Best things to put in/on a Keep

[Aemoh87]

There has been a few threads on here about building keeps lately and I was just wondering what the best things to have in your keep/put on your keep were? Any suggestions, keep it WotC please.

[*.*.*.*]

Golems! No wizard keep is a keep without golems(or massive amounts of undead)

[Aemoh87]

That is a fantastic idea but I am a cleric :(

And I don't (under any circumstances) trust my wizard with an army of golems. He is that kind of wizard... you know what I am talking about. you know.

[Amnestic]

1) Harem.
2) Pet dragon (colour/hue/sheen as desired)
3) An old witch who speaks in cryptic metaphors.
4) Fully stocked kitchen.
5) A princess locked in your tower.
6) A moat stocked with aggressive aquatic monster of choice.

You can trade in the dragon for something else if you want; a hydra perhaps. Something big and menacing. Possibly which you can ride.

[Aemoh87]

I'm old school so dragon will do just fine :)

But seriously no one has said scrying protection yet?

[*.*.*.*]

6) A moat stocked with aggressive aquatic monster of choice.

Better yet! Make the moat out of acid(or lava) and apply the template out of dungeonscape on them!

[Amnestic]

I'm old school so dragon will do just fine :)

But seriously no one has said scrying protection yet?

Scrying protection's fer panzies.

Better yet! Make the moat out of acid(or lava) and apply the template out of dungeonscape on them!

I like the idea of lava since it doubles as free eeeeeerie lighting for your stronghold at night.

[Aemoh87]

I should also let you know some serious thrall herding is going down and my DM is treating it like the family members of these people might wonder where they wandered off too. So adventurers may come to see.

[RndmNumGen]

Better yet! Make the moat out of acid(or lava) and apply the template out of dungeonscape on them!

If you want a lava moat, you will need some ingenious contraption that can keep the lava heated while not melting everything around it.

You know, because lava isn't actually a heat source.

[evil-frosty]

Magic is the answer of course. This is DnD right? Magic solves all problems. Right?

[Aemoh87]

Magic is the answer of course. This is DnD right? Magic solves all problems. Right?

Magic is both the problem and solution.

[Epsilon Rose]

Prismatic walls, lots of them.

[dsmiles]

Siege weapons. Lots of siege weapons.

[Kobold Esq]

• One room entirely filled with those plastic balls you can swim in.
• Ballroom. Haven't you seen Beauty and the Beast? That was TIGHT.
• Dunegons. No, you'll never have any prisoners, but it should look menacing.
• A library. At least one book shelf or fireplace should rotate, Scooby Doo style.
• No fewer that three sconces that can be pulled on to act as levers.
• Bathroom. You'd be surprised how many times novice castle builders forget the basics.
• Mood lighting.

[Tvtyrant]

If you want a lava moat, you will need some ingenious contraption that can keep the lava heated while not melting everything around it.

You know, because lava isn't actually a heat source.

Just make a permanent gate to the demiplane of lava and have the tilted so the lava flows down into a field at one end.

[Kobold Esq]

Just make a permanent gate to the demiplane of lava and have the tilted so the lava flows down into a field at one end.

Or into a second permanent gate. Maybe to the plane of air? Someplace unobtrusive.

[Tvtyrant]

Or into a second permanent gate. Maybe to the plane of air? Someplace unobtrusive.

Or into the elemental plane of water so that steam constantly rises from the keep and obscures it from the view of those approaching it.

[Poil]

-Spikes with skulls.
-Gargoyles.
-A bound devil or demon. Just because you can.
-Garbage and waste disposal is a short chute ending in a disintegrate trap. Climbing up the fake ones from the outside merely has the intruder being gated to the abyss.
-Trapdoor under the floor in front of the "throne" for annoying guests. Teleportation or gate traps are also acceptable.
-Kobold servants.
-Stable for various kind of rideable animals.
-A tall and creaking tower.
-Haunted mausoleum with matching catacombs.
-Half dragon chimpanzees.
-Pleasant herb garden.

I could go on forever.

[BayardSPSR]

Flying monkeys. I'm genuinely surprised no one has suggested this yet.

[Aemoh87]

You wouldn't say flying monkeys if you have seen Return to Oz. Hands down the scariest movie ever.

[BayardSPSR]

You wouldn't say flying monkeys if you have seen Return to Oz. Hands down the scariest movie ever.

Oh! So a not-scary keep... Well, nothing beats a meadow full of bunnies - they give the right impression to the local peasants (which is 'taxes and forced labor are okay if the setting is pleasant enough') AND they make very good eating. I'm completely serious on this.

And as far as defenses go, the probable 1/10 CR for each one adds up if you have hundreds of them... I've heard the same goes for chickens.

[Aemoh87]

It's a scary keep... just not that scary.

[Zen Master]

If you want a lava moat, you will need some ingenious contraption that can keep the lava heated while not melting everything around it.

You know, because lava isn't actually a heat source.

Or ...

"GODS DARN IT! What happened to my beautiful lava moat?! Why didn't anyone tell me this stuff cools? What good is a warm but cooling rock moat?! Throw me a bone here, people - daddy needs to know about these things!"

Buddy of mine designed a dungeon where the long dead evil guy had placed a bucket of lava over a door. Just to see if the players would figure out what a bucket of stone was doing there.

[Hyudra]

What about under? Picture a keep that rests on the back or shoulders of a Colossal+ creature. Failing that, a mountain with the exterior shaped to look like a colossal+ slumbering creature?

Hrm. What about statues, carved to look like people trying to shield their eyes? You could unnerve guests quite a bit with that. Or if you want it to go a step further, have a few with some horrible things wrong with them. Extra arms growing out of their bodies, half melted, gigantic spears sticking out of them, yadda yadda.

On a more mundane level: Stained glass windows?

[Aemoh87]

There is an alarm type statue in the Stronghold Builders Guidebook that would work perfect :)

Good idea!