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Thread: Knife Puns are needed!
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2011-01-05, 10:14 AM (ISO 8601)Pixie in the Playground
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Location
- Maine
- Gender
Knife Puns are needed!
Ok someone gets stabbed in the chest and dies from then wound. They're just lying there and my character walks up, looks at the knife. Another guy from my party askes: "I wonder what killed him", to which I reply " I can take a stab at it"
I need more! Give my your best knife puns!Rememberth thy the game, thou arth no victor.
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2011-01-05, 10:19 AM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Germany
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
In that case, you can't go without the King of Cheesy Oneliners.
We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.
Spriggan's Den Heroic Fantasy Roleplaying
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2011-01-05, 10:26 AM (ISO 8601)Colossus in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
Jafar's "Get the point?" from Aladdin is pretty basic.
Maybe some on edges? Elan in OOTS also has a few rapier themed ones that might be co-opted.Marut-2 Avatar by Serpentine
New Marut Avatar by Linkele
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2011-01-05, 10:46 AM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- San Jose, CA
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
After stabbing someone to death: "It was knife to know you."
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2011-01-05, 11:05 AM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
I hate to cut and run?
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2011-01-05, 11:09 AM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- Virginia
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
After knifing someone: I see you've gotten my point.
If accused of knifing someone: Dagger? I barely knew her!Mega-tar by AlterForm. Power Up!
Spoiler
Originally Posted by Xyk
Originally Posted by tyckspoon
Originally Posted by golentan
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2011-01-05, 11:11 AM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- The Greyverse
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
I tire of these cutting remarks.
Still-lett-o me make-a some points.
Poign-ard one: at least he was stabbed in the front; backstabbing would have been a base-lard thing to do to him.
Two: the victim has suffered a kukri-tion of the chest.
Three: does it look like waki-slashy?
Now, stop dirk-ing us around and get back to work.
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2011-01-05, 11:13 AM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
Good knife and sweet dreams!
I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2011-01-05, 11:42 AM (ISO 8601)Barbarian in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- The One in the Middle
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
So, you're looking for jokes that are a cut above the rest?
If you're a knife dancer, does that mean you're a member of the Slice Capades?I drive a quantum car- every time I look down at the speedometer, I get lost.
_____________
As a juggler, I may not always be smarter than a banana. However, bananas aren't often surrounded by children asking for hugs and autographs.
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2011-01-05, 11:53 AM (ISO 8601)Bugbear in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scandinavia
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
Sorry to have holed you up
Last edited by Asheram; 2011-01-05 at 11:54 AM.
Boats are like nuts, the outside is hard but the inside is usually good to eat.
And remember, things can always get worse.
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2011-01-05, 12:01 PM (ISO 8601)Dwarf in the Playground
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
The excitement has put me on EDGE.
Really makes you think... Whats the POINT of it all?
something about cutting the tension.
at the rookie detective saying something stupid: Don't be so DULL! or You can't HACK it!
Any way you SLICE it, this wasn't an accident.
It was cheaper than paying a surgeon to go under the knife.
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2011-01-05, 12:57 PM (ISO 8601)Dwarf in the Playground
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
"It was knife meeting you!"
Can't think of anything else right now, a lot of good ones are already taken.
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2011-01-05, 01:12 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
Law Enforcer: We are unsure what killed this man. Do you have any ideas?
You: I don't know, all I can offer you is a stab in the dark... Oh wait...Last edited by Elric VIII; 2011-01-05 at 01:12 PM.
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2011-01-05, 01:39 PM (ISO 8601)Bugbear in the Playground
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Location
- Indonesia
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
"See, I'm sharper than you"
"Give him a cut"
"This is your cut of the treasure" (backstabbing former party member)
(I'm not good at this)Last edited by Salbazier; 2011-01-05 at 01:44 PM.
Originally Posted by Gharkash
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2011-01-05, 01:42 PM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
"Its been knife meeting you. Shanks for your time."
Works especially well if you're dual-wielding and can time the 'knife' with the first thrust, and 'shanks' with the second.5e D&D Mythos Classes
General Rules
Swordbearer Class
Cynosure Class
Mechanikos Class
Adversary Class
Discussion Thread
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2011-01-05, 01:43 PM (ISO 8601)Banned
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
Just don't play a caster that primarily uses ice spells. Originally Posted by Yora
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2011-01-05, 01:50 PM (ISO 8601)Colossus in the Playground
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- right behind you
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
Shanks for the memories.
Oh look, I just poked a hole in your argument. Among other things.
(Upon stabbing a cleric to death) NOW he's holey. :p
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2011-01-05, 01:52 PM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
From RA Salvatore's Homelands:
"Another student died from natural causes. A dagger to the heart would NATURALLY kill someone."_________________________________ Originally Posted by Fax Celestis
A beholder’s favorite foods include small live mammals, exotic mushrooms and other fungi, gnomes, beef, pork, colorful leafy vegetables, leaves, flower petals, insects, and birds.
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2011-01-05, 02:32 PM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
- Location
- London, EU
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
"Time for some sharp wit"
π = 4
Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' — Actually it's worse than that.
Completely Dysfunctional Handbook
Warped Druid Handbook
Avatar by Caravaggio
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2011-01-05, 02:43 PM (ISO 8601)Dwarf in the Playground
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- Brno,Czech Republic
- Gender
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
After stabbing a guard: "You gotta stay sharp, you know."
The more brutal version: ,,Keep your eyes peeled."
"See, this is the cutting edge of weapon technology."
Not exactly a knife pun, more of an assassination one. "This poisoned needle may not be much, but it will do in a pinch".
-In a punching dagger assault: ,,Talk about a cathartic experience."
-Decapitating someone with a wave-bladed short sword "Looks like a krisis had come along."
Some ones for different weapons:
-Here is something to help your spiritual life and purify your chakras."
-"What a nasty boil you have on your face. Let me lance it for you."Last edited by ScIaDrd; 2011-01-05 at 02:47 PM.
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
I started mine in the Players´ house in a large elven city.
Boring, duh.
GENERATION 17: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig and add 1 to the generation. social experiment
My Paladin´s to-be motto:
Peace and love through superior firepower and divine righteousness.
If you approve, copy and paste this into your signature.
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2011-01-05, 03:06 PM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
Re: Knife Puns are needed!
After the throat-slitting or somesuch:
Typical slice-of-life drama.In a war it doesn't matter who's right, only who's left.
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