What could you do? [Futurama & Bender]

[Kansaschaser]

I watched a new episode of Futurama last night and Bender got ahold of a device that let him scan any object and create two identical objects that were about half of it's original size. He had to add some matter to the scanner to duplicate the object.

Needless to say he replicated himself, then his "mini me's" did it again, and again, etc...

If you were given a device in a roleplaying game that did the same thing, what would you do with the device? How could you abuse this item?

[Hecuba]

It's a matter-transmuting Von Neumann machine. How could you not abuse it?

[Sipex]

Quarterlings.

That is all.

[Kansaschaser]

It's a matter-transmuting Von Neumann machine. How could you not abuse it?

About the only thing you can't do would be to scan a living person and have it pop out two smaller versions. Technically, you could't replicate anything living. It could pop out two smaller versions, but they wouldn't be alive.

My first thought would be to replicate diamonds or other precious gems to make lots of money.

[Hat-Trick]

scan a gold bar a few times and profit...

[Sipex]

Nothing living you say? Damn.

Dead Quarterlings?

Finding out if a wand of cure light wounds is still as effective when half the size.

[Kansaschaser]

Nothing living you say? Damn.

Dead Quarterlings?

Finding out if a wand of cure light wounds is still as effective when half the size.

Well, they don't tell you that you can't duplicate a living creature and have it come out alive. But even if it worked, the duplicates would die in short order. Since they are about 50% smaller, they would die from a lack of oxygen. The hemaglobin in their blood would be too small to carry the oxygen molecule. You'd have to somehow shrink the oxygen in the air by 50% so they could breathe. Even then, I'm not sure how they could break down the vitamins and protene in food once you've figured out the the breathing problem.

[hydroplatypus]

Well, they don't tell you that you can't duplicate a living creature and have it come out alive. But even if it worked, the duplicates would die in short order. Since they are about 50% smaller, they would die from a lack of oxygen. The hemaglobin in their blood would be too small to carry the oxygen molecule. You'd have to somehow shrink the oxygen in the air by 50% so they could breathe. Even then, I'm not sure how they could break down the vitamins and protene in food once you've figured out the the breathing problem.

You are only correct if it shrinks the entire object AND EVERY PARTICLE IN IT to 1/2 size. In that case they would die in about 2 min from a lack of oxygen. That being said I would assume that a device like this would produce an equivalent object with 1/2 of the particles in it, leaving every individual particle the same size. Although technically its not a perfect copy at the molecular level I don't think anyone in the D&D world would be able to know that. With this method quarterlings would not fail for your stated reason (might fail for other reasons). Thus size ratio would not be a problem as midgets have lived for average lifespans, proving that smaller than average people can survive. I doubt that quarterlings would be smaller then midgets so they would live. Now eighthlings might be a problem.

[Tyndmyr]

You are only correct if it shrinks the entire object AND EVERY PARTICLE IN IT to 1/2 size. In that case they would die in about 2 min from a lack of oxygen.

Is...is that bad?

[Akal Saris]

Midget zombies!

[HappyBlanket]

Well, they don't tell you that you can't duplicate a living creature and have it come out alive. But even if it worked, the duplicates would die in short order. Since they are about 50% smaller, they would die from a lack of oxygen. The hemaglobin in their blood would be too small to carry the oxygen molecule. You'd have to somehow shrink the oxygen in the air by 50% so they could breathe. Even then, I'm not sure how they could break down the vitamins and protene in food once you've figured out the the breathing problem.

I think you're missing the point here.

[randomhero00]

Wizards don't depend on size, in fact, they'd generally benefit from being really small....

[Kansaschaser]

I think you're missing the point here.

Well, lets say for arguments sake that you can replicate living creatures and that they wouldn't die from being smaller.

If I were playing a spellcaster in D&D, I would replicate myself as much as possible. Spells are still spells, no matter what size the caster. You wouldn't need to make a Similacrum army. You could keep an army of spellcasters in your pocket.

[golentan]

Construct something at full scale (a work of art, say, or a clockwork mechanism). Shrink it down massively, enough so that the blocky construction at full scale is magnificently fine work at target scale. If you can't make money off it, and you can't come up with some useful clockwork mechanism, you're doing it hideously wrong. Off the top of my head, useful tools for rpg characters I can think of include but are not limited to: watches, automatic lockbreakers, concealed weaponry of assorted descriptions, calculators... If it retains magical properties in the shrinking, the possibilities are truly endless. The tippyverse literally in the palm of your hand (include several dozen utility magic traps with easy access triggers/command codes). And since they're cheap to make, you can make a mint off them while still undercutting competition by a factor of dozens.

[Kansaschaser]

Midget zombies!

Hehe, that would end up being a tiny Zombie swarm. Get them small enough and it might be an "Undead Ooze". I think a Ghoul Swarm would be worse. Each one could possibly paralyze you.

[hangedman1984]

Well, they don't tell you that you can't duplicate a living creature and have it come out alive. But even if it worked, the duplicates would die in short order. Since they are about 50% smaller, they would die from a lack of oxygen. The hemaglobin in their blood would be too small to carry the oxygen molecule. You'd have to somehow shrink the oxygen in the air by 50% so they could breathe. Even then, I'm not sure how they could break down the vitamins and protene in food once you've figured out the the breathing problem.

oh won't someone please think of the poor catgirls

[OracleofWuffing]

If you were given a device in a roleplaying game that did the same thing, what would you do with the device? How could you abuse this item?

...If I don't put anything in the machine, is there a failsafe preventing it from "cloning" itself?

'Cause if so, I'm going to remove the failsafe and let the machine "clone" itself.

Also, I really really really wanted to watch the new Futurama episodes, but there was absolutely no way for me to record them!

[Ravens_cry]

oh won't someone please think of the poor catgirls

Oh, he thought of them all right, he thought they should die.

[Eldan]

You are only correct if it shrinks the entire object AND EVERY PARTICLE IN IT to 1/2 size. In that case they would die in about 2 min from a lack of oxygen. That being said I would assume that a device like this would produce an equivalent object with 1/2 of the particles in it, leaving every individual particle the same size. Although technically its not a perfect copy at the molecular level I don't think anyone in the D&D world would be able to know that. With this method quarterlings would not fail for your stated reason (might fail for other reasons). Thus size ratio would not be a problem as midgets have lived for average lifespans, proving that smaller than average people can survive. I doubt that quarterlings would be smaller then midgets so they would live. Now eighthlings might be a problem.

If it can copy a complicated robot to 1/2 size and all the electronics and mechanics still work, I'm not sure a living being wouldn't.


Anyway. Can we copy scrolls of wish?

[Kansaschaser]

If it can copy a complicated robot to 1/2 size and all the electronics and mechanics still work, I'm not sure a living being wouldn't.


Anyway. Can we copy scrolls of wish?

Yeah, I think Magic Items would copy just fine. Magic items work no matter the size. That's a good idea. Copy anything that has wishes in it.

[Vknight]

Tarrasque Swarm. Thats it.

[Randel]

Distilled Joy is a semi-magical liquid normally gotten by extracting joy from a living being that can provide 2xp worth of crafting XP per dose. Normally its a pain to get with the spell needed to get it being 3rd level with a casting time of 24 hours.

But, if you can get a dose and copy it a few hundred times you could pour all the mini-doses into a bigger container and copy that, even eventually being able to mass produce it at a huge rate. This effectively gives you an unlimited source of crafting XP to use to make whatever magic item or XP requiring magic effect you want or sell the stuff to casters who need it for crafting.

It would probably be best to mass produce liquids, gasses, or bulk materials and then have some fabrication process turn it into useful stuff. Better than making something and then replicating a bunch of inferior copies of it.

If the machine mass produces Distilled Joy for crafting XP (and you can sell it to spellcasters for gold to cover your GP costs) then you can use the resulting stuff to craft whatever you want without worrying about the machine being able to properly replicate it.

I suppose you could also do something like craft a watch, have the machine replicate a smaller version, and then revel in the fact that you've got an ultra-fine watch that would be hard to make with conventional means.

[averagejoe]

Does it half the volume, or does it halve every dimension (Which would make each iteration have 1/4 the volume of the original)? Either way, I don't think this is a good trick with gold/diamonds, as suggested above. You can't actually make more material, if I understand correctly.

It occurs to me that with one of these you'd never need Open Lock again. Similarly, it could be potentially hilarious as a readied action against ropes someone is swinging on, planks someone is stepping on, and so on. Potentially funny to use on someone's weapons/armor/shield too, if possible. Heck, used offensively, this thing sounds worse than a rust monster for pointlessly punishing martial types, between size reduction and gear uselessness shenanigans.

Distilled Joy is a semi-magical liquid normally gotten by extracting joy from a living being that can provide 2xp worth of crafting XP per dose. Normally its a pain to get with the spell needed to get it being 3rd level with a casting time of 24 hours.

But, if you can get a dose and copy it a few hundred times you could pour all the mini-doses into a bigger container and copy that, even eventually being able to mass produce it at a huge rate. This effectively gives you an unlimited source of crafting XP to use to make whatever magic item or XP requiring magic effect you want or sell the stuff to casters who need it for crafting.

It would probably be best to mass produce liquids, gasses, or bulk materials and then have some fabrication process turn it into useful stuff. Better than making something and then replicating a bunch of inferior copies of it.

If the machine mass produces Distilled Joy for crafting XP (and you can sell it to spellcasters for gold to cover your GP costs) then you can use the resulting stuff to craft whatever you want without worrying about the machine being able to properly replicate it.

I suppose you could also do something like craft a watch, have the machine replicate a smaller version, and then revel in the fact that you've got an ultra-fine watch that would be hard to make with conventional means.

It seems like, at best, you'd break even with the liquid joy.

[Randel]

Okay, found the episode Benderama and the Banach-Tarski Dupla-Shrinker on Infosphere.

The device can create two copies of an object each of which are supposedly 60% of its size but are 21.6% its mass (so when creating duplicates of a bulk material then each use gives you an extra 43.2% of the material).

Distilled Joy is worth 2 xp per ounce so a gallon would be worth 256 xp (A 4.63 gallon container should result in 1 gallon containers when duplicated). It would be worth it to at least get the system set up because then you could create all the crafting XP you need to make magic items later so you can duplicate the magic items.

For example, you could get a 4.63 gallon jug and drop one ounce of distilled joy in it. Duplicate that, take the jugs you get and pour their contents back into the origional. Repeat until the big jug is full and you are getting full gallons of distilled joy.

Then, create 20 gallons of distilled Joy and use that as the crafting xp for scribing a scroll of Wish (wait... that's just the bare minimum for the spell. Repeat the process to get the xp cost for the scroll and maybe duplicate vials of ink for the gp cost).

Once you scribe a scroll of wish (making the scroll 166% times as big on each side so the resulting copies are normal sized) then you can copy it several times and then bind the scrolls into a book. Then copy the book.

You now have pretty much unlimited wishes... except the Wish spell can only reliably make nonmagical items up to 25,000 gp in value. Don't know the limits on wishing for magic items but there is still that cap in power.

If you want to make anything more expensive than what a Wish spell can get you then you'll probably have to craft it. For that, just use Distilled Joy to get enough crafting xp, wish for the material to make it (bind together 50 wish spells into a book, then copy the book to fill a whole shelf full) and craft the item at 463% its rightful size so the copies turn out the proper size.

I'm sure with unlimited wishes and crafting xp you can find something to do.

[erikun]

What happens if I start scanning quarks?

oh won't someone please think of the poor catgirls

We can scan them too, although I doubt they'll fare any better than any other living beings.

[OracleofWuffing]

What happens if I start scanning quarks?

Yeah, I'm wondering this, too, because with my duplicate the duplicator scheme going on, I'm duplicating the duplicator, but I'm more specifically duplicating the duplicator in the process of duplicating itself. So, when it's done duplicating, the two clones it made already have two clones each finished duplicating and those clones also have two clones a piece finished duplicating, which also have two clones a piece which have already finished duplicating themselves which

[Vknight]

We can scan them too, although I doubt they'll fare any better than any other living beings.

You forget catgirls are immune to the effects of physics so in this situation you'd make a large number of loli catgirls so all you've done is help this guy.

[Pie Guy]

You are only correct if it shrinks the entire object AND EVERY PARTICLE IN IT to 1/2 size. In that case they would die in about 2 min from a lack of oxygen. That being said I would assume that a device like this would produce an equivalent object with 1/2 of the particles in it, leaving every individual particle the same size. Although technically its not a perfect copy at the molecular level I don't think anyone in the D&D world would be able to know that. With this method quarterlings would not fail for your stated reason (might fail for other reasons). Thus size ratio would not be a problem as midgets have lived for average lifespans, proving that smaller than average people can survive. I doubt that quarterlings would be smaller then midgets so they would live. Now eighthlings might be a problem.

In the episode, the Benders were so small that they could manipulate water to create alcohol directly, and because the sizes shrink with each generation, there would be a definite smallest size possible. Unfortunately for physics, the matter actually shrinks.