FF
Ylva Völundsdottir - 3.5 Mythos: Living Fortress | IC | OOC | She spoke in darkish blue #0066CC
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