Funniest character stories/builds/tales (any system)

[Jubal_Barca]

Okay, so what was the most amusing character you or a fellow player has ever come up with? I'm talking the sorts of characters who both have an amusingly ridiculous concept, and then turn out to be (genuinely) comedy gold in the campaign. And what do you think about playing alongside characters like that? Does the amusement counteract the fact they often aren't the most practically useful of team-mates?

[Elyssian]

In one of the campaigns i'm playing now our party rouge made INT her dump stat and is about as smart as Peter Griffin. After the first few mishaps we learned to put patches on our backs so that she knew not to back stab us, cause we all look the same to her without them.
The character actually works pretty well the way she is being played, she does forget what items she has on her at any given time but so far the party is having a good time keeping her occupied and finding creative reasons to explain why we need her to do things like pick locks, we made it incentive based, every so many disabled locks/traps she gets something shiny and/or tasty. Now if only we could get her to stop looking at the elves in the party as tasty treats also(She is a Hobgoblin we picked up in Undermountain).

[dsmiles]

I'd have to go with my Kobold Trapmaster, Trip. He was an odd Kobold, to say the least. He was a follower of Gond Wonderbringer, and got along famously with Gnomes (simply due to his ability with machines; had we been playing Iron Kingdoms, he would have been a Bodger instead of a Rogue). He actually helped design several gnomish inventions and was awarded the key to a gnomish city, though the gnomes couldn't quite remember what, exactly, the key unlocked (but we had a grand time finding out).

[Jubal_Barca]

My own characters do have a tendency to be the comedy rather than the useful side in a team... my two best were my Shadowrun PI and my WHFRP Halfling (though my slightly pyromaniac half-elf wizard is shaping up pretty well on the comedy front, since having taken Charm Person and Sleep as my only spells into a dungeon of Undead there ain't much else I can do).

Shadowrun: my Dwarf investigator, Dugan Taxsyn, always brought axes to gunfights. His investigative skills turned out to be wholly useless in a campaign based around a lot of fast-paced combat, so I spent most of it trying to either a) sidle into the nearest pub and order salted peanuts (and NOBODY HAD ANY SALTED PEANUTS!) or b) hit the nearest thing with an axe. Taxsyn's life was cut short when plan b) went wrong, we tried to interrupt some soul-binding ritual and it turned out that hitting the body with an axe was not overly helpful. The resulting demon wasn't terribly friendly either.

WHFRP: This guy was the cream of the crop for comedy. When rolling careers for my Tilean halfling, Tybarino "Frederich" Bagelskuchs, I hit gold. Gold in the form of the "political agitator" career. I even got to start with 2d6 explanatory pamphlets.

And thus the greatest wise-cracking far left wing bagel cooking political revolutionary was born. Attempting to convert an Imperial Captain to communism (he did take a pamphlet, eventually), throwing bagels at beastmen, displacing small children so I could hide in the carts rather than face said beastmen... happy, happy days. I spent more time trying to give pamphlets to the NPCs than I did fighting, for heaven's sake.

And the best bit? One guy at my WHFB club, who also RPs with me, has started an "against the Empire" campaign. Result? Dogs of War peasant rebel force against the Empire, including a halfling workers' Union led by Bagelskuchs (and accompanied by many shouts of "Where is NATO?" as we get ridden down by Brettonian knights).

[Aust Nailo]

Backstory:
We were playing an evil campaign, the two characters involved in the story were a Swordsage who was described as being wrapped in bandages like a mummy) and had extremely long arms. And our knife throwing Rogue. We had just finished our first trip in our new airship and had docked at a city harbor.

Story:
The Swordsage had recently bought a Ring of Feather Fall, and he decided to just jump off of the ship instead of using the ladder. He runs by the Rogue who decides to try and use sleight of Hand to grab the ring as the Swordsage runs by... he rolls a 20. He slips the ring right off the Swordsages hand, the oblivious Swordsage jumps right off the boat and instead of gracefully floating down he falls flat on his face on the dock. The Rogue then puts on the ring and jumps of the boat to float down in front of the Swordsage and offer him the ring saying "Here, you forgot this in your room." Bluff check...rolls high again. The Swordsage believes him completely, then thanks the Rogue for giving him his ring back.

[Absol197]

In a WoD game, a homebrewed Superheroes system.

The character's name was Maurice Kowalzki. His super powers? Super-Luck, and the ability to bake supernaturally delicious pastries. In a serious-business setting.

This character was the best: he was a drug-addicted, alcoholic slacker, but everybody loved him being around, because he made the best ever pastries you've ever tasted (just don't try his brownies...), and because near him, everything goes the right way.

The party was based out of Las Vegas, and their secret headquarters was in the middle of the desert, with only a single road nearby. They didn't have any cars, but they didn't need any: "Hey, Maurice, we need to get to town. Flag us down a cab." Maurice: "Okay!" *5 seconds later, a taxi comes down the road*
"Hey, Maurice, we need to get somewhere, and we don't have directions. Start walking." *They get where they're going.* This did backfire on the group once, though: Maurice really wanted some Coke, so his random walkings got him to a dealer instead of the crime-boss's house...

Basically, the more rediculous and unlikely the things he tried, the higher his chance of success. In one memorable fight in a construction yard, he kicked a toolbox in the general direction of an enemy that was hiding behind a pile of steel girders that was over 15 yards away, while drunk and high on weed. A hammer flew out of the toolbox and struck the guy directly on the head, doing enough damage to finish him off.