[Exalted 2e, Martial Art] Lightning Dragon Style [PEACH]

[IcarusWings]

This is the first installment in my project of creating Celestial Dragon Styles for the Autochthonian, Stygian, and Vitriol elements (which I will later hopefully develop into full DB-Mirror aspects {Which I've heard is also a current project of Lix Lorn. Meh}). This still needs a couple more charms, and is probably horribly borked (on either end of the scale), so it's definitely a WIP.

Note:This is my first ever homebrew for exalted (that I've shown to anyone anyway), so be gentle

Lightning Dragon Style
Lightning Dragon Style embodies the true form of Lightning. It emphasizes speed and precision above all else, not just in attacks but in methodology. A quick, clean, one-hit kill is much preferable to a flurry of blindingly fast attacks that are easily defended by the target. Lightning does not stay still, but instead flickers out of the void of the sky for an impossibly fast strike, and disappears again to prepare once more.
Because of these traits, Lightning Dragon Style is a favourite Martial Art for assassins in the Realm of Brass and Shadow, and they certainly are the most common practitioners. But Lightning does not discriminate, and any are open to learn its ways.
The signature weapon of Lightning Dragon Style is the Knife and any Artifact equivalents. Easily concealed and deadly when well-placed, any attack made with a Knife counts as unarmed for the purposes of charms of this style.
Lightning Dragon Stylists gain unparalleled proficiency with this weapon, and any attack with a Knife that is not part of a flurry, automatically pierces half of the target’s natural soak. Under Possible Revision
Lightning Dragon Style is not compatible with armour.

Untrackable Lightning Strike
Cost: 2m Mins: Martial Arts 2, Essence 2 Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Combo-OK, Obvious
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None
With the speed of flickering lightning, the Martial Artist may make an unarmed attack that has its Speed reduced by 1, to a minimum of 2, and deals 2 extra unsoakable bashing levels of damage due to the intense speed. If this attack is made after an enemy’s action, but the Martial Artist’s next action still comes before the Enemy’s (essentially, if they overtake them in the reaction count), then that enemy loses track of the Martial Artist’s lightning speed, and treats any attack made by the Martial Artist before their action as unexpected. Under complete revision

Silence Before Thunder Technique
Cost: 3m Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2 Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Combo-Basic
Duration: One Action
Prerequisites: Untrackable Lightning Strike
When a lightning bolt falls, its strike is not heralded until the thunder roars seconds later, so too do practitioners of this style gain a brief moment of calm after their strike and before the penny drops. Whenever the Martial Artist makes an unarmed surprise attack supplemented by this charm, their presence is not made known to everyone (except the target who knows instantly, and may alert others) until the Martial Artist’s DV refreshes. This means that they do not have to re-establish surprise to hit anyone before the end of this duration (except the original target).

Blinding Flash Atemi
Cost: 2m Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2 Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Combo-OK, Crippling, Obvious
Duration: Three Actions
Prerequisites: Untrackable Lightning Strike
The Martial Artist soon learns to mimic the searing light of the Lightning Dragon, by a swift brutal jab to the eyes. If the Martial Artist deals at least a single level of post-soak damage on an unarmed attack supplemented by this charm, then the target takes an internal penalty equal to the Martial Artist’s (essence) to all visual awareness rolls until their DV refreshes three times, or they take a miscellaneous action to re-orientate themselves.

Lightning Dragon Form
Cost: 3m Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2 Type: Simple
Keywords: Form-type, Combo-Basic, Obvious
Duration: One Scene
Prerequisites: Silence Before Thunder Technique, Blinding Flash Atemi
Lightning punishes any who dares attempt a retaliation. Upon assuming this form, lightning crackles around the Martial Artists body, defending him and wreaking vengeance upon his enemies. While in this form, the Martial Artist gains a temporary 10 mote Overdrive pool, which fills by 2 motes whenever he is attacked, and by 1 mote whenever an enemy moves within (Martial Arts) yards of the Martial Artist. The Martial Artist may reflexively spend 2 motes from this pool to arc electricity from his body and strike an enemy within (Martial Arts) yards for (Essence x 3) dice of bashing damage. Under minor revision

Grounded Current Stance
Cost: 3m Mins: Martial Arts 4, Essence 3 Type: Reflexive
Duration: One Action
Prerequisites: Lightning Dragon Form
Lightning always seeks the quickest and easiest path to re-unite with the ground, dissipating across the solid earth. Practitioners of the Lightning Dragon Style learn to teach this lesson to the attacks of others. For the duration of this Charm, the Martial Artist gains a Hardness against for all damage equal to double their (essence), so long as they are touching the ground, this does not stack with any other hardness the Martial Artist may have. At the end of the duration the Martial Artist may renew this charm as an innate action and not as a charm activation, but they must repay the cost.

Pulsing Thunderbolt Technique
Cost: 3m per strike Mins: Martial Arts 4, Essence 3 Type: Extra Action
Keywords: Combo-basic
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Grounded Current Stance
Lightning does not strike once and wait, it flickers over and over again, boring its way into the target until it breaks through. This charm allows the Martial Artist to make a Magical Flurry of up to (half your essence) unarmed attacks, in which the totals of raw damage are all cumulative for each attack, rather than separate, for the purposes of overcoming hardness and then soak. Under Possible Revision

Clouded Base of Operations Method
Cost: 5m Mins: Martial Arts 4, Essence 3 Type: Reflexive
Keywords: none
Duration: Up to Two Actions
Prerequisites: Lightning Dragon Form
When Lightning strikes, it does not move, it simply returns to the cloud and strikes again. Upon activating this charm, the Martial Artist leaves a crackling spark of energy at his current location. He may then carry on as he wishes. At any time before the duration runs out, the Martial Artist may reflexively (this may be during an attack, but no earlier than Step 9) end this charm and instantly return to the marker and have his DV refresh.

Vanishing Lightning Kata
Cost: 4m Mins: Martial Arts 4, Essence 3 Type: Reflexive (step 9)
Keywords: Combo-OK
Duration: Two Actions
Prerequisites: Clouded Base of Operations Method
After lightning strikes, it fades away, only to flicker to life once more in a burst of precise brutality. With this charm, Martial Artists may do the same. This charm may only be activated after an unarmed attack, and it allows you to instantly dematerialise after an attack for up to two actions. For the duration, you are invisible and untouchable except to other dematerialised beings and anyone who can observe and interact with dematerialised beings. You may see but not interact with others who are dematerialised. This charm instantly ends once you attack a materialised being, the attack counts as unexpected if the target cannot perceive dematerialised targets. Under Possible Revision

Never-Strike-Twice Method
Cost: 3m per attack Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3 Type: Extra Action
Keywords: Combo-Basic
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Pulsing Thunderbolt Technique, Vanishing Lightning Kata
They say that no matter how many times it flickers, lightning never strikes the same place twice; this is especially true for master followers of the Lightning Dragon. By using this pinnacle of their style, Martial Artists may make a magical flurry of up to (essence) unarmed attacks with no penalties. After each attack you may instantly move as far as a Dash Action would allow, in order to make another attack against a target, this need not be a different target. This Dash is so fast that it is impossible to track, and onlookers merely see the Martial Artist flicker from place to place. Because of this, after each Dash made as part of this charm, the Martial Artist may make a roll to re-establish surprise against the target of their next attack with a -1 external penalty for each time the target has been hit before as part of this flurry, if they succeed then it becomes unexpected.

[The Rose Dragon]

First: it's short. At 9 Charms, it is rivaled only by hero styles in its shortness. I would give it 2 extra Charms.

Second: I don't like the weapon benefit. Not because it's too powerful, but because it is not an Immaculate Dragon style, and has no riders on which kind of martial artists it works with, unlike the Immaculate Styles.

Untrackable Lightning Style: Get rid of it. Not only is reducing an attack's speed below 3 (in fact, most often, to 3) is a bad idea 99% of the time, but it is far too easy to get an unexpected attack with it. There needs to be some sort of defense against the unexpected attack for the Charm to be merely ridiculously powerful rather than unacceptable.

Blinding Flash Atemi: Is it only visual Awareness rolls or all Awareness rolls? Either way, I would change it to a single level of damage, rather than die, since beating Hardness is too easy. May use the Crippling keyword as well.

Lightning Dragon Form: Way too cheap. The overdrive motes are easier to get than some Solar Charms (and you should clarify whether the movement thing happens once, or each time an enemy moves within that radius, even after the first entry). You need to explain the attack pool for the lightning arc, what kind of action it takes, and if Reflexive, which step it is done in. You should also add the Form-type combo activation rule in.

Grounded Current Stance: What does un-pierceable mean? Also, you need to explain which step it is used in if it can be used outside your action. Also, you haven't written any keywords.

Pulsing Thunderbolt Stance: This has potential to be far too powerful, but armor is already useless, so it won't affect much for most enemies.

Vanishing Lightning Kata: Reflexive Charms should not be activated at Step 9 unless they are Counterattacks, because of certain rules regarding that particular step. I would make defending against the unexpected attack easier.

The style in general: Several of these Charms should probably be Obvious, especially the Form.

Overall, I think it is too powerful for general use, especially because it has several ways of giving unexpected attacks, which are very powerful to be given out so simply.

[Tavar]

Umm...so, attacks by knives aren't part of flurries? That's really strong. I'd say, too strong. With a perfectly normal knife, that's 3 attacks pretty much without penalty. You could also dual wield them, use better quality weapons, or artifact weapons for a huge advantage.

[IcarusWings]

First: it's short. At 9 Charms, it is rivaled only by hero styles in its shortness. I would give it 2 extra Charms.

Yeah, I agree it needs more Charms, but I ran out of steam, so I decided to present it to the Playground to see if criticism could both help me redo stuff that need redoing and jog my creativity.

Second: I don't like the weapon benefit. Not because it's too powerful, but because it is not an Immaculate Dragon style, and has no riders on which kind of martial artists it works with, unlike the Immaculate Styles.

Fair enough, I had it in more for the fact that this is the Autochthonian equivalent of an Immaculate style, but I see your point about not having a Martial Arts organisation to give the training for the benefit.

Untrackable Lightning Style: Get rid of it. Not only is reducing an attack's speed below 3 (in fact, most often, to 3) is a bad idea 99% of the time, but it is far too easy to get an unexpected attack with it. There needs to be some sort of defense against the unexpected attack for the Charm to be merely ridiculously powerful rather than unacceptable.

That's a typo and should be minimum 3, but other than that I accept your points. Now I have to think of a new starter charm
Are any parts of it salvageable for use post-form, or is it so broken that I should burn it under the Green Sun and douse in Vitriol?

Blinding Flash Atemi: Is it only visual Awareness rolls or all Awareness rolls? Either way, I would change it to a single level of damage, rather than die, since beating Hardness is too easy. May use the Crippling keyword as well.

Visual Awareness, and that sounds like a good change, will do.

Lightning Dragon Form: Way too cheap. The overdrive motes are easier to get than some Solar Charms (and you should clarify whether the movement thing happens once, or each time an enemy moves within that radius, even after the first entry). You need to explain the attack pool for the lightning arc, what kind of action it takes, and if Reflexive, which step it is done in. You should also add the Form-type combo activation rule in.

Fair enough, this was one of the ones I was less sure about (thematically as well as mechanically). Will do a revision. Original draft of the charm was 1m when attacked, and 2m when attacked by a metallic weapon. Sound fine, or will much more serious revisions have to come?
Also, this Form-type activation. I'm not entirely sure what it is. If you mean the thing where you can reflexively activate the Form if you fulfill specific criteria, then I remember seeing it on an Ink Monkeys MA, but couldn't find any info about it in the books.

Grounded Current Stance: What does un-pierceable mean? Also, you need to explain which step it is used in if it can be used outside your action. Also, you haven't written any keywords.

I have... no idea what un-pierceable means to be honest. Don't know how that got in there. Probably meant something like can't be bypassed by the piercing tag though, knowing my trains of thought. And to be honest, I wasn't sure which Keywords to give it (I largely assign keywords based on if I remember to add certain Keywords. Should probably be more thorough).

Pulsing Thunderbolt Stance: This has potential to be far too powerful, but armor is already useless, so it won't affect much for most enemies.

Should I tone it down then?

Vanishing Lightning Kata: Reflexive Charms should not be activated at Step 9 unless they are Counterattacks, because of certain rules regarding that particular step. I would make defending against the unexpected attack easier.

The idea was to be able to use it to avoid counter-attacks. Is there a specific rules problem with that I should be aware of?

The style in general: Several of these Charms should probably be Obvious, especially the Form.

Completely forgot about Obvious to be honest. Really need to be more meticulous with my Keywording it seems.

Overall, I think it is too powerful for general use, especially because it has several ways of giving unexpected attacks, which are very powerful to be given out so simply.

Any suggested ways to tone it down without losing the theme of being a fast assassin who retreats back into the shadows after a kill (the theme is essentially Unexpected Attacks)?

Also, can I assume that since you didn't mention Silence Before Thunder Technique, Clouded Base of Operations Method or Never-Strike-Twice Method, that they're okay? Or are you just reserving judgement for later?

Umm...so, attacks by knives aren't part of flurries? That's really strong. I'd say, too strong. With a perfectly normal knife, that's 3 attacks pretty much without penalty. You could also dual wield them, use better quality weapons, or artifact weapons for a huge advantage.

That's not what I intended. It's supposed to be read that if you don't flurry (i.e. make only a single strike) in the tick, then you get the benefit. Should I reword it for clarity?