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  1. - Top - End - #1381
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    It seems like they should be standard for any creature which has a society. Even a tribal society needs Craft (potter) and Profession (herdsman). By that standard trolls would generally qualify.

  2. - Top - End - #1382
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    Flumph

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Except it really depends on the fluff for the creature in question. Trolls aren't social creatures. Their regeneration gives them a high metabolism, so too many trolls would depopulate an area of food literally within days. Troll societies just don't work and they know it, which is why they only get together to mate.

    In this case, the creature in question wouldn't really get a profession until they "grew up" (finished the class) and entered another society, i.e: gained levels in a non-monster class.

    Again, it just depends on the fluff of the creature whether or not certain skills make sense. Azers, for example, would get Craft and Profession, since they live in an industrialized society and would have that set of talents. A bulette, on the other hand, is a near-mindless predator that wouldn't make sense to have those skills and couldn't really use them with its anatomy in the first place.
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  3. - Top - End - #1383
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    In any event, Benly's interpretation makes a great deal of sense. I agree with Makiru that Trolls probably don't have a society. I do think that, as I go back through some of the old monsters, I will be giving more consideration to Profession and Craft.
    Last edited by Hyudra; 2011-03-21 at 09:02 AM.

  4. - Top - End - #1384
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Brass Golem has now had all the changes made to it, including all formatting changes.
    Homebrew: Ghost Rider, a 3.5e Base Class inspired by Marvel's Comics.


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  5. - Top - End - #1385
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Makiru View Post
    Except it really depends on the fluff for the creature in question. Trolls aren't social creatures. Their regeneration gives them a high metabolism, so too many trolls would depopulate an area of food literally within days. Troll societies just don't work and they know it, which is why they only get together to mate.
    That's an interesting interpretation, but not consistent with all portrayals of D&D trolls. I may be biased because I'm currently DMing an adapted 2E module which includes a tribe of trolls and I recall trolls being tribal in other older modules.

  6. - Top - End - #1386
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyudra View Post
    We try to avoid giving creatures explicit vulnerabilities. Electricity vulnerability should at least be paired with some notable benefit.
    It does pair with an explicit benefit. The brass golem is not only immune to but healed by fire damage. Every golem is likewise vulnerable to one specific energy type and healed by another. This was a means to make healing them... less stupidly hard.
    I know the golems quite well, having made the format they all follow today.
    Solid Brass: That's... a lot of armor bonus. So at 6HD, with a +8 Str mod, you've got... +12 AC from racial benefits. Couple that with Dex mod and you're looking at 24 to 25 AC. While that may not seem that extreme (enemies needing perhaps a 12 or higher to hit, give or take depending on gear & BAB), you can bump it further with stuff like protection from evil, bracers of armor, etc.
    It should note that the brass golem cannot wear armor, and thus this is a replacement thereof.

    Beyond that, I'll note that I already have gone over the brass golem (many and many a year ago) and for the most part I consider it well balanced... though of course Hyudra is more of a stickler for format than I was (many and many a year ago).
    Nevertheless, I'll review it all the same. Good to have you back, Cog.

    On the subject of craft/profession: Frankly I don't care much. Both are nigh useless skills that add little but flavor to the character. If you want to give trolls craft/profession, I suppose it'd make sense for the odd cultured troll. If not, whatever. Again, they're both pretty much just flavor.
    Last edited by Gorgondantess; 2011-03-21 at 03:10 PM.
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  7. - Top - End - #1387
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Ed: It should state it can't wear armour, but as it gives an armour bonus, it's not like it actually stacks with armour. Nevertheless, I'll edit that in. It does state:
    This armour may be enchanted, but more armour may not be worn over the top.
    I'll also edit back in electricity vulnerability, since you've reminded me of the benefit it's paired with and so it continues to fit the format.

    And it's good to be back. I enjoy homebrewing, and this thread is one of the few guaranteed ways of getting solid feedback.
    Last edited by Cogidubnus; 2011-03-21 at 03:15 PM.
    Homebrew: Ghost Rider, a 3.5e Base Class inspired by Marvel's Comics.


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  8. - Top - End - #1388
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Okay, I have everything except a capstone done for a non casting version of the Silver dragon. Should I post it and get your guy's help on the capstone or wait until I actually have a capstone to post it?
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  9. - Top - End - #1389
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    Flumph

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Benly View Post
    That's an interesting interpretation, but not consistent with all portrayals of D&D trolls. I may be biased because I'm currently DMing an adapted 2E module which includes a tribe of trolls and I recall trolls being tribal in other older modules.
    I was mostly using the information I remembered from the "Practical Guide to Monsters" that got put out near the end of 3.5. Nice book for fluff with some good illustration, and it was only $10 if I remember right.

    Anyway, I am still waiting for an experienced critique of the garngrath, when anybody can get around to it.
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  10. - Top - End - #1390
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyuubi View Post
    Okay, I have everything except a capstone done for a non casting version of the Silver dragon. Should I post it and get your guy's help on the capstone or wait until I actually have a capstone to post it?
    Dunno if it applies but I just thought of a cool ability dragons could have:

    Due to the abundance of natural attacks they get, a non-magical dragon is typically relying on its breath weapon, flight, and natural attacks plus any additional Su/Ex abilities they might possess.

    So combine them all for fun:

    Juggle (Ex): Being naturally built for flight and gifted with a multiple dangerous body parts, the dragon has learned to fly and attack one target at the same time to great effect.

    To use this ability the dragon must have the Improved Grab extraordinary ability or the Improved Grapple feat or some equivalent of one or the other. The dragon designates an enemy to target with this ability, the target must be light enough for the dragon to carry upward in flight.

    As a full round action the dragon moves half its speed and makes a bite attack against the designated opponent. If successful the dragon tosses the opponent in the air and flies upward behind/with his prey, attacking repeatedly and carrying his foe ever upward with each attack. The dragon may make a full attack against the opponent as they both move higher into the air with the remaining half of the dragon's speed in a direction of the dragon's choice. The dragon may use his breath weapon at any point during this full attack if he is capable of using his breath weapon in this round. It does not require a standard action as usual and is simply part of the dragon's full attack (Since it requires no attack roll, it can happen at any time the dragon chooses in the course of his turn).

    If the dragon chooses to end his full attack against the opponent with a crush or wing attack he can force his opponent down to the ground with such force that the enemy takes full falling damage even if affected by a spell like feather fall or fly. If this causes the opponent to leave the dragon's threatened square the opponent provokes an attack of opportunity from the dragon as usual. If the dragon chooses to initiate grapple it this attack obvious the opponent does not fall.

    The dragon may also choose not to end his assault, and in doing so must not use a wing or crush attack during his full attack. This implies the dragon is attempting to continue his juggle, which is very difficult. The opponent may make an opposed grapple, escape artist, or tumble check vs. the dragon's grapple check. This is not a check to oppose or resist grapple, but rather a test of the dragon's aerial ability. If the dragon wins and his opponent doesn't manage to move away during its turn, the dragon may continue the juggle at the start of its next turn, moving both opponents in a direction of the dragon's choice at half the dragon's movement speed. This is another full-round action for the dragon who can make a full attack as above.

    If the dragon makes a successful critical hit against his designated opponent at any point during a juggle then the opponent is stunned and dazed for 1 round.


    I wouldn't be surprised if someone else had written something similar already, I haven't read all the monster classes but "juggling" is a popular tactic straight out of most fighting games so I'm sure someone has had the idea before. I just wasn't sure if they'd used it.

    I attempted to make it a powerful attack routine that used grapple without all the rolls, and if I wrote it right it ignores Freedom of Movement (Which I think is largely BS considering the level at which it is gained, so all grapple-centric abilities I create ignore it).

  11. - Top - End - #1391
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Will be doing a batch critique of the following (monsters posted/updated since 3-15-2011).
    • Vivisector
    • Razor Boar
    • Ettercap
    • Aboleth
    • Chuul
    • Phantom
    • Justice Archon
    • Coure Eladrin
    • Garngrath
    • Brass Golem


    I've marked the following monsters as having my vote, as it were, needing full approval of another council member to go on the main list:
    • Jovoc
    • Gargoyle
    • Vivisector
    • Razor Boar
    • Phase Wasp
    • Violet Fungus
    • Drow


    The following monsters have been added to the unfinished monster list:
    • Garngrath
    • Brass Golem


    The following monsters have been moved to the abandoned list:
    • Hellfire Wyrm
    • Briarvex
    • Black Dragon
    • Half-Golem
    Last edited by Hyudra; 2011-03-22 at 03:10 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #1392
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    BlackDragon

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    I realize how I might have given that image. It's not so much abandoned as me being simply stumped with it. At this point, I have laid out the general parts of it, but the paths are still mostly unfinished. Should I just post the black dragon as it is now anyway?

    Edit: Read the description in the abandoned section. Don't mind me...
    Last edited by Frog Dragon; 2011-03-22 at 03:34 PM.
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  13. - Top - End - #1393
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    I think, at present, there's two or three people who're doing or planning dragons for the thread, each making their individual attempts to rework the dragons so the dragons work and have flavor. All such individuals are reporting that they're kind of stuck on the last leg of their respective dragon classes.

    In any event, I moved the Hellfire Wyrm and the Black Dragon to the abandoned list because they hadn't been updated or critiqued for more than a month (in part due to the discussion/reworking of dragons) and because I thought their respective creators might wish to make fresh posts for their revised dragon projects, assuming they're different enough from the previous to warrant such.

    I do encourage people to discuss their work on the thread & elsewhere. I discourage, conversely, posting anything that's unfinished. I remain open to discussing such points or helping with ideas on AIM as well (I'm on pretty much 24/7, but don't be offended if I don't reply right away, as I work from home & may be on a business call or I may have forgotten to set myself as afk/busy.)

    A few points on the dragon, that came up as I discussed the matter with Kyuubi, reworded here.
    Dragons are 20 level classes. It's important to stress what that means.

    Despite what some might think, you're a hero on par with Aragorn, Conan, Gandalf and the like at level 5. A level 5 hero can do everything those guys did, and face down threats about on par with what they did. A level 5 NPC can be a world renowned blacksmith that makes the finest quality weapons you'd find anywhere, on par with Hattori Hanzo. At level 5 you can be a scholar on par with Einstein.

    So what does it mean, then, to be level 20? It means you're shoulder to shoulder with lesser gods. You need to have abilities that both reflect this and keep you competitive with such. Balancewise, you've got a really tricky proposition before you, as game balance typically goes out the window at 15th level, you really begin to see the gaps between various tiers of character, and mechanics can get broken without necessarily even trying to make it so (rather, it requires express effort to keep everything in line). Past 15th level, AC ceases to matter (to hit bonuses accrue faster than AC does), hitpoints have scaled so much faster than damage that attack routines need to be borderline ridiculous to even make a difference in battle, and the game can devolve into a form of rocket tag... hit the enemy first and obliterate them, or they're going to get a chance to obliterate you. Rinse, repeat.

    The trick with Dragons, as I pointed out to Kyuubi, is that they're hard to design abilities for, which keep them at a suitable power level. They don't really have a specific role beyond 'overpower the enemy', which means there's no defined type of ability one can provide to them beyond 'hit them more/harder' and you're in a situation where you've got to make them fittingly overpowering without making them overpowered. In making them a class that can do this and stay competitive at higher level, you're facing the prospect of a borderline overpowered creature at low-mid levels (full attacking for 80+ damage at a level when your typical initiator class is perhaps doing half that). If you tone down the overpowering nature, you've still got to establish a role as a PC and sell the draconic "you're a majestic creature that makes people fall to their knees in fear and awe" flavor.
    Dragons are complicated and comprehensive, they're well established in lore, so by tackling a dragon as a monster class, you've got to fit your dragon with dozens of such dragons in modules, sourcebooks, magazines and novels. They're 20 levels long, so there's a lot of work, and that's all compounded by the problems I went over, above. I'm not a bad homebrewer, and yet I confess dragons are too much for me. I don't envy anyone who decides to do one for themselves. They're a nightmare to design.

  14. - Top - End - #1394
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    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    You know, that post was far more useful to me than one would expect. Two more abilities, coming up!
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  15. - Top - End - #1395
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Another problem with dragons is keeping the flavor of near omnipotent majestic creatures. When everything you'll be fighting can kill you just as quickly as you kill them you cease to be intimidating and become the norm.
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  16. - Top - End - #1396
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frog Dragon View Post
    You know, that post was far more useful to me than one would expect. Two more abilities, coming up!
    I'm not offended. Not at all.

  17. - Top - End - #1397
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    • Vivisector got a vote! Yay!
    • Aboleth.........it's getting there, it its own slimy way.
    • Pandorym however, is a more pressing matter. I know Hyudra has a no-psionics thing going on because of lack of knowledge, buuuuuut.......i'm going to poke people with sticks and request a look-over (even a very brief one will make me a happy lizard-lich) from anyone willing, simply because I can't think of anything else to do for now, other than changing a few abilities/givine others the switcheroo, which I have done.

  18. - Top - End - #1398
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Jovoc:
    Bloodclaws: is that with each claw attack or one claw attack? If the former, for how long?
    State the fortitude save DC. Also, 50 hp is not worth a simple save or suck- in fact, all of the hp costs described here are pretty damn steep.
    Retributive aura: get leadership for a cohort that can attack many, many times per round and will always deal 1 damage with each attack, then have it hitting you a bunch of times every round.

    Gargoyle:
    Allow for multiclassing with sudden strike, so that doing something like multiclassing to rogue would work, and with the strength/dexterity penalty.
    Scale filthy talons a bit, eh.
    choose the Good or Lawful suntypes
    Spellcheck, yo.
    Deluge waterspout: It should do some damage before level 14. Otherwise, it's pretty useless until then- with a cone, they'll likely be moving only something like 10-15 feet tops, and with a line they'll always be moving just 5 feet. And that's it.
    Petrification: currently doesn't do anything until 14 HD.
    Diving charge: Ummm... so go 200-240 feet up and do an additional 20d6 damage. At 6 HD.
    This also makes me realize that you don't have a listed base move speed.
    Statuesque perfection: does this include improved chiseled armaments?

    Vivisector: I'm a tad worried about a level 1 vivisector. You get 18 strength, that's 2 attacks at a total average of 17 damage. The only thing comparable would be... a human fighter with a flaw to get TWF, oversized TWF, 2 longswords and weapon focus in each... and then he's still doing an average of 2 less damage (from 1/2 str mod instead of full str mod on the offhand). It's not exactly game breaking, but it is a little off. Why not start at 1d6 and then scale up from there?
    Vivisection... is a little boring, really, for an ability that involves extracting a still living creature's organs. Also, while it starts out OK, it quickly becomes a kindof weak ability.
    Scalpel claws: the addenda at the end is now irrelevant.
    Tough Shell: The natural armor bonus is weird. Just... tie it to Con and put it on the 1st level body ability.
    Appendix... um... whuh?
    The DR is a little lame. 1/2 HD wouldn't be overdoing it. In fact, equal to HD wouldn't be overdoing it, considering the low duration.
    Blood: I think it would be better if it could just use this one once. Kindof spammable.
    Beyond that, it looks pretty balanced... but like vivisection, I think you could do a lot more with it. This thing, by all rights, should be really, really nasty, and I don't think it really lives up to its full potential. For example, I'd personally switch out the poison for a paralytic venom that leaves enemies stable and easy to vivisect- and that's really just off the top of my head. Oh, and a fear effect when vivisecting- that too.
    Beyond that, not much of it scales well. Why can't my 15 HD vivisector just snatch out someone's still beating heart and gobble it up, killing them and freaking their friends right the **** out?

    Razor Boar
    successful dc 5 heal check if the boar is willing.
    DC should be capitalized. Consider submitting it to Psyborg, our dear homonculus, for stuff like that in general.
    Other than that, on wrench... what happens when a colossal red dragon bites the boar and gets stuck? Or any other colossal sized creature. Can it really take NO actions other than trying to get free? What if the boar wants to move?
    Other than that, I think it looks good, but wrench certainly could use some polishing.
    Phase Wasp
    Still need to respond to my critiques.
    Violet Fungus
    To avoid starvation/thirst (the Fungus only takes 1d6 nonlethal damage for every time it fails its save
    What save?
    The cloud linger
    You need an S somewhere there.
    Once a day, the Violet Fungus can release a cloud of spores out to 5ft for every HD it has
    Burst? Might want to specify.
    Fatiguing is a weak effect at later levels. Might want to upgrade to exhaustion at something like 12 HD. Also, state whether it applies on a failed save. If so, make exhaustion even earlier.
    Improved Breakdown, under consuming tentacles: no such ability.
    Improved Consumption: adding to the duration is kindof pointless, as it takes as much time to consume the material as it would add to the duration.

    Drow: Still need to fix up mage caste, then it'll be good.
    Last edited by Gorgondantess; 2011-03-22 at 07:17 PM.
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  19. - Top - End - #1399
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Half-Dragon

    A Half-Purple Dragon Minotaur.

    Base Half-Dragon
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    Prerequisites:
    Any creature type but undead or construct. Dragons are extremely prolific creatures, but even they can't mate with the inanimate.

    One True Dragon parent

    or

    Language: Draconic
    and
    Knowledge: Arcane 4 ranks
    and
    Must make peaceful contact with a True Dragon of at least Young Adult age, and get the dragon to agree to provide a vial of its blood and participate in a 6 hour long ritual. Most Dragons will not do so easily, though, and will usually either demand payment or a service to deem the recipient worthy.



    HD: D10
    {table=head]Level|Bab|Fort|Ref|Will|
    Special

    1|
    +0
    |
    +2
    |
    +0
    |
    +2
    |Half-Dragon Body, Breath Weapon Heritage, Wings, Draconic Attributes +1
    [/table]

    Skills Points: 4+Intelligence modifier per level.
    Class skills: Appraise, Intimidate, Knowledge (Arcane), Listen, Spellcraft, and Spot.

    Proficiencies: The Half-Dragon gains proficiency with its own natural weapons.

    Half-Dragon Body:Unlike other monster classes, the Half Dragon doesn't lose his racial ability modifiers, but he does gain Dragon traits, which includes Darkvision out to 60' and immunity to Sleep & Paralysis effects. The Half-Dragon also gains a bite attack and 2 claws as secondary and primary natural weapons, respectively, with the bite starting at 1d6+1/2 Str and the claws at 1d4+Str damage for a medium creature. Those who already possess a claw and/or bite attack keep their normal natural weapons, and their claw and/or bite damage increases as if they had increased in size by one step.
    Finally, the Half-Dragon gains a bonus to natural armor equal to half its Constitution modifier.

    Breath Weapon Heritage: At 1st level, the Half-Dragon chooses its draconic heritage. Rather than choosing a specific dragon type (though it may certainly do so if it chooses), the Half-Dragon has leeway in this matter.
    It gains a breath weapon usable once every 1d4+1 rounds that deals 1d10/2 HD damage of either acid, cold, electricity, fire or sonic damage. Those who choose sonic instead deal 1d8/2 HD damage. Alternate energy types, such as force, hellfire, etc. may be chosen, and they each deal 1d10/3 HD damage. Regardless, they gain a resistance to the energy type they chose equal to their HD. The Half-Dragon can choose either a line or cone breath weapon: the cone has a range of 15' plus 5'/2 HD, and the line has a range of 30' plus 5'/HD.
    Like all breath weapons, those within the area of the half dragon's breath weapon may make a Reflex save DC (10+1/2 HD+Con mod) for half damage.
    Finally, the Half-Dragon may add two skills of its choice to its list of class skills in this and every class to represent its draconic heritage: for example, a half bronze dragon might choose survival and swim, while a half shadow dragon might choose hide and move silently.

    Wings:While the Half-Dragon gains wings, they are not very adept at lifting its clumsy hybrid body. Initially it merely gains a bonus to jump checks equal to its HD and halves all falling damage. By 5 HD, the Half-Dragon is able to fully utilize its wings, gaining a fly speed equal to its land speed with Poor maneuverability. This increases to twice its land speed by 8 HD and Average maneuverability by 12 HD.

    Draconic Attributes: The Half-Dragon gains +1 to either Strength or Constitution and +1 to any mental attribute of choice, which is hereafter referred to as the Mental Draconic Attribute.



    Draconic Paths:
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    For its 2nd level, the Half-Dragon ceases to be a true-dragon-but-lesser, and gains abilities that allow its draconic talents to meld and work with its humanoid skills. Each draconic path has a different prerequisite above and beyond those of the base Half-Dragon. Multiple draconic paths can be taken, though a Half-Dragon can never take the same draconic path twice.

    Sorcerous:
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    Prerequisites:
    Knowledge: Arcane or Religion 5 ranks, Spellcraft 5 ranks
    At least 1 class level in any spontaneous spellcasting class.
    Half-Dragon body class ability.

    HD: D8
    {table=head]Level|Bab|Fort|Ref|Will|
    Special
    |
    Spellcasting

    1|
    +0
    |
    +2
    |
    +0
    |
    +2
    |Breath Channeling, Form of the Dragon, Draconic Attributes +2|+1 level of Spellcasting Class
    [/table]

    Skills Points: 4+Intelligence modifier per level.
    Class skills: Appraise, Concentration, Intimidate, Knowledge (All skills, taken individually), Spellcraft, and Spot.

    Proficiencies: The Spellcasting Half-Dragon gains no new proficiencies.

    Breath Channeling: At 2nd level, the Half-Dragon becomes able to channel its magic through its breath weapon in two ways. In both applications, this ability is activated as a full round action and counts as casting a spell for the purposes of attacks of opportunity, spell interruption, etc.
    Breath Weapon Admixture: With this ability, the Half-Dragon casts a spell and charges it with the energies of its breath weapon. Those who are affected by the spell must also make a Reflex save equal to the Reflex save of the Half-Dragon's breath weapon or take damage as if struck by the breath weapon (though they do not get a second save against this effect.) Using this ability maximizes the cooldown time for the breath weapon (so 5 rounds).
    Spell Breath: This ability allows the Half-Dragon to "breathe out" a spell in place of its breath weapon. The ability only works with spells that have a target other than personal, or area of effect spells. Those spells that require an attack roll instead allow a Reflex save equal to that of the breath weapon to negate the effect: otherwise, all within the breath weapon's area are affected as if the spell was cast on them. This consumes 2 uses of the spell in question, and minimizes the cooldown time for the breath weapon (so 2 rounds). Note that using this ability does not deal breath weapon damage.

    Form of the Dragon: At 2nd level the Half-Dragon may, as a free action, expend one spell slot in order to fuel its draconic blood, gaining a stronger connection to its draconic heritage. These abilities each last a number of rounds equal to the modifier of the mental ability score chosen under draconic attributes, and increase in power based on the spell level burned.
    Spoiler
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    Dragon Skin: Gains DR/Magic equal to twice the the spell level burned, and SR 11+ twice the spell level burned.
    This increases to DR/Epic at 20 HD.
    Dragon Eyes: Gains blindsense out to a distance based on the spell level burned. With 6th level spells it upgrades to blindsight, and with 9th level spells it allows the Half-Dragon to even see enemies normally unaffected by blindsight, such as those with the darkstalker feat or those with superior invisibility.
    {table]Spell level|Range
    1|10'
    2|25'
    3|50'
    4|75'
    5|150'
    6|200'
    7|400'
    8|750'
    9|1000'[/table]
    Dragon Presence: The Half-Dragon gains the Frightful Presence ability. It affects enemies with a range of 20' times the spell level burned and has a Will save DC (10+Spell level burned+Cha mod). Those who fail and have HD less than the spell level burned are panicked; those who have HD less than twice the spell level burned are shaken. Creatures with HD equal to or greater than twice the spell level burned are not effected.
    Dragon Sinews: Gains a Draconic bonus to Strength & Natural Armor equal to the spell level burned.
    Dragon Arsenal: The Half-Dragon's natural attacks are enhanced based on the table below. These additions are cumulative and stack.
    Spoiler
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    {table]Spell level|Bonus
    1|Magic
    2|1 Wing
    3|1 Wing
    4|Damage
    5|Tail Sweep
    6|Material
    7|Pounce
    8|Reach
    9|Damage & Epic[/table]
    Magic: The natural attacks are considered magical weapons.
    Wing: Deals a base 1d4+1/2 Str damage for a medium creature.
    Damage: All natural weapon damage dice increase by one step.
    Tail Sweep: Deals a base 1d8+11/2 Str damage for a medium creature.
    Material: The Half-Dragon may choose to treat the natural attacks as a material of its choice.
    Pounce: The Half-Dragon gains Pounce for the purposes of its natural attacks only. It cannot use manufactured weapons while pouncing.
    Reach: The Half-Dragon's reach increases as if it were one size category larger for the purposes of its natural attacks.
    Epic: The natural attacks are considered epic weapons.


    Draconic Attributes +2: The increases dictated by Draconic Attributes increase to +2.

    Spellcasting:
    The Half-Dragon gains +1 level to a spontaneous spellcasting class used to qualify for this class, much like any other PrC.


    Psionic:
    Spoiler
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    Prerequisites:
    Knowledge: Psionics 5 ranks & Psicraft 5 ranks.
    At least 1 class level in any manifesting class.
    Half-Dragon body class ability.

    HD: d8
    {table=head]Level|Bab|Fort|Ref|Will|
    Special
    |
    Manifesting

    1|
    +0
    |
    +2
    |
    +0
    |
    +2
    |Breath Channeling, Form of the Dragon, Draconic Attributes +2|+1 level of Manifesting Class[/table]

    Skills Points: 4+Intelligence modifier per level.
    Class skills: Appraise, Autohypnosis, Concentration, Intimidate, Knowledge (All skills, taken individually), Psicraft, and Spot.

    Proficiencies: The Psionic Half-Dragon gains no new proficiencies.

    Breath Channeling: The Psionic Half-Dragon becomes able to channel its powers through its breath weapon in two ways. In both applications, this ability is activated as a full round action and counts as manifesting a power for the purposes of attacks of opportunity, spell interruption, augmenting, etc.
    Breath Weapon Admixture: With this ability, the Half-Dragon manifests a power and charges it with the energies of its breath weapon. Those who are affected by the power must also make a Reflex save equal to the Reflex save of the Half-Dragon's breath weapon or take damage as if struck by the breath weapon (though they do not get a second save against this effect.) Using this ability maximizes the cooldown time for the breath weapon (so 5 rounds).
    Spell Breath: This ability allows the Half-Dragon to "breathe out" a power in place of its breath weapon. The ability only works with powers that have a target other than personal, or area of effect powers. Those powers that require an attack roll instead allow a Reflex save equal to that of the breath weapon to negate the effect: otherwise, all within the breath weapon's area are affected as if the power was cast on them. In order to use this ability, the Psionic Half-Dragon must augment said power with 2 additional PP and expend psionic focus. The cooldown for the breath weapon is minimized (so 2 rounds). Note that using this ability does not deal breath weapon damage.

    Form of the Dragon: At 2nd level the Half-Dragon may, as a free action, expend any amount of PP equal to or less than its ML in order to fuel its draconic blood, gaining a stronger connection to its draconic heritage. These abilities each last a number of rounds equal to the modifier of the mental ability score chosen under draconic attributes, and increase in power based on the amount of PP burned.
    Spoiler
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    Dragon Skin: Gains DR/Magic equal to the amount of PP burned, and SR 11+the amount of PP burned.
    This increases to DR/Epic at 20 HD.
    Dragon Eyes: Gains blindsense out to a distance based on the amount of PP burned. At 6th level it upgrades to blindsight, and at 9th level it allows the Half-Dragon to even see enemies normally unaffected by blindsight, such as those with the darkstalker feat or those with superior invisibility.
    {table]PP|Range
    1|10'
    3|25'
    5|50'
    7|75'
    9|150'
    11|250'
    13|400'
    15|600'
    17|1000'[/table]
    Dragon Presence: The Half-Dragon gains the Frightful Presence ability. It affects enemies with a range of 20' times one half the PP burned and has a Will save DC (10+1/2 PP burned+Cha mod). Those who fail and have HD less than half the PP burned are panicked; those who have HD less than PP burned are shaken. Creatures with HD equal to or greater than the PP burned are not affected.
    Dragon Sinews: Gains a Draconic bonus to Strength & Natural Armor equal to half the PP burned, rounded up for natural armor and down for Strength.
    Dragon Arsenal: The Half-Dragon's natural attacks are enhanced based on the table below. These additions are cumulative and stack.
    Spoiler
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    {table]PP|Bonus
    1|Magic
    3|1 Wing
    5|1 Wing
    7|Damage
    9|Tail Sweep
    11|Material
    13|Pounce
    15|Reach
    17|Damage & Epic[/table]
    Magic: The natural attacks are considered magical weapons.
    Wing: Deals a base 1d4+1/2 Str damage for a medium creature.
    Damage: All natural weapon damage dice increase by one step.
    Tail Sweep: Deals a base 1d8+11/2 Str damage for a medium creature.
    Material: The Half-Dragon may choose to treat the natural attacks as a material of its choice.
    Pounce: The Half-Dragon gains Pounce for the purposes of its natural attacks only. It cannot use manufactured weapons while pouncing.
    Reach: The Half-Dragon's reach increases as if it were one size category larger for the purposes of its natural attacks.
    Epic: The natural attacks are considered epic weapons.


    Draconic Attributes +2: The increases dictated by Draconic Attributes increase to +2.

    Manifesting:
    The Half-Dragon gains +1 level to a manifesting class used to qualify for this class, much like any other PrC.


    Sublime Way:
    Spoiler
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    Prerequisites:
    Able to initiate 1st level maneuvers
    Martial Study 4 ranks
    Balance, Concentration, Jump,

    HD: d10
    {table=head]Level|Bab|Fort|Ref|Will|
    Special

    1|
    +1
    |
    +2
    |
    +0
    |
    +2
    |Draconic Initiating, Draconic Attributes +2[/table]

    Skills Points: 6+Intelligence modifier per level.
    Class skills: Appraise, Concentration, Balance, Hide, Intimidate, Jump, Knowledge (Arcana), Martial Study, Sense Motive, Spot, Tumble.

    Draconic Initiating: The level of Sublime Way Half-Dragon counts as an initiating class for the purposes of determining Initiating Level. The Half-Dragon does not learn them normally, but rather adds them to its maneuvers/stances known as soon as it qualifies by merit of Initiator Level. These maneuvers/stances are considered of the Half-Dragon discipline, whose key skill is Intimidate and favored weapons are the Half-Dragon's natural attacks.
    If the Half-Dragon qualified for this class by means of a feat, each maneuver is usable 1/encounter. If the Half-Dragon qualified for this class by means of an initiating class, each maneuver must be readied normally and may be recharged with the class' normal recharge method. Additionally, the Half-Dragon gains an additional maneuver readied, which must be spent on a Half-Dragon maneuver.
    Spoiler
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    Breath Weapon Orb:
    Strike
    Level: 1
    Initiation Action: 1 standard action
    Range: Double Breath Weapon
    Target: 1 creature
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: None
    The Half-Dragon gathers its breath weapon and launches it at an enemy in a large globule as opposed to a cone or a line. This attack allows no save, but requires a ranged touch attack to hit. It is otherwise identical to the standard breath weapon, except where noted.

    Second Wind:

    Boost
    Level: 2
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Duration: Instantaneous
    The Half-Dragon immediately reduces the cooldown time of its breath weapon by 5 rounds. If the Half-Dragon uses its breath weapon the same round this ability is activated, it gains a +1 bonus to the DC for each round the cooldown would have been reduced below 0.

    Weaponized Exhalation:
    Boost
    Level: 3
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Target: 1 melee weapon, natural attack or piece of ammunition
    Duration: 1 round
    The Half-Dragon expels a globule of energy onto a weapon. For the duration of 1 round, that weapon deals additional damage equal to half the breath weapon's damage every time it successfully strikes an enemy.

    Presence of the Dragon:
    Boost
    Level: 4
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Special
    Target: Special
    Duration: 1 round per 4 HD.
    The Half-Dragon gains a facsimile of it's parents awe-inspiring presence. This maneuver may be used only in conjunction with a charge attack, while flying, or when using a strike gained as a part of the Half-Dragon class, and it is a mind-affecting fear effect.
    If the maneuver is used as a part of a charge, the enemy must make a Will save DC (14+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier) or be Stunned and Shaken for 1 round per 3 Initiator Levels of the Half-Dragon. This condition is applied while the Half-Dragon is charging towards the enemy, not after they are stuck.
    If the Half-Dragon is flying, any enemies within 10' of where the Half-Dragon is flying overhead must make a Will save DC (14+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier) or Cower for 1 round.
    If this boost is used in conjunction with a Half-Dragon strike, any enemies affected by the strike must make a Will save DC (14+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier) or be Frightened for 1 round per 3 HD of the Half-Dragon.

    Energy Radiation:
    Stance
    Level: 5
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Target: You
    Duration: Stance
    While this stance is active, the Half-Dragon continually radiates the energies of its breath weapon. All enemies within its natural reach take damage equal to half its breath weapon at the beginning of every turn.

    Burning Charge:
    Strike
    Level: 6
    Initiation Action: 1 full round
    Range: Breath Weapon
    Target: 1 enemy
    As a part of activating this strike, the Half-Dragon uses its breath weapon as normal. It may then choose one enemy within the radius of the breath weapon, and simultaneously makes a charge attack against that enemy. The Half-Dragon may make a full attack at the end of this charge.

    Wings of Grandiosity:
    Strike
    Level: 7
    Initiation Action: 1 standard action
    Range: reach
    Target: all within reach
    The Half-Dragon curls its wings in against its body then spins around, unfurling them to reveal its true splendor and blasting back all its enemies. All enemies within or adjacent to the Half-Dragon's natural reach take 1d4+11/2 Str damage (as a natural weapon- larger Half-Dragons increase damage accordingly) and must succeed on an opposed strength check or are knocked back to the nearest square outside of the Half-Dragon's reach and knocked prone: meanwhile they must also make a Will save DC (17+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier) or cower for 1 round.

    Spinning Dragon Holocaust:
    Strike
    Level: 8
    Initiation Action: 1 full round action
    Range: Special
    Targets: Special
    The Half-Dragon takes to the air, spinning about, strafing its enemies and repeatedly blasting its breath weapon. Initiating this maneuver, the Half-Dragon uses its breath weapon; it then moves to the apex of the breath weapon, and then may use its breath weapon again, afterward moving to the apex of its breath weapon, and then may use its breath weapon one final time, afterward moving to the apex of its breath weapon for a total of 3 breath weapon uses each followed by a movement. The Half-Dragon does not provoke attacks of opportunity for any of this movement.
    The duration of the Half-Dragon's breath weapon cooldown is maximized (so 5 rounds) after using this maneuver.

    Apotheosis:
    Boost
    Level: 9
    Initiation Action: 1 Standard Action
    Range: Self
    Duration: 3 rounds
    The Half-Dragon purges itself of all its weaker blood for 3 rounds, becoming a true dragon based on its parentage. This has the following effects:
    • +8 bonus to both Strength and the mental Draconic Attribute ability score.
    • Grows to Gargantuan size or 1 size category larger (whichever is bigger).
    • Base fly speed increases to 4x normal.
    • Triple natural armor.
    • Breath Weapon deals double damage, double range, and the save DC is increased by 4.
    • Gains 2 wing attacks at 2d6+1/2 Str, and 1 tail slap at 2d8+11/2 Str, both as secondary natural weapons. These damage dice assume Gargantuan size.
    • Gains the Crush ability.
      Spoiler
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      This special attack allows a flying or jumping dragon of at least Huge size to land on opponents as a standard action, using its whole body to crush them. Crush attacks are effective only against opponents three or more size categories smaller than the dragon (though it can attempt normal overrun or grapple attacks against larger opponents).

      A crush attack affects as many creatures as can fit under the dragonís body. Creatures in the affected area must succeed on a Reflex save (DC equal to that of the dragonís breath weapon) or be pinned, automatically taking bludgeoning damage during the next round unless the dragon moves off them. If the dragon chooses to maintain the pin, treat it as a normal grapple attack. Pinned opponents take damage from the crush each round if they donít escape.

      A crush attack deals the 4d6+1Ĺ Str for a Gargantuan dragon.

    • Gains a Tail Sweep attack.

      Spoiler
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      This special attack allows a dragon of at least Gargantuan size to sweep with its tail as a standard action. The sweep affects a half-circle with a radius of 30 feet (or 40 feet for a Colossal dragon), extending from an intersection on the edge of the dragonís space in any direction. Creatures within the swept area are affected if they are four or more size categories smaller than the dragon. A tail sweep deals 2d6+1Ĺ Str for a Gargantuan dragon. Affected creatures can attempt Reflex saves to take half damage (DC equal to that of the dragonís breath weapon).

    • Automatically enters the Presence of the Dragon stance. It affects even those immune to Mind-Affecting. Those who aren't immune to Mind-Affecting are considered to have half their normal HD for the purposes of that stance. The Half-Dragon may maintain both this stance and one other stance for the duration of Apotheosis.


    Draconic Attributes +2: The increases dictated by Draconic Attributes increase to +2.


    Draconic:
    Spoiler
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    Those who choose not to meld their dragon ancestry with a specific skillset can choose to focus and expand on their dragon side.
    Prerequisites:
    Knowledge (Arcana) 5 ranks, 5 ranks each in the 2 chosen skills under Breath Weapon Heritage.
    At least one of the following feats:
    Ability Focus (Breath Weapon)
    Improved Flight
    Improved Natural Armor
    Improved Natural Attack
    Multiattack

    HD: D12
    {table=head]Level|Bab|Fort|Ref|Will|
    Special

    1|
    +1
    |
    +2
    |
    +2
    |
    +2
    |Draconic Evolution, Draconic Attributes +2
    [/table]

    Skills Points: 6+Intelligence modifier per level.
    Class skills: Appraise, Bluff, Disguise, Intimidate, Knowledge (Arcana), Listen, Search, Spellcraft, Spot, Survival, and Swim.

    Draconic Evolution: Gains two of the following abilities, plus an additional 1 for every 5 HD the Half-Dragon possesses (rounded down).
    Spoiler
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    • Powerful Build. If this ability is taken again, the Half-Dragon loses Powerful Build and grows to large size, gaining +10' to its base land speed (and its fly speed increasing accordingly).
    • Alternate Form (usable 1/day per 2 HD, small or medium humanoid only).
    • 2 Wing attacks dealing 1d4+1/2 Str damage & 1 Tail attack dealing 1d8+11/2 Str mod damage.
    • 1 SLA with a type the same as the parent dragon's subtype or that the parent dragon can cast sometime during its life of a level no greater than 1/2 the Half-Dragon's HD. The SLA is usable 1/Spell Level times per day per HD, and has a save DC of (10+1/2 HD+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier). Every morning the Half-Dragon may switch out the SLA for another it qualifies for. This ability may be taken as many times as the Half-Dragon wishes.
    • May choose to have its breath weapon deal half regular damage and half untyped.
    • The Frightful Presence ability: has a radius of 10' per HD and a save DC (10+1/2 HD+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier). Those of an HD less than the Half-Dragon's are shaken, and those of an HD less than 1/2 the Half-Dragon's are panicked.
    • Blindsense out to 10' per HD, as well as doubling the Half-Dragon's current darkvision and granting superior low light vision (giving 4x the normal vision in shadowy illumination, as opposed to 2x). The Blindsense upgrades to Blindsight at 12 HD.
    • DR/Magic equal to HD and SR of 11+HD.


    Draconic Attributes +2: The increases dictated by Draconic Attributes increase to +2.


    Other: Any other abilities along these lines applying to a specific class may be designed, as the goal of the Half-Dragon is not to be a dragon-but-lesser, but to synergize the draconic and humanoid (i.e. PC class) aspects. As this was impossible with the Mundane aspect, it is suggested that PCs who do not fall under spellcasting, manifesting or initiating to tailor the 2nd level draconic abilities to their own class of choice.


    Comments:
    Spoiler
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    So. Half Dragon. Redone. Tell your friends. I wanted to get all the superficial/necessary stuff out of the way with the first level, so that's why it's a little bland. I hope the 2nd level should make up for it.
    Mundane draconic stuff is kindof throwaway, but that's what you get for choosing D: none of the above. If anyone has suggestions for other paths, feel free to say so and, so long as I know it, I'll make an adaptation around it. However, I'd rather not make adaptations for specific classes (raging, knight's challenge, smiting, etc.) Note that the Sublime Way is going to be both rather potent and easy to qualify for even if you never take an initiating class, as you can take care of the maneuver with one feat and just go from there. Nevertheless, I wanted to accommodate those who do not use ToB, insane as they may be.
    I don't know incarnum nor pact magic, and thus did not make adaptations for those. However, I will be looking up the rules on such and attempting to make adaptations... but if anyone else wants to help out, it would not be refused.
    Also, I know a lot of it is terribly worded. Totally my bad, but I'm kindof stumped as to how to word it better.


    Changelog:
    Spoiler
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    Altered Breath Channeling & Form of the Dragon a bit, and the psionic adaptation accordingly.
    Altered a few maneuvers- Second Wind, Bodily Exhalation, Burning Charge and Wings of Grandiosity.
    Altered the Mundane Half-Dragon's natural attacks & blindsense.

    Reduced HD, BAB, and formatting stuff. Changed natural armor. Altered Draconic Presence maneuver.

    Upped the breath weapon damage a bit and changed half brass to half bronze (which is what I originally intended.) Made each adaptation have different chassis, allowed mundane to have 3 abilities and increased DR.
    Last edited by Gorgondantess; 2011-04-05 at 10:51 AM.
    Marceline Abadeer by Gnomish Wanderer

  20. - Top - End - #1400
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Gender
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeckoKing View Post
    • Vivisector got a vote! Yay!
    • Aboleth.........it's getting there, it its own slimy way.
    • Pandorym however, is a more pressing matter. I know Hyudra has a no-psionics thing going on because of lack of knowledge, buuuuuut.......i'm going to poke people with sticks and request a look-over (even a very brief one will make me a happy lizard-lich) from anyone willing, simply because I can't think of anything else to do for now, other than changing a few abilities/givine others the switcheroo, which I have done.
    I'll try to give you some Pandorym feedback. Keep in mind that this would be only the second critique I've ever done, so take my advice with many grains of salt.


    • First, there are no ability score upgrades on this class. Those tend to be kinda important. I'd say Charisma and (maybe) Constitution.
    • BAB is pathetic and strictly worse than the psion/wizard. Poor thing will never hit anything! Bump it up to at least 1/2 BAB.
    • No natural armor either? For shame! Although natural armor might not make as much sense in this situation. Maybe give it a deflection bonus equal to its Cha.
    • Abilities not labeled (Ex), (Su), or (Sp). For some reason, this really bothers me.
    • Regarding Manifestation of Will, it says to pick 3 disciplines and you can only manifest from those. Does that include the psion-only discipline powers, or just the powers from the main psion/wilder list? If the former, you might want to bump it down to 2 disciplines at most. Even then, it's still akin to giving a wizard multiple specializations, so tread with caution.
    • Powers known per level seems to be somewhere between psion and psychic warrior. It's probably a good amount if it can use the discipline-specific powers.
    • The save on Faint Sign of Binding should follow normal save progression: 10 + 1/2 HD + ability mod. Otherwise, nice and flavorful.
    • The limbs on Corporealize shouldn't have a duration. When you first get the ability, as written, you would only get a minimum of 7 X Int rounds worth of holding things, and that's only if you don't use PP for anything else. That translates to just under three minutes. There's already enough penalty for manifesting and using the limbs, it doesn't need a duration tacked on to it as well, in my opinion.
    • I'd say that you should only get one attack when using Mental Smog. There should be some trade-off or it would make using BAB mostly meaningless.
    • Magical Buffer and Red Rage are fine at a glance.
    • 9th level is probably about right to gain incorporeality. Does Pandorym lose its Strength score? If so, what replaces it to hit?
    • Orange Mind Acid has a typo. The ability is gained at 10th level and does 1 point of Wisdom drain. It then goes on to say at 10th level, it does 2 points of Wisdom damage. There's something wrong here that really needs to be fixed.
    • Moderate Sign of Binding is a bit too narrow to be worth a level all on its own. Still a nice ability, though.
    • Lightning Speed isn't too powerful at 12th level. Good.
    • Again, Psionic Leech is too narrow of an ability to stand on its own. Maybe make it apply to casters somehow, or add another minor ability at 13th level. Also, they manifest "powers", not "spells".
    • Green Glow: Location of Sympathy spell?
    • Strong Sign of Binding: Again, narrow, but not as much as the other abilities. Again, consider widening the focus or adding some other ability at 15th level.
    • Turquoise Tyrant, Anathematic Secrecy, and Indigo Insanity are fine.
    • Psionic Vortex: Still a little narrow, but it has a benefit that directly helps the player, so I'll let this one slide. On the table, it's still called Psionic Black Hole, though. Might want to change that.
    • I really like Purple Punishment. This is the kind of flavorful, over-the-top ability that defines what a capstone should be to me.
    • Overwhelming Sign of Binding is a little ambiguous. Does it also apply on the Material and Transitive Planes?



    On to Creature of Annihilation:

    ...Actually, I really don't have any problems with the prestige. Everything is so crazy at epic levels that that you could put anything and it wouldn't make much difference.
    Last edited by Makiru; 2011-03-22 at 09:07 PM.
    Proud beta-tester for Pirates vs. Ninjas

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    Don't have enough templates in your life? Let's Read the Book of Templates: Deluxe Edition!(Abandoned)


    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    Where did you start yours?

    In the employer/BBEG's mansion.

  21. - Top - End - #1401
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Gray Jester updated. Posting responses to Gorgon's last critique here:


    Quote Originally Posted by The Antigamer View Post
    Spoiler
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gorgondantess;
    Gray Jester: 50' move speed is a little much for level 1.
    Alright, I'll make it 30' to start, and add +10 speed at HD 3 and HD 6.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorgondantess;
    Hideous Laughter: does the feint force them to make the save, or actually hitting them? Either way, that's a pretty silly high save DC for something that can be accomplished so easily.
    From what I gathered of Oslecamo's original class, I think the mechanics were if you feinted before making the attack to hit the creature, you would add your full charisma modifier to the Hideous Laughter DC instead of 1/2 charisma. I changed the wording to try to make it more clear.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorgondantess;
    Devour joy: "All laughing creature[s] can"
    Don't abbreviate randomly.
    Anyways, I see no reason why a gray jester would ever use this. Those under the effects of a hideous laughter spell have pretty much already lost. This makes them not lose, and then weakens the jester.
    Whoops, I thought I had changed the part about them stopping laughing. Now they get an extra save to stop laughing instead. If you think this is an unattractive ability, then there are three ways to improve it:
    1. Hideous Laughter effects remain, with no new save attempt, after a Devour Joy.
    2. No penalties for using Devour Joy.
    3. Increase benefits of Devour Joy.
    Which of those, or combination of those, should I implement to make the ability better?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorgondantess;
    Joy slaves: Ehhhh... I donno... that means you could get a bunch of characters equal to your ECL as joy slaves. Including wizards, who never use charisma. Kindof difficult, but very, very possible.
    Yes, which is why I was considering having the ability be based on the combined HD of the creatures, like a cleric controlling undead, but Hyudra said she thought the 1/5 HD limit would probably work.
    I removed the weakness for using Devour Joy, to try to make the ability see more use. I also created a Bleak One template, and may have made it a bit on the strong side, in another attempt to make Devour Joy useful. I figured removing spells unless the Jester is actively controlling the Bleak One would preserve the action economy. This is a vision of a Jester with a few rather powerful Bleak Ones. Alternatively, I could remove the ability to cast spells, use SLAs at all, and increase the number of slaves a jester can have, trading potentially powerful individual slaves for a mob of physical mooks (and the ability to make a circus ). I could also have the template be more along the many mooks line, and allow the Jester to choose one to be more powerful, like the current template. If I go that route, or the mook route, I'd probably make the amount controlled be based off of total HD of all controlled Bleak Ones, like a cleric controlling undead.
    Last edited by The Antigamer; 2011-03-24 at 12:34 AM.

  22. - Top - End - #1402
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Half Dragon:

    -You may want to add "any non-dragon" to the prerequisites, mostly because it makes a lot of sense. I suppose a dragon of one color could pick up abilities of another color, but it's still not a "half-dragon." It doesn't matter that much, it just makes one wonder just how dragon can a dragon get?

    -Except in extremely dull or simplistic monsters, 2 skill points per level never feels right. It doesn't even feel right on fighters, and it definitely never felt right on Duskblades, who this class appears to be modeled after (I'm playing a Duskblade in a RL campaign, the Int focus does NOT make up for the low skill points, contrary to popular belief).

    -Natural armor should stack with natural armor from other "sources" not just other "races."

    -Breath Weapon Heritage: Energy resistance equal to HD of the same type as breath weapon. As it is they can just choose an energy type.

    -Breath weapon DCs are almost always con-based. Seems odd to make it cha-based, especially if they weren't a cha-based caster before they entered the PrC.

    -The Draconic Wings feat is strictly better than the wings gained initially by this class, which strikes me as lousy because I HATE kobolds and now the smug little kobolds are better fliers than your half-dragon. The fact that yours evolve into decent flight later makes up for it, but... I just really hate the whole kobolds = dragons thing... so I try to take everything they have away. It doesn't have to matter...

    -I've already stated my excitement for breath channeling, but I think you've made the cost too high when you could have instead spread the potential out so it scales. Using the same cost for both breath weapon admixture and spell breath is probably the biggest problem.

    First breath weapon admixture: Not good at all for what it costs. You throw some energy damage on top of your spell? I suppose that's neat if you cast a non-damaging BFC spell, but it's never going to be worth two uses of the same spell. Breath weapons generally work like weak evocation spells, and so burning two of your good spells to throw in the crappy effects of a breath weapon is just plain lame. Also, why does it cost spells when you're adding breath weapon damage? Shouldn't it instead count as a use of your breath weapon and the spell you cast, rather than two uses of a spell and no uses of your breath weapon?

    Now spell breath:

    Full-round action + 2 spells lost + provokes AoO + can be interrupted + you're not doing it again this encounter (That's what double cooldown does) = way too high a price AND a lot of unnecessary complexity.

    A lot of the duskblade's Arcane Channeling isn't just about effectiveness but about making it simple enough to use in a fight. You make a melee attack, add spell effects, and scratch a spell per day off. That's the kind of simple + effective you can use, because it's exactly as complicated as casting a spell, not a bit more.

    So I suggest first restricting the types of spells Breath Channeling works with, you can add more later. How about spells with an area in their entry? Affecting everyone in the breath weapon's area with a ray of enfeeblement at 3rd level is really cool, but also insanely good and should come later with a HD requirement. The cost does not make up for it, because it's just a strangely high cost for an ability that doesn't really fit the higher cost. It's just awkward when it could instead make a lot of sense.

    If you don't restrict the spells the ability works with, then I think it's just too insanely good for the level at which it is gained.

    You can: Turn touch-ranged spells into area effects. Turn personal-range spells into area-effects. Two spell slots is too LOW a cost for this stuff.

    Later on you can buff your entire party by breathing on them, which is AWESOME, but it should come LATER.

    Provoking an AoO is OK I suppose, breath weapons don't provoke AoOs, but if you want that limitation on there that's fine, except now you've added up to two rolls to what was a simple standard action (I know it's a full round action to breath channel, the point is that the spell and the breath weapon were originally standard actions), because this ability can be gained at 3 and the character won't be auto-succeeding concentration checks yet.


    That's all I have time to do right now, RL calls (rather urgently), but breath channeling needs to be leveled out.

    P.S. I really like that you included an adaptation section. I may never have had a problem with sorcerer dragons, but other people did, and just because I never had a problem with it doesn't mean it's not nice to see something DIFFERENT. There's so much dragon material out there it's sickening, because it's ALL THE SAME. Scales, claws, bite, breath weapon, two immunities, frightful presence, over and over and over again. As I said in an earlier post, maybe I'm just dragon'd out, so anything NEW is a breath of fresh air.

  23. - Top - End - #1403
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyudra View Post
    I'm not offended. Not at all.
    Ugh. That's what I get for posting at what somewhere close to midnight. What I meant is that while your comments are useful anyway, in this case, you actually managed to inadvertently inspire me to write more abilities.
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    I have Str 5!

    Quote Originally Posted by BobVosh View Post
    Wall of text attacks! CRITS!

  24. - Top - End - #1404
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    The Half-Dragon has been updated. I worked in some battle field control effects, additional blastiness, or other options into the various types of Half-Dragon, strongly improved the 1st level (but at the same time, made it not as awesome as some others) and made the second level equally sexy.

    I would like to note that immediately following the completion of my update, I saw that Gorgon had finished updating his. I still disagree with his, mostly because it's a Prestige class. That is ALSO an inherited template that you have from birth.
    Last edited by NineThePuma; 2011-03-23 at 12:32 AM.

  25. - Top - End - #1405
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloody Initiate View Post
    You may want to add "any non-dragon" to the prerequisites, mostly because it makes a lot of sense. I suppose a dragon of one color could pick up abilities of another color, but it's still not a "half-dragon." It doesn't matter that much, it just makes one wonder just how dragon can a dragon get?
    Half-Red Bronze Dragon. I've done it before. Why not? It's fun.

    -Except in extremely dull or simplistic monsters, 2 skill points per level never feels right. It doesn't even feel right on fighters, and it definitely never felt right on Duskblades, who this class appears to be modeled after (I'm playing a Duskblade in a RL campaign, the Int focus does NOT make up for the low skill points, contrary to popular belief).
    Mainly for balance. Remember that these are innate abilities gained from heritage, not training, so 2+int skill points is justified. Also, most classes entering it will have 2+int skill points, so it keeps things nice and uncomplicated.

    -Natural armor should stack with natural armor from other "sources" not just other "races."
    Nnnnno... Just other races. I don't want it to stack with stuff that doesn't stack with racial armor bonuses.

    -Breath Weapon Heritage: Energy resistance equal to HD of the same type as breath weapon. As it is they can just choose an energy type.
    Ah. I have deleted 1 'o' from the ability's description. I meant to write "chose", not "choose".

    -Breath weapon DCs are almost always con-based. Seems odd to make it cha-based, especially if they weren't a cha-based caster before they entered the PrC.
    Ah, right. Will do. A holdover from my previous iteration.

    First breath weapon admixture: Not good at all for what it costs. You throw some energy damage on top of your spell? I suppose that's neat if you cast a non-damaging BFC spell, but it's never going to be worth two uses of the same spell.
    Or you could mix it with something like a metamagick'd wings of flurry and dish out some serious damage. In actuality, though, it's more meant to be used on lower level spells you wouldn't otherwise use: for example, for more conservative combat, using it with a colour spray. And remember, for higher level spells, you already have an extra spell slot per day.
    Thing is, NORMALLY it's not going to be too powerful, but there are a few pretty potent combinations possible there. What blaster mage would mind tying a bit of extra damage to their nova?

    Full-round action + 2 spells lost + provokes AoO + can be interrupted + you're not doing it again this encounter (That's what double cooldown does) = way too high a price AND a lot of unnecessary complexity.
    Not really. It's casting a full-round action spell that costs 2 spell slots instead of one.

    You can: Turn touch-ranged spells into area effects.
    Intentional. Yes, it's an area, but it also allows a save to negate. Orb of fire isn't a higher level than fireball because it adds dazing.
    Turn personal-range spells into area-effects.
    THAT I will restrict. Good call.

    Later on you can buff your entire party by breathing on them, which is AWESOME, but it should come LATER.
    Not hard to get a rod of chain spell that does the same thing. And that's WBL as opposed to a caster level, which thou shalt not lose.

    Right now, I'm not going to change anything there. Not that I necessarily don't think it should be changed- you certainly bring up some valid points, but I want to wait for a second or third opinion on this one.

    P.S. I really like that you included an adaptation section. I may never have had a problem with sorcerer dragons, but other people did, and just because I never had a problem with it doesn't mean it's not nice to see something DIFFERENT. There's so much dragon material out there it's sickening, because it's ALL THE SAME. Scales, claws, bite, breath weapon, two immunities, frightful presence, over and over and over again. As I said in an earlier post, maybe I'm just dragon'd out, so anything NEW is a breath of fresh air.
    Oh, you still get all that, just in a different package.
    (Okay, granted, each one has a little more to it- like the breath channeling- though the mundane is pretty much just that, as I have nothing else to work with.)
    Marceline Abadeer by Gnomish Wanderer

  26. - Top - End - #1406
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by Gorgondantess View Post
    Half-Dragon
    Crappy Pic.
    The picture looks like it has FUR. What the crap?

    Spoiler
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    Prerequisites:
    Able to spontaneously cast 1st level spells.
    Knowledge: Arcana 4 ranks.
    Language: Draconic.
    Any creature type but undead or construct. Dragons are extremely prolific creatures, but even they can't mate with the inanimate.
    Wait, wait, wait.
    Acquired And Inherited Templates
    Some templates can be added to creatures anytime. Templates such as these are referred to as acquired templates, indicating that the creature did not always have the attributes of the template.

    Other templates, known as inherited templates, are part of a creature from the beginning of its existence. Creatures are born with these templates.
    Creating A Half-Dragon
    "Half-dragon" is an inherited template that can be added to any living, corporeal creature (referred to hereafter as the base creature).
    This already breaks from the source material in a very large fashion and honestly breaks the class in my opinion. Breaks it in terms of fluff and flavor and stuff, not breaks as in the class is broken.

    Also, the default is still a spell caster, and I'd like to note that I severely dislike that. Instead, I would make the baselines NOT a stupid gishy build, and have it mundane, with the gishiness being an added bonus.


    Skills: 2 + Intelligence modifier per level.
    Class skills: Appraise, Concentration, Intimidate, Knowledge (Arcane), Search, Spellcraft, and Spot.
    Validate these skill choices to me. It 'innately' knows magical traditions, or things about identifying constructs? It naturally has a sense of the value of certain objects?

    Breath Weapon Heritage: At 1st level, the Half-Dragon chooses its draconic heritage. Rather than choosing a specific dragon type (though it may certainly do so if it chooses), the Half-Dragon has leeway in this matter.
    It gains a breath weapon usable once every 1d4+1 rounds that deals 1d8/2 HD damage of either acid, cold, electricity, fire or sonic damage. Those who choose sonic instead deal 1d6/2 HD damage. Alternate energy types, such as force, hellfire, etc. may be chosen, and they each deal 1d8/3 HD damage. Regardless, they gain a resistance to the energy type they chose equal to their HD. The Half-Dragon can choose either a line or cone breath weapon: the cone has a range of 15' plus 5'/2 HD, and the line has a range of 30' plus 5'/HD.
    Like all breath weapons, those within the area of the half dragon's breath weapon may make a Reflex save DC (10+1/2 HD+Con mod)
    Finally, the Half-Dragon may add two skills of its choice to its list of class skills in this and every class to represent its draconic heritage: for example, a half brass dragon might choose survival and swim, while a half shadow dragon might choose hide and move silently.
    Why the odd breath recharge? You also didn't complete your thought on reflex saves. Additionally, Brass dragons DON'T HAVE swim as a class skill.

    Bonus Spells: The Half-Dragon, at first level, gains a bonus spell per day that it may assign to any spell level. Every time it levels up, it may change which spell level the bonus spell is assigned to.
    At 2nd level, the Half-Dragon gains an additional bonus spell per day, though it may not assign both its bonus spell per day to the same spell level unless it can only cast one level of spells.
    *kicks the Spell-caster ness that has nothing to do with actually being a half-dragon*

    From a balance perspective, this is actually REALLY good. Like, seriously. Awesome dip.


    Breath Channeling: At 2nd level, the Half-Dragon becomes able to channel its magic through its breath weapon in two ways. In both applications, this ability is activated as a full round action, consumes 2 uses per day of the spell of choice, counts as casting a spell for the purposes of attacks of opportunity, spell interruption, etc., and doubles the cooldown time of the breath weapon.
    Breath Weapon Admixture: With this ability, the Half-Dragon casts a spell and charges it with the energies of its breath weapon. Those who are affected by the spell must also make a Reflex save equal to the Reflex save of the Half-Dragon's breath weapon or take damage as if struck by the breath weapon (though they do not get a second save against this effect.)
    Spell Breath: This ability allows the Half-Dragon to "breath out" a spell in place of its breath weapon. Those spells that require an attack roll instead allow a Reflex save equal to that of the breath weapon to negate the effect: otherwise, all within the breath weapon's area are affected as if the spell was cast on them.
    So, basically, Breath Weapon Admixture is useless, as its just a little bit of extra damage that has a SEPARATE SAVE and Spell Breath is basically a free Shape Spell + Chain Spell? That's messed up.

    Form of the Dragon: At 2nd level the Half-Dragon may, as a free action, expend one spell slot in order to fuel its draconic blood, gaining a stronger connection to its draconic heritage. These abilities each last a number of rounds equal to the modifier of the mental ability score chosen under draconic attributes, and increase in power based on the spell level of the spell level burned.
    -snip-
    Yay, something that has NO SUPPORT anywhere in the fluff I can think of, except POSSIBLY the 3.0 Dragon Disciple. I'd also like to note that this is perhaps, the single best gishy class ever PURELY because of this ability.


    Adaptation:
    Spoiler
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    While Half-Dragons are usually sorcerous, some simply don't have an aptitude for it. As such, the below adaptations are listed for those classes:

    Psionic: Prerequisite of spontaneous spellcasting is changed to "Able to manifest 1st level powers".
    Gains +1 effective Manifesting Level (just for the purposes of maximum power points, duration, range, etc.) at 1st level and +1 Manifesting Level (much like a PrC) at 2nd level, losing the bonus spontaneous spellcasting and bonus spell slots.
    Breath Channeling: Identical, though it channels powers instead of spells, and rather than requiring the casting of the spell twice to use the ability requires augmenting the power with 2 PP and expending psionic focus (as well as doubling the cooldown time for breath weapon, as normal).
    Form of the Dragon: Replace all instances of "spell level" with "half PP" and the initial instance of "one spell slot" with "An amount of PP equal to no more than the Half-Dragon's Manifester Level". Otherwise identical.
    Again, Breath Weapon Admixture is useless, and Spell Breath (Power Breath?) is amazing. Form of the Dragon is still fluffless, but it looks relatively balanced. To the above, anyways.

    Sublime Way:
    Prerequisite of spontaneous spellcasting is changed to "Able to initiate 1st level maneuvers."
    Rather than gaining spellcasting progression and bonus spell slots, the Half-Dragon's levels are considered full initiating levels.
    Breath Channeling & Form of the Dragon are replaced with a list of maneuvers & stances. The Half-Dragon does not learn them normally, but rather adds them to its maneuvers/stances known as soon as it qualifies by merit of Initiator Level.
    This is gonna be fun!
    Spoiler
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    Breath Weapon Orb:
    Strike
    Level: 1
    Initiation Action: 1 standard action
    Range: Double Breath Weapon
    Target: 1 creature
    Duration: Instantaneous
    Saving Throw: None
    The Half-Dragon gathers its breath weapon and launches it at an enemy in a large globule as opposed to a cone or a line. This attack allows no save, but requires a ranged touch attack to hit. It is otherwise identical to the standard breath weapon, except where noted.
    ... It hits someone further away? Seriously, this is useless and I'd never actually ready this maneuver.

    Second Wind:
    Boost
    Level: 2
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Duration: Instantaneous
    The Half-Dragon immediately reduces the cooldown time of its breath weapon by 6 rounds.
    Still wouldn't ready it, unless I'm abusing metabreath feats a ton.

    Burning Brand:
    Boost
    Level: 3
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Target: 1 melee weapon, natural attack or piece of ammunition
    Duration: 1 round
    The Half-Dragon expels a globule of energy onto a weapon. For the duration of 1 round, that weapon deals additional damage equal to half the breath weapon's damage every time it successfully strikes an enemy.
    Burning Brand is an ACTUAL maneuver. I assume you'll want to change the name.

    Presence of the Dragon:
    Stance
    Level: 4
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Target: You
    Duration: Stance
    While this stance is active, the Half-Dragon gains a dragon's Frightful Presence. It affects enemies within a range of 10' per initiator level and has a Will save DC (14+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier). Those who fail and have HD less than half the Half-Dragon's initiator level are panicked; those who fail and have HD less than the Half-Dragon's initiator level are shaken.
    What happens to things with more HD than the Half Dragon's initiator level? Also, useless if it follows the normal stuff.

    Bodily Exhalation:
    Stance
    Level: 5
    Initiation Action: 1 swift action
    Range: Personal
    Target: You
    Duration: Stance
    While this stance is active, the Half-Dragon continually exhales its breath weapon out of every pore in its body. All enemies within reach take damage equal to half its breath weapon at the beginning of every turn.
    Shouldn't that read 'Natural Reach'? Also, how the HECK do you breath out your pores? Further, what's making your allies immune?

    Burning Charge:
    Strike
    Level: 6
    Initiation Action: 1 full round
    Range: Breath Weapon
    Target: 1 enemy
    As a part of activating this strike, the Half-Dragon uses its breath weapon as normal. It may then choose one enemy within the radius of the breath weapon, and simultaneously makes a charge attack against that enemy.I would give it a bonus to its charge attack of some kind. The opponent is flatfooted against it or something.

    Wings of Grandiosity:
    Strike
    Level: 7
    Initiation Action: 1 standard action
    Range: reach
    Target: all within reach
    The Half-Dragon curls its wings in against its body then spins around, unfurling them to reveal its true splendor and blasting back all its enemies. All enemies within reach take 1d4+1/2 Str damage and must succeed on an opposed strength check or are knocked back to the nearest square outside of the Half-Dragon's reach: meanwhile they must make a Will save DC (17+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier) or cower for 1 round.
    See my comments about natural reach.

    Spinning Dragon Holocaust:
    Strike
    Level: 8
    Initiation Action: 1 full round action
    Range: Special
    Targets: Special
    The Half-Dragon takes to the air, spinning about, strafing its enemies and repeatedly blasting its breath weapon. Initiating this maneuver, the Half-Dragon uses its breath weapon; it then moves to the apex of the breath weapon, and then may use its breath weapon again, afterward moving to the apex of its breath weapon, and then may use its breath weapon one final time, afterward moving to the apex of its breath weapon for a total of 3 breath weapon uses each followed by a movement. The Half-Dragon does not provoke attacks of opportunity for any of this movement.
    The Half-Dragon cannot use its breath weapon for another 1d4+1 minutes after this maneuver.
    Oh my. I can use this to deal my breath weapon's damage 3 times in a single turn. I do think that the cool down is a little ridiculous though.

    Apotheosis:
    Boost
    Level: 9
    Initiation Action: 1 Standard Action
    Range: Self
    Duration: 3 rounds
    The Half-Dragon purges itself of all its weaker blood for 3 rounds, becoming a true dragon based on its parentage. This has the following effects:
    • +8 bonus to both Strength and the mental Draconic Attribute ability score.
    • Grows to Gargantuan size or 1 size category larger (whichever is bigger).
    • Base fly speed increases to 4x normal.
    • Triple natural armor.
    • Breath Weapon deals double damage, double range, and the save DC is increased by 4.
    • Gains 2 wing attacks at 2d6+1/2 Str, and 1 tail slap at 2d8+11/2 Str, both as secondary natural weapons. These damage dice assume Gargantuan size.
    • Gains the Crush ability.
      Spoiler
      Show
      This special attack allows a flying or jumping dragon of at least Huge size to land on opponents as a standard action, using its whole body to crush them. Crush attacks are effective only against opponents three or more size categories smaller than the dragon (though it can attempt normal overrun or grapple attacks against larger opponents).

      A crush attack affects as many creatures as can fit under the dragonís body. Creatures in the affected area must succeed on a Reflex save (DC equal to that of the dragonís breath weapon) or be pinned, automatically taking bludgeoning damage during the next round unless the dragon moves off them. If the dragon chooses to maintain the pin, treat it as a normal grapple attack. Pinned opponents take damage from the crush each round if they donít escape.

      A crush attack deals the 4d6+1Ĺ Str for a Gargantuan dragon.

    • Gains a Tail Sweep attack.

      Spoiler
      Show
      This special attack allows a dragon of at least Gargantuan size to sweep with its tail as a standard action. The sweep affects a half-circle with a radius of 30 feet (or 40 feet for a Colossal dragon), extending from an intersection on the edge of the dragonís space in any direction. Creatures within the swept area are affected if they are four or more size categories smaller than the dragon. A tail sweep deals 2d6+1Ĺ Str for a Gargantuan dragon. Affected creatures can attempt Reflex saves to take half damage (DC equal to that of the dragonís breath weapon).

    • Automatically enters the Presence of the Dragon stance. It affects even those immune to Mind-Affecting. Those who aren't immune to Mind-Affecting are considered to have half their normal HD for the purposes of that stance. The Half-Dragon may maintain both this stance and one other stance for the duration of Apotheosis.

    Wow, this is ridiculous. But it takes a STANDARD ACTION TO INITIATE, and therefore is less useful. However, I will note, with a Warblade, I can actually perform this maneuver once every two turns.


    Mundane:

    Remove requirement of spontaneous spellcasting for +1 BAB and +2 will save.
    Loses bonus spells, spontaneous spellcasting progression, form of the dragon and breath channeling.
    At 2nd level, may choose 2 of the following abilities:

    Spoiler
    Show
    Powerful Build. If this ability is taken again, the Half-Dragon loses Powerful Build and grows to large size, gaining +10' to its base land speed (and its fly speed increasing accordingly).

    Alternate Form (usable 1/day per 2 HD, small or medium humanoid only).

    2 Wing attacks dealing 1d4+1/2 Str damage.

    1 Tail attack dealing 1d8+11/2 Str mod damage.

    1 SLA with a type the same as the parent dragon's subtype or that the parent dragon can cast sometime during its life of a level no greater than 1/2 the Half-Dragon's HD. The SLA is usable 1/Spell Level times per day per HD, and has a save DC of (10+1/2 HD+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier). Every morning the Half-Dragon may switch out the SLA for another it qualifies for. This ability may be taken twice, for 2 SLAs.

    May choose to have its breath weapon deal half regular damage and half untyped.

    The Frightful Presence ability: has a radius of 10' per HD and a save DC (10+1/2 HD+Mental Draconic Attribute modifier). Those of an HD less than the Half-Dragon's are shaken, and those of an HD less than 1/2 the Half-Dragon's are panicked.

    Blindsense out to 10' per HD.

    DR/Magic of 1/2 HD and SR of 11+HD.

    Most of these are USELESS. Seriously. You should let Powerful Build boost the damage of all natural attacks. Also, Frightful Presence is useless. Its ALWAYS been useless, as HD increase faster than CR.


    Other: Any other abilities along these lines applying to a specific class may be designed, as the goal of the Half-Dragon is not to be a dragon but lesser, but to synergize the draconic and humanoid (i.e. PC class) aspects. As this was impossible with the Mundane aspect, it is suggested that PCs who do not fall under spellcasting, manifesting or initiating to tailor the 2nd level draconic abilities to their own class of choice.
    Replies in green.
    Last edited by NineThePuma; 2011-03-23 at 01:26 AM.

  27. - Top - End - #1407
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Quote Originally Posted by NineThePuma View Post
    Replies in orange.
    Light orange against light green is hard to read. My eyes, they bleed.

    Also, biased critique is biased.
    Last edited by Hyudra; 2011-03-23 at 01:08 AM.

  28. - Top - End - #1408
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Hey Hyudra, now that I'm back and have edited the Gray Jester, the next time you're messing with the first posts could it get moved off the abandoned list?

  29. - Top - End - #1409
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Biased critique isn't THAT biased. The balance of the abilities is all over the place.

    I'll switch over to something less eyeseering. Orange is just my usual default.

  30. - Top - End - #1410
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    Default Re: Community Based Monster Classes VI

    Nine, if you're going to be a rude about it, then I'm not going to respond to it.
    Marceline Abadeer by Gnomish Wanderer

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